Thoughts of a bipolar person who just needs to share their story, feelings, happy days and hard days with the world. If you or someone you know were diagnozed with bipolar disorder this is an insiders view of what it's like to live with this.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by anotherdiaryofabipolar-blog and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
96K
Likes Per Post
54K
Reblog Per Post
42K
Reply Per Post
195
Time Between Posts
7 minutes
Number of Posts By Type
Text
6
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr was the first site to host the blog for President Barack Obama in 2011.
Text
Most days it’s okay for people to talk, listen to music, make loud noises, most days you’ll just join them and have fun... some other days it will fucking rip you apart inside in a way you can’t describe, you just need the world to shut up, to turn off the lights, to not exist and just stop any and everything your mind can see or hear or smeel or feel or imagine or say or breathe.... It may take you down to the ground holding your head between your knees, feeling like you are going to literally blow up. Sometimes it is not as acute but it stays there all day long or for days and days along and you just wanna bang your fucking head on the wall until it fucking stops, thank god for those very few people who have learnt to shut the fuck up when you are feeling like this.
When you’re in sensory overload but no one will leave you tf alone
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
I do not have suicidal tendencies but this is definitely a wake up call. Sometimes the most stupid concerns and complaints one might have may be shit next to what you are in the inside and they won’t notice how much harm “screaming” about it does.
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
Just because you “function” doesn’t mean you don’t deserve help.
37K notes
·
View notes
Text
Don’t be mad, I want to, I just can’t do it.
How hard can it be to just copy and past a bunch of data in a certain sequence to a certain form, save changes and then download it to a specific folder? It’s simple work right? copy, paste, repeat, repeat, finish form, save, download, next.
Well, no, not really. It really is not that simple. At the good days it would be a simple task, during one of those specific times in a manic episode in which you are hyperproductive and could do work from a year in a week it would be the simplest thing in the world, I could do over a hundred in an hour.
Well, not all days are good days.
Some days are just days, not good, not bad, just days, uneventful, not really bringing up any kind of feeling, I guess the word for that is numb, right? Yeah, I guess I am numb.
In days like this I am not able to copy and paste to things in the correct sequence, I make mistakes, I have to start over, I paste things on the wrong spot, I download the wrong file, I just fuck up... no matter how hard I try.
How do you explain that to someone who’s never felt this way? Who’s never felt unable to do such a simple task that they feel ashamed about it? How can you not disappoint the person who has been expecting you do to this task for five days now and has repeatedly asked you for it? How can they not think you are procrastinating? How could they possibly know what it’s like simply do it wrong and not be able to get it right over and over and over again like it was a super complex math problem?
The more frustrated I get the worse it gets... How can I not feel frutration when I can see frustration and mostly disappointment in the other persons eyes? I can also see understanding and love and perhaps pity a lot of times... but I can definitely see the frustration of not being able to “count on me”, even though they can rely on me for a thousand other things that don’t require that simple stupid task I cannot do.
Just last month I did it all in an hour, no mistakes, no issues, no nothing bad.... this month I just can’t.
So yeah, maybe they really cannot rely and that makes me feel like shit.
Being bipolar does not make me useless, I just have to adapt to how my mental health is at a certain moment and do the tasks which are appropriate for that momento, and it sometimes that task is no task at all it’s okay, it’s part of the disorder and I can’t beat myself up for it... So instead of frustration and disappointment there should simply be understanding that every day is different, every month is different, that maybe it will change in a day, maybe in 5, maybe in a month or in 4, and there’s not much I can do about it because this is out of my control, and just accept that I will always be here and giving my best and my best has to be enough even when it’s very little because it’s all I have to give and nothing more, and I will always do everything I can, some times what I can do may not be what you need me to do then, but don’t be mad, it’s not my fault.
1 note
·
View note