anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

It would be hilarious if it carries the wedding rings as well lol. Would Mr Holmes dare to grab the ring from a goose? 😂

DOC! PLEASE! PLEEASSEE, PUT A GOOSE ON YOUR WEDDING INVITES IT WOULD BE SO FUNNNYYYY!!!

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

girl look at that body you are sexy and you know it

Naturally.

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

How is he so handsome??!

I really

really really

truly, ridiculously

honestly, and terribly

fond of this old man.

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

They remind me of that spider person back 2022 or 2023.

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

Such colourful words. First, you insult Mr. Holmes after a string of poorly masked flirtation. Then, you shift to me—declaring, with great confidence, that I must aspire to be his wife. All because I did the job you seem incapable of understanding.

For your clarification, no—I have no interest in becoming his bride. There exists, fortunately, a far more competent, kinder, better-dressed man in government who owns the superior umbrella and looks exceptional in glasses. Unlike some, he knows how to wield both authority and restraint.

You called me desperate for attention. Interesting projection. Especially from someone who sent multiple anonymous messages hoping to get noticed.

In future, try consistency. Or relevance. Ideally both.

Do enjoy your evening. Preferably offline.

—M

Filed under: “Misguided Projections Dressed As Wit”

Tagline: “Loud yet forgettable.”

Access level: Denied.

Is it just me or the more I read, the more I realize that you lack anything to do with entertainment and just plain suck the fun out of everything.

If only you weren't such a buzz kill, you'd be more interesting.

Look forward to the next time something worthwhile comes from you.

Also, what was that phrase again..Something about "always a bridesmaid but never a bride" seems to fit the second assistant who seems to be failing her job.

Props to her though, if I was that desperate for attention I'd do the same.

Ah, unsolicited critique, cloaked in drama and thinly veiled insecurity. How refreshingly original.

It’s always enlightening to watch someone confuse substance with dullness and attention-seeking with effectiveness. Still, I do enjoy the irony: you accuse me of draining the fun while continuing to return for more. Curious behaviour. Almost… Pavlovian. And as for the choice of font colour: How fitting. A hue so frequently weaponised in passive aggression, yet worn like a badge of faux innocence. It screams “look at me” while pretending not to care whether anyone does.... It’s efficient, however. A visual shorthand that allows me to begin ignoring the message before I’ve even finished reading it. Credit where it’s due.

Return when you’ve acquired either restraint or relevance. One will do. Both would be a miracle.

Thank you for the entertainment. Truly.

MH

Archived. Filed under: “Emotional Outbursts: Unprompted, Unnecessary, Unoriginal.” Access restricted. Relevance: Negligible.

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

Colin Firth Barbies

In honor of May the Firth, please enjoy these Colin Firth Barbie posters.

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

This is so cute! I want this in a keychain!

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

The eyes! The suit! The stance! And ridiculously handsome!

Currently thinking about this old man and how absolutely desirable he is to my eyes

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

Actually really been thinking about snogging Harry Hart for the past two days

He's just too adorable

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

Handsome! 😍 He looks good in any style ngl!

Behold

I love he

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

Recall that the younger version of Harry woke up in a strange place, aged and without an eye. For a whole year he lived locked up, he didn't even have a proper chair. Harry could have become despondent, but he immersed himself in lepidopterology. And then he was nearly drowned, and he could have been legitimately angry, but he remained polite, explaining that he wouldn't work for people who drowned their employees. And he also put the puppy's life above his own, even though he was just a goddamn nerd, not a secret service agent, not military. Mentally he's barely over 20 years old, but he's so soft-hearted, reasonable, and polite.

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

His recorded reaction to this ask

Hey…uhh…I think Sherlock got attacked by geese???

Again? @artofdeductionbysholmes

MH

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

Ask DI Lestrade anon

What can one do to have sex with you? (Asking for a friend)

Let me be perfectly clear: access to me- in any sense- is not granted through charm, persistence, or hypothetical friends with very vivid imaginations and questionable desires.

It would require discretion, intelligence, national clearance, and the absence of questions like this one.

Which is to say: improbable.

MH

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

7:20am is early for you all? Try waking up at 5am for work

Why are you up so early, bestie?? It’s like 7:20 am over there?? What are you a functioning member of society???

Yes, astonishing, isn’t it? Some of us rise before noon without being dragged by obligation.

7:20 a.m. is when the functioning members of society begin shaping the day, not recovering from it. I suggest you try it sometime. You might even discover what ‘productivity’ feels like.

Or continue calling me “bestie” at ungodly hours. Either way, I’ll survive. You, less certainly.

MH

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

Is this accurate Mr Holmes? @atamh

Mycroft reveals where he keeps his emergency backup umbrella.

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

Exquisite taste as always, Mr Holmes

IM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU BACK!!! Tell me what’s your favorite painting? Mine is ‘Tempest on the Sea at Night’- Ivan Aivazovsky (1849.) linked below!

https://images.app.goo.gl/JTQkjdUoq4a4fGPY9

Aivazovsky, hmm? Drama, movement, a hint of doom. Good taste.

I’d choose something like Caspar David Friedrich’s The Sea of Ice. Cold. Stark. Majestic.

And rather inconvenient for anyone who thought the world owed them smooth sailing.

[anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek]

Don't leave Mr Holmes, I'll willingly answer them for you as your second assistant

Baby girl, it’s been four weeks I think about you often, I miss the way your skin smelt against mine, I should’ve held you closer and appreciated you more, just know that I miss you and I will wait for you to return.

Whoever you are, I suggest composing yourself before attempting poetry.

And do try to keep your longing out of my inbox.