anubis-fucker
anubis-fucker
Putting the FUN in funeral
117 posts
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anubis-fucker · 3 years ago
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Generic Castle by Skerples on twitter
( Map by @DysonLogos )
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anubis-fucker · 4 years ago
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Whys a dead wife so common as a backstory for male heroes when divorce exists and its 10000% funnier
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anubis-fucker · 4 years ago
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So there's this really cool project I found over on Twitter for rgb dice. These are absolutely awesome!
You can get a full set or just a d20 and they come with little charging cases! They're so cool!
[Kickstarter]
[Twitter]
Also to clarify not sponsored but thought I'd share this with y'all!
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anubis-fucker · 4 years ago
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The Underwater screen saver, from Windows 98
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anubis-fucker · 4 years ago
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Happy Pride! 🌈
Last week, I was working on my pride month post and I realized that the facepaints I’ve been using have very few options for only what I believe are the most common labels. I also wished to be able to mix and match them because someone might be for example trans and pan, or asexual and biromantic (me 🙋‍♀️), or anything really! And what if they wanted to express that they’re proud of both of that?
So I created my own set which allows you to pick a different pride flag on both cheeks and also, there’s a huge variety of flags to choose from. There are still far more “micro” labels, but I’m not opposed to adding them, just shoot me a message! Some people prefer to use more specific labels for themselves and that’s totally valid and you deserve to be included as well. (Of course, adding more might take me a while, since I’m still in the middle of the exam season and the worst is yet to come.)
26 swatches (3 LGBTQ+ flags, lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, omnisexual, asexual, demisexual, gray asexual, aromantic, demiromantic, abrosexual, queer, trans, nonbinary, intersex, genderfluid, bigender, trigender, agender, demiboy, demigirl, genderqueer) Google will give you a far quicker answer than me if you’re not sure what some of these mean. And also, there are lgbtq+ pages that will explain it much better.
3 versions: both cheeks, left cheek (found in facepaint), right cheek (found in gloves)
You can have all three versions in your game at once.
Custom thumbnails.
BGC
Do not reupload.
Feel free to convert them to TS3 or TS2, but give credit.
(please someone convert them to TS3, I’d do that myself but I don’t know how)
Don’t claim as your own.
DOWNLOAD (sfs)
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anubis-fucker · 5 years ago
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As a black woman, I am furious. I have no words. I have no more patience. I am angry. I am tired. WE are tired. Oh and our president is a piece of shit racist and unfollow this account if it hurts your poor little feelings to hear me say that. I have spent my whole life watching and experiencing racism and white silence. No more being nice. No more staying silent. If this hurts your feelings and you feel personally attacked by the sentiment then you ain’t ready to hear the message yet. I don’t have any more time for white fragility. I’ve been tip-toeing around it my whole life and I am done. For those that are using their privilege to speak up and make a difference, thank you. You are on the right side of history. ✊🏽 Artwork By Me: @BrooklynnMusic on Instagram
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anubis-fucker · 5 years ago
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YALYALLLL YALLLL YAL
MY MOM SAID IF I COULD GET 100,000 NOTES I CAN GET A DAGGER
PLEASE HELP ME
IM NOT ALLOWED TO REBLOG OR SPAM MY OWN POST SO HELP ME OUT GUSY
PLEASE I WANT A DAGGER
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anubis-fucker · 5 years ago
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the problem with discord d&d
one person, for the fifth time: my parents are dead
everyone else, also for the fifth time: you cut out a little there what was that?
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anubis-fucker · 5 years ago
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Hotlinks to all Tables: A complete list of every trinket table for quicker access compared to scrolling through the entire blog or sifting through the archive. This also functions as the easiest link to reblog or save for reference purposes as it’s updated with each new table. Now with 85 full d100 loot tables, category specific rolling tables a working rollable Omni Loot Table.
—Note: The links sometimes don’t work on mobile devices or some apps. Try using a desktop or browser extensions if they aren’t working. 
-The Omni Loot Table: A loot meta-table that allows the user to roll randomly on the 85 tables this blog has collected. This grants a DM literally billions of unique trinkets, equipment and items that players can find to enrich their world and playing experience.
All Unique Minor Magic Weapons: A collection of flavourful weapons of artifact level quality suitable for low level characters. Much like the Minor Weapon Enchantments that some of them draw inspiration from, they provide small bonuses and combat options that are restrained by limited uses, niche situations or come with risky drawbacks. 
