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[anya-russiandoll]

Everything was new and unfamiliar for Anastasia. It was the first time that she had even left Russia and she was completely overwhelmed. The Palace of Sardinia was somewhere one could easily be lost, and now was no exception. Anya looked around her in complete distress, very aware that the person she had been expected to meet would be frustrated. It had taken the woman far too long to realise she was going the wrong way, and now she was completely lost. Anya saw someone walking past and quickly moved to greet them. “Excuse me, I am so sorry to bother you, but I am afraid that I am very lost. I was in search of the Northern courtyard…” She trailed off, the shy woman biting down on her lower lip.  

[anya-russiandoll]

paledhorses·:

“prepare for war and hope for peace.” he recites what his father used to say to him when he was younger. darius listens, chuckling at her words, his tone when he speaks is kind and warm, “you should be allowed to marry who you wish, my dear. to deny such right is tragic.” it’s not truly how he feels, but russia is a bordering neighbor of his own country. to gain the favor of anastasia could mean ease of relations in the future when he assumes the throne. he shakes his head, “i wish,” he sighs, seemingly sad, “i have had prospects but we have never been able to marry. my sister was married, though she has long since passed.”

“That is wisdom.” Anya agreed softly, giving her head a slight nod. After so long trying to find her way and develop her own ideas, hearing such a senior adviser to a king share those ideas gave her a flash of confidence. Perhaps she was able to become more versed in politics than she realised. “I do wish so, however, that is not the life of us, is it not? We marry to secure alliances, new borders. Trade deals. Love is...rare.” Her own father had married her mother for that, a way to secure a vast family’s holdings and money. It was not uncommon to marry for other reasons besides love and it was all she knew. “That is also quite tragic, if I may say. My heart aches for you. Perhaps here on Sardinia we may be able to find peace and then everyone may do as they so wish.” It was naive in itself, but there was hope in her words. Anya, as naive as she was, was blind to this. “For your sister sir, I am sorry. Do you miss her?”

[anya-russiandoll]

[anya-russiandoll]

amarcnthined·:

“maps are hard to read, as well—i can never manage it.” yejin shook her head, a soft laugh escaping her lips. “so, by that logic, we should also find a compass. i don’t believe someone helped me find my way when i first arrived, or at least, i don’t remember a thing they told me. the walls, they all look the same! and oh, not at all. it would help me, too—i find being lost by myself makes me very nervous.” her words were accented and awkward at times as she spoke in a tongue she had only a use for now, but anya’s presence gave her comfort to speak more freely. at the other’s question, yejin could not keep the relief from passing across her features.·“terribly so! the island is beautiful, yes, but i am still not used to it.” nor did she know if she ever would be. if an opportunity came to return to korea, she would take it within a heartbeat, politics and agreements be damned. “it seems as if everyone else here is already as ease. how do they do it?”

“They are indeed! It is very much dependant upon which way that one is holding the map. I have a very horrendous habit of holding it upside down.” Anya laughed as well, slowly becoming more at ease around the other woman. To hear that someone else experienced similiar things as herself made her feel quite better, accepted. At home, she was alone quite more often than not. Staff and servants dominated her social sphere and Anya felt out of her depth in Sardinia. The other woman’s language was just like her own, stiff and awkward. Both seemed to be speaking a language that was not their mother tongue. Spending more time with Yejin only seemed to make her feel better. This woman understood what she was experiencing and was kind enough to make her feel validated.·“The island is beautiful, but the walls do look the same. No diversity upon them. All stone. Russia...Russia has architecture of beauty.” Sardinia was beautiful, the weather was lovely. Anya did find it slightly too warm, causing her to feel uncomfortable quite often.·“I am not either. Everyone else seems quite content in their surroundings.Perhaps they are quite good at pretending. I myself...the nerves do not make it easy.” Anya smiled weakly, her face showing her every emotion.·

[anya-russiandoll]

crownfears·:

arzu could tell the women was naive, the shake in her voice and the talks of milk. she was beyond milk helping her and the claw she felt inside her chest. it seemed only water was there to help. “aren’t we all?” she asked, her dark eyes looking from the water to the girl.

Anya ducked her head slightly, nodding her head at the woman. “I...I suppose.” Her words contained the tiniest quiver, not sure how to proceed. “I do wish you the best. I also wish that your restlessness will be cured.” There was genuine kindness in her words, only wanting what was best. She was aware that everyone was different and would have different ways to help such restlessness.

