aornff

[aornff]

did merida's brothers actually try to claim the throne?

Short answer: No. 

Long answer: In Gaelic culture, as in the culture I am using as the basis for this fic, the throne does not automatically go to the oldest son of the king when something happens to the king. It’s good for the king to have children who could possibly take up the mantle, but in general the throne goes to the person who fought for it and won. If you don’t like the king, it’s your civic duty to fight him for the crown.That was part of the reason why Warrick was so despised, among other things he didn’t try to take the throne like a Dunbroch king should have, by challenging the old king to a one-on-one fight, but tricked his way onto it instead. 

Merida used her new army to make a land grab for control of Dunbroch, but when it came to claiming the throne she was very careful to pick up a sword and fight Warrick herself (a fight she knew he had no way of winning) so that the throne is now rightfully hers, unless someone else challenges her. Her son is the heir, but only until it’s challenged, if it’s ever challenged. 

[aornff]

hey there! great chapter as always, but now I have new questions. I'm curious about whether Elsa's emotional status is now balanced enough for Olaf to come back? or are there still severe climate changes? because I imagine that there are still a lot of ups and downs now with all that that has recently happened... well enough about that. have fun at the weddings :)

Hello, thanks for the well-wishing!At present, Elsa is experiencing a phenomenon called 'flat effect' which can be a symptom of depression, PTSD or even extreme fatigue. The effect it has on her powers is pretty negligible, it means she's not generating much of anything weather-wise which makes the climate, even when it's actually snowing, still too warm for the snow creatures to safely come down from the mountain. Best case scenario is they would get a bit slushy, worst is that they would melt entirely. However, I can tell you that Kristoff, Anna and their children do make trips up the mountains to check up on Olaf and his family, Elsa for the moment does not but that may change.

[aornff]

All or Nothing Chapter Twenty Eight

All or Nothing

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Note: I have a lot of weddings to attend and a lot of jobs to do this season so my updates may go back to being sporadic for a bit. Hopefully I'll be back to normal by the end of July.

Also, a reader noticed that the timeframe of this story has taken a leap forward, and I'd like to take a moment to explain that this is very deliberate. While Elsa and Merida were in close proximity time was slowed down to appreciate their relationship, but as they are separated now it's a bigger picture and history is being made in broad strokes. I'm in this ship for the long haul.

…..

An invitation to visit Dunbroch arrived almost as soon as Merida gave birth to the heir to Dunbroch's throne, but it took nearly a year to work out the semantics of Elsa actually leaving the country in order to visit. By then, the Arendelle heirs were just about old enough for Anna to take over the throne duties long enough to let Elsa leave safely.

Magnus and Lennart were eighteen months old, and although Magnus was walking he was a decidedly quiet child, but required his own nurse to watch him at all times because he climbed on anything that could be climbed on. Lennart, on the other hand, was a babbler just like Anna had been as a child but showed no signs of being ready to walk. He was the twin Elsa was happy to have sit in her office with her; even with the amount of noise he made, he was unlikely to hurt himself or break anything as Magnus inevitably did.

“Keep an eye on him,” Elsa warned Anna as she handed over the keys of her office. “If he rips anything important I have more work when I get home.”

“Fine, fine,” Anna said, waving her away. “Don't worry, just have fun. Give Merida my love.”

The sea voyage was quick, as sea voyages went. They were there within just three weeks, ushered into what passed for a port in Dunbroch. A group of warriors, including the Macguffin clan leader and his son that she had met in Arendelle, were waiting to escort her to the castle.

What struck her from the moment she left the ship was how green Dunbroch was. The air was damp and heavy, so crisp it almost hurt her lungs, and although the cold certainly didn't affect her the rain-suffused atmosphere was so unlike Arendelle it was like stepping onto a different planet. Even though the rode her horse walked along was clearly well-used, she was surrounded on all sides by thick forest, the branches of the trees so close together they were practically a barricade. No wonder it had been so difficult to invade and keep this place.

The castle was at the top of a hill, and all around it life bloomed. Homesteads, newly planted farms and rows and rows of tents to temporarily house the foreign factions dotted the hill and the surrounding lands. Every person she saw bid her an almost casual greeting and then went about their business. It was so different to Arendelle she couldn't help laughing.

The laughter died when she saw Merida, though her heart swelled with joy.

Merida's son sat on her knee. His complexion was swarthy, dark as his father, but his hair was as red as his mother's. He was a big strong boy, intelligence glimmered in his eyes. Exactly the kind of son Elsa imagined Merida would have.

Motherhood suited Merida, clearly. She looked healthy, not as thin or pale as when Elsa had last seen her. Her hair was longer, braided into a long thick rope, and a small gold circlet perched on her head. Her face lit up when she saw Elsa, and Elsa was sure her own face did the same.

It almost distracted Elsa from noticing that her stomach was swollen with life. Almost.

…..

“He didn't waste much time,” was what Merida said when they were alone, stroking her belly.

“Did you have any say in the matter?” Elsa asked cautiously.

“Of course,” Merida shrugged. “It made sense. Especially while we're still at war.”

“Where is your husband now?”

“He is in the east,” Merida answered. “He has gone to collect more of his men. Angols are preparing to invade some time in the next year.”

She didn't sound worried.

“I'm not.”

Elsa blinked. She hadn't realized she'd said that out loud.

“Angols' king is worried about losing face to all the other nations they've invaded. That's the only reason they're trying to invade us. They still consider us to be little better than savages, so they consistently underestimate us.”

“Diplomacy isn't an option, I'm assuming,” Elsa said.

“Not right now,” Merida said.

There was a knock on the door, and in sauntered Nadiya, the granddaughter of Sultana Jasmine. She wore the thin silk garments she had worn in Agrabah but she was also draped in a roll of woolen tartan and a thick fur-lined cloak. Merida introduced them, although she had to know that Elsa had seen her through the book.

“You are here to find a husband, so I've heard,” Elsa inquired, to Nadiya's tinkling laughter.

“I am here for blood, my queen,” she answered, stroking the tartan. “I want my future children to be strong.”

“The men are fighting for her hand,” Merida drawled. “I hated it, but she seems to thrive on it.”

“And why not? The strongest of them will make the strongest children,” Nadiya shrugged.

“Mirrikh is bringing more of Nadiya's friends with him on the way back,” Merida said. “Any Agrabah woman that wants a Dunbroch husband. The men are delighted, as I'm sure you can imagine.”

“How do the Dunbroch women feel about it?” Elsa asked.

“A good number of them have soldier husbands now, they seem happy enough.”

Merida's son (Fiachra, his name was) yawned and babbled something that could have been Gaelic or gibberish. Merida handed him off to a passing servant woman with some quiet instructions.

…..

Dunbroch's castle was a considerably less guarded place than Arendelle's palace, which made sneaking into Merida's room unnecessary as Merida brought her right up, without even a second glance from the few people still around to see.

Pregnancy had changed her body. She tasted different, not in an unpleasant way. Elsa was careful around her bump, and around her breasts which now had a habit of 'leaking' if she pressed too hard. Still, their lovemaking was as passionate as it had ever been. It felt good to be together after so long.

Right up until Merida's belly twitched, and she clenched around the fingers Elsa had inside her, and a startled Elsa shot out a tiny flurry of ice in the worst possible place to have ice.

“Oh my God,” Elsa spluttered. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, are you okay? Oh God...!”

Merida muttered something Gaelic and probably very rude into the pillow, pressing the blankets in between her legs and rolling around.

“We need to get a doctor,” Elsa panicked. “How are we going to explain....never mind, does it hurt? Is there blood? Oh my God, I didn't mean to, it just...”

“Elsa,” Merida groaned. “Stop panicking.”

“All right,” Elsa agreed, but she was no less worried. “Are you...?”

“It doesn't hurt, it's just really cold,” Merida grumbled. “Really, really cold.”

“We need the trolls,” Elsa muttered. Memories of Anna's comatose state after being shot with her ice flooded her mind. “They'll know what to do...”

“Elsa, it's fine,” Merida told her. She had rolled onto her back now, and although one hand was still pressing the blankets between her legs the other was resting on her bump. “The swimmer is still moving. It's okay.”

“How do you know?”

“I'd know if something was wrong,” she said.

“Okay. If you're sure,” Elsa said, relaxing a little and getting up. Merida reached out to grab her arm.

“We're not stopping, are we?”

“Do you....want to keep going?” Elsa asked incredulously. “I could have killed you!”

“No, you couldn't,” Merida sighed. “You just shot a load of ice up my jacksy, it's not going to kill me. Come here and warm me up.”

Well, how could she refuse?

…..

Elsa was back in Arendelle much sooner than she would have liked, but there was only so long she could realistically stay away from her throne. Anna had filled in well as the interim queen but she was glad to leave the work to Elsa and go back to playing with her rapidly growing sons.

Word reached her later on that Merida's second child was a healthy girl.

Time became a nebulous thing, between missives from Dunbroch and the work that went into maintaining Arendelle's shifting trade agreements there was nothing much to occupy her. Elsa's nephews continued to grow, Lennart finally began to walk and then run, and Magnus learned how to talk at least enough to demand more food and complain about being sent to bed.

Dunbroch's rapidly expanding army made a bold move; after defeating another invasion attempt, Mirrikh lead his forces into a land mass that had once been a small nation taken over by Angols, ripped away the Angols leaders occupying it and restored what was left of its exiled royal family to the throne. It was a ready-made ally with no real manpower to add to Dunbroch's army, but with rich fertile land to feed the people and make excellent trade prospects.

Three more times, Angols tried to take over Dunbroch. Three more times, they failed.

Dunbroch's list of allies grew larger. Along with Agrabah's trade agreements making the country rich enough to attract swathes of mercenaries, other nations that were defending their borders from Angols were lending their strength to Dunbroch's.

By the time Merida was pregnant with her third child, her war machine had rolled entirely over Angols and captured their king. He was executed, along with the men that stood with him, the men who had put the idea in Warrick's head to try for Dunbroch's princess as a wife. She showed mercy to the queen mother of the nation, however, and to the king's young wife, also pregnant and so sure she was going to die that she entered negotiations sobbing and trembling. She allowed them to keep their seats on the throne as rulers in name only, with the promise that the heir born would never try to impose Angols on any other nation ever again.

It seemed, to Elsa's eyes, that her nephews had grown more every time she saw them. She spent so much time locked in her office, and stuck in negotiations with her advisers, that she hardly saw them unless Anna insisted.

“You're too thin, Elsa,” Anna warned one day, putting a large slice of cake in front of her to go with her coffee.

Elsa took a bite, but sweet food seemed dry and ashy, and savory made little impact on her tastebuds.  She had never been a big eater, but these days even the simple act of ingesting food seemed pointless. She could take no joy in it.

“The boys hardly know who you are,” Anna said, tugging at Lennart's hand as he reluctantly inched forward into the office. “You're their aunt, you should at least try to interact with them.”

“I know,” Elsa answered. “I'm sorry.”

And yet, they turned five years old before she knew it. Now that she could see them as people instead of the somewhat formless children they had been, she looked forward more to the day when she could hand her throne over to one of them (most likely Magnus, even as the older child he seemed more sensible) so she could lead her own life.

More and more, she thought about the future. One day Arendelle would have no need of her, and she would have no need of Arendelle. Anna had her husband, and one of her sons would make an excellent ruler. She could help him choose the best bride to sit on the throne beside him, and her work would be done.

Merida's oldest was a good strong boy, and one day Dunbroch would have no need of her either. Her husband already spent more time sailing across the world than he did by her side, returning only to give her another child. She would not miss him.

How easy would it be to make a life together? They would be older, but who was to say they would love each other any less?

[aornff]

omg AorN is reaching its end!? that's tragic! and I think that every reader thought Elsa would be the powerful ally. maybe she will play an important role when they have to defeat the young king...? and poor Elsa! Merida being pregnant was obvious, but still a hard truth to swallow. can't wait for the next chapter! :)

There’s still a few chapters to go, and I think I still have a few surprises up my sleeve for you. I’m glad to hear you’re so invested in the story.

[aornff]

All or Nothing  Chapter Twenty Seven

All or Nothing

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Note: I'm heading into endgame on this fic at last, and I would like to mention that I have an archive with all of my most recent fanwork on it as well as original work and if you feel like reading anything else I've written I suggest you try there and see if there's anything you're interested in. Thanks for reading All or Nothing thus far!

https://ptlikestea.dreamwidth.org/

…..

Anna was going on five months pregnant by the time another letter reached Elsa from Agrabah. It confirmed one of her most fervent fears. There were three hairs attached, as always, but she couldn't bear to put them in the book.

Somehow, Merida had known she wouldn't use the book, because she was much more descriptive in her letter than she usually was.

Mirrikh, Sultana Jasmine's grandson, had ridden out ahead of his own forces to meet with her at the palace. Merida said nothing of his looks, only that he seemed like a serious young man. He listened carefully as she explained her situation, and when she was finished he told her of the prophecy that he had been burdened with when he was a child. He was convinced that the two of them were meant to form an alliance, and both had something the other wanted.

Mirrikh had never been to that part of the world before, and he needed to complete his journey. He had amassed an army by defeating and then befriending the captain of every pirate ship in the south seas, as well as endearing himself to the foothill tribes enough for them to send their sons off to journey with him. Between his forces and Merida's loyal men back in Dunbroch, they would have more than enough to retake the country.

She was quick to explain that he had no desire to rule Dunbroch, and that he would sign himself over as the queen's consort once the crown was on her head. He would father her children to ensure her legacy as well as his own, but he would leave often to continue his journey, following the sun to where it set in the evening.