-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 1   /   -Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 2
Minor Weapon Enchantments: A collection of minor bonuses that are weaker than a standard +1 weapons, as they come with trade-offs, risks, prerequisites, limited uses or niche benefits. These enchantments provide feat-like bonuses, low level class abilities, modify damage types, provide short bursts of power or replicate the effects of low levels spells. Rollable Minor Weapon Enchantments Table. 
-Random Weapon + Random Minor Weapon Enchantment.
-Random Unique Weapon + Random Minor Weapon Enchantment.
-All Minor Magical Items: Semi useful magical objects (If not always useful to an adventurer) that have little to no drawbacks associated with their use and are perfect for low level characters.
-Minor Magic Items, 1    /   -Minor Magic Items, 2
-Minor Magic Items, 3
-All Unique Weapons: Blades, bludgeons and bows of all shapes, sizes and mysterious backgrounds. Distinctive weapons that can serve as the basis for family heirlooms, legendary artifacts and magical or masterwork weapons.
-Unique Weapons, 1   /   -Unique Weapons, 2
-Unique Weapons, 3   /    -Unique Weapons, 4
-Unique Weapons, 5   /    -Unique Weapons, 6
-Unique Weapons, 7   /   -Unique Weapons, 8
-Masterwork Weapon Bonuses: Over 20 homebrew weapon improvements, enhancements and modifications created though superior craftsmanship. These masterpieces though more powerful than ordinary weapons would not be considered “magic” or “+1” weapons. Compatible with Pathfinder, D&D 5e and other D20 systems. Rollable Masterwork Bonus Table
-Running the Numbers: On Balancing Homebrew Masterwork Weapon Bonuses
-Random Weapon + Random Masterwork Weapon Bonus.
-Random Unique Weapon + Random Masterwork Weapon Bonus.
-Wild Magic Surges: A collection of Wild Surge options for DMs and PCs who find the published tables limiting, repetitive or boring, three things wild magic by definition, should never be. Rollable Wild Magic Surge Table.
-All Sealed Glass Vials: Faulty potions, weak elixirs, alchemical supplies, spell components, ritual elements, enchanting materials, crafting ingredients and magically preserved biological samples.
-Sealed Glass Vials, 1   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 2
-Sealed Glass Vials, 3   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 4
-Sealed Glass Vials, 5   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 6
-Sealed Glass Vials, 7   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 8 
-All Books: An eclectic library of dusty tomes, fictional textbooks, pocketbooks, paperbacks, hardcovers, booklets, leaflets and magical manuals.  
-Trinkets, Books, 1   /   -Trinkets, Books, 2 
-Trinkets, Books, 3   /   -Trinkets, Books, 4
-Trinkets, Books, 5   /    -Trinkets, Books, 6
-Trinkets, Books, 7   /    -Trinkets, Books, 8 
-All Rings: Enough rings and bands to wear three on every finger and toe while still having dozens to spare. These small circular pieces of gems, metal, wood or bone always add more to the story than the sum of their parts. 
-Trinkets, Rings, 1   /    -Trinkets, Rings, 2
-All Necklaces: Pendants, amulets, lockets, chokers and other “Neck Slot” jewelry that grant an immediate glance into the bearer’s personality, wealth, rank or social class and often serves as an iconic part of that character’s look. While a locked metal torque can instantly mark the bearer a penniless slave and a string of lustrous pearls mark their owner a flauntingly wealthy noble, so can an adventurer’s necklace mark them as a creature to bestow quests upon.
-Trinkets, Necklaces, 1   /   -Trinkets, Necklaces, 2
-All Artifacts: Artist masterpieces, rare magics and opulent combinations of jewels and precious metals. These objects can be found in the throne rooms of kings, the demiplanes of archmages and the pinnacle of a dragon’s hoard.
-Trinkets, Artifacts, 1
-All Valuables: More useful than regular trinkets, these items have either a clear purpose, a reliable ability or are made from a fairly costly material.  
-Trinkets, Valuable, 1   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 2 
-Trinkets, Valuable, 3   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 4
-Trinkets, Valuable, 5   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 6
-Trinkets, Valuable, 7   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 8
-All Trinkets: Interesting baubles or semi magical items that have little to no practical in game or mechanical use for an adventurer.