[anya-russiandoll]

crownedvermilion·:

With a simple flick of her wrist, she raised her hand in objection to the other’s need to apologize. Sophia felt extraordinarily guilty in the fact the other was unaware of who she was to her. It was unfortunate that the distance between the two existed where it shouldn’t have. Sophia was such a large-hearted woman, and yet she hadn’t extended that love out the sweet being before her. “Sophia, please cousin. We are family, and I hope you can forgive me for the mistreatment you’ve endured at our hands. It is I who must apologize dearly for not reaching out to bridge that gap between us. You are perfectly alright and prettier then I could’ve imagined” The Tsarina spoke softly hoping to take her hands and give a reassuring squeeze. “Nothing would make me happier either, but God hasn’t seen to blessing us yet with an heir just yet. Your prayers are appreciated as are the collective of Russia. For you, though I believed he’d hear your voice always and maybe God will listen to his sweet Anya’s hope.”

Taking a deep breath, she moved her other hand without even being aware of it to her belly. A natural instinct but so many times she’d hoped only to feel a little thing grow for God to decide it wasn’t their time to have children. She had been queasy on the journey here. Additionally, Sophia had to adjust to the diet here and wasn’t overeating any of the local cuisines. Was it sad to hope every sign of sickness was not that but something far more beautiful? After speaking to Anya, she would see the physician to confirm or deny her suspicions. The sweet cousin of her husband had touched a tender nerve, but the Tsarina knew how to smile well to hide a moment’s pain. “Now where again is it you are trying to go again? The northern courtyard? I could easily do a turn there, and we shall get to know each other and try to recover lost time.”

The woman’s objection to her apology was not missed on Anya, but she could not allow herself to stop the guilt. There could have been more that she could have done in order to meet her extended family. Perhaps a letter would have even sufficed, filled with words that were intended to soothe like honey and well wishes. Anya did not her head, however, at the Tsarina’s wishes. There was a hesitant, shy smile that decorated her lips. “Sophia, then. The offer is also offered to you, my dearest cousin. Please call me Anya. It is mistreatment on both parts, not that of my most dearest Tsar’s beautiful wife. Let us allow for such wishes to fall, and to enjoy one another as we are here now.” Anya squeezed the woman’s hands back, completely in awe of her. In conjunction with her cousin, Russia adored the Tsar and Tsarina. She could see why, the compliment that the gracious woman gave her causing warm to rush to her cheeks. All that Anya wished in her heart was to reassure the Tsarina, to have Sophia have as much faith in God as she did. “Our God works in mysterious ways, my cousin. Do not doubt that he will deliver your heart all that you desire. My prayers are the loudest and most frequent. I do wish for him to hear them, for your sake more than my own. Russia knows love and care at you and my dearest Tsar’s hands, and a child shall know your love as well.” Out of all the insecurities and worries that Anya felt, none was felt when it came to her faith. 

>The young woman returned Sophia’s smile, nodding her head lightly. She did not want to be a bother upon the woman. “The northern courtyard, yes. However, do not go out of your way for me, dear cousin. A simple direction will suffice. I wish not to burden you.”

[anya-russiandoll]

paledhorses·:

“unfortunately that is the problem. while i am quite close with the king, with the issues in our own country, i have not been nearly as able to upkeep on more broad politics outside of our empire.” he explains with a small chuckle. “though i hope such a summit will allow to me get back into it all.” he nods. darius ducks his head, looking down at the woman, “have you a husband, yet, your grace?” phrased as a casual question. “a woman of your beauty being unmarried seems a shame, if you’ll allow me to say such.”

“That would be the same with many, I believe.” Anya replied, sharing a soft laugh as well. She was still somewhat hesitant in how she acted, her own reactions based upon that of her companion. “The summit should help. With all here, the result is for peace.” The comment of Darius caused her cheeks to flush slightly, the young woman giving her head the slightest of shakes. “No...no I am not wed as of yet. Your comment is welcome, and quite lovely though. Thank you, good sir. I believe my father is attempting to negotiate a marraige, that is somewhat the role of my lady while at court. Myself...I am less eager. My dearest cousin wed for love, I wish such a liberty was afforded to myself. It does not seem as that would be so. Are you wed yourself, sir?

