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When God says mind body and soul. He definitely means mind body and soul.

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I’m starting over and this time by myself for myself, hopefully with God.

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My only plan for 2024 is getting out of America the Babylon.

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What is the purpose for moving forward?

I guess this is where I am in life. Questioning Life

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Everything I tried failed. So I don’t care to do or try anything else. Even with good intentions they failed, so I don’t care to do anything else.

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The thing is Jesus is coming back and people don’t want to believe it. No matter the reason, it’s going to leave you in a place that you don’t wanna be. I ain’t gon lie, I can’t wait for the ways of this world to end and for God to make His presence be known. It’s time to shut up all the boastful egos who don’t have no power but yet still looking to get it. God is the end all be all. He is the Alpha and Omega. The beginning and the end. The first and the last. People don’t want to accept that they have no real power. Everything we got came from God.

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I really ain’t got nothing to say. Really don’t care what happens anymore. It is what it is.

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I don’t like how I have to live in this broken fallen world. I don’t like that we have to go around guarding our hearts because people are evil and manipulate you and take advantage of you. What the fuck was God thinking about??? He created a world to what? Have control just to still have chaos going on??? Living in this world already sucked. Now knowing even more truth, this world sucks even more. I hate this place and I’m ready for the Russians or Koreans, or whoever hates this place the most to finish it off so this shit can be done for. I don’t care who’s making a difference, I really don’t give a damn anymore. This world ain’t give me nothing but shit when I KNOW I have love. Fuck this world and everybody in it.

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With bad habits, we often aren't addicted to the habit itself, but some underlying need we think it fulfills – if you can find a healthy alternative to satisfy that need, it'll be much easier to let go of the old habit.

Steven Handel, The Emotion Machine: Self-Improvement in the 21st Century

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I regret everyday not listening to that voice. I could’ve still been living my dreams. I really could have been. Not here in a place I’ve been tryna runaway from because all I have is bad memories of this place. Nothing but sad.

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Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I listened to that voice that was screaming no; trying to prevent a date rape that happened to me. Maybe me and God wouldn’t be so distant. 🥺😔

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Turns out I’m asexual. No wonder I never fit in with the people I was hanging with. The all had higher sexual desires. I was more into learning things and I learned something from them alright. Never be friends with people who are so far gone in the world. They just gon pull you done with them. I’m glad I had the strength to leave all they ass behind. Hopefully they choose Jesus, if not, they gon be getting fucked in hell but it ain’t gon be enjoyable for them.

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All I want to do is take it all back. The only way I know how to do that is relocate far, far away and start life over somewhere else. American is dead anyway.

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Getting involve with the wrong people can mess up your destiny as well. Just looking back over my life, I realize how much of it I wasted with the wrong people. I just know to never do it again. I don’t know how much time I have left to try and make something happen for life, but I hope Yahweh grants me grace to be able to do something in my life that I’M proud of. I’m not proud of any of the stuff I’ve been through. But I just need extra time to make and have the life I always wanted. And that’s free from everybody and doing something with meaning. This life ain’t never gave me nothing but hate, anger, and bitterness. It ain’t never been kind to me nor nice. The devil has always been against me and he never let up. And it didn’t matter how much I have fought with The Bible, prayed, worship, he always seem to be able to attack me. Tired of basing my happiness off of other people. That was the worst thing I ever did in life. Those people ain’t even around no more. I hate myself for that. I hate myself for believing in love. Love don’t exist here. It never did. The ONLY LOVE there is, is Jesus Christ. There is no love under this firmament. Just all the evilness that Satan has spread from one home to another. Can’t wait for Yahweh to ruin this place.

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Everybody acting like Bible prophecy ain’t coming to pass. Still acting like they got life to live and don’t realize they bout to lose wanting to stay sleep. I ain’t never seen nothing like it. But in the Bible, it said this was going to happen. A lot of people like to write off the fact that you going to hell if you don’t believe in Jesus Christ. They say things like “the Bible is predated.” or stuff like “they been saying Jesus coming back and He ain’t came yet (laughing)”. The only thing I can say to you is where you end up, it’s on you. I pray that people repent and confess their sins and confess that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world. I feel really bad for a lot of y’all. I pray YHWH has mercy on your soul because if you are still rejecting Him, then you really do not know what you do. May this post convict you.

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Life could’ve been great right now. But I fell in love with the wrong person. Before this person, I still looked at life as worth living. Now I look at life like everything sucks. God ain’t enough anymore to want to do this life. Don’t get me wrong I love God, but I wish I would’ve listen yet again. He’s probably somewhere laughing at me. Making jokes about me. I knew I should’ve never trusted him. I feel like my life is ruined! I wish I could take it all back and NEVER wasted my time with that person. He was just like the rapist that raped me. And had the nerve to say he cared about me. I really don’t have anything nice to say about that person. Nothing. I hope I never have to see his had a marriage but was cheating on her too ass making me fall in love with him to use me ass, old asf but still tryna do young boy shot ass face again.

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The fact that God is pulling me closer says a lot. I’ve been in this battle with me flesh, just killing it. It’s definitely been a battle. However it’s been worth it. Hard to deal with and accept but I’m here.