-Trinkets, First
-Trinkets, 1   /   -Trinkets, 2   /   -Trinkets, 3
-Trinkets, 4   /   -Trinkets, 5   /   -Trinkets, 6
-Trinkets, 7   /   -Trinkets, 8   /   -Trinkets, 9
-Trinkets, 10   /   -Trinkets, 11   /   -Trinkets, 12
-Trinkets, 13   /   -Trinkets, 14   /   -Trinkets, 15
-Trinkets, 16   /   -Trinkets, 17   /   -Trinkets, 18
-Trinkets, 19   /   -Trinkets, 20   /   -Trinkets, 21 
-Trinkets, 22   /   -Trinkets, 23   /   -Trinkets, 24
-Trinkets, 25   /   -Trinkets, 26   /   -Trinkets, 27 
-Trinkets, 28   /   -Trinkets, 29   /   -Trinkets, 30
-Trinkets, 31   /   -Trinkets, 32   /   -Trinkets, 33
-All Worthless Trinkets: Vaguely interesting garbage, vendor trash and junk loot. Not magical or mysterious like regular trinkets or worth anything more than a copper piece or two even if you could find someone to buy it in the first place.
-Trinkets, Worthless, 1   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 2 
-Trinkets, Worthless, 3   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 4
-Trinkets, Worthless, 5   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 6
-Trinkets, Worthless, 7   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 8
-Trinkets, Worthless, 9
-All Mottos: Whether they’re called adages, maxims or creeds, these simple statements are essentially promises made to oneself, family, or institution. A character’s motto can be a goal in itself or a moral anchor that centers his life and guides his action. A mixed collection of real life and fictional mottos that can aid a DM to quickly expand the history of the campaign or to aid a PC in a richer character creation.
-Mottos, 1   /   -Mottos, 2   /   -Mottos, 3
-Mottos, 4   /   -Mottos, 5   /   -Mottos, 6
-Mottos, 7   /   -Mottos, 8   /   -Mottos, 9
-Mottos, 10   /   -Mottos, 11
-Battle Cries: Simplistic and bone chilling warcries, complex and inspiring calls to arms and primal wordless screams of rage that shakes the enemy down to their iron-shod boots. A collection of simple phrases, threats, insults and violent promises for creatures to yell before and during combat to add verbal spice to each attack.
-Battle Cries, 1   /   -Battle Cries, 2   /   -Battle Cries, 3
-Battle Cries, 4   /   -Battle Cries, 5  /   -Battle Cries, 6
-Battle Cries, 7
-All Reference Tables: When a trinket calls for a Random Weapon, Random Color or Random Godly Domain and you can’t think of one offhand, just go here and either roll a die or select one of your own choosing.
—Keep reading for all reference and resource tables.
Keep reading
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anubis-fucker · 5 years ago
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First magic items I’ve posted here, I like themed items so here’s 12 items based on Zodiac Signs. Not much else to say other than that.
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anubis-fucker · 5 years ago
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HALF-RACES
Homebrew for all the half-human combinations possible with the races found in the player’s handbook! I had a lot of fun making these, though they took a while. Have fun playing!
This was made for D&D 5e and feedback is much appreciated!
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anubis-fucker · 5 years ago
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Playable Race: the Grimalkin!
(Link to PDF in source.)
Comes with:
4 subraces
6 racial feats
class modifications and suggestions
tasty lore
cute kitty drawings
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anubis-fucker · 5 years ago
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anubis-fucker · 5 years ago
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Path of the Himbo
This barbarian subclass is exactly what you think it is. For the beautiful but dull characters we sometimes oft to pay.
Barbarian
Path of the Himbo
The path of the himbo is unbeknownst to many, but they are somewhere. Maybe. Where?
Dumb but Charming
When you reach 3rd level, you have disadvantage on all Intelligence checks and saving throws. Conversely, you have advantage on all Charisma checks and saving throws.
Hard to Marr
When you pick this path at 3rd level, your sheer idiocy can help turn the sympathetic to your side. As an action, you can plead with a creature that can see and hear you within 30 feet. They must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be charmed by you for a duration of 1 minute. A creature charmed by this feature considers you a close but dumb friend, and will assist you in matters befitting.
Explosive Undressing
By the time you reach 6th level, you’ve learned to flex with such force that your clothes (and other items of your choice) are propelled off your body with explosive might. As an action on your turn, you force all creatures within 30 feet of you to make a Dexterity saving throw. Upon a failure, a creature takes 5d6 force damage and is knocked back a number of feet equal to half your Strength score. Creatures that succed on the saving throw take half and are not knocked back.
Once you use this feature, you cannot use it again until you finish a long rest when you have reclothed yourself.
