anothersafeplanet - Tumblr blog

[anothersafeplanet]

Crazy to realise that maybe, the reason why I'm unable to forgive is because of the subconscious instinct that the decisions were wrong so I ended up faulting everything instead

[anothersafeplanet]

Heavy little heart.

Why were those memories still kept safe?

Why do I go that extra mile to make sure it's going to be there forever?

Were the decision i made really for the better or were they due to comfort?

If the "right" decisions were made instead, will I really be happy today? Or will I continue feeling this way.

[anothersafeplanet]

Qadr of Allah

Pretty wild ain't it? To sit here and think - what if? What if decisions have been done differently 4 years ago.

Well, it has been done anyway..... Allah has better plan. I'm sure.

Make it easy for me Ya Rabb. For your plans are better than mine.

[anothersafeplanet]

Happy 2022! It's a brand new year and as I sat in the room after countdown, something in me started sinking, really low. December ended on a high note MasyaAllah. I got back my results and did really well, I got back to back sales, went out with my friends and had a really good time with my family. However, I got triggered when my mom called me lazy for sleeping in the afternoon. It got me reminded of the feeling and it's called hate. And everything start collapsing right before me. It annoys me so much cause it took me so long to feel this positive. And just like that, everything crumbled down and here I am, putting things back into pieces.

I look at my child and feel my whole heart in my chest. Ya Allah, allow me to be that person who can be there for her. Allow me to be the friend she can count on. Please grant her with rezeki in terms of friends, job, health, and everything beneficial. For all my life, I hardly have anyone left. Ya Allah, thank you for your biggest blessing to have her and my husband. Thank you for substituting this wonderful person. Indeed you know best 🌼

[anothersafeplanet]

A Dose of Reminders

[anothersafeplanet]

The covid situation has been out of control in SG. tbh, I'm constantly worried for my child's health. Aside from the pandemic, there is so much going on around. I feel that people are just not happy anymore. You realise it or not, but, looking at the quality of news, the comments. COVID really is taking a toll on everyone's mind and I feel so sorry for those who are going through hardship right now. If only I have lots of money to go around. For now, I'm only giving what I can afford. Ya rabb, make it easy for me.

[anothersafeplanet]

“I want to talk about what happened without mentioning how much it hurt. There has to be a way. To care for the wounds without reopening them. To name the pain without inviting it back into me.”

— Lora Mathis, If There’s A Way Out I’ll Take It

[anothersafeplanet]

I was once very bitter at one of my friend's statement. He was questioning why Malays got married so fast. Just because he's Chinese, attending degree and living in Melbourne that is funded by his rich parents he got to say that to me? I got defensive and upset so I didn't want to talk to him for a very long time. I decided to let go of that anger today and finally talked to him again. I asked about him and he said he have been lonely and depressed. I immediately felt soo so bad for feeding on my anger all these while. Truly, you never know what someone is going through. It taught me so much about empathy today and that we should never ever hold on grudges.

[anothersafeplanet]

There's this one hit that I often listen to and I realised the lyric is so powerful. It goes a little something like this: "patah tumbuh hilang berganti, mengertilah"

It means that, when something breaks, it will grow into a better one and please understand that. The more I think about it, the more relieved I feel because it is indeed so true. Many friends left or rather I walked away on them. One thing I realised is that Allah truly replace that missing spot with a better one. Come to think of it, it has been a secret blessings all along. I got so much closer to my family and I'm able to focus on being a mom without feeling bad at all. Surely, Allah knows best. I know not 🤍 Alhamdulillah

[anothersafeplanet]

Emotional baggages

Sometimes, I wonder why I'm easily upset. After a long conversation with Mavis, it made me realised that all these while, I was carrying all these emotional baggages with me when I shouldn't. I disregard my own needs for fear what other people might feel or think. All these while I thought people were mean. After all, I realised, it all starts with me. People can't be mean if I don't allow them to. It's time for me to put myself first against others. Bismillah

[anothersafeplanet]

I will be okay. Maybe - just not today.

Don't you think that life is such a funny funny thing? We get hurt and disappointed umpteen times by the people we care about and yet, we still keep that glimpse of hope for them. We're still hopeful that maybe, just maybe - one day, this will all work out.

I sat down and look back on our memories together. What happened?

All the friendship that went wrong, for all the argument that left me and now I'm all alone.

[anothersafeplanet]

I wished I could be less sensitive. I wished I could feel less, think less. Ever wondered why I am so broken?

[anothersafeplanet]

Ugh

I have been so mad even watching women intentionally not working due to pregnancy?

Don't get me wrong. It's like good for you but oh god it's just so unfair. I remember risking life and having to tolerate my nonsensical job despite being heavily pregnant? Like, I'm just so mad cause I have to work my ass off while some people literally have that luxury to be at home all protected and spoiled while im out hussling and waddling about. Sigh. i shall just shrug it off. Oh how unfair 😔✊

[anothersafeplanet]

Away

Life is just so so funny. I'm exhausted and it's crazy to wish for my time to finally come where I can just go. Like girl, bye.

[anothersafeplanet]

All my worries went away the moment I first laid my eyes on you - and it never came back. God, you must have heard when I prayed. I'm glad she came along ❤️

[anothersafeplanet]

February 4, 4.29pm - I gave birth to our little angel who was 2.9kg. I'm a mother now. God, you must have heard when I prayed. You truly know what's best for me - at the right time and with the right person. Thank you Ya Allah. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah and Alhamdulillah 🌼❤️

[anothersafeplanet]

Even when it hurts for me, even after whatever you did that was unreasonable - may Allah still ease your pain. Allah knows, and I know not. May Allah be pleased with me, grant me strength, and sabr.