I agreed, Elsa. What else could I do?

As crushed as she was, Elsa supposed she couldn't blame her. If Arendelle had been overtaken in such a way and Anna driven out of her home the way Merida's brothers had been, Elsa thought she might have done the same.

It didn't hurt any less to admit it, though.

…..

When Anna was in her eighth month, Elsa received word that Merida was offshore, on one of Mirrikh's ships. Elsa went to meet her; it would not be anything like as romantic a union as she wanted, as she was accompanied by armed guard and the ship was populated by men.

Still, her heart did a giddy little jump when she saw her again.

She was as lovely as when she'd left Elsa, still pale as the moon despite being so close to the sun for so long, and the smile on her face when she saw Elsa was genuinely thrilled.

“You still have all your arms and legs, I see,” Elsa quipped. “I'm relieved.”

“I might have half a stomach left though,” Merida joked back. “They fed me some awfully strange things in Agrabah.”

Indeed, if she had changed at all she looked a little thinner. Or perhaps it was just the clothes she was wearing; Agrabah's clothing, even draped in many layers, were thin as paper.

They talked for a while, and they were given space to do so. Elsa described Anna's wedding and whispered about her illegitimate pregnancy (to hearty laughter from Merida) and they were just about getting to the part where Mirrikh made his first appearance when the man himself knocked and entered.

Elsa couldn't help it; she stared.

She had expected a large hulking warrior, something like the MacGuffin man had been, or at least a man who had his fair share of battle scars on his face. Instead she saw a long-faced man with hair that reached his waist, a tidy beard and black eyes that glimmered with intelligence. His skin was dark and unlined by age or scars. She could not figure out how old he was, he could have been anywhere from his twenties to a well-preserved fifty.

This is the man she's trusting her fate to.

“I will speak with this queen, yes?” he asked Merida.

“Yes, I suppose,” she shrugged, and rose to her feet. “I'll be back in a little bit.”

He sat at the table across from her, as she tried to keep the ice rising in her blood under control.

“I should give my thanks to you,” he began. His voice lacked the heavy accent of Agrabah, it was instead tinged with something smoother, earthier. “For saving her, and for keeping her from harm. She has said much of you to me.”

“I think anyone in the same position would have done what I did,” Elsa responded.

“Maybe,” he agreed. “Maybe not. If you had known then that you would lose your heart to her, would you have done it?”

Elsa froze. A thin sheet of ice crackled along the bench she was sitting on. Surely Merida wouldn't have told him...?

He smiled wryly at the look on her face.

“She has not said anything,” he assured her. “She did not need to. I knew her heart belonged to someone else from the moment I first spoke with her. It is in the prophecy. I could never possess her heart for myself. And I knew the moment I saw you that you love her as much as she loves you.”

She loves me.

Tears stung at the corner of Elsa's eyes. Of all the ways to find out how Merida truly felt about her, learning that she loved her from the man she was going to marry was possibly the cruelest.

“And you don't seem to mind giving up your armies for the sake of a woman that will never love you?” she asked, a touch of bitterness tinging the words.

“I have had a long time to make my peace with it,” he shrugged. “It is prophecized. My true love is the sun, I must follow in its path, always.”

With that, he was gone. If nothing else, he left Elsa with the promise that someday, Merida might be hers and only hers once again.

…..

Anna gave birth to the crown princes in the early hours of an autumn morning. Magnus, the older, was born five minutes before his brother Lennart, making him the official heir to the throne. They were large healthy boys that filled the palace with their bellowing cries from their first moments out of the womb.

Anna took to motherhood surprisingly well. It aged her, in a good way. She was diligent about their feeding and their cleanliness, about the backgrounds and habits of their nursemaids. She even went to their nursery to soothe them when they woke, despite how tired it made her and despite the fact that the palace had hired night nurses for this task.

Kristoff was a happy father, though he seemed nervous around the babies. He seemed to believe he would break them somehow if he held them for too long, though he was always eager to sing to them or coo at them if someone else was holding them.

Elsa, however, was relatively hands off. With small children in the palace she was now ever more aware of how dangerous her powers could be, and babies were unpredictable. She held them little, and left them to the care of her more capable sister and the palace staff. There was little need for her to be very involved in their lives, at least until they were older anyway.

News reached her that the initial force had descended on Dunbroch, after two solid months of laying down plans. Warrick's remaining forces hadn't stood a chance; combined with the home troops that knew the land and Mirrikh's bands of talented pirates, the Angolsi brigade fell like sheaved wheat.

Warrick holed up in the castle, sending out missives begging help from Angols. This was a complication; Angols decided to get involved, for some reason, and sent troops marching into Dunbroch. These were seasoned soldiers, and Angols had always been one of the greater forces to be reckoned with in the world.

However, Dunbroch was unreachable unless you went by sea, and for all the talent the Angolsi troops had on land they were mostly useless in the water. Mirrikh's pirates, with their superior firepower weapons from the far east, destroyed their fleets before they could set foot on Dunbroch. Any soldiers that managed to make it to land were quickly dispatched by the men lying in wait in the forests by the shores.

Warrick was captured, and Merida performed the execution herself. She purposefully wore a white gown to take his head off with her father's broadsword, and managed to do it in one clean stroke. His blood spattered over the white gown, and this was how she took the throne, drenched in the blood of her greatest enemy.

She is Queen Merida of Dunbroch now. We are equals.

Her brothers, halfway towards being men by now, were retrieved from their island hideout and reunited with their sister, to much weeping from everyone involved. With her family returned, she wasted no time in drawing up the contract that stated Mirrikh had no claim on the throne, and they were promptly married. In the letter she sent Elsa, she did not state whether she had worn the bloodied gown when she married Mirrikh, but she liked to think that she had. It served as a handy warning to anyone thinking about crossing her.

Warrick's surviving men were packed off back to Angols, thankful to escape with their lives. It was discovered that he had gotten a young serving girl, a native of Angols, pregnant with a bastard child and when she was called to the throne she begged for her child's life to be spared. Merida gifted her a homestead and enough money to raise her child well, recognizing her as being as much a victim of Warrick as Merida had been.

Rumours flooded the nations, reaching even Arendelle's remote ears. Angols' king was angry, it was said, for Dunbroch's liberation had cast a shadow over the Angols empire. The previous king, the man who had been on the throne when Merida was forcibly married to Warrick, had been known as a patient, prudent man. His son was anything but; he had already absorbed two small nations into his empire in the first year of his reign, and was making noises to the effect that he intended Dunbroch to be next.

This made Elsa nervous. Defeating Warrick was one thing; defeating a nation renowned for its warlike tendencies was quite another. It helped to remind herself that a wisp had brought Merida to Mirrikh, and a dream had brought Mirrikh to Merida. They were together by some sort of external force, something more powerful than a mere nation. If anyone stood a chance of standing against Angols, it was them.

…..

“Mama...” Anna repeated. “You can do it....Mama!”

“Six months is too early, I told you,” Elsa said from behind her stack of paperwork.

“And I told you, he's smart enough to get it,” Anna huffed.

She had brought Lennart into Elsa's office to 'spend some quality auntie time' but so far was just trying to get a baby who wasn't even capable of sitting up straight to form words. Elsa wasn't one to think Anna or Kristoff played favourites with their children, but if they did it was clear that Anna was Lennart's champion. He had a little tuft of white-blonde hair clinging to his otherwise bald head, and Kristoff's eyes. Magnus resembled Anna more, and because he seemed to be a hardier child Kristoff tended to pick him up more than his more delicate brother.

A sharp cry sounded from the window, along with a tapping noise, and Lennart giggled and clapped at the sight of the bird perched on the windowledge.

Lua.

Elsa expected bad news as she opened the window and let the falcon in. Angols had taken them prisoner, or they had lost an important naval battle. When she unfurled the note, she was relieved, though unhappy in another, more private way.

“What does it say?” Anna asked, jostling the baby.

“Merida's pregnant,” Elsa responded, letting the note fall onto her desk.

[aornff]

All or Nothing Chapter Twenty Six

Note: After thinking it over for a while, I decided to create an archive for my work, both original and fanwork. Back when I first started writing fanfiction everyone had archives, shrines, mailing lists and webrings and being an old fashioned girl I quite missed that. It's still under construction at the moment but I will add a link for anyone that's interested in reading anything else I've done or will do in the future.

Link: https://ptlikestea.dreamwidth.org/

…..

After years of delays, paperwork, meetings and arguments with every major and minor noble that had a son old enough for marriage, the arrangements for Anna's wedding to Kristoff were finally completed. Both members of the happy couple were over the moon, even though Kristoff had to sign a long list of documents that rendered him incapable of taking the throne and basically turned him into a glorified consort. He signed them with relish.

Elsa, on the face of it, was happy for her sister but privately, sourly she thought the consul were getting worried about Elsa's health and just wanted to get Anna working on producing the heir to the throne as fast as possible. Hopefully a boy this time and not another troublesome girl.

In any case, Elsa's health was fine. She talked less and ate less and slept less but she got her queenly duties done and she looked perfectly fine, respectable and graceful as always. The great yawning chasm inside her couldn't be seen from the outside. She had even regained some of her control over the weather, the snows did not fall so severely as they had at her most miserable. They fell in a steady aimless drift, much like how Elsa got through each day.

Attending Anna's dress fittings was the most painful; every time Anna giggled and twirled in her dress or sighed over the romance of it all, it was a little stabbing reminder that Elsa would never have this happiness for herself.

Says who? She said she would return. She promised.

That fruitless hope that refused to leave her was the worst of it.

…..

At the beginning of spring, just a week before Anna's marriage, Lua returned to Arendelle with another letter and three more strands of long red hair. The surge of longing that rose up in Elsa was both excruciating and wonderful.

The letter itself was presented in Merida's usual blunt matter-of-fact way. She had been taken to meet with the sultana, hosted in the most expensive place she had ever seen in her life and showered with gifts not just from the sultana herself but a slew of wealthy men and women who had journeyed to the palace specifically to see the only woman ever to enter, not to mention finish, the desert race. These gifts included several slaves, but the idea of owning a person freaked Merida out so much the sultana offered to take them for her and give them gentle work in the palace.

Apparently, the people of Agrabah regarded her as 'lucky' for her pale skin and red hair, something that was as alien to the dusky populace as snow was. Children, slaves and commoners often reached out to touch her when she went out in public (though she was always accompanied by the sultana's royal guard, it didn't stop anyone) and stall vendors demanded that she bless their wares by accepting their gifts. It was all a bit overwhelming, so she didn't leave the palace much.

Elsa chuckled to herself, remembering how awkward Merida had been at the start of her long stay in Arendelle and how the castle staff had warmed to her. It seemed she had that gift everywhere she went though she didn't realize it.

But, there was something left unsaid in the letter. Elsa recognized a rambling distraction when she heard it, even in writing. With her heart already thumping hard, she went to the book and dropped one of the hairs in.

…..

Sultana Jasmine's face was as beautiful and unlined as a woman in her early thirties. It was not a youthful face but an elegant one, with sparkling eyes that spoke of wisdom and grace acquired over near a century of royal life and a mouth that lilted upwards with good humour. Her hair, though no longer black, was long and lustrous and trailed over her shoulders and back like a fine wool cloak.

Her beauty was so striking it was easy to miss how she was so enormously fat that she could no longer walk much, and the splendor of the many layers of gauzy cloth she draped herself in made her body a work of art in its own right. She was intimidating in a way that another similarly large woman could not have been.

She spoke Angolsi at least as well as Merida did, and this was the language they used to speak with each other. When Elsa manifested in the room through the book, they clearly had already been speaking for some time, judging by the empty gilt cups on the low table they were sitting at.

For a moment, Elsa was distracted from the conversation by how Merida looked. With her absence felt so keenly, it already brought a pang of longing to Elsa's heart but also a ferocious surge of lust. She was wearing one of the gauzy, whisper-thin gowns that all the well-off maidens in Agrabah tended to wear, wrapped tightly around her bosom and baring her milk-pale midriff. Her curls had been bound away with several strands of little pearls.

“Our blood is weak,” the sultana said, just as Elsa shook herself and tuned back in. “I blame the harems, and the men for being so foolish about them. I thought I would not suffer so when I married a man of low birth, but hah!”

She laughed loudly, her entire body shaking and clinking with the jewels in her clothes.

“Didn't you say you loved your husband?” Merida asked, a little boldly for someone who was only a recent addition to the court. Luckily, Sultana Jasmine seemed to find this amusing.

“I did. That was my weakness,” she sighed. “He was handsome and he spoke well, but he was weak. Agrabah is plagued by weakness.”

Just then, another woman walked into the chamber and sprawled across one of the cushions by the low table. She was stunning, similar in face to the sultana but her hair was a straight and glossy black sheet and her figure, bared as it was in the Agrabah fashion, was trim and supple.

“I want to hear more of your men,” she said, her familiarity leaving no doubt that she was most likely a grand-daughter to the sultana.

“You are entirely too bold,” the sultana scolded but with an amused grin.

��What's left that I didn't say?” Merida shrugged, sipping from the gilt cup and barely suppressing a grimace. “There's a lot of them and they are strong.”

“But are they handsome?” the woman asked.

“I suppose,” Merida said.

“A woman should want for more,” the sultana cautioned the woman.

“Strong and handsome, what else is there? I will be happy with a man who does not smell of goats!” the woman retorted.

“Goats, no. Sheep, maybe,” Merida quipped, to shrieking laughter from the woman and the sultana.

“Why did you call for me, Jida?” the woman asked the sultana when they had stopped laughing. “I am quite busy today...”

