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anqelblccm · 7 months ago

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⊹˳⁺ ⠀⠀⠀ YOU’RE WATCHING : HERO READS THIRST TWEETS !

ib. : buzzfeed celebs thirst tweet videos !

final word count : 2.6k

warning(s) : fans thirsting, as usual. lmk if i missed anything else !

the video opens with hero sitting on a sleek black chair, the blue background glowing behind him. he’s dressed casually but fashionably: an oversized pink hoodie, ripped black jeans, and chunky sneakers. his hair is slightly tousled, and his playful smirk hints at the chaos that’s about to come. the camera cuts out, showing a clip of future tweets he will react to.

'i want hero to punch me in the face, but softly, so i can feel the touch of his hands while i die peacefully.'

“softly?!” he exclaims, flexing to the camera, “my hands are registered as weapons of mass destruction in five countries.” his playful tone adds a touch of humour to the reaction, entertaining the audience.

the camera cuts off again before he can say anything else.

'hero could run me over with a car, and i’d thank him while handing over my life savings... just saying!'

“run you over? with a car? me? do i give off those vibes?” his voice comes out genuinely surprised, and he tilts his head to the side. the flashcard he was given slips from his hand, and he flinches down to pick it up, “oh fu–”

another cut and it’s officially the start of the video.

“hi, i’m hero, and today i’m here with buzzfeed to read your thirst tweets,” he waves to the camera, “now i’ve been warned… and frankly, i’m scared out of my wits. let’s dive into this pool of thirst!” he picks up the first tweet from the pile, dramatically unfolding it like a top-secret government document.

“i actually like going on tiktok to look for my edits because i know there’s always going to be thirsty fans in the comments,” hero says, laughing as he explained, “i mean, i recently found one edit where the comments were just off the wall. first time i saw people as thirsty as that, and i’m baffled.”

the camera zooms on his face, “are you guys okay out there?”

it goes back to normal as he reads out the first tweet.

'i can’t tell if hero is a heavenly angel or a demonic chaos goblin, but either way, i’d let him destroy my life.'

hero immediately starts laughing, almost falling back in his chair. “ah, you got me! i’m actually both. a chaotic angel, if you will.” he smirks knowingly, adjusting his imaginary halo. “but don’t blame me when your life turns into a k-drama. i can’t control what happens next.” as he mimics holding a halo above his head, he suddenly lets it 'fall' to the ground.

“oops, there goes my angelic streak,” he says with a monotone voice.

he picks up the second card and giggles, “okay, this one is pretty mild, but it goes: ‘hero could say the most random word, and i’d melt into a puddle of goo. try it. say potato, i dare you.’” taking up the challenge, he smirks mischievously, leaning closer to the camera as it zooms on his face. the audio quiets down as he whispers 'potato' dramatically. immediately after, he bursts into laughter, shaking his head.

“y’all out here falling for that? do you want me to start a podcast where i just list vegetables and fruits? ‘cause i’ll do it.”

the following tweet comes immediately after, and hero grasps it with both hands.

'every time hero posts a new photo, my standards go higher, and my will to live plummets. is that what they call balance?'

he clutches the tweet like a love letter to his chest, looking mockingly emotional.

“wow,” he mutters, “the duality of this tweet is… raising your standards but losing your will to live? that’s so poetic. i might put this in my next album.” turning up the dramatics, he pretends to write in an imaginary notebook, mouthing the words 'balance, standard, plummets.'

he then fake-nods like a motivational speaker. “life is all about balance. raise your standards, but don’t forget to lower your expectations for me in real life. i’m a mess.” he says the last sentence as he throws the card behind him.

finally, the tweet from the start of the video shows up, and the sentence is shown again: 'hero could run me over with a car, and i’d thank him while handing over my life savings… just saying!'

hero stares at the card, blinking. the silence is loud at that moment. then he slowly lowers it, looking directly into the camera. “run you over? with a car? me? do i give off those vibes?” his voice comes out genuinely surprised, and he tilts his head to the side. the flashcard he was given slips from his hand, and he flinches down to pick it up, “oh fu–”. after the clip cuts off, he is returned to his seat, clutching his chest. “do i look like a dangerous person!?”

he pauses for a beat, then leans conspiratorially, “okay, maybe a little. but only if the car is a tesla– eco-friendly death only.”