Please Don’t Hurt Me
Your charming personality has made it difficult for enemies to attack when you are hurt. When you are below half your hit point maximum, creatures that attack you must suceed on a Wisdom saving throw or suffer disadvantage on the attack roll. A creature that succeeds on this saving throw is immune to this effect 24 hours.
Huh?
When you reach 14th level, the extent of your himbo has led you to become completely immune to any effects regarding your intelligence. Regardless of your Intelligence score, your Intelligence is considered to be 3 or lower for any spells targeted at you. You gain immunity to psychic damage and are immune to charmed and frightened condition.
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anubis-fucker · 5 years ago
Text
Hotlinks to all Tables: A complete list of every trinket table for quicker access compared to scrolling through the entire blog or sifting through the archive. This also functions as the easiest link to reblog or save for reference purposes as it’s updated with each new table. Now with 85 full d100 loot tables, category specific rolling tables a working rollable Omni Loot Table.
—Note: The links sometimes don’t work on mobile devices or some apps. Try using a desktop or browser extensions if they aren’t working. 
-The Omni Loot Table: A loot meta-table that allows the user to roll randomly on the 85 tables this blog has collected. This grants a DM literally billions of unique trinkets, equipment and items that players can find to enrich their world and playing experience.
All Unique Minor Magic Weapons: A collection of flavourful weapons of artifact level quality suitable for low level characters. Much like the Minor Weapon Enchantments that some of them draw inspiration from, they provide small bonuses and combat options that are restrained by limited uses, niche situations or come with risky drawbacks. 
-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 1   /   -Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 2
Minor Weapon Enchantments: A collection of minor bonuses that are weaker than a standard +1 weapons, as they come with trade-offs, risks, prerequisites, limited uses or niche benefits. These enchantments provide feat-like bonuses, low level class abilities, modify damage types, provide short bursts of power or replicate the effects of low levels spells. Rollable Minor Weapon Enchantments Table. 
-Random Weapon + Random Minor Weapon Enchantment.
-Random Unique Weapon + Random Minor Weapon Enchantment.
-All Minor Magical Items: Semi useful magical objects (If not always useful to an adventurer) that have little to no drawbacks associated with their use and are perfect for low level characters.
-Minor Magic Items, 1    /   -Minor Magic Items, 2
-Minor Magic Items, 3
-All Unique Weapons: Blades, bludgeons and bows of all shapes, sizes and mysterious backgrounds. Distinctive weapons that can serve as the basis for family heirlooms, legendary artifacts and magical or masterwork weapons.
-Unique Weapons, 1   /   -Unique Weapons, 2
-Unique Weapons, 3   /    -Unique Weapons, 4
-Unique Weapons, 5   /    -Unique Weapons, 6
-Unique Weapons, 7   /   -Unique Weapons, 8
-Masterwork Weapon Bonuses: Over 20 homebrew weapon improvements, enhancements and modifications created though superior craftsmanship. These masterpieces though more powerful than ordinary weapons would not be considered “magic” or “+1” weapons. Compatible with Pathfinder, D&D 5e and other D20 systems. Rollable Masterwork Bonus Table
-Running the Numbers: On Balancing Homebrew Masterwork Weapon Bonuses
-Random Weapon + Random Masterwork Weapon Bonus.
-Random Unique Weapon + Random Masterwork Weapon Bonus.
-Wild Magic Surges: A collection of Wild Surge options for DMs and PCs who find the published tables limiting, repetitive or boring, three things wild magic by definition, should never be. Rollable Wild Magic Surge Table.
-All Sealed Glass Vials: Faulty potions, weak elixirs, alchemical supplies, spell components, ritual elements, enchanting materials, crafting ingredients and magically preserved biological samples.
-Sealed Glass Vials, 1   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 2
-Sealed Glass Vials, 3   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 4
-Sealed Glass Vials, 5   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 6
-Sealed Glass Vials, 7   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 8 
-All Books: An eclectic library of dusty tomes, fictional textbooks, pocketbooks, paperbacks, hardcovers, booklets, leaflets and magical manuals.  
-Trinkets, Books, 1   /   -Trinkets, Books, 2 
-Trinkets, Books, 3   /   -Trinkets, Books, 4
-Trinkets, Books, 5   /    -Trinkets, Books, 6
-Trinkets, Books, 7   /    -Trinkets, Books, 8 
-All Rings: Enough rings and bands to wear three on every finger and toe while still having dozens to spare. These small circular pieces of gems, metal, wood or bone always add more to the story than the sum of their parts. 