“That is a lie but I will forgive,” Sultana Jasmine said brusquely. “We have spoken much. I think it will be good for Agrabah to have dealings with Dunbroch, and I wish to see it done before I leave this world. Agrabah is rich in jewels, spice and trade but it is poor in blood. The blood of Dunbroch is strong, but it has need of an army and resources to feed an army.”

She poured a frothing liquid into the gilded cups and drank deeply before continuing.

“I do not propose to link our nations by blood carelessly. If Dunbroch can give me the best of its blood, then I can give Dunbroch the best of Agrabah's blood. Nadiya is the daughter of my best beloved son, she is clever and healthy and will have many healthy babies.”

The woman grinned at this compliment, smoothing her hair down with an air of pride.

“The men of Dunbroch would fight wars over her,” Merida agreed.

“There should be no need, I trust that you shall find the best of Dunbroch's sons for Nadiya,” the sultana said. “As for you...I could not hand you over to just anyone.”

Here it was. The thing Merida didn't want to write in the letter. A proposal.

“My best beloved son had a child with a woman from the Kogurin tribe. He is everything a prince should be, he is brave and wise and strong...”

“He is also handsome,” Nadiya added with a rakish grin.

“Quite handsome,” the sultana agreed. “He will never be in line for Agrabah's throne, not while my other sons have living sons of their own. None of my daughters or their daughters wish to take my title when I am gone, so the best of my blood I am putting in your hands.”

No Elsa felt like screaming, even though she knew this was a moment that had long past. Don't do it. Don't put your life in the hands of another man.

Merida hesitated, looked down at the table. Elsa could see she was desperately conflicted, and she was sure the sultana could see it too.

“Mirrikh is very serious,” Nadiya said after a moment of silence. “His mother's people rely on dreams and visions to see their future, and he has always said he would follow a dream he had when he was just a boy.”

This peaked Merida's interest. Knowing how superstitious the people of Dunbroch were, it was possibly the only way she would have even been interested in anything about this man.

“Ah yes, that same dream I had to hear about over and over when he was brought to me,” Sultana Jasmine sighed. “The fox that cheated the sun. He has been all over the seven seas looking for it.”

“And in that time, he has raised a formidable army,” Nadiya said. “He made friends and allies with just about every pirate in the ocean. There are hundreds of men who would walk into hell behind him.”

“Mirrikh would have no interest in your throne,” the sultana said, laying a comforting hand on Merida's arm. “He would father your children and bring you the heads of your enemies but he will always want to wander as he pleases. It is his destiny to chase the setting sun.”

“Let me think about it,” Merida said. “If Nadiya is happy to wed a man of Dunbroch, she'll find no shortage of men who want to be with her...but I've not even met this man....”

“Well, you will soon,” Nadiya told her. “I've written to him to tell him all about you. He thinks you are the key to his dream. All I had to say was that your hair was as red as a fox and you completed the burning race and he set sail.”

A look of absolute panic crossed Merida's face, but with that the vision was over and Elsa was back in the silence of Arendelle at night.

…..

She won't agree to it. She can't.

Even as she repeated the mantra to herself, Elsa knew it wasn't true. Royalty married other royalty for worse reasons than a possible prophetic dream. Merida's winning a desert race (and therefore 'tricking the sun' by racing at night) would have been a huge coincidence if a wisp hadn't lead directly to that path. Even the horse she used in the race had been the wisps' doing. There were two strands of destiny at work, trying to bring Merida and this Mirrikh person together.

Where does that leave me?

In Arendelle.

Alone.

…..

Anna and Kristoff were married in a beautiful ceremony attended by no less than twenty-thousand citizens, visitors and noble guests. Kristoff managed to shrug off his usual rough-around-the-edges charm to maintain a solemn dignity, though his eyes were suspiciously watery as he said his vows. Anna, naturally, cried about thirty different times about thirty different things throughout the day.

Elsa smiled and greeted and presided as well as could be expected. She was genuinely happy for her sister and for Kristoff, and it was easy as long as she kept that feeling at the surface. She could crumble that night in the safety of her bedroom, and she fully intended to.

Two weeks after the wedding, it was announced by the royal doctor that Anna was expecting.

“That was fast,” Elsa deadpanned when she visited the royal couple's quarters.

“Yeah, uh...” Anna laughed, blushing furiously. “It's not like they wanted us to wait when we did get married or anything, so we thought...”

“Nobody will be able to tell,” Elsa sighed. “What was the actual gap?”

“About a month,” Anna said quietly, sinking under her bedcovers.

“We'll just say it arrived early.”

“Okay.”

“You know, I think you're the first in our family that's ever had an actual bastard.”

“Hey,” Anna growled, sitting up. “I haven't even had it yet! Don't call it a bastard!”

Elsa went away laughing to herself. To think Kristoff and Anna couldn't hold off on each other long enough to avoid compromising the throne with a technically out-of-wedlock child!

And then she remembered that at that moment, the person she loved most was debating compromising her own throne with marriage to an out-of-wedlock man, and the laughter died in her throat.

…..

Note: Readers may be quite annoyed at this turn of events, but I would like to ask that you stick with it for a bit. I do not break up homosexual relationships to turn one half of the couple straight, this will be a more complex issue than that.

[aornff]

All or Nothing Chapter Twenty Five

Having fallen down a few fandom holes lately on top of my usual hectic schedule, this fic has been a bit sidelined, but come hell or high water it will be finished, hopefully by the end of this year. I'm planning a set of shorts about Disney Princesses in general which will feature Merida/Elsa but will be considerably more lighthearted, if you're interested in that sort of content. If not, the All or Nothing universe could always prompt some one-shots.

Note; this is my obligatory suggestion to check out my novel on Kindle: it's called The Hothouse Princesses, by S.A. Hemstock. If you like my work in fandom, you may like my original work.

…..

After the pain faded, though never really departed, what was left was a cold numbness.

The castle staff had noticed how subdued Elsa was and they worried, but she completed all of her queen's duties promptly and well, so there was no real reason to complain. They attributed her sadness to the departure of a good friend, nothing more. They assumed she would get over it, in time.

Anna was falling over herself to make Elsa feel better, to no avail.

“Look, I knew it was going to end,” she explained when Elsa snapped at her to leave her alone. “But I didn't want you to get hurt, you know that.”

“I'd rather be hurt than to have lived my entire life without knowing her,” Elsa told her, and shut the door in her face.

Life went back to normal so quickly it was almost hurtful in its own way. Merida's room was cleared out, her few left-behind possessions stored away and all traces of her seemed to vanish in a matter of days. It was like the only real impression she had left was her mark upon Elsa's heart.

All the same, the maids and other staff missed her presence. She had livened up their dour queen and brought some excitement in her wake, and things seemed dull without her. Anna was sulky and bored without her close girl-friend, but she had hopes that Merida would be back in time for her wedding to Kristoff.

A month after she left, Elsa sent for Meena, the prostitute who had once been thought of as a decent substitute for Merida. It took weeks to track her down, and when she arrived she could not have looked more different. Her pale red hair was still curled in that artificial way and her gaze was still as lusty and playful as ever, but her clothes were made of the richest material and she wore actual jewels that no prostitute should have been able to afford.

“You look well,” Elsa said, pouring her a glass of wine for old time's sake.

“As do you,” Meena replied with a cheeky wink. “I've quite risen in station since we last met. My husband is a baronet. We live in the country, it's rather boring but very pretty.”

“Husband? Congratulations.”

“That's not to say I don't have some fun when I choose to. Claude doesn't know, but I don't think it would shock him. Which is why I'm here, I assume.”

“You would assume wrong,” Elsa told her. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“You brought me all the way back here just to talk?” Meena said, raising an eyebrow. “I think not. I do know that your little friend became quite a bit more when I left...”

“Where did you here that?” Elsa said, suddenly nervous. They had managed to avoid gossip, so far...

“Oh, I wouldn't worry,” Meena demurred. “It's just brothel talk. They make these assumptions about all women who have close woman friends. I knew it was probably true, but I didn't say anything.”

“Oh,” Elsa sighed, leaning back in her chair.

“So something did happen, then,” Meena continued with a grin. “Was it good? She struck me as quite an innocent...”

“That's for me to know,” Elsa told her sharply.

“Fine,” Meena shrugged. “It matters not to me. I have you to thank for my wonderful husband, you know. Our marriage was arranged after my business with you came to an end, to keep me quiet I should think. Not that I would have said anything. So what do you want from me?”

“I don't know,” Elsa said hopelessly, and drunk heavily from her cup. “I thought that maybe if I drank enough wine you would look like her and I wouldn't feel so alone. I don't think that's going to work though.”

“No substitute for the real thing,” Meena said, but now her face softened and she relaxed. “I do think that's often the way with true love. If it's just lust anything will do, but when it's love...”

“She's gone to get her kingdom back,” Elsa said, more into her cup than to Meena. “She said she would come back, but what if she doesn't?”

“Then you love her from afar,” Meena offered. “It will feel like you want to die, but you won't. You will carry on. The human being is a strong creature.”

To carry on with a broken heart. It sounded like the worst thing in the world, but what choice did she really have?

…..

It was approaching three months since Merida's departure when a familiar cry from the tower she used to occupy caught Elsa's attention, close to midnight.

Lua.

Sure enough, once she thundered her way up the tower, the hawk was sitting on the ledge, keening impatiently at her. A strip of paper was secured to her leg, but she wouldn't let Elsa retrieve it until Elsa had gotten some meat from the kitchen to feed her. Unfurling the strip, the letters briefly told of what had been happening on Merida's journey, but carefully stuck to the paper with a wax seal were three hairs.

The book told the full story as though Elsa was there as it happened.

Merida had caught up with the convoy and joined the Belloza brothers, who were happy to have her. The two of them were terrible hunters and had been looking at living on old stale bread and dried fruit. Along the way they stopped in a small village made up of several good-sized farms, to pick up extra trading goods and refresh their horses.

Merida had been wandering near the outskirts when she came across a sorrel horse that broke its reins and galloped off towards the forest, a small farmer's boy chasing after it. She retrieved the animal for him after tracking it for almost an entire day, and though it pulled and snorted and tried to run off again she used her extensive skill with horses to convince it to obey her.

The farmers who owned the horse invited her to supper as thanks, and it transpired that the horse had been giving them trouble for a long time. It had been a foal born to their draughthorse mare after a war party passed through and a rogue destrier broke its bonds and mated with the mare. The resulting offspring was an animal a little too small to pull a plough and too flighty to haul goods. It had energy and stamina to spare but was easily bored and temperamental. Worse still, it was another mare, and it had a habit of jumping fences and running wild. They lived in fear that it would become pregnant with another difficult horse.

Merida immediately offered to swap the good-natured rouncey she had been given from Arendelle in exchange for the wild mare. She guessed correctly that the mare was an animal that needed excitement and to be worked hard at long distances, things it could never get on a farm. The rouncey was old and deserved a gentle home. The farmers thought their prayers had been answered.

She named the horse Macheen, in honour of Dunbroch's goddess of horses and war, and broke her in carefully over the course of three days before they left the village. Once properly broken, the mare was as steady and obedient as any horse bred for battle. She kept pace with the caravan and hunted with Merida in the evenings as camps were set up. Twice she outran bandits looking to steal from the supply lines and on one occasion kicked a wolf in the jaw. She was as fierce and fearless as Merida herself.

Elsa guessed, but had not seen, that a wisp had lead Merida to this horse. It was too good to be mere chance; Macheen's coat was even close in colour to Merida's hair. When the caravan pulled close to the Rohima outskirts, she found that she was right.

Merida broke away from the caravan for some reason she didn't disclose, and came across a notice about a race across the desert that was an annual event in this region. It was open to anyone who thought their animal could make the journey.

When Merida told the Bellozas, they were horrified. They were very fond of Merida, and warned her that not only was the desert perilous with its scorching heat, poisonous creatures, shifting sands and predators, but the race was routinely battled out between men because no woman was foolhardy enough to throw her lot in with the kind of men it attracted.

“So I'll disguise myself as a boy,” Merida shrugged. “They won't even know I'm there.”

The Bellozas begging and pleading (and, at least once, crying) wouldn't dissuade her, so they had no choice but to help her enter the race. The elder brother registered her as his teenage nephew, and although the scarred and weather-beaten men also entering scoffed at a fresh-faced youth and a barely-adult horse running the race, they didn't pick up anything different about her.

She started the race in nearly last place, but she had a secret advantage to the other racers. In their bravado the men subjected their animals to the intense sun that always killed a huge number of them. Merida would not risk Macheen succumbing to the heat, so they took shelter wherever they could during the day and only raced at night well into the dawn of the next morning. Merida's night vision was fine-tuned, and Macheen trusted her rider.

They finished the race in third place, just behind two veterans of the race and to the immense shock of the crowds that had gathered to see the end. Once safely with the Bellozas and their guard, she was able to reveal that she was female to the race's officiators, to an incredulous silence from the spectators.

She did not win money or even glory, but something even more valuable; she had caught the eye of someone important.

Two days after the race's end, an envoy called to the camp as they were preparing to leave, looking for Merida. An official from the sultanate of Agrabah had been watching the race and sent word back to his ruler, the sultana, of what had happened. She wanted to meet with Merida in person, and invited her to Agrabah for an audience. That was where the memory ended, and the scenery that the book provided dissolved.

What remained in the letter said that Merida parted ways with the Bellozas to be escorted to Agrabah by the sultana's own personal guard, and that she was nervous about meeting this woman. Elsa wrote a few lines back, telling her that to her knowledge the sultana was a good woman with a kind heart. She added that she missed her, and asked her to stay safe.

