aobangin-blog

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i need a fightbuddy, which is like a fuckbuddy but instead of banging you fight. no strings attached just text me lemme know when it’s going down 

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You know that trope where couples pretend like they’re all lovey dovey when they’re around friends, but argue all the time when they’re alone? 

Imagine your otp doing the exact opposite. They are always bickering and fighting when there are people around, but once they’re alone they fly into each others arms and kiss and are just stupidly affectionate. Literally everyone thinks they’re sworn enemies, but nah.

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OMG. So I was walking back to my apartment and I heard some footsteps and I turned around and there was this guy running straight for me. I started panicking thinking he wanted to wear my skin as a dress. He gets closer and sees me, looking startled. And then he goes, “OMG I DIDN’T SEE YOU I’M SO SORRY. I WAS RUNNING BECAUSE I’M SCARED OF THE DARK.”

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AUs for when your OTP are both assholes

You drive a massive SUV and steal my parking spot all the time and I was just heading out to leave a strongly worded note under your windshield wiper but oh no you’re hot AU

I’m a barista and you’re the obnoxious customer who comes through and orders a venti macchiato while talking on the phone the whole time so I misspell your name in increasingly creative ways every day AU

I’m a busy businessperson and my barista keeps misspelling my name in increasingly disrespectful ways, honestly, who does this person think they are AU

We were both playing wingman for our friends who have now decided to go home together, and after five minutes of conversation we fucking hate each other, let’s bang it out AU

I saw you trying to hit the “door close” button in the elevator but I made it in and then I pushed every single button to make you later for work, but now we’re stuck in this fucking elevator as it stops at every single floor and I don’t know what to say other than “you started it” AU

I asked for your help getting a book off the top shelf and and you laughed at my taste and called me a nerd so I shoved you into a table of nonfiction best-sellers and that’s how we both got banned from the quirky community bookstore AU

I take my grades very seriously and you’re the lazy asshole who asks a ton of off-topic questions to distract the professor and I might be a foot shorter than you but I swear to god I’ll fight you AU

You tried to barge into a private conversation so I said something devastatingly witty and dismissive but you came back with something even meaner and more clever AU

Shouting match over the last Thanksgiving turkey at the grocery store AU

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Height Difference AUs

1. “I’m in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you’ve read that book? let’s have an in depth conversation about it.”

2. “You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”

3. “We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks”

4. “You are very tall and I am very short so you run into me all the time and honestly this is getting ridiculous”

5. I’m in art class and I just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding”

6. “We’re on the bus and I’m really not trying to take up your space I’m sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs” 

7. We’re at a concert and I can’t see a thing let me sit on your shoulders, maybe?” 

8. “You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious” 

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important otp question:

who goes ‘I’m too hot’ and who goes ‘hot damn’

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reached for the last snack item at the same time au

accidentally ‘borrowed’ their towel at their gym au

saw their number graffitied on a toilet stall au

"which asshole hasn’t returned the dvd i want yet" au

parents signed them up for the same shitty art/science program au

met on omegle au

thirst follow au

mail keeps coming to the wrong address au

"you know you’re singing to your headphones out loud, right" au

beat the crap out of each other in online multiplayer au

worked really well together in online co-op au

"i think your dog likes my dog" au

kissed them as a distraction while stealing their wallet au

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character building question: if your character is Eagle One, who is

Been There Done That

Currently Doing That

It Happened Once In A Dream

If I Had To Pick A Dude

Eagle Two

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I’m genuinely surprised at the lack of Internet based AUs on this site so I came up with some

'so you're the asshole that took my username' AU

'your URL is really similar to my friend's and I accidentally messaged you' AU

'whoops that was supposed to be on anon' AU

'my self-esteem is shit right now and I noticed you just went through my entire face tag, tell me I'm pretty' AU

'you were like my first follower, why are you still here' AU

'I just recognized you from across the store and I don't know what to do, my training didn't prepare me for this' AU

'I think half of my anons are from the same person and I'm trying to track you down' AU

'we both ship the same obscure pairing, let's get married right now but first let's share headcanons' AU

'I was looking at my new followers and I think you were my crush that moved away in fourth grade' AU

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important otp thing to consider: who rocks the ferris wheel seat 

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Rivalry to Romance AUs

We hate each other but we both have a mutual friend so we have to put up with each other AU