'hero’s smile has the power to cure depression. i want it injected into my veins immediately.'

at the tweet, he grins wide, exaggerating the brightness of his smile. “you want this?” the smile stays on his face, yet his eyes widen a little, and if you look closely, it might remind you of the movie smile. “injected, really? that’s a lot of pressure!”

he suddenly puts on a serious, doctor-like expression (pushing his imaginary glasses and everything), pretending to write a prescription. “take one smile thrice daily, but beware of side effects. they may include thirst, obsession and uncontrollable laughter.”

'hero, please step on me. no explanation is needed. just do it, king.'

his eyes widen, and he physically recoils from the tweet, letting it fall on the floor. “step on you!? are you… okay?” his expression shows concern, but his eyes also have a teasing glint. “do you need water? a hug? therapy, maybe!?”

he lifts his foot slightly, showing off the chunky bottom and playfully pointing at it, “listen, i’ve got big feet, and the shoes are thick today. i’m doing this for your safety.” he nervously laughs. “also, this is why i don’t read my dms.”

'i could watch hero breathe for hours and still think it’s the most attractive thing i’ve ever seen. like he could inhale, and i’d disintegrate like thanos snapped his fingers.'

he does an exaggerated breathing demonstration, snapping his fingers as he says, “is it working for you? are you disintegrating, or do i need to do it again?” he rambles at this point, “goodbye, half of my fandom. it’s been real.” he laughs, shaking his head.

“maybe i should start a podcast for that too. call it ‘sleeping with hero’.” as soon as he said that, the realisation was shown on his face, “actually, no, i take it back! don’t you dare put this clip in the video!” he panics, grabbing his face, and the words ‘(we did.)’ show up in that second.

'hero is the human embodiment of i can fix him, but let’s be honest, i’m the one who needs fixing.' he immediately points at the camera, “you’re right, i am unfixable. but i’m available for emotional support… maybe. only if there’s food involved– not in that way, you perverts!” hero quickly blurts out as there’s laughing behind the camera.

'hero, i just know you smell good. like expensive cologne and heartbreak. drop the name of your scent, please!'

he leans back, flipping his short hair, “expensive cologne and heartbreak? i’ll take it. also, my scent is called ‘mind your business by hero.’” a laugh quickly comes out of him, and he has to take a natural breath to continue, “but for real, it’s probably just my laundry detergent. shout out to my washing machine,” he clicks his fingers and winks to the camera.

'if hero ever stood on my neck, i’d thank him for the honour and ask for an encore.'

he dramatically gasps, holding his neck as if he can physically feel it. “why are y’all so violent!?” standing up from his chair, his arms fly around as he gets deep into the tweet. “standing on your neck!? what did your neck ever do to you?”

he pauses and sits down, squinting at the camera, “also, what does an encore even look like in this situation? do i step off and then step back on? i need answers.” he’s far deep now.

'i don’t want hero to be my boyfriend. i want him to be my enemy so we can have dramatic tension and eventually fall in love in a slow-burn romance.'

hero places the card down slowly, giving the camera an impressed look. “i mean, i mentioned k-drama moments just now, but this takes the top.” he looks down at the tweet again, “whoever wrote this has been watching way too many shows. but honestly?” he leans towards the camera, “you’ve got me intrigued now. what’s the plot? where’s the script? i need a sixteen-episode outline on my desk by tomorrow.”

“and it better be good,” he playfully threatens.

'the way hero’s jawline could cut through steel… sir, are you aware you’re a weapon of mass destruction?'

he touches his jaw dramatically at the question, pretending to cut himself on its sharpness, “a weapon of mass destruction? so, just like my muscles?” he flexes again, but it’s not noticeable because of the hoodie.

“don’t worry,” he leans in, “i’m only dangerous if you’re… weak.” he bursts into laughter, waving his hands. “i can’t even say that with a straight face!”

'hero’s hands look like they belong on an album cover. can he just hold my entire existence instead?'

he holds up his hands, wiggling his fingers, “these hands? album-cover hands? i mean, thank you, but also, you really trust me with your existence?” he pauses, staring at his hands thoughtfully, “but i’ll consider it if i ever release a ‘holding your existence’ concept album.”

'if hero doesn’t personally ruin my life by 2025, i’ll file a complaint with the universe.'

he snorts, barely containing his laughter, “the universe has a complaints department? what’s the number? i need to call them about my life too.” he mocks a serious expression, “also, ruining lives is a big responsibility. can i start small, like misplacing your phone charger? or if you can come to my concert, the tickets for my world tour will go live soon, then i will ruin your life!” he shamelessly promotes, winking to the camera.