[anya-russiandoll]

princejavic·:

His smile widens at her compliment and he chuckles slightly, figuring that she must have grown up with such strict people who go by tradition. “Preserving the line? Why so?” He asks, catching onto what she says despite her mumbling it more to herself. To address her next question, the prince shrugs a little, “There is a lot, the weather feels like just as it is at home, the town is very organized, very peaceful. The merchants are nice, they do not take advantage of lords and dukes and princesses.”

“Well that is what we all are here for, is it not? While delegations are occuring, it is also to ensure that the ruling families maintain their safety. I am the next in line for the Russian Empire, should my cousin not produce an heir. While I would not like that at all...it is as our life is.” Anya told him softly, giving her shoulders a light shrug. The line of succession was a tricky business, but she hoped her cousin would produce an heir and she would be left to her devices. Anya looked around at his words, nodding her head slightly. “Indeed. The weather is quite like your home? Oh that is lovely. It is very different from Russia.” She glanced at some of the locals as they passed, her smile warm. “I would love to see a few merchants. Perhaps purchase something lovely to remember dear Sardinia.”

[anya-russiandoll]

porcelainsteel·:

“i have heard you have quite the extremes of weather- the winter for one, is supposedly fearsome in the chill?” wordly enough from her learning and education that she had striven to excel in since a young age, yet still finding it preferable to learn directly from one who had actually lived in the place, she asked away, giving the other a chance to speak with the fondness that they so evidently held towards their home. “i can only hope the same. i will be with all here every step of the way to ensure such an experience” the princess swore, that being one of the duties she felt pressing in this time, along with utilising any political skill of her own. “it would be good to see you in action trying the knowledge you are learning now in terms of directions- anytime, really”. 

“Oh indeed. The winter brings the coldest chills, some that brings coldness to your very bones. However, there is something calming about the calm that settles amongst the white snow.” Speaking of her home put Anya to ease, warming her heart. There was nothing to her quite as beautiful as Russia in Winter. “You are being very welcoming. I myself appreciate your kindness. It means so much to me. Especially when I am so far from home, in a place that I do not know.” The kindness of the Italian princess brought such warmth to the Grand Duchess. She would still be lost without the assistance of the woman. “I do hope that with your tutelage I will be able to find my way around, soon. Hopefully. If not, your company is well received and respected.”

[anya-russiandoll]

I wouldn't know where to start Sweet music playing in the dark, Be still my foolish heart, Don't ruin this on me...

[anya-russiandoll]

wasteland, baby! + favorite songs and lyrics

wasteland, baby // almost (sweet music) // shrike // would that i

[anya-russiandoll]

Home is an interesting and vague concept. Is it where you were born or what your genes claim? Is it where you feel safe or where you dream yourself to be? Or is it just a state of mind? Whatever it is, I feel homesick all the time. Maybe it’s the confusion. Maybe it’s the longing of a place that I haven’t found yet. Or maybe it’s just the rebel in me desiring not belong to anywhere.

Hira

[anya-russiandoll]

Seven Heavenly Virtues: Kindness Aesthetic

[anya-russiandoll]

paledhorses·:

“soft?” he finishes for her, gently. “a soft heart is nothing to be ashamed of, your grace.” he tells her. darius finds it a lie. soft hearts were easier to manipulate, though. and he was quite fond of manipulation. “you’ll make a fine queen. you have a heart for your people and for your country. little else matters in the end.” he gives her a warm, gentle smile. “i like to think i am well-informed, though admittedly with the more centralized problems of our country as of late, i have fallen out of my usual ability to know nearly everything.”

“Soft.” Anya repeated quietly, glancing back over at him. The man was many years her senior, and much more knowledgeable about things such as this. His reassurance seemed to calm her immensely, a somewhat weak smile moving onto her lips. “I do think you may be correct. I of course pray for my cousin to have an heir. I do not wish to succeed him. But if that is what God wishes, I will attempt to rule to the best of my heart.” The warm smile from the gentleman briefly reminded her of her father, momentarily transporting her back to her home. “Oh, is there a reason to that besides the move to Sardinia? I thought a King’s adviser would be quite close with his King, especially in times such as this.” At the end of the day, Anya knew very little of politics. She could be completely wrong in what she was saying.