It was a lot to take in; in a short space of time, Merida had managed to perhaps gain the favour of another formidable ruler.

You will make a powerful ally and return a hundred times stronger.

Was this where the prophecy had been leading her all this time?

Elsa struggled to remember the little she knew about Agrabah and its sultana.

She must be nearly a hundred by now. No, a little less. She's been ruling for eighty years.

The sultan of Agrabah had died young, Elsa's grandfather had sent condolences when her own father was just a child. They had a number of sons but none of them had taken the throne, Sultana Jasmine had done it herself. There had been succession wars and she had won them all.

There were whispers that dark magic was involved, that Sultana Jasmine had made an alliance with a demon to gain control over her husband's title. There was a rumour that her husband had come from humble beginnings but that his alliance with the demon had bought him the princesses' hand.

Elsa was afraid. What sort of woman was this sultana? Could she be trusted?

But then, she supposed the wisps knew what they were doing. They had lead Merida to Elsa, lead her out of Arendelle, lead her into the race and now lead her into this woman's care. Maybe they would eventually lead her back to Elsa again.

[aornff]

absolutely love your frozen/brave fanfic! a lot of details and character/world building. you can see the hard work behind each chapter :) now I wanted to ask how long you want this story to be? are we near the end or far from it? because I am really exicited for merida's revenge :)

We’re still quite a ways from the end, the story I built up in my head is fairly complex and I don’t want to do a boom! the end type of thing, I like to let things fade out naturally. Merida��s path back to Dunbroch is going to take a while to set up, as a bit of a history nut I have read up on the lives of fugitive monarchs. 

I’m very happy to hear that you’re enjoying it, and I’m delighted that you took the time to write to me. I really appreciate it. 

[aornff]

All or Nothing Chapter Twenty Four

…..

Apologies for the long delay in getting this latest chapter, I have two reasons besides my usual hectic schedule. One reason is that I fell down a fandom hole for a bit, a fandom I hadn't been a part of since I was a child, and I got caught up in that.

The other reason is that I finally finished and published a novel. I decided to go the self-publish route on Amazon, that way I could concentrate on writing more often for both original works and fandom works. I'm going to be a bit cheeky and post the link to my novel here, if you've enjoyed All or Nothing or indeed any of my other works I think you'd enjoy The Hothouse Princesses. For a limited time, you can get it for free, I only ask that if you do that you'd leave an honest review.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BGSPPBY

And now, back to your regularly scheduled angst.

…..

Elsa thought she knew loneliness. She had been lonely for most of her life, she thought she knew it as surely as breathing, sleeping, walking.

But having someone so close and then having them pull away was a whole new kind of loneliness she had never experienced. It was like something had been torn out of her, as painful and visceral as a bloody wound.

At the same time, she felt awful for subjecting Merida to this confinement. She knew Merida missed her home and family, and she knew how much faith she put in the wisps. She was afraid that not following the wisp would anger the spirits somehow.

(Anna was the one who told her of Merida's worries, in a vain attempt to convince Elsa to let her go.)

As miserable as they both were, Elsa couldn't bring herself to even think about letting Merida go. However hard it was to be apart from her now, it would hurt much more to see her leave Arendelle.

…..

She'd been walking around the castle restlessly, while all the rest of the residents were sleeping, when she came across Merida in the library.

She was curled up on one of the window seats, an open book dropped on the floor beside her. What she'd been doing in there was achingly clear; the market was just about visible from the library's windows. How long had she been keeping vigil there?

Elsa tiptoed over to her; she was sound asleep. It was nice to see her without all the anger that had been written into her expression recently. It filled Elsa with longing.

She can't stay angry forever. She'll come around.

The heat from the nearby fire had burnished her cheeks pink. Her mouth was slightly open, her lips moving slightly in time with her breathing.

A kiss won't hurt. I won't even wake her.

Elsa wrestled with the urge for a moment, but it overpowered her. She supposed, having gone so long without the tactile pleasure of human contact, she was addicted to the way Merida made her feel. She leaned in gently and put her mouth on the sleeping girl's, barely touching her.

But...

Oh I have missed you so!

That barely-there kiss fired the longing in her more desperately than ever. Moreover, Merida had felt it but instead of curling away from Elsa she smiled in her sleep, turned over more onto her back. Almost like she was encouraging Elsa to keep going.

You can't think like that. It's not right.

Elsa dimly recalled that one drunken night when she'd gotten carried away and taken liberties she had no right to take. She recalled how awful she had felt the next morning, and if she went further she wouldn't have drunkenness as an excuse.

And yet...

She leaned in again, a deeper kiss this time, promising herself that she would be satisfied with just that. Oh, but Merida mumbled something under her breath, her eyes moved under her eyelids, perhaps she wouldn't push Elsa away. Perhaps she had missed Elsa just as much, in her own way.

Elsa ran her fingers through Merida's hair, trailed a finger down the curve of her jaw, traced the line of her collarbone, all those familiar places she had come to love so well. Merida's eyelids flickered, she mumbled something again. Elsa pressed a little more firmly, and finally her eyes opened.

Groggy, she peered up at Elsa, who smiled somewhat sheepishly down at her.

“Stop,” she moaned, closing her eyes and turning on her side a little.

She said stop.

But she didn't push me away.

It was dangerous thinking, Elsa knew that. But....Merida was half-asleep, almost fully asleep again. If she was upset wouldn't she have protested more?

Elsa hovered over Merida, not close enough to touch but just barely. She pressed small, lingering kisses across her hair, her brow, her cheek, her neck. Merida made a sound low in her throat, a sound Elsa knew well. It was the kind of sound she usually made when she was thoroughly enjoying what Elsa was doing to her body.

You have missed me! I know you...

Reckless with longing, Elsa turned her just enough to bring their bodies closer together. Her lips fastened onto a spot at the juncture of Merida's neck where it tapered into her shoulder. She was particularly sensitive there. Her hands trailed over Merida's shoulders, down her arms, to her wrists, to thread their fingers together.

She knew Merida was awake now. She could feel her quickened heartbeat in the pulse under her tongue. She heard the hitching in her breath.

“Elsa, stop,” she heard Merida say, but it was as if she was very far away, it was so quiet.

If you truly want me to stop, you can push me away.

Merida had never been shy about pushing Elsa away if Elsa's passions were overwhelming her. It was strange to hear her refuse with just words.

You're conflicted, I know. You can still be angry with me, just please let us have this.

Elsa's trailing fingers caught the edge of Merida's wool skirt and slowly pushed it up, just far enough to find her bare thigh.

Something's not right.

Usually, Merida loved it when Elsa touched her there. Even when she was angry, or not feeling well, or just too tired to fully respond. It was usually the one thing she allowed Elsa to do no matter what kind of mood she was in. But she wasn't responding the way she always had before. Elsa pulled away a little, moved her hands back up to Merida's arms...

Oh.

Oh, no.

At some point, probably just as her hands had been moving over Merida's wrists, she had manifested two rings of ice. Not particularly big or strong, but just enough to wrap around Merida's hands to keep them pinioned to the window seat. Elsa stared at the rings, horrified.

“Oh God....” she muttered, pulling the ice back into her hands as fast as she could. “I'm sorry, I didn't....I wasn't....”

She shrank back, still muttering platitudes and apologies. Now she could see Merida's face, and it was deathly pale. Her eyes were wide, unblinking. She rubbed at the spot where the ice had chafed her skin, absently.

“I didn't realize....that's never happened before, please believe me....I would have stopped if I....” Elsa sputtered, wanting to say a hundred things but only managing a scattered few.

She told me to stop.

Why didn't I stop?

She'd been kidding herself, waiting to be physically pushed away when subconsciously she had prevented Merida from pushing her away.

“Please say something,” she begged Merida. “I didn't mean for this to happen, please believe me...”

It was amazing how calm Merida was, she sat up slowly and adjusted her clothing, but wouldn't look Elsa in the eye. She didn't even seem upset. Right up until she put her feet on the ground, and then she bolted for the door.

Elsa just meant to reach out for her, nothing more. The ice had other plans.

It caught Merida's hand at the wrist and formed a pillar around it, anchoring her effectively to the floor. A fresh wave of horror washed over Elsa; once could be called an accident, twice looked very deliberate.

“Okay, let's not panic,” she said in what she hoped was a soothing tone. “I'll just...”

“Let me go!” Merida cried, digging her heels into the base of the ice pillar and kicking at it as hard as she could. That high frenzied note in her voice hurt to hear.

“I will, I will,” Elsa nodded so hard her teeth clattered. “I'm sorry, I just....I'm sorry....”

She took a step forward, and Merida shrank back as far as the ice would allow.

“Don't touch me!” she growled. “Let me go!”

Just then, the door to the library opened and Anna's head poked in, her head messy from sleep. She was carrying a cup of cocoa.

“I heard noise, what's going on?” she asked innocently.

Perhaps the appearance of Anna had affected Elsa's control of the ice, or perhaps Merida had broken through most of the ice already, but whatever the cause before Anna had finished her sentence Merida's hand was pulled out of the ice and she was gone, leaving a glittering trail of ice shards behind her.

Elsa sank onto the window seat and put her head in her hands.

“What did you do now?” Anna asked, not unkindly.

…..

The merchants had set off, without Merida, exactly as Elsa had wanted. The Belloza brothers had even called by the castle to see if Merida was still going to take them up on their offer, but they were sent away.

Elsa could not bring herself to be happy about it. She hadn't seen Merida at all since the night she had betrayed her trust (without meaning to, but it was a betrayal all the same) and Anna, when asked, just said that she was understandably upset. She didn't join them for meals anymore, and only ever left her room to feed the hawk.

The overheard gossip from the castle staff said she had reverted back to how she had been in the first few weeks she'd been at Arendelle, back to the 'little red ghost.' The staff openly wondered what she had done to deserve house arrest at the command of the queen, but none of them seemed to think their was any kind of romance involved. That was fortunate, at least.

Painful as it was, Elsa knew now it was over. There was no way to go back to how they had been, and to keep Merida here any longer under these circumstances would slowly kill her.

She called Merida into her office late into the evening. Merida came without a fuss. She didn't look good. She looked exhausted, drawn, too thin. All the same, Elsa's eyes drank her in greedily. She would never be any less than beautiful to her eyes.

“New house rules, I'm guessing,” Merida croaked, her eyes fixed on the edge of the table.

“Not quite,” Elsa replied, trying hard to keep the tremor out of her voice. “I've arranged for the captain of the guard to escort you out of the city. Word has been sent to the Belloza convoy to wait for you at the next trading post.”

Merida looked up, caught Elsa's eyes, and oh, that hopeful glint was wonderful to see but hurt like hell.

“You should be able to catch up with them if you leave in the next hour,” she continued, swallowing down the lump in her throat. “I've had the staff pack a travel bag for you, all the essentials. A travel cage for Lua. We could only give you a rouncey to make the journey, but you may be able to trade it for a more suitable horse once you're past the Rohiman trade gate. There's enough money in the bag to pay mercenaries if you need them, but as long as you stay close to the trade caravans you should be safe.”

As long as I keep talking, I won't cry.

“I know I have no right to demand anything of you after what I've done,” Elsa said, tearing a little hole in her sleeve. “But I want you to write to me as often as you can, so that I know you are safe. Please send a hair if you can, so I can see for myself.”

A tear managed to squeeze its way out from under her eyelid, and she let it fall.

“I don't expect you to forgive me,” she said as more tears threatened to fall. “I just want you to know that it was never my intent to hurt you the way I have. I am so sorry. I will never stop being sorry.”

She broke off with a sob, and pushed it back harshly to regain some composure.

“You will have to make your goodbyes quick, the sun is setting....”

She was abruptly cut off by the suddenness of Merida's mouth on hers, and her arms clenched around her. It was so unexpected Elsa nearly collapsed. Then, just as suddenly, it was gone.

“I will come back,” Merida told her fiercely, holding Elsa's face in her hands. “I promise you.”

It was better than Elsa could have hoped for. She had been forgiven.

…..

Merida was gone before the sunset. Elsa managed to hold herself together through a tense, emotional dinner with Anna and Kristoff, through an adviser's meeting, through half a dozen reports that tied up all of the loose ends from the three years Merida lived in the castle. In another twenty-four hours, it would be like she had never been there.

As midnight approached and the last of the castle staff went to bed, Elsa wandered out of the castle. She stepped onto the ocean, freezing a path for herself over the waves. She walked and walked until she couldn't see land anymore.

There, she lay fully down with her face on the ice. She cleared a little hole there, into the ocean, and pressed her face into it. Staring into the inky black depths, she let herself scream.

She screamed and screamed until her throat was on fire. A spike of ice ran from her body down through the water into the deepest reaches of the ocean and still she screamed. She screamed until the pain in her heart was matched equally with the pain in her body.

…..

Note: this would be a very depressing place to leave it, right? Good thing I'm not finished.

[aornff]

All or Nothing Chapter 23

All or Nothing

Chapter Twenty Three

Please excuse yet another delay on this story, I had to take a trip and I'm back now. Services will resume.

Note: This fic is far from over. Please do not let the events of this chapter and the ones after put you off the story.

…..

For all that Anna's relationship with Elsa was frosty (now slowly thawing, thank goodness), she and Merida were still on good terms. They spent long winter evenings in Anna's parlour together, drinking hot cider in front of the fire and laughing so much and so loudly Elsa could hear them from her office.

