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sooo bird cage weapon + armor idea

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I love it when women tell me they just finalized their divorce. ESPECIALLY older women. The correct response is always “congratulations” and they always seem so pleasantly surprised, they just seem to light right up and talk about how happy they are, what their plans are, how well they’re doing. I’ve only ever met like 1 person who was upset to be divorced and it was a middle-aged dude. Second most exciting is young men. A 25 year old guy says he just got divorced and you go “congratulations” and he SMILES? You KNOW there’s a story. I love it. People should get divorced more

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2025 glow up

Drink water

Fraternize with no one. Live in complete isolation so as not to risk being disappointed ever

take walks

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i will Never deactivate. if i die this blog shall remain eternal as a museum of my greatness. a monument of my legacy.

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It seems like the older I get, the more irrationally angry casual censorship makes me. And it isn't just the "unalive" "grape" alleged filter-dodging vernacular, but the way normal words will be peppered with asterisks, or screenshots will have words like "gay" "hell" "fuck" etc either partially or entirely blurred. Who is this helping? What is the purpose of it, except to reinforce shame and elevate a flimsy perception of purity and safety, however those things manifest. It's so tiresome and I'm sick of it.

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I hope they meet each other one day

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i think far too many people have only seen this video as that one sped up gif version of it and that is a crime that needs to be fixed because this video actually changed my life

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what are yall doing that we need this??

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Kris's war on the word "tsundere":

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I've been doing a lot of thinking about my family and how I was treated as a child, and honestly, my father has never seemed more amazing in my eyes.

I used to love Luigi(Mario's brother) when I was little. Like, he was my favorite character ever, and I had multiple plushies of him. Didn't give a fuck about Mario, vaguely tolerated Peach, but I loved Luigi.

On my first day of kindergarten, my dad gave me the number for his work phone and said it was Luigi's phone number. "If anything happens at school, call Luigi."And not even twenty minutes into my first day, I was having a panic attack. So I went down to the principal's office and called "Luigi."

Now, at the time, my father was in a meeting with his manager and his supervisor, along with most of his coworkers. And when I called, he picked up before he even left the room.

And he put on a very awful Italian accent and said, "Itsa me, Luigi! Whatsa the matter?"In front of his boss and coworkers. Without telling them what was going on. So they were absolutely bewildered, and he carried on like they didn't even exist. He only explained what was happening after I had calmed down and hung up, to which most of them responded with "Aww, cute."

I continued to call him whenever I got upset at school, and eventually his coworkers got in on it. I distinctly remember one of them impersonating Toad. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just thought it might make you smile :)

this is so delightful I love your Luigi dad

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Apple

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i keep getting fines for “excessive water consumption” it’s not my fault that the basement prison cells all need their own toilets and showers. and like the prisoners are not pulling their weight AT ALL. all they do is sleep and be scared of the rats all day instead of painting with the easels i provided so the fines are really putting a financial strain on the household. if i didn’t need them for their plasma i would have killed them all already because this is nottt as financially lucrative as i thought it would be

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teebie