[anya-russiandoll]

quxnursaanna·:

The queen of Sweden had been discussing the delicate matter of taking care of her youngest son with her most trusted handmaiden when the woman’s soft touch demanded her attention to shift and be pointed in the direction of a younger woman further down the hall. One with hair that appeared to have faced a storm and a look in her eyes that spoke pure distress. A sight that might have reminded her of herself when she was young, only with quite a bit less anger overruling all else. 

It didn’t come as a surprise she turned to whomever came in her path, desperate for any kind of direction. It just so happened to the Ursa Anna that showed up to the scene first. As the raven-haired rushed to explain her problems the queen raised her hand in a calming motion. Offering one of her more gentle smiles to the other before she spoke. “My dear, you look as if you were chased by the hounds. Now, the Northern courtyard is not that far but I would suggest you’d compose yourself before you go running off again. You look… well, a little lacking of royal flare.” she spoke, trying her utmost best to sound as polite as she possibly could. “You are already fashionably late, so why rush even more? I would suggest starting with a deep breath.”

The reassurance of a smile immediately allowed Anya to take a deep breath. The young woman was naive at the best of times, immediately reassured by a smile or a moment of gentleness. “I am sorry, your grace. In my fear and anxiety I believe I was not acting very...befitting.” She paused, glancing down at her hands in slight shame. The young woman had not been exposed to royal life, and as such, was unfamiliar with much of the style and circumstance a royal heir would be expected to act in. Anya hurried to smooth down her hair, neatening it slightly. The way that she had been running her fingers through it seemed to have made a mess of the careful construction that her lady had completed that very morning. “Thank you, your grace. Your candour and guidance is much appreciated.” And it was the truth. Anya was at a loss regarding her behaviour, the Summit her first experience around so many royals. “If you would point me in the direction of the Northern Courtyard then, please? I do try to not be too late.”

[anya-russiandoll]

amarcnthined·:

“do you see anyone else here? i think not,” catalina replied archly, eyes sparkling with amusement. surely, she wasn’t that intimidating—or was anya simply that skittish? “don’t fret, i can keep a secret. your lady will never know of your transgressions—she is not even here—, russia will carry on with its good name, and you’ll enjoy a lovely glass of wine courtesy of the italians. a good deal, no?” oh, what a sweet, shy thing the russian princess was. she’d get swallowed whole if she wasn’t careful. “come, sit with me at least. it’s too beautiful a day to not enjoy the sun for a bit.”

Anya tried to smile slightly at the woman, nodding her head. Interacting with people such as the Spanish lady always put her out of her depth. “No...no one else is here. I just do not believe you would wish for my company. I have made your acquaintance only once before.” Her eyes moved to the wine, another shake of her head following. “I really mustn’t. My lady does not like when I do such things. She believes it is rather reckless. You may enjoy the wine though, I am happy to sit with you.” At  least sitting with the lady couldn’t hurt. And she seemed rather nice. Anya made her way over properly, sitting down beside the woman and readjusting her skirts. Her clothing was made for Russia, the summer’s much less warm than Sardinia. She felt incredibly out of place due to it. “The day is rather beautiful. Incredibly warm, I will say.” Anya attempted to keep her nerves in check. No one on Sardinia was out to hurt her. She needn’t be so frightened. 

[anya-russiandoll]

princejavic·:

“I find it a good avenue to practice speaking it, there would be no point in learning the language if I do not use it, correct?” He smiles sweetly as he watches her, seeing her cheeks flush into a light pink color, and he can’t help but chuckle lightly. He had never seen anyone so shy, and he at least had wanted to help her break out of the shell she had been in. “And of course I would like to hear them, and just because you are lacking in this aspect does not mean you don’t have the capacity to learn more.”

“That is quite practical. You do speak quite lovely Italian. I believe my Spanish will need work. It would be a shame to incompetently use your language.” Anya admitted, completely wrapped up in Javier’s smile. He was being so kind to her that it had initially shocked her. She was not used to such kindness, especially from politicians. Most dismissed the young woman and her ideas. “You continue to be much too kind. I wish to learn. That is the reason I am here, besides preserving the Russian empire’s line.” The last part was almost mumbled, an after thought by the shy woman. “Do tell me, what have you found to be the best part of Sardinia? You must share it with me.” She told him, her words containing the tiniest bit less shyness, however, she did not meet his eyes as she asked. She was scared that she was being too forward.