It irritated her, just a little. She couldn't begrudge Merida a friend in a foreign nation (though there was that little sting that Elsa wasn't enough for her, somehow) but it still felt like Anna was being childish about the whole affair.

She wondered if Anna had told Kristoff anything.

“Of course not,” Anna  hissed when asked. “It's not gossip, for God's sake...”

“Maybe you should tell him,” Elsa replied coolly. “He is going to be a member of the royal household soon. He should know that his future sister-in-law is an abomination.”

Anna rolled her eyes.

“For the last time, you know that's not what I think,” she said snippily. “You might as well go have torrid love affairs with all the chambermaids for all I care, whatever, no big deal. It's that you had to have this affair.”

“You can't control who you fall in love with,” Elsa retorted. “You know that better than anyone.”

“Oh, I do,” Anna laughed, tapping on a stack of papers on Elsa's desk. “If I'd known it was this complicated to marry him....but the heart wants what it wants.”

“Yes, it does.”

“I don't blame you for falling in love, or her...”

Does she love me? Has she said so to you?”

“...but this is going to end badly. I can feel it.”

Said like that, it was like a prophecy. She just had no way of knowing just how soon it might come true.

….

The cold spell lifted, and although there was still powdery snow on the ground the markets re-opened and the traders went right back to selling their wares. Merida was out of the castle gates as soon as she got the all-clear; she had been happy enough to stay in the castle during the heavy snows, but she was a creature of the outdoors above all else.

Elsa wasn't expecting her back until near nightfall. She jumped when Merida clattered into her office before midday.

“I saw a wisp,” she gasped, wild-eyed. Her cloak was half-off, still clinging to one shoulder.

“What?” Elsa said quizzically. She handed her a cup of water, Merida looked out of breath.

“I saw a wisp,” she repeated after gulping down the water. “At the spice merchant's stall. It was waiting for me. I saw it in the snow before, but I couldn't get to it.”

Elsa knew what a wisp was; she'd seen flickers of them in Merida's memories, and heard Merida speak of them more than once. Still, she played ignorant. Something about the wisps, little creatures that already knew your future and appeared just to beckon you in some vague direction, frightened her.

“What would a wisp be doing here?” she said with a warm chuckle, as if indulging some small child's stories.

“It's here to lead me back,” Merida answered, her breath evening out. She sounded certain, dead-set. “That's why I've been here so long. It was waiting for the right time to lead me back.”

Elsa felt the slow trickle of ice run up her spine, through her blood, out through her fingertips to crackle on the wood of the desk in front of her, with every word Merida spoke. She had been there for almost three years. They had been together for only a few months.

She had always known it would end, some day, and it would break her heart. She didn't expect it to be so soon.

Merida was still talking, about the wisp, about how the spice merchant was leaving soon for the coast and had offered to take her with his caravan, maps and winter clothes and weapons and sending Lua from new outposts....

“Stop,” Elsa said, holding up a shaking hand. “Just...stop.”

Merida trailed off, looking confused. As if she didn't know....

“It's midwinter,” she said. “The ports are frozen over. The mountains are snowed in. And aside from the travel conditions, you don't know these spice merchants and if you think I'm going to let you wander off with complete strangers...”

“I do know them,” Merida said with a frown. “Cosimo and Giancamo Belloza. From Losanta.”

How long has she known them?

“Be that as it may,” Elsa continued, a note of ice creeping into her voice. “Jumping across countries on the whim of some creature you haven't seen in years isn't just dangerous, it's downright insane. The spice merchants will be going East, towards Dionhae. That's as far from Dunbroch as you can get.”

Merida shrugged, infuriatingly casual.

“The witch said I would leave Dunbroch, make a powerful ally and return stronger. The wisp lead me out of Dunbroch, it's trying to lead me now. If that's Dionhae, so be it.”

There was no clear thought, no plan, not even a vague idea of what was going to happen, but Merida was willing to drop everything and follow this...demon...off to wherever. It was infuriating.

And there was that little stab of hurt that Elsa had always imagined herself to be that prophecized powerful ally, despite Arendelle's lack of a formidable army and a shaky economy built around good relationships with all their neighbours. Merida had never seen her that way, she knew now.

“You don't speak Dionhese,” she retorted, trying and failing to keep the building anger out of her voice. “Or even standard Rohiman, for that matter...”

“The Bellozas do,” Merida countered. “I can pick it up on the way. I did fine with Dellian, didn't I?”

“The spice road is notoriously dangerous, especially for women,” Elsa continued. “Slave traders from the South pass through all the time, not to mention bandits...”

“So do mercenaries,” Merida shrugged. “All the caravans have decent guard. And I can protect myself if it comes to that.”

It sounded like Merida had given it a lot of thought, and that just made Elsa more fearful.

“Look, I know why you're worried,” Merida said, softening a little as she reached for Elsa's hand. “But we both knew I was going to have to leave some time. It doesn't mean we won't ever see each other again...once I've got my husband's head on a pike, who knows....”

She was still talking, but Elsa couldn't hear her over the pounding of her heart. She knew what this meant. Merida would leave and find someone else and never come back, might never even think of Elsa again unless a fall of snow triggered a memory in her. Or she'd win back her kingdom and return, but the ocean between Dunbroch and Arendelle would take days to cross, and with each day spent away from her she would grow more distant. Even now, a single day away from her filled Elsa with agonizing longing.

“You can't,” she blurted out.

Merida pulled her hand away sharply, frowning.

“My brothers have been stuck on an island for three years,” she said, quietly but firmly. “My people have been in hiding for three years. I've been waiting for the wisp to lead me back, I would never have stayed so long if I hadn't. I have to go.”

The ice bubbled in Elsa's blood, rushing to her fingertips.

“No. I forbid it,” she growled.

Now Merida stood, pushed back her chair, cheeks flushed pink with anger and, to Elsa's eyes, lovelier than ever.

“You're not my queen,” she told her as she marched to the door. “You can't stop me!”

“Yes, I can!”

The cold flew from her fingers with a burst, coating the entire door in a layer of thick glassy ice just as Merida's hand was about to touch the door handle. Merida drew back her hand with a shocked little gasp, and for a fleeting moment Elsa worried that a stray shard had caught her, as it had Anna so long ago.

But in the next moment, Merida had taken the fire poker from the corner and broken through the ice, and with one last furious glance back at Elsa she was gone.

As Elsa left her office, the captain of the guard was watching Merida's form retreat down the hallway. He stood to attention when Elsa cleared her throat.

“Your highness?”

“At ease,” she said, suddenly drained of all energy. “I need to issue an edict.”

“Of course, your highness.”

“Princess Merida of Dunbroch is hereby confined to quarters, for her own safety.”

The captain shot a concerned glance at his nearby troops, concern that was echoed back.

“I will spread the word, your highness. Specifics.”

“Place a guard at her door and her window, she is permitted to visit the library and the west tower to feed her falcon, but beyond that she must be accompanied at all times. And she cannot leave the castle until further notice.”

It was an easy area to fortify. Elsa wasn't naive enough to think Merida wouldn't attempt to break through any windows she could access, or scale a wall, or shimmy down a pipe. All she needed to do was keep her confined for a few days, until she came to her senses.

Or just until the spice caravans left without her.

…..

The next few days were hard.

Elsa had expected (hoped) that Merida would come to her begging her to lift the house arrest. She could reason with her after the heat of the argument had died down and realize that she was being foolish to throw her life away on the whim of some mysterious spirit. They would make love and the whole ordeal would be put to rest.

She should have known better.

Ceilts were a race of people beholden to the spirits, they trusted them implicitly while having no idea what motive their spirits were working towards. Not to mention the idea of Merida begging for anything was about as unlikely as the Dellian council approving a marriage between them.

She had reacted to confinement with a fury that was frightening. The guards had had to chase her across the courtyard more than once after she'd slipped out a window or across a gutter, and it took six full-grown men to get her back inside. When Elsa froze the shutters on her window two feet thick, she spent hours chipping away at them with the butter knife she'd saved from her breakfast tray. Almost the entire garrison was stationed around possible exit routes.

When Elsa tried to talk to her, she refused to speak Dellian, only Gaelic. Elsa was quite sure she was being called all sorts of horrible names and cursed to hell and back, but she insisted after every time that it was for Merida's own good. This was usually met with an angry snort and Merida slamming the door in her face.

Anna was angry too, not quite as furious as Merida (as if anyone could be) but angry enough.

“This is a new low,” she growled when she first heard. “Everyone is going to know what's going on. Everyone! And you might as well have thrown her in the dungeon, you know she hates being cooped up inside! Don't you care?”

“It's just for a little while,” Elsa told her wearily. “What else can I do?”

“Anything but this!” Anna retorted. “Seriously, what's your end goal here? You're going to make her hate you, and that'll just make her want to leave even more! You can't lock her up forever!”

A little slice of madness, at the deepest corner of Elsa's mind, whispered to her.

Yes, I can.

If she couldn't keep her in the castle, she'd find another way. Her palace on the mountain. It was remote, almost inaccessible. She could make it stronger, higher, so that no man or woman could get in.

Or out.

[aornff]

All or Nothing  Chapter 22

All or Nothing

Chapter 22

A quick author's note: to anyone who has asked, please don't worry, I have not forgotten this fic and it will be finished. Since the start of the year things have been very busy for me, but I have a lot more free time over the summer so I'm hoping to update more regularly.

On that note, I'd ask you that if you enjoy the story to please review, even a short one. They really help to keep me motivated and to find time to work on my writing, each and every one means a lot to me. Thank you for sticking with me so far.

…..

“Awk-ross,” Elsa tried, knowing it was wrong even before the word left her mouth.

“No,” Merida mumbled, distractedly. “Softer in the throat. Ocras.”

She sounded half-asleep, and indeed it was past midnight. Elsa's idea of having a nice relaxing bath together in her marble tub was working a little too well. The bath wasn't big enough for them both, but with Merida's back against the slope and Elsa lying back on her chest with her legs dangling out over the other end it was quite cosy.

“Osh-russ,” she tried again.

“That's too soft.”

“I quite think your people made up this language to confuse outsiders,” Elsa teased, winding a lock of Merida's hair around her finger and letting it unfurl itself.

“Fear Foghlamtha managed well enough,” Merida yawned.

“Yes, well, Myohenese is even more difficult,” Elsa muttered. “Their alphabet has over 600 characters.”

Abruptly, Merida's body seemed to wake up beneath Elsa, and with a sinking stomach she realized her mistake.

“Did I say he was from Myohen?” Merida asked. “We don't know where he was from....”

Panicking a little but trying to keep calm, Elsa filtered the rising cold in her fingertips away from the bathwater towards the floor, disguising it as a stretch.

“I guessed,” she said with a feigned casual laugh. “Most scholars are from Myohen, they travel all over the world so often. I imagine one must have gotten into trouble and ended up on some mysterious shore.”

Thankfully, Merida seemed to accept this. Elsa felt weak with relief.

“If you think that's bad,” she started, trying to change the subject without looking too suspicious, “Corona once had a language that was a hybrid of three others. It was awfully confusing before they switched over to Dellian.”

“Why did they do that?” Merida asked, the sleep creeping back into her voice.

“The last full Coronese king died with no heirs in the Southern Crusades,” Elsa answered. “The distant cousin they tossed onto the throne was raised in Sangonelle, and the princess he married was from Nullarty. Converting to Dellian was just easier for everyone.”

“Your cousin is from Corona, isn't she?” Merida asked.

“Yes, she's the crown princess.”

“The one who went missing?”

Anna had probably told her the story.

“Yes,” she said. “Thank goodness they finally found her when they did. She was their only heir.”

“Why didn't they have any other children?” Merida asked.

Elsa had asked that same question when she was younger, and her nursemaid at the time mumbled something about the queen being too sad to have any more babies. She didn't realize until she was older that infertility was a plague amongst the royal families, the Corona line in particular. Carrying Rapunzel had nearly killed Corona's queen, and even after the magic flower had been given to her she was no longer able to bear a living child. And of course Elsa's mother had her own issues with the daughters she had borne....

“Our royal bloodlines make for rather delicate women,” she explained away, not wanting to go into all the details. “We don't tend to have big families.”

Merida whispered something under her breath in Gaelic, as she often did when something Dellian seemed silly or confusing or just off to her. Elsa turned in the bath to press her face to Merida's breasts, kissing the tip of the left one fondly.

“You don't have such problems in Dunbroch, clearly,” she sighed.

“No heirs is no problem,” Merida told her. “They just find someone else to be king.”

“It's that simple?” Elsa laughed.

“Yes. The throne passes to the eldest child. If eldest child is no good, someone has to challenge him or her, and whoever wins keeps the throne.”

That was a novel way of dealing with the succession issue.

“Why would anyone want the throne if they could be killed for it at any time?” Elsa puzzled. She knew Merida's people were fond of battle, but it seemed chaotic in theory...

“Nobody dies in challenge,” Merida told her. “Not on purpose anyway. Dad won seventeen challenges, three of them were against MacGuffin.”

Put that way, it seemed a lot more simple.

“He certainly earned his throne,” Elsa said weakly.

Merida nodded, but her jaw was tight and Elsa could practically hear what she was thinking.

Warrick cheated. He should have fought for the throne like a real king. Coward.

Elsa wanted to distract her, coax her into sex for solace, but she fought it back. Instead she wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her as close as she could, feathering chaste kisses along her her breastbone.

…..

Winter was closing in fast, and it was a particularly bad one even by Elsa's standards. If she interfered, it would disrupt the balance of the climate for the rest of the year, but every day seemed to bring a new request from farmers, mayors, factories, merchants and lay people of every description. Finally she issued an ordinance that Arendelle go into lockdown until the worst of the snows had passed. Production would cease, food from the granaries would be distributed on a weekly basis and any and all travel had to be kept to a minimum.

