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I have an intense - and perhaps quite toxic - urge to read through my old diary. The one from my darkest years.
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We're back to self harm, I see.
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Awww, I feel like I'm 16 again. Spiking my tea with rum, so my parents don't notice I'm drinking.
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Why would you sleep when you can cry?
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It does, now.
My city doesn't feel like home anymore.
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ED triggered just. like. that.
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Getting drunk instead of getting important shit done.
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I ain't gonna start talking to you again just to be your therapist.
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My city doesn't feel like home anymore.
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What’s the biggest freedom in this world? When you don’t have to share every single moment of your life on social media. When you have visited beautiful place and nobody knows about it. When you fall in love with someone and nobody knows about it. When you just won your life and nobody has to know about it. This is freedom for me.
In this world, full of illusions, moments are rare.
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what the fuck am I even doing talking to you again
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It takes one bad experience to stop feeling safe in the world.
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Men can assault you and then fucking walk away like nothing happened and you're just there, forced to go on with your life as if nothing happened, even though you just want to have a scorching hot shower and curl up in a fetal position.
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It's kind of a shitty feeling, when you post a bit of your writing and absolutely noone cares.
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