'i bet hero’s the type to steal your hoodie and look better than you ever could. and i’m okay with that.'

he laughs, nodding with the tweet as he pinches at the shoulder of his hoodie, “okay, first of all, facts. i will look better in it. second, don’t let me near your closet because i’m not just stealing hoodies– i’m taking the whole wardrobe.”

'hero’s thighs could crush watermelons, and honestly, i’m volunteering to be the watermelon!'

hero freezes, face in his hands, as he tries not to laugh. “y’all? a watermelon!? is this where we are now? i don’t even work out that much!” ‘(that’s a lie.)’ is shown on the screen as he stands up, pretending to flex his legs. “but thank you for the confidence boost. i’ll be thinking about this every leg day now.”

'hero could tell me my haircut looks like a mop, and i’d thank him for noticing.'

he reads the tweet twice, blinking in disbelief, “first of all, your haircut doesn’t look like a mop… probably. second, why are y’all thanking me for hypothetical insults? should i just start roasting everyone?” he pretends to scold the camera, “your socks don’t match. you look tired; you drink too much iced coffee.”

satisfied, he leans back in the chair, laughing, “okay, i’m done. you are wild.”

'i want hero to dropkick me into the sun, and i’ll thank him for the free vacation.'

“dropkick you into the sun? i mean, i appreciate the faith in me.” he pretends to stretch his legs, “also, free vacation? you’re not coming back from that, bestie. permanent vacation.”

'if hero sneezed in my direction, i’d frame the germs and hang them on my wall like art.'

at the tweet, he recoils back, holding up the card like it’s contaminated. “what… what is wrong with you!? germs!? framed!?” his eyes widened, and people behind the camera laughed at the horrified expression on his face. it takes him a minute to calm down, and he quickly blurts a joke, “going to name it ‘the microbial series’. limited edition, of course.”

he buries his face in his hands, dying of laughter, “i’m actually speechless.”

'i’d let hero kick me down the stairs if it meant he’d look at me once.'

he stands up dramatically again. “why am i always committing crimes in these tweets!? kicking you down the stairs? are you guys okay!?” he pretends to look guilty, kneeling, “i’m sorry for what i haven’t done. please, stay away from stairs if i’m around.”

'if hero ever did a shirtless photoshoot, i’d probably lose my job for looking at it during work hours, but it’d be worth it.'

as soon as he read the tweet, he pretended to lift his hoodie, showing off a glimpse of his slim stomach and waist, before stopping abruptly. “nope, not today!” he lets out a ‘tsk’, playfully shaking his head. “you’re keeping that job, okay? hustle first, thirst later.”

“also, who’s leaking these imaginary photoshoots? i need answers.” he says to the staff behind the camera.

'the way hero moves his hips during performances should be illegal in at least twelve countries.'

he spins in his chair as he hums, “twelve countries!? name them, i need to know where i’m banned– wait, but can that happen after my world tour? like, this is my first one, i need to make it count, if you know what i mean.” he trails off but quickly snaps back, “but hey, can’t say i didn’t warn you. blame the choreography, not me.”

'i want him to take that belt from bless my heart and choke me with it.'

“oh woah, woah woah! you’re stepping into some dangerous territory!” he yelps out, looking completely baffled at the tweet. “wait, who is this? can i say the username?” he asks the staff again, and with their confirmation, he reads it. “‘lesbian4hero’– now wait a minute… i remember this username!” he points to the camera like he’s phoenix from ace attorney, “yah! don’t think i forgot your little comment on tiktok, and yes, i do remember it.”

that was the last tweet because hero grabbed each flash card and threw them into the air before leaning into the camera with wide eyes and a big grin. “you know, i thought i was prepared for chaos, but y’all have proven me wrong on every level. thank you for breaking me and making me question all my life choices.”

he quickly mutters, “i don’t know if i should feel flattered or file a restraining order, but i love you anyway. keep being weird– i thrive on it. but drink water and behave, okay?”

he flashes one last cheeky grin, winks at the camera and leans back in his chair dramatically, “buzzfeed, thank you for making me read this madness, but get me out of here before i lose my own mind. bye, everyone!”

the outro quickly plays a montage of his reactions, and then the screen fades to black with the text: 'catch hero on his upcoming world tour– where no watermelons will be harmed!' the sound of hero still laughing can be heard despite the video almost ending, and fans are left desperately refreshing for the replay.

#icymi <33

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