Secretly, Elsa was thrilled. Lockdown meant more time spent in her study and bedroom, as it was more efficient to keep the large drafty ballrooms and conference rooms locked and unheated. It meant more time for slipping back and forth through the sally port, at any hour of the day or night.

Their lovemaking, which had up to this point been quiet and a touch frenzied, became a lot more indolent, more tactile. There were days when the only movement Merida made from the bed was to duck behind it when someone knocked with Elsa's meals. There were also days when Elsa didn't see her at all, and the absence was a bone-deep ache, like something had been carved out of her.

Anna joined her for dinner in her study every now and then, making a point of not talking about Elsa and Merida's relationship. Even something relatively innocent, like noticing that the wool on Anna's skirt was thinner than that of Merida's was shut down.

“I don't want to hear it,” Anna muttered, stirring her stew with sharp irritated movements.

“I just want to know if the dressmaker's...”

“I said, I don't want to hear it!”

“Anna, don't be childish,” Elsa chided.

“Sorry, not wanting to know all the details of your sex life....your illegal sex life....is childish now, is it?”

“For God's sake, Anna, it's just a bloody question about skirt material,” Elsa snapped.

“And how close you had to get to notice a difference,” Anna retorted.

“Are you really going to do this with everything I ask you about? Merida is part of my life, I can't just not talk about her....”

“I don't care,” Anna growled low. “It doesn't matter what you say to me, but you're getting careless. It's just me now, but how long do you think you can keep this a secret? Someone's going to notice sooner or later!”

A shiver ran down Elsa's spine. Anna was right. They had been careless, especially since the lockdown. There were many times they came close to being caught, and just laughed it off like it was a joke.

Merida scoffed when Elsa told her they would have to be more careful, but she did as she was told. She came through the sally port only at night, as she had done before, and kept her voice down. But having that little bit of freedom to act as she wanted and having it snatched away again made Elsa sullenly angry. It made her realize how fragile their whole arrangement was.

She wanted nothing more at this time than to be challenged for the throne, as Dunbroch's rulers were. She could fight with her ice and lose. A stronger, smarter, more suitable ruler could take Arendelle's throne. She could leave Arendelle and be with Merida, wherever Merida wanted to be.

Even fantasizing about it, an idle thought, it was depressingly clear that would never happen. Arendelle's throne was hers, more than Merida ever would be.

…..

That sullen anger had been building as the winter winds raged on, and she took to wandering the mostly-empty castle to soothe her nerves. Occasionally she caught sight of Kristoff jogging to the kitchen from his quarters in the base of the castle, or Anna cycling through the empty ballrooms in her winter cloak. Maids and household staff hurried around their tasks, trying to get back to the warm kitchen hearth before nightfall.

Increasingly, she noticed higher-level staffers talking to Merida, the steward in particular, and the captain of the guard. They were both young men, mid-twenties, and although Elsa was sure Merida was interested in nothing more than polite conversation during the boring seclusion she was less sure of the men's intentions. They would not dare be so familiar with a member of the royal family, but in their eyes Merida was a refugee, albeit a noble one.

She watched them from the upper balustrade, the captain saying something that made Merida snort with laughter, the man visibly glowing from her attention. That spike of anger grew as she watched him escort her away somewhere, down the hall.

He has no reason to talk to her. No reason to even look at her.

When she lifted her hands from the balustrade, it was covered with ice. The structure underneath was full of gradually spreading cracks.

…..

She found Merida in the library, wrapped in half a dozen blankets on the window box, a couple of books open around her. But she wasn't looking at the books. She was staring out the window, frowning.

“Merida?” Elsa called, and Merida jumped.

“In ainm Dé!” she shouted in Gaelic. “You gave me a fright...”

“I'm sorry,” Elsa apologized, closing the distance and kissing her head lightly. “I didn't mean to sneak up on you.”

“It's fine,” she mumbled, stretching under the blankets. “I was distracted...”

“What were you looking at?”

Elsa peered out the window herself, but it was an endless expanse of inky black and swirling white. The same thing they'd seen every day for close to two months.

“I thought I saw something,” Merida said. “Must have imagined it.”

She was reluctant to say what she thought she had seen, so Elsa didn't press her. She sat across from her in the window box, picked up a book and poked her own feet under the blanket nest to rub gently against Merida's.

But when she looked up from her book again, Merida was still staring out of the window.

[aornff]

Wow, this is amazing and I’m honoured you enjoyed the series enough to make art of it, you are very talented!

I’m on a break for a bit as IRL things are a bit messy, but I should be back writing by the end of this month.

Was rereading some of @aornff‘s fics, and ended up wanting to draw Merida as she appears there. Nice drawing.

[aornff]

Keeping this here for easy access, I have catching up to do!

Call for Submissions:A Sapphic Disney Zine

This is the first zine that I have ever created and I’m hoping that people will be interested in participating in this project. This zine will feature women loving women from anything Disney, including their movies, cartoons, and the abc family show Once Upon a Time. I’m looking for fanart, comics, and fanfic oneshots.

Here’s What You Need to Know:

The submission date is May 15, 2017.

This zine is rated PG-13, can include implied nudity.

If you are submitting fanart, the minimum size is 1460 x 2070 pixels CYMK file .png or .jpg or larger. 

If you are submitting a fanfic, the maximum word count is 1,000 words. 

How to Submit: 

Submit final work to sapphicdisneyzine@gmail.com. I will let you know if you make it in by no later then the deadline, May 15.

If you have any questions or concerns feel to send me a message through tumblr or the email stated above.

[aornff]

Sure, why not?

Send me an anonymous ask completing the sentence "I wish you would write a fic where..."

[aornff]

All or Nothing Chapter Twenty-One

…..

Late autumn brought the beginnings of the winter chill to the borders of Arendelle, and the country's farmers were finishing up their harvesting and filling their granaries when Arendelle's high council decided it was high time they hosted a harvest ball.

Any and all parties had been tiptoed around since the notorious coronation incident. They had a yule celebration the year after, and they had celebrated Anna's birthdays and her official engagement to Kristoff. Visiting traders were allowed to celebrate their national holidays in the open market and the local townspeople held spring festivals and summer fetes without any input from the royal family or the council. Elsa was perfectly happy with this.

“Anna can host it,” she told Holm, who had been sent to speak to her. “She'd be delighted to.”

Holm grunted under his breath (as she knew he would) and shook his head.

“You have not been seen properly in public for far too long, your highness,” he told her sternly. “There are rumours amongst the townspeople that you are on your deathbed.”

Elsa groaned into her hands, mostly to get on Holm's nerves. Of all of her advisors, she found him the most irritating.

“I dispelled the early snows on the balcony just last week. I looked healthy enough then, right? No reason to throw a ball....”

“It's not just for the benefit of the townspeople,” he continued. “Our foreign trade officials would like to speak to you outside of office, and some royal visitors would do wonders for your public image...”

“Is my public image suffering then?” she asked snidely.

He didn't answer, just stared her down.

“Fine, fine,” she grumbled. “Throw the damn ball. I'll sign whatever you need me to.”

…..

“I know it doesn't make any sense,” she explained to Merida later. “Don't focus on the name. It's just a big party.”

“Why don't you people just make new words when you need them?” Merida grumbled, idly tracing circles on the sheets.

“Take it up with the linguists,” Elsa told her. “It's a large gathering of people and we have to attend, that's all you need to know.”

“I know why you have to attend,” Merida shot back. “Why do I have to?”

“By royal decree?” Elsa offered.

“You're not my queen.”

“True,” Elsa nodded, flopping back against the pillows. “But it's going to be an ordeal for me as it is. If you were there it would be at least a little more bearable.”

“That's black-....black-something....”

“Blackmail,” Elsa corrected. “Yes, it is. Is it working?”

“Fine,” Merida shrugged. “I'll go.”

“Marvelous. You'll be seeing the dressmaker in the morning.”

“Awfully sure of yourself, aren't you?”

Elsa didn't reply, just kissed her, and that was that.

…..

The doors were opening to the main ballroom, and she'd been wearing her heavy cloak for less than an hour and already she felt the strain in her shoulders.  From under her window she could hear Anna's chirpy voice greeting the visitors. Elsa sighed; it was going to be a long night.

There was a gentle knock on the chamber door.

“Come in,” she groaned, and the person obliged. Elsa turned to greet them, and instantly felt like the wind had been knocked out of her.

She'd long suspected the royal seamstress, who spoke about ten words a year and had a permanent frown etched on her face, had a soft spot for Merida. She didn't complain as much as Elsa or fidget as much as Anna, and was perfectly fine standing on a chair in her underwear stoically being stabbed with pins.

The woman had clearly gone out of her way to make Merida look as stunning as possible, tossing out the customary velvet bodice and painted silk for sapphire-blue silk chiffon with gold embroidery. The back of the gown was high enough to cover her scars and dipped teasingly low in the front, and a gold brocade sash nipped in her waist. The skirt wasn't overly full, but floated with every step. To top it off, the royal dresser had pulled her hair to one side, wrapped it in gold cord and set small gold flowers into the curls.

“What?” Merida shrugged awkwardly, and Elsa realized she'd been staring in silence for who knew how long.

“Sorry,” she said breathlessly. “You...you look beautiful...”

Merida chuckled and went pink in the cheeks, fiddling with the end of her hair.

“It's a bit fancy for my liking...” she mumbled. “But it's not too tight, at least.”

“Which is more than I can say for this,” Elsa laughed, tugging at the closure on her cloak. “I feel like a cart horse lugging this thing along behind me.”

“I thought you were going to make a dress?” Merida asked, dropping lightly into a chair in front of the fire to warm her feet. “Like your ice gowns?”

“It's not proper,” Elsa answered. “I have to wear the royal emblem at public functions, and it never lasts when I try to make it in ice. It splinters too quickly.”

Merida laughed softly and rolled her eyes, but didn't comment. Adjusting her collar one last time and smoothing a stray hair back into her rolled braid, Elsa reached out a hand to pull her to her feet.

“Follow me downstairs in ten minutes,” Elsa told her. “I have to be formally announced.”

Merida took her chin in her hand and kissed her on the cheek softly.

“Good luck,” she said, and then she was gone.

…..

Two hours into the ball, and the ache in Elsa's shoulders was matched by a climbing ache in her jaw from holding her smile in place. She'd been greeting dignitaries and visiting royals at a rate of one every five minutes and trying desperately to remember who they all were, and it was exhausting.

Anna had finished her royal duty some time ago, and was freely sweeping across the ballroom with a stumbling Kristoff, rather too close for comfort. Elsa raised a reproachful eyebrow at her, but was met with a rebellious clenched jaw and hand gesture.

I know what you've been up to, you don't get to talk about my love life anymore! She could almost hear her say from across the room.

She hadn't seen Merida at all, and it concerned her. There were objectively more beautiful women in the ballroom (though to Elsa's eyes Merida outshone them all) but she looked different to everyone else, and looking so polished as she did this night was bound to attract unwanted male attention. That little uneasy sickness at the pit of her stomach grew as she watched handsome young men mill about the room, sneaking glances at any unaccompanied young woman.

“Cousin Elsa!” a soft, musical voice trilled. “It's wonderful to see you again.”

She started as a small hand landed on her shoulder, and was pulled away apologetically. She stared into the enormous doll-like green eyes of the woman in front of her, who was nervously biting her lip.

“Cousin Rapunzel,” she said, smiling genuinely this time. “I'm sorry, I was distracted. I almost didn't recognize you.”

Princess Rapunzel of Corona wasn't truly a cousin; their royal lines had been connected by marriage over three hundred years before but the two women hadn't a single drop of blood in common. Still, they and other royal families with close alliances used the term 'cousin' interchangeably to denote how close they were.

And indeed, Rapunzel looked quite different. Elsa had seen her briefly at the coronation, and she and her husband had been whisked out of the country over the land bridge when Elsa went on her rampage, she had not seen either of them since. Rapunzel's short, spiky brown hair was now past her shoulders and a silky-smooth golden, only brown at the tips.

She touched her hair, a nervous gesture.

“It's been a long time, I know,” she said. “The blonde coming back was unexpected, there's no real magic left in it but still...”

All of the royal families had been told and retold about how the infant princess had been stolen from her crib because of the strong magic she possessed. Elsa had been warned to keep the nursery windows locked at night, to never sneak out of her bed, to always stay within sight of the palace staff, with this tale on everyone's lips. Some of the maids had gone further in their tales, said that the baby had been devoured by the witch, that she'd had her entrails carved out to make potions, that she was taken to be raised in the swamps by toads and eels, more creature than human.

Still, there were nights that Elsa wondered if she herself would be better off in the clutches of a woods witch, raised to revel in her magic, casting snow and ice far from the reach of human eyes. Who was to say Rapunzel's abductor had only the worst in mind for her? But then, Rapunzel had returned as a young woman, unharmed as far as anyone could see, and settled into her role as a princess as though she had never been taken.

The same could not be said for her husband, a commoner named Eugene something-or-other, who had to publicly sign away any claim to the throne before he could even propose to her. The rumour mill had pegged him as a petty thief and charlatan who had taken advantage of the young princess's naivete to get himself a kingdom. Elsa couldn't say for sure what the truth was; the few times she had seen him, he looked uncomfortable and strained in royal company. However, Rapunzel marrying a man from a humble background had paved the way for Anna's engagement to Kristoff, and for better or worse he made Anna happy.

