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pov: something pickle finds in one of the books in the library

translation: the text above says mother and the text next to the heart is “Issei” which is what I imagine Isaac’s Japanese name would be

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is this what we get after all the fluff? 😭

Saku is always putting us in a situation, bro. If we're not getting bombed, kidnapped, taken hostage by a mf who wanted revenge, stalked, or being part of a cult/dangerous organization; we're out here being a homewrecker. Idk anymore 😭

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happy pride month to THE power homosexual couple: andrew and isaac (affectionately known as speccy and guppy)

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watching shark tale in honor of simon marston and my getting accepted into biomedical science for uni

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how much for delvin and faith

5 bucks, and I'll make albus and faith kiss. 10, and it'll happen twice.

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About to kms what

师尊，理理我吧 vs. shizun, please pay attention to me

this line, friends, this line, is such a pet peeve for me and i guess it's just another example of lost in translation. in it's original Chinese, this line was so much more pitiful and so much more painful than it's English counterpart. like there's so much of mo ran's painful backstory laden behind it.

explanation and analysis under cut-

originally, 'shizun, please pay attention to me’ was;

'师尊，理理我吧‘ or 'shizun, lili wo ba’

'lili wo’ or '理理我’ has a nuance that you just can’t find in english.

the verb '理’ is- for the lack of better words- to acknowledge someone’s existence, and can be as simple as a glance.

it’s basically the action for atleast showing barest minimum- i repeat, the barest minimum - of respect and acknowledgement towards someone.

when this is paired with mo ran’s begging, it makes the whole situation even more pitiful, because mo ran’s pleading chu wanning to acknowledge his existence. his pure existence.

he’s not asking for anything more; because he’d never been shown anything more and doesn’t expect to be shown more.

like, up until that point, he’d been living on the streets with his mother. he at least had her then. but, following her death, he ended up in an entertainment house, living in the kitchens, having to fend for himself.

no one would have even cared about him or showed him anything more than the bare minimum of respect. he basically accepted what he was given. after a while, he would have expected nothing more and took this mentality with him to sisheng peak.

his asking for that bit of acknowledgement would have already been overstepping in his eyes and it’s actually so fucking sad.

*pauses in angst*

bruh. this line.

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I feel like Devlin had a phenomenal emo phase in his youth. Black eyeliner. Dyed his hair. Got about a hundred piercings all self done. Maybe even a tattoo. Like look at his undercut. That is ex scene kid who suddenly got a strict job and needed to chop off his coloured hair behaviour.

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bro finally makes an appearance after being a joke and getting friendzoned by darling and prefect😭😭

JUSTICE FOR TRISTAN😭

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this filipino song is so andrew and isaac 😭

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next part will be out after exam week!!

Thought to be like carbon paper, carbon saints, carbon angels, but little did they know I’m the devil himself 

Part 1: carbon angels

-in which Simon Marston fails to be an angel

t.w.: none except a bit of angst, alvin and the chimpunks reference

Summary: When one decorates a Christmas tree, they decorate it with multi-colored orbs, lights, gifts, and most importantly, the angel on top. Well, it was usually an angel or a star. For Simon, it was both that hung above him all his life. Out of reach because he was always the weaker star, unable to match his brother’s light. 

November 17, 1997 

On this day at the hospital, a very special baby was born. One who would grow up a bright, smart, and handsome young man. His parents likened him to an angel of sorts and decided to name him Andrew. This child was able to excel academics, so much so that he placed in a grade 2 years in advance of a child his age. He completed university in one course year when he was 19, and by the time he was 21, he was a professor at a university teaching history and literature. One could say he was the perfect kid, but this story is not about that child who was born at 3 am on November 17. This story is about the child who was born second to his brother, the twin baby boy to the angel his parents adored. 

Growing up, he heard the adults re-tell this story again and again, how his parents drove to the hospital right after church, as his mother started the first stages of labor. It was 3 am when his mother was brought to the delivery room, where the beautiful baby boy was born. It was only then that after a while, a doctor came to realize that there was  a second baby and the mother needed to be brought in for an emergency c-section. Thus the second baby was born, a carbon copy in looks of the angel that was born minutes before him. Seeing as they already named the first baby after one of the twelve apostles, it seemed fitting to name the second baby after Saint Andrew’s brother, Simon. 

As the twins grew up, it became apparent to Simon how much his parents wanted them both to grow up to be angels. Every Sunday, they dressed their best to go to church, praying for forgiveness for their sins. Thus was their routine, and the twins thought nothing of it. After church was a bible study, where Andrew learned to read long before Simon did. Their parents were pleased and praised Andrew for it. When it was time to go to school, the twins went to a religious school where the days started and ended with a prayer. This was where teachers realized that Andrew was “gifted,” where they gave him advanced lessons in his subjects, and where they made him compete in quiz bees and science competitions. Their parents praised Andrew for it, giving him a shiny golden halo and told Simon to study dillegently so he could graduate the first grade with highest honors. And so even as young as six or seven, the sun would rise and set, leaving one twin with the glowing light of the sun, while the other was a reflection found in the moon. This was their life. 

-

The day was nearing its end, and six-year-old Simon sat on the swing, waiting for the tell-tale sign of their family car coming to fetch him. He had been in the playground for hours, and there was no one else around to play with but the janitor. Except she was busy mopping the floors of the school. This thought materialized for only a few seconds on Simon’s mind when he felt two small hands on his back, kicking him out the sing chair with a shove to the floor. It was a little girl around his age, wearing a pink frilly dress and pigtails who had pushed him. 

 “Hey!” Simon brushed off the dirt on his clothes, he