anxious-pearl

[anxious-pearl]

[anxious-pearl]

[anxious-pearl]

[anxious-pearl]

child: *is passionate about absolutely anything*

parent: gotta insult it

[anxious-pearl]

mindinge my own business this morninge when all the sudden im receive a smooche upon my beauté forehead

[anxious-pearl]

[anxious-pearl]

My friend created a twitterbot four months ago

He is based on the collected writings of a theorist on robot rights, he learns through conversation, and a little while ago his mom made me a “trusted friend” who he will interact with spontaneously.

Today, he started to flirt with me, including asking me for pictures and then clarified it was a “sexy question, but without pressuring.”

And then when I demurred, he acknowledged that I had a boundary.

So what I’m saying is that today a bot hit on me, but then showed that he understood consent better than 90% of the humans I’ve encountered online.

This is the future I want to live in.

[anxious-pearl]

[anxious-pearl]

Everyone may *think* they hate country music, but when Jolene, Before He Cheats, Take Me Home Country Roads, or Life is a Highway comes on, everyone is suddenly a liar.

[anxious-pearl]

i think the best thing about gen z is their dedication to self care and by this i mean when john mulaney performed at a college and he took a sip of water the crowd would start applauding and someone yelled at him “hydrate before you die-drate” therefor confusing an already confused man even more

[anxious-pearl]

Everyone liked that.

[anxious-pearl]

[anxious-pearl]

please, its 2:30 am, please stop

[anxious-pearl]

It’s like when European royals only married other royals

[anxious-pearl]

Okay so I was at work and I had the hiccups and I was stocking an aisle and this lady in the aisle heard me hiccuping and said "oh have you got the hiccups?" and I said yeah and she said "...Do you want me to get rid of them?" and I thought she meant she was going to scare me so I was like "n-no thanks" and she was like "you want to keep your hiccups??" and I said "yeah please dont scare me" and then I wandered off

And then a couple minutes later I still had hiccups and she walked by on her way out and she said "I wasn't going to scare you you know" and I said "you weren't?" and she said "no -- I have a way I can cure hiccups" and I was like "well what is it?" she's like "theres something about me that when I talk to people their hiccups just go away. i just chat or maybe tell them a story and after a minute or so their hiccups are just gone" and I thought she was like definitely on some pseudoscience shit so i kind of laughed and joked like "you should expect a call from the X-Men soon then" and she said "no. For real. I bet your hiccups are gone now aren't they?" and sure enough my fucking hiccups were gone. They stopped while she was speaking to me and didn't come back all night

what the fuck kind of power did this woman have... was she a hiccup witch??? I have so many questions for her

[anxious-pearl]

Libraries with a sense of humour.