“Where is Eugene tonight?” Elsa asked casually. Normally, he was glued to Rapunzel's side at these functions.

“He went out to the balcony for some air,” Rapunzel told her. “He got through about thirty meet-and-greets before he gave up.”

“If only we could call it quits so soon,” Elsa quipped, and they shared a quiet, conspiratorial laugh.

“When is Anna going to set a date for her wedding?” Rapunzel asked. “Eugene shouldn't be the only royal spouse to suffer.”

“It's complicated,” Elsa told her. “The advisor's council are dragging their heels on the paperwork, and Anna keeps skipping the meetings...”

“It's such a lot of fuss to be with the one you love,” Rapunzel sighed. “I almost envy you, Elsa. Things might have been much simpler if my country told me to stay unwed.”

“Well, that has its own problems,” Elsa told her, feeling a sharp pain in her heart. Marrying a commoner was messy, marrying another woman was unheard of. Although....

“You were the first, weren't you?” Elsa said, linking Rapunzel's arm with her own and tugging her towards a quiet alcove. “To marry someone with Eugene's background?”

“Sort of,” Rapunzel said with a slow blink. This was the longest time they had ever spent talking to each other. “The first princess. There were kings before me who married widows and kept their crowns...and those that married mistresses, but they had to abdicate. We had to read up on them before we could get engaged.”

“Who objected the most?” Elsa prodded. “Did it cause a lot of problems?”

“Well, my parents were fine with it,” she said. “They were just happy to have me back alive, whatever the circumstances....most of Corona's people took a public vote and were fine with it too....the noble families made a big fuss because they had a lot of sons they wanted to push as marriage prospects....but in the end the one who objected most was Eugene.”

“What?” Elsa spluttered. “Why?”

“He always said he felt I was too good for him,” Rapunzel said quietly, stroking the ends of her hair. “When they said he had no claim to the throne, he was relieved. He wanted me to be happy....but to be really happy I needed him to stay by my side, and so here we are.”

“That makes sense,” Elsa hummed. It could be done....somehow, she could find a way. Whatever objections her council and people could have to her marrying another woman, the marriage would have no children to pass her powers to, and Merida was a royal in her own right...what was the difference, really?

Just then, Rapunzel was tugged away by Anna to tackle the buffet together. All of the attending guests were spread out, eating and mingling and dancing. Finally, she could escape to the balcony for some fresh air herself.

As she approached the thick velvet curtains separating the balcony from the hall, she heard familiar laughter mixed with a man's low drone. Pulling back the drape, her stomach dropped the same way it had when she caught Meena talking to Merida.

Rapunzel's roguishly handsome husband was perched on the balustrade, telling some grand story to Merida, all expressive limbs and cheeky half-smile. Merida was enthralled, leaning in and nodding along and laughing at his dramatic flourishes.

It was irrational to feel this sudden, heated jealousy. Eugene was a married man, and Merida wasn't interested in men as far as Elsa knew. But to see them both together like this, comfortable and relaxed in each other's company.....Elsa had never seen the man relaxed full stop....it put her on edge. She breathed deep, trying to keep her ice under control. She sent it upwards, towards the roof. At least up there it could be blamed on the approaching winter.

“What's going on here then?” Elsa said, plastering her friendly smile on her face.

“Oh, your highness,” Eugene straightened up, visibly tense once again. “I was just talking to this young lady....”

“Princess Merida,” Elsa corrected, enjoying how he suddenly went pale.

“Princess?” he sputtered, looking over at Merida (and probably realizing he had been massively inappropriate.)

Merida just shrugged.

“Yes, well, I was just telling her some stories of things I did before I was married...”

“Have you been in here long? I think your wife might be looking for you,” Elsa told him smoothly.

“Yeah, okay,” he laughed nervously. “See you around....your highness. Highnesses.”

He scurried out as fast as he could. Elsa took his place on the balustrade beside Merida, who was sitting up against the marble gargoyle and didn't seem annoyed that her companion had left so suddenly.

“Why are you hiding out here?” Elsa asked.

“People keep asking me to dance,” Merida told her. “I can't dance. Especially in these shoes.”

“Nobody asks me to dance anymore,” Elsa sighed. “It's quite a relief, actually. I used to just send them off to Anna instead, now they go straight to her without asking me at all.”

“What if I asked you?” Merida teased. “Would you send me off to Anna?”

“No,” Elsa said, smiling sadly. “If I could, you'd be my one exception.”

Maybe they could dance at their wedding, she thought but did not dare say. Maybe they could have a wedding. Maybe they could be together, with no problems keeping them apart.

Once upon a time, a princess marrying a commoner was unheard of. Rapunzel had been the first. Elsa could also be a first. If they accepted her choice, why not Elsa's?

…..

As the ball was winding down, Elsa ended up on the flat platform roof, lying face down in the snow that had gathered up there. It was late enough that her absence wasn't that notable, but the dancing music was still playing and there were still a crowd on the ballroom floor. If she looked up, she could see their shadows whirling against the snow.

The trapdoor to the platform roof creaked open and Elsa heard someone pulling themselves out into the night air, shivering with the cold. The person tiptoed over beside her and sank down into the snow. Elsa turned over onto her back, looking up into Merida's face peering down at her.

“Were you asleep up here?” she asked.

“No, just resting,” Elsa mumbled. “You're going to ruin your dress, sitting in the snow like that.”

“I probably won't be wearing it again, right?” she said. “The dressmaker makes a new one for everything...”

She was holding the shoes that had been tripping her up all evening, and she tossed them off of the roof as hard as she could. They both watched them drop down in a copse of trees.

“Was that necessary?” Elsa drawled.

“I'll get them in the morning,” Merida replied. “Anyway, now that they're gone, I can dance with you.”

“What?” Elsa said, sitting up. “Here?”

“Why not? No-one can see us from here. And the music's still playing...”

“I thought you said you can't dance....”

“That's what I told them. I can, I just wouldn't,” Merida explained. “Unless it's with you.”

There were times when Elsa woke up at night, spent evenings staring into the fire, tuned out of meetings because she was sick with worry that Merida simply did not care about Elsa the way Elsa cared about her. There was always the lingering fear that this was just a nice way to pass the time for her, a bit of fun. But then there were times like now, when she just knew it wasn't all as one-sided as she feared it was. Nobody could ever make Merida do something she didn't want to do without a fight.

As she clambered to her feet, dropping her heavy cloak out of the way, the snow that had built on the roof was quickly thawing into water and trickling down from the eaves like summer rain. She curtseyed, stiff and suddenly awkward, and Merida copied her more lazily though she'd never quite mastered curtsying.

Elsa took her hand and pulled her close, winding an arm around her waist the way men usually held the women. But the first few steps were clumsy, she'd only ever been taught to dance with men and didn't know how to lead, and Merida didn't know how to follow. After having her feet stepped on for a third time, Merida yanked her forward until they each had a hip pressed against each other, an arm around her shoulder and hands entwined.

The music faded underneath them, and the shadows of the people in the ballroom grew smaller and smaller. They spun in circles together, half-dizzy and giggling. Merida's skirt caught droplets of water from the ground and tossed them into the air to shimmer in the moonlight.

It was all Elsa had ever wanted. It was perfect.

….

[aornff]

All or Nothing Chapter Twenty

…..

If you'd given Elsa a choice, she could have spent the rest of her life buried between Merida's legs, inhaling her scent, surrounded by her soft skin. As it was she only got to spend most nights there, and it was nowhere near enough to satiate her. Sex tended to drive every problem she ever had, big or small, from her mind.

So naturally she didn't hear Merida's question and responded with a muffled groan.

Merida's hands pushed her head away and she re-emerged from under her skirt, red-faced and irritable, aching with lust.

“What?”

“You never told me what Anna said,” Merida prodded. “I haven't seen her since, what did she say?”

“Oh, that,” Elsa muttered. “I haven't talked to her yet.”

She tried to get back under the skirt, but Merida sharply pushed her away, sitting up. She looked furious (though it was hard to take her anger seriously with her bodice around her waist like that.)

“You haven't talked to her? It's been a week!”

“I know,” Elsa huffed. “I've been busy...”

“You haven't been that busy,” Merida snapped.

She began pulling her undergarments back on, to Elsa's dismay.

“Oh, don't,” she pleaded. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to let it go on this long....I just don't know how to even bring it up with her....”

Merida paused in her buttoning (thank goodness) and softened a little.

“I know it's hard,” she said. “But it'll just get harder the longer you let it go on. You have to talk to her some time.”

“I know,” Elsa groaned, as the full reality of the hole she'd dug herself into hit her.

She'd actively been avoiding Anna since she'd caught them in the office, taking on more and more work she didn't even need to do, taking her meals in the office, emerging late only to make love with Merida and sleep. Even the thought of bringing up the subject with Anna made her cringe in horror, desperate to fill her mind with something else, anything else.

“I went years without talking to her,” she said hopelessly to the ceiling, flopping down across the bed. “And even when we did start talking again, we never talked about anything like this.”

“How did she tell you about Kristoff, then?” Merida asked.

“She didn't,” Elsa replied. “He just turned up the day after we unfroze everything and declared that he was in love with Anna...and it's nothing like what we have, he's not even allowed hold her hand in public before they get married.”

Merida snorted, and Elsa looked up. To her distress, she found that Merida was fully dressed and getting up to leave. She attempted to pull her back down to the bed, but her hands were gently slapped away.

“Why are you leaving? We were having fun...” Elsa moaned.

“I'm just distracting you,” Merida told her. “No more fun until you get this sorted.”

“That's not necessary,” Elsa grumbled. “I'll do it tomorrow, I promise.”

“Good,” Merida trilled pleasantly, opening the door of the sally port. “Then we can have more fun tomorrow night.”

With that, she was gone, leaving Elsa unbearably frustrated. Huffing, she grabbed the decanter of wine off of the nightstand; it was the only way she'd get some sleep.

…..

Elsa was tempted to call for Anna at the break of dawn. She'd tossed and turned all night, dreading this conversation but also desperate to get it over with. She held off until close to noon, pacing the floor, unable to settle her mind enough to do any actual work.

When the door of her office was knocked, she jumped.

“Come in,” she ordered, trying and failing to keep the quiver out of her voice.

At least when Anna did enter the room, she didn't look angry, or upset. Her face was strangely blank for someone who was normally so expressive. Elsa tried to smile reassuringly but it dropped when Anna didn't respond.

Elsa poured them both some tea, to give her nervous fingers something to do.

“Thank you for coming,” she began, passing the teacup to her sister. “I'm sorry, I've been putting this off for a while...”

Anna's face didn't change, she sipped her tea and waited for Elsa to keep talking. It was unnerving, not at all like her cheerful little sister.

“We need to discuss what you saw in the office the other day...” Elsa began.

“Yes. Exactly what did I see in the office the other day, Elsa?” Anna cut in.

Elsa's mouth opened and closed at Anna's sharp tone, but no words came out.

“I can tell you what I thought I saw,” Anna continued. “I thought I saw my older sister, the queen of my country, kissing a woman. And not just any woman, a refugee who happens to be a teenager...”

“She's eighteen,” Elsa cut in, more than a little shocked.

“Just turned eighteen,” Anna retorted. “What are you playing at? From where I was standing, it didn't look like the first time you'd been doing that....how long has this been going on?”

“Shortly after the Dunbroch natives left,” Elsa told her. “We've been lovers since then.”

“Oh my God,” Anna groaned. “Do you realize how much trouble you'd be in if someone else had walked in instead of me?”

“Most people know how to knock,” Elsa bit back.

“Yes, it's my fault for not knocking...how rude I was to interrupt you committing abomination!”

Elsa started, for these words sounded bizarre coming out of her little sister's mouth. She had never been particularly devout...in fact, she'd been scolded so many times for fidgeting in church that she used to make herself sick to avoid Sunday mass.

“Stop,” she said, holding her temple to keep her temper in. “I know that's not you speaking...tell me what you think.”

“Fine,” Anna said, softening. “You know that's what they'd say if they found out...nobody's ever come back from that kind of disgrace....I'm scared for you!”

Elsa chuckled, a little grimly. There was the sister she knew...

“You know, in Merida's culture this kind of thing isn't even considered strange?” she said.

“Merida's culture is backwards,” Anna retorted.

“Don't say that,” Elsa snapped. “And don't ever let her hear you say that!”

“As if I would,” Anna scoffed. “But while we're on the subject...how long do you think this is even going to last? She's going to go home eventually, and you'll have risked everything for nothing!”

That's not true. It's not safe there. This is her home.

“What do you want from me?” Elsa asked, shrugging helplessly. “That I should put everything I feel on hold because she might leave some day? The edict I signed said I could never marry a man, should I be happy to stay untouched by anyone forever?”

“There's no might, Elsa...she's going to go back to Dunbroch as soon as it's safe. You know that.”

“For all we know, Dunbroch will never be safe,” Elsa replied.

“So what, you're just going to keep her here as your dirty little secret? And she's happy with that?”

“Anna, I don't know what's going to happen in the future,” Elsa sighed. “All I know is that I've never been happier.”

“I'd like to be happy for you, I really would,” Anna sighed with her. “But I can see it all going horribly wrong...I just don't want you to get hurt.”

“If it does, I'll deal with it,” Elsa promised. “You don't have to worry.”

“I'm going to worry anyway,” Anna replied quietly.

…..

Elsa still felt emotionally drained by the talk with Anna by the time she made it to bed. She thought she'd be too tired to want to do anything sexual, but as soon as Merida made an appearance she had a sudden burst of energy.

Once they had finished and were lying half-on and off the sheets, Merida asked how it had gone.