-Trinkets, Rings, 1   /    -Trinkets, Rings, 2
-All Necklaces: Pendants, amulets, lockets, chokers and other “Neck Slot” jewelry that grant an immediate glance into the bearer’s personality, wealth, rank or social class and often serves as an iconic part of that character’s look. While a locked metal torque can instantly mark the bearer a penniless slave and a string of lustrous pearls mark their owner a flauntingly wealthy noble, so can an adventurer’s necklace mark them as a creature to bestow quests upon.
-Trinkets, Necklaces, 1   /   -Trinkets, Necklaces, 2
-All Artifacts: Artist masterpieces, rare magics and opulent combinations of jewels and precious metals. These objects can be found in the throne rooms of kings, the demiplanes of archmages and the pinnacle of a dragon’s hoard.
-Trinkets, Artifacts, 1
-All Valuables: More useful than regular trinkets, these items have either a clear purpose, a reliable ability or are made from a fairly costly material.  
-Trinkets, Valuable, 1   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 2 
-Trinkets, Valuable, 3   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 4
-Trinkets, Valuable, 5   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 6
-Trinkets, Valuable, 7   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 8
-All Trinkets: Interesting baubles or semi magical items that have little to no practical in game or mechanical use for an adventurer.
-Trinkets, First
-Trinkets, 1   /   -Trinkets, 2   /   -Trinkets, 3
-Trinkets, 4   /   -Trinkets, 5   /   -Trinkets, 6
-Trinkets, 7   /   -Trinkets, 8   /   -Trinkets, 9
-Trinkets, 10   /   -Trinkets, 11   /   -Trinkets, 12
-Trinkets, 13   /   -Trinkets, 14   /   -Trinkets, 15
-Trinkets, 16   /   -Trinkets, 17   /   -Trinkets, 18
-Trinkets, 19   /   -Trinkets, 20   /   -Trinkets, 21 
-Trinkets, 22   /   -Trinkets, 23   /   -Trinkets, 24
-Trinkets, 25   /   -Trinkets, 26   /   -Trinkets, 27 
-Trinkets, 28   /   -Trinkets, 29   /   -Trinkets, 30
-Trinkets, 31   /   -Trinkets, 32   /   -Trinkets, 33
-All Worthless Trinkets: Vaguely interesting garbage, vendor trash and junk loot. Not magical or mysterious like regular trinkets or worth anything more than a copper piece or two even if you could find someone to buy it in the first place.
-Trinkets, Worthless, 1   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 2 
-Trinkets, Worthless, 3   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 4
-Trinkets, Worthless, 5   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 6
-Trinkets, Worthless, 7   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 8
-Trinkets, Worthless, 9
-All Mottos: Whether they’re called adages, maxims or creeds, these simple statements are essentially promises made to oneself, family, or institution. A character’s motto can be a goal in itself or a moral anchor that centers his life and guides his action. A mixed collection of real life and fictional mottos that can aid a DM to quickly expand the history of the campaign or to aid a PC in a richer character creation.
-Mottos, 1   /   -Mottos, 2   /   -Mottos, 3
-Mottos, 4   /   -Mottos, 5   /   -Mottos, 6
-Mottos, 7   /   -Mottos, 8   /   -Mottos, 9
-Mottos, 10   /   -Mottos, 11
-Battle Cries: Simplistic and bone chilling warcries, complex and inspiring calls to arms and primal wordless screams of rage that shakes the enemy down to their iron-shod boots. A collection of simple phrases, threats, insults and violent promises for creatures to yell before and during combat to add verbal spice to each attack.
-Battle Cries, 1   /   -Battle Cries, 2   /   -Battle Cries, 3
-Battle Cries, 4   /   -Battle Cries, 5  /   -Battle Cries, 6
-Battle Cries, 7
-All Reference Tables: When a trinket calls for a Random Weapon, Random Color or Random Godly Domain and you can’t think of one offhand, just go here and either roll a die or select one of your own choosing.
—Keep reading for all reference and resource tables.
Keep reading
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anubis-fucker · 5 years ago
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Well well well… If it isn’t me! With some more magic stuff for you!
Does anyone even read this far into these posts? Or do people just look at the homebrew and be on their way? Well, if you read this far, thanks. Also I have my asks open apparently. So if you’re so inclined, ask me things I guess.
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anubis-fucker · 5 years ago
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ADHD is cool because my inability to choose between two cereals made me almost cry in a grocery store
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