This is a mandatory partner project and since everybody else is taken I have to have you as my partner AU

You’re my jerk barista who purposely screws up my name when I order my caffeine fix AU

The Proposal AU

You used to bully/mess with me in elementary school and it turned out it was because you had a major crush on me AU

I’m trying to recruit members for my club but you keep stealing away all my potential recruits AU

You spoil all the things I’m into and it’s really pissing me off AU

So I have to spend the night at my longtime rival’s house, everything will totally be fine because their parents are there (or not) AU

If you aren’t serious about this play then leave AU

I know you don’t like me but I really need help passing this class AU

Don’t tell anyone you saw me crying AU

I don’t want to go to this party/dance alone so please be my date AU

Just got caught under the mistletoe with my arch-nemesis and now everything is slow changing between us AU

You come to the restaurant I work at and choose me as your waiter(ess) every time just to annoy me and I can’t do anything in retribution or I’ll get fired AU

I spilled my lunch on this person one time and now they hate me AU

A Walk to Remember AU

You’re the Gantu to my Stitch AU

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list of trash aus i need immediately

“hey we hooked up last night and it turns out you are my childs teacher” au

“we both play this stupid game online and you keep beating me every single goddamn time so i called you out and you are pretty cute but can you not” au

“im a bartender and you just came in here without shoes sat down and ordered a chocolate volcano and idk what the fuck that is and im scared to ask” au

“we are neighbours and every night at 3:14 am you start yodeling for no fucking reason??? why???? is that you yodeling??? its been 2 months???” au

“im a pizza delivery person and i just delivered a pizza to someone in the middle of a satanic ritual and they gave me their number???” au

“i woke up this morning to find you sitting in my living room with a goat in a poncho??? who are you??? why is the goat wearing a poncho??? how did you get the goat in here i live on the 12th floor???” au

“we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know” au

"im a cashier and i saw you stuffing you pants full of potatoes and i would stop you but you already have 27 and i want to see how many you can fit"au

“its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes” au

“i was playing beer pong with a coin and i accidentally threw it right into your eye at a party” au

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Send me a ship and I'll tell you...

who’s the cuddler: 

who makes the bed:

who wakes up first:

who has the weird taste in music:

who is more protective:

who sings in the shower:

who cries during movies:

who spends the most while out shopping:

who kisses more roughly:

who is more dominate:

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

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AU'S

"i just committed a crime and i need to use you as a hostage i am so sorry" au

you were my rival in first grade and damn you’ve gotten really hot since then au

i was shrunk to 4 inches tall by a witch and now i kinda live in your kitchen without you knowing au

i am actually good at math but the math tutor is really hot so i’m pretending to be dumb au

two strangers locked inside a grocery store at three am together au

 i’m mute and you’re the lead singer of my favorite band who just pulled me on stage to sing with you au

who can sell the most cookies contest au

we’re strangers but i absolutely hate your music taste and i feel the need to tell you this on a crowded subway au

 i’m a fisherman and you’re a mermaid who got tangled in one of my nets au

i purposely get your coffee order wrong just so you’ll talk to me again au

we’re both sick and we both grabbed for the last can of soup at the store au

tree climbing contest but we both got stuck up on the top branches and now we have to wait for the fire department au

you’re singing my favorite song but you’re singing it wrong au

you’re the crazy cat person next door and your cats keep on wandering into my yard au

i’m a ghost and you’re a ghost hunter au

you’re my siblings’s best friend and i absolutely hate you but pretend to be my boy/girlfriend to piss off my family au

you look exactly like the main character in my novel au

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hot mess otp aus pt. 3:

‘i called the wrong number and started talking about my life and you only interrupted me after a few a few minutes of me revealing some pretty personal stuff and now youre invested in my life troubles’ au

'you're a vet and i'm pleading with you to save my goldfish and you're the first vet i've visited to not ask me if i'm sure i don't want to go and buy another goldfish for three dollars' au

'it's my turn to open up the cafe today and you were sleeping under one of the tables when i came in and i don't know what to say so i'm just sweeping awkwardly around you' au

'i'm drunk on public transport and you're high and we both keep looking at each other knowingly' au

'you found me in a mall crying over a bowl of noodles i dropped and i s2g im not usually like this im just having a really weird week' au

'you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you're really hot so i just went with it and now we're heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you' au