“I don't like being scolded by my younger sister,” Elsa grumbled into the skin of Merida's stomach. “But she accepted it in the end.”

“Not like she had much of a choice,” Merida laughed. Elsa enjoyed the tremor rocking her aching head gently.

“How would your family have taken it?” Elsa asked.

“They'd probably have been delighted,” Merida told her. “You're a proper lady....my mother would have loved you. And an alliance with Arendelle would have been better than anything the other suitors could offer.”

That cheered her considerably. The people of Arendelle had accepted her powers...how hard would it really be to convince them that two women betrothed to each other was a good thing, especially if it brought a strong alliance with it? Dunbroch was unstable, but it could be strong again...

...and if it never became stable, it just meant that Merida would have to stay in Arendelle, with Elsa. Maybe eventually they could bring her brothers over, if that's what she needed to be happy...but she was happy, with Elsa.

Merida fell asleep as Elsa's mind mulled over and over. She had to consider her future some time, she couldn't keep putting it off. As the clock in the tower chimed for midnight, Merida rolled over in her sleep, away from Elsa, and Elsa's eyes followed her.

Her hair fell to the side, exposing her naked back to Elsa's sight. The last time Elsa had seen it, she'd been catching a stolen glance through a keyhole. Merida wasn't bashful when it came to her body, in fact Elsa envied how natural she was in a state of undress, but she was cagey about her back. Her voluminous hair acted as a veil most of the time, but even when they were having sex she tended to keep her back out of Elsa's hands.

It was strange to have such a full, clear view of the damage that had been done. The room was lit up by moonlight, dragging the scarring and the unmarked flesh into high contrast. Before she knew it, Elsa was brushing her fingers against the scars, feeling how deep they went, running her thumb against the healthy skin to feel the difference.

She had been touching the scars for some time, not even really knowing why, when Merida's breathing started coming out ragged. She mumbled something in her sleep, could have been Gaelic or gibberish. Elsa pulled back a little but did not stop.

She was sure the scars didn't hurt anymore; the whip had dug valleys into her skin but the nerves were dead and the flesh long healed. Merida's body was a map of scars, little and big, and it was fascinating for Elsa who didn't have so much as a childhood scrape. No scars bothered her so much as the ones on her back.

Elsa pressed a little more firmly at the base of Merida's spine, at the lowest scar. Merida flinched, and cried out. Shaking, Elsa pulled away and covered her with a sheet. She turned on her side, away from Merida.

Dunbroch was full of nothing but bad memories. Who was to say that Merida wouldn't choose to stay in Arendelle, where she was so happy? She had three brothers to take the throne, she could do as she wanted.

This is her home. She wants to stay.

[aornff]

All or Nothing

Chapter Nineteen

The once-a-month update is probably frustrating to anyone following this story, and believe me it's frustrating to write this once a month too. I'm going to try and be faster for the following weeks.

Note: Explicit content.

…..

By the time Merida had fully recovered enough to be outside again, the first snows were beginning to fall. She seemed anxious to get out of the palace, but Elsa couldn't blame her. Captivity, even for her own good, suited her about as well as any wild animal.

She had only been off bed rest for two days when Merida insisted they take a trip up the North mountain to Elsa's ice palace, but for whatever reason refused to tell Elsa why. When Elsa suggested bringing Anna and Kristoff, Merida shook her head vehemently.

“Just us,” she insisted.

Elsa's heart did a giddy little skip at the idea that she wanted them to be alone. The more pragmatic side of her told her she just didn't want to be slowed down by anyone else, but it was nice to think of, all the same.

Merida wouldn't even hear of the journey being delayed by a single day. The morning they were due to leave, she was pacing in front of the door, itching to get gone. Someone had given her a pocketwatch while she recovered, and she checked it constantly while waiting for Elsa, scrunching her face in irritation.

When they finally got going, Merida half-leapt up the mountain, at all times twenty steps or more ahead of Elsa.

“Don't strain yourself! You've only just recovered,” Elsa called to her.

“I'm fine!” Merida called back, kicking up a cloud of snow in her path. “Come on, or we won't be there before nightfall!”

It was a bit ridiculous to be worried at barely past noon, but Elsa humoured her. Indeed, by the time they were at the door of the ice palace, the sun was just starting to set. Merida was frowning at her pocketwatch by the time Elsa caught up with her.

“What does the big hand mean again?”she grumbled.

“It counts the minutes,” Elsa answered, winded and clutching her side.

Merida rolled her eyes and grumbled something in Gaelic before throwing open the door and marching inside as though she owned the place. Laughing under her breath, Elsa followed.

She stopped to look around at the walls and the furnishings; she'd half-expected them to have melted at least a little. But the palace was just as she'd left it, solid and sparkling as ever. It was a testament to how stable she was feeling these days.

Just as she'd expected, Merida had made her way to the highest reachable point on the palace and was sitting on the windowledge, legs dangling in the breeze. The mist-covered peaks of Dunbroch's mountains were just about visible in the distance, but Merida was looking to the east, and checking her pocketwatch.

“This is the highest point, isn't it?” she asked Elsa as she sat on the safe side of the windowledge.

“Can't get any higher than this without losing air or getting blown away by the wind,” Elsa replied. “Do you want to tell me why you dragged us up here?”

“Fine, it's almost time anyway.”

She put away the watch and scooted a little closer to Elsa.

“When I was a child,” she began. “We had a visitor in the castle from some far away place. His ship ran aground near the coast and we took him in for a while. He was one of those....with all the books...and maps....”

“An explorer?” Elsa offered.

“Right, an explorer. He looked different to us, we'd never seen anyone like him before. He learned Gaelic in a few weeks! He told us his name, but we could never pronounce it, we used to call him fear foghlamtha....the learned man.”

With a start, Elsa realized this was likely the man she had seen when she had found Merida's hair in the dining room. The man from Dionhae or Myohen.

“He let me look through all his old books, and there was this one story...”

Feeling a little sick, Elsa smiled and nodded as Merida told her the story of Lua, of how she'd run out to see her, fallen out of the tree afterwards and broken her leg, dragged herself home to find her father was sending out a search party. This was something Merida had wanted to share with Elsa, and Elsa had ruined it by snooping.

But there was no sense in telling her that. It would only upset her.

“So that's why you named your hawk Lua?” she asked, as though she didn't know.

“Not just that reason,” Merida shrugged. “Anyway, tonight's the night she comes back around here. I kept watch for her every year since I was ten years old.”

“Why didn't you tell me this on the way here?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.”

It was a touching gesture, even spoiled as it was by Elsa's interference. Overwhelmed, Elsa pressed against her from behind, enveloping her, burying her face in her hair. Merida held her hands and pressed back.

They stayed like that for Lord only knows how long, until Merida pulled out of the embrace.

“There she is!”

Lua, the spectre, had been magnificent as a shadow in someone's recollections, but to see her in person was truly incredible. Elsa's jaw dropped.

From below, she could have been mistaken for a comet or a shooting star, but close as they were, Elsa could clearly see a woman's shape in the flames. Her hair streamed out behind her, her wings lazily drifting, setting the clouds ablaze as she passed them. Little tendrils of fire broke away from her form, floated on the wind and vanished, leaving silvery trails of smoke.

Merida shouted and waved, prompting Elsa to furtively take hold of her skirt in case she knocked herself clean off of the ledge. The figure in the flames spun on her axis, drifted a little closer. In the brightness of her form, the shadow of her face betrayed her little smile, an acknowledgement that she had seen them.

Once upon a time, as a lonely little girl stuck in a single room away from everyone, she had wondered why she had been singled out, burdened with magic. But she realized now that magic was everywhere, and in the whole wide world her powers really meant very little. It should have been a depressing thought, but on the contrary, Elsa found it strangely uplifting.

Lua dissappeared into the clouds a few moments later. Merida climbed down from her perch with a happy sigh.

“That was really something, wasn't it...ah!”

She was cut off mid sentence when Elsa pulled her into her arms, held her close, buried her face in her shoulder.

“Thank you,” Elsa sobbed.

…..

Elsa set up the beds as she had before while Merida cooked dinner. They exchanged more tales from their respective childhoods, free to be louder away from the palace.

“...I swear he had most of his army, and every dog in Dunbroch, ready to go combing the forest, and I just stumbled out while he was talking to the troops, dragging my banged-up leg behind me...and I went 'Hi, Dad,' and that was that. Search party off.”

“How angry was he?” Elsa asked.

“Oh, furious. Not because I was sneaking out or anything, he had to feed all the men he dragged out before he sent them home. He had me peeling potatoes for a month. It was worth it.”

Tired but happy, Elsa settled into bed. But Merida looked at her bed, and Elsa could tell by the expression on her face she was wrestling with some decision. Then she did something Elsa hadn't expected, that left her gobsmacked and unable to move.

In one fluid motion, she pulled her nightgown over her head and tossed it casually to one side. She stood there, bare-skinned from head to toe, illuminated by a shaft of moonlight, while Elsa's synapses crackled and misfired.

Even the practicing with Meena had not prepared her for this. It was the kind of woman's shape she had dreamed of since her feverish, hormone-riddled adolescence; full-breasted, sweeping curves, an expanse of creamy soft skin. Elsa's mouth was dry, her tongue clumsily trying to find words.

Merida shivered, wrapped her arms around her breasts.

“It's bloody freezing,” she laughed. “Can I come in or not?”

“Yes,” Elsa croaked, lifting her blanket.

They had been close before, but this was an even greater leap forward. Merida kissed her, and Elsa found herself responding naturally, as she had before. She kept her hands rooted firmly to her side, until Merida took up one hand and placed it on her breast.

“Do what you want to do,” she whispered in Elsa's ear, before pressing a kiss to the thumping vein at her throat.

Elsa flipped them over. It was dark, she couldn't see much at all, but instinctively she sought out the places she wanted to find, first with her hands, then with her mouth. One set of fingers stroked the velvety skin around Merida's nipple while her lips found the other and gently sucked. A wanton heat was building at the core of her.

Her mouth trailed lower, ghosted carefully over the ribcage she knew was still bruised, skimmed over the slight pouch of the stomach, and though she didn't really intend to go lower, she found once she started she couldn't stop. She ended up burying her face in the molten core of her.

Merida didn't protest, just opened her legs for better access.

It was intoxicating. Elsa's mind shut off completely and she was a creature lost to her senses. Her tongue dove in deep between the folds as her fingers worked that odd little button, her lips alternately sucked and kissed at the spreading wetness. When the climax came, she felt it ripple through her own body and, mysteriously, followed it with an answering release. She hadn't even needed to be touched.

Emerging from under the blanket, she saw that Merida was gasping for air as though she'd been drowning. Both of them were damp, and seeing no reason to cling to modesty now, Elsa shucked off her own nightgown and tossed it away.

“That was something,” Merida said breathlessly, a moment later.

“Yes,” Elsa agreed. She didn't feel quite capable of proper words just yet.

“You want me to...do that to you?”

Even the thought of it made Elsa squirm pleasantly, but she shook her head.

“Not right now,” she murmured. “Just...”

She trailed off, and in lieu of words she laid her head on Merida's chest. Merida stroked her head as she fell asleep, and she would have been happy to never wake again.

…..

Merida did indeed repay the favour a few nights later. Elsa wondered if that brush with death suddenly made  her throw all caution to the wind, and even if that was the case she couldn't help but be grateful.

Elsa was considerably more shy when it came to her body, but she was easily distracted, and Merida's fingers were nimble. There was enviable talent there, in that she could induce a powerful climax with just two fingers followed immediately by several little tremors. Elsa felt quite clumsy by comparison, spent a lot of their nights with her face pressed against Merida's folds trying to match the pleasure she'd been given. Merida didn't complain, so she was probably doing well.

Waiting for night to fall was torture, and they were somewhat drunk on each other, so naturally they became reckless. Elsa found herself signing important documents of state hunched over on her desk with her skirt around her waist and her bloomers around her ankles being thoroughly wrung out by Merida's skilled hands. Merida tagged along on granary inspections, fully expecting to duck behind a sack of barley so that Elsa could sample the goods.

And really, most people did knock before entering her office.

Afterwards, scarlet with the thought of it, Elsa would ponder exactly what Anna had seen when she walked in on them.

It was rather tame, actually. They hadn't gotten far. Merida was on the desk, yes, but she was (mostly) clothed. Except for a bit of rumpling in the bodice where Elsa's hands had been digging around, you might have thought she'd missed a button or something. And yes, her hands were halfway up the slit in Elsa's skirt, but she could have been fixing it, like a good friend would.

As for the fact that Elsa's tongue was making itself very much at home in Merida's mouth...well, you couldn't have told that just from seeing it from the doorway. Not really.

And you couldn't blame them for not hearing Anna let herself in. She could be quiet when she wanted to be. Who knows how long she'd been standing there, watching them go at it.

“Oh my God...”

Once those words fell out of Anna's mouth, they sprang away from each other, blushing furiously (guiltily) and Elsa tried to find the words to deny whatever it was Anna thought they were doing, but Anna had fled, slamming the door behind her.

Elsa dropped into her chair, groaning.

“Is this bad?” Merida asked gently, fixing her bodice.

“Quite,” Elsa grumbled. “I didn't really want her to find out like that.”

“Should I...talk to her?”

“No, no. I'm her big sister, I'll do it.”

Merida gave her a chaste kiss, and departed. Elsa prepared to go to Anna, to explain everything...

...but really, those documents she needed to approve were very important and couldn't be ignored much longer.

And by complete coincidence, by the time she'd finished it was past midnight.