anyasmcm-wowza-pt2

[anyasmcm-wowza-pt2]

Organizing materials and more brainstorming

Here was a little bit of brainstorming I did regarding the exhibit space and how the quilt will be made.

[anyasmcm-wowza-pt2]

critique #1 feedback

feedback and ideas that branch off from that:

[anyasmcm-wowza-pt2]

costume and set up early(ish) sketches

Before the critique, i wanted to refine my ideas after my 1 on 1 conversations with Allyson.

^ Performance

^ sketches of selves and setup

[anyasmcm-wowza-pt2]

forming capstone statement

This is my early capstone statement:

My Capstone is a representation of my difficulty to communicate and interact with others due to my upbringing. I believed that in order to communicate with others, I had to create a separate self, a perceived self, that existed separately to my true self. My Capstone represents this through a performative piece centered around a visualization of both selves. My true self, represented by a faceless, wonderful creature that exists in a bubble of thought and creativity, is surrounded by what truly makes me comfortable, happy, and secure when I am by myself. My perceived self, rather than being faceless, has crafted a face based around the ping pong game that is conversation, and who is subservient to those who call upon it through interaction. The perceived self is prioritized above the true self because the perceived self is what other people see, and other people allow the self to feel as though it belongs. This is why any interaction causes the true self to be swept away and suppressed, because I believed a sense of belonging was greater than a truthful, pure, and individualistic self.

It will probably need to be tweaked, but this is what I've formulated so far.

While the terminology is very reflective of Roger's Conception of Self, I want to explain that the terminology is something that I have used to identify these different selves, but they existed prior to my discovery of Roger's Self. I found that using the terms he defines helps create a clearer understanding of what is being expressed, rather than saying the definition of what he essentially describes.

[anyasmcm-wowza-pt2]

early sketches

So i was really drawn to the idea of ping pong balls because my friend mentioned how conversation resembles a ping pong game: there is some skill involved in keeping the conversation going not just continuously but fluidly. However, there isn't really a winner or a loser, just gaps that are filled with awkwardness (if you let it).

From this, I created 2 characters: one that interacts with people socially and the other that is hidden away when interacting with people. Here are my early sketches of that:

[anyasmcm-wowza-pt2]

over break: writing over text

This was a fun little activity i did with my friend, clare, over break for a week and a half. out of our frustration of texting (auto-correct, difficulty writing out what we are trying to say), we switched to sending written messages over text. here's an example of some of that!

I really enjoyed this experience, it was interesting to see how our conversations flowed through a different form of communication. I found it especially interesting that we still used things like emojis to display emotions, or we used our writing to convey a certain emotion or feeling. However, it didn't spark any ideas in relation to my capstone.

[anyasmcm-wowza-pt2]

meeting with nancy

I had a really productive meeting with nancy towards the end of last semester, so I want to put those notes in here just so the journey of my project is more fluid :D

Method for productively collecting thoughts and organizing them Writing when you don't know the end goal-- advice?

Paper feedback is very helpful

Doesn't need to be a chronicle of everything you've done

Visualize

How do I get what's in my head out of my head

Non verbal

Drawn to the idea of communication

Understanding what I'm thinking and outputting it/externallizing it and understanding what I'm feeling

Upbringing The way that I understand the world is through animals, not other people

Missed out on growing up with emotional and CULTURAL CONTEXT

MAKING SENSE OF MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

^^^ SCAFFOLDING

Theories of interpersonal communication

Non verbal communication

Give the ghillie suit context - makes you feel more comfortable because you're leading with the way you feel alien - don't hug me im scared red guy

More focused on yourself Trying to express

Set a timer Wear suit See how you feel afterwards

Wear suit around Sam - can only speak in writing - non verbal communication - who knows

Pantomime - clowning school Italy

Collage of different kinds of communication form

Suit: Slower with thoughts, allows you to try a set of ideas out and practice

I like communication, I feel deficient In pursuing the focal point of my Capstone, traveling through big philosophical questions like what is happiness, and universal languages, that I have a desire to understand how to better connect my thoughts and feelings and externalize them.

Don't talk about everything you've done That has led me into an interest with visualizing the way I feel like a social alien with a ghillie suit, hidden performance of identity, how I might, through this alien creature, if I can find a more authentic communication with myself

Nick cave Red guy DHMIS Joseph grigely Other artists about the inability to communicate

Brenay brown atlas to the heart

Little scrolls Intentionality

Poetry Subtle maneuvers

CONTEXT

Finish by saying therefore, I'm interested in exploring different kinds of communication while being concealed

We refuse to understand one another

[anyasmcm-wowza-pt2]

Welcome!

While it isn't required to have a blog for capstone II, i think it's a really great way for me to keep track of my progress and compile all of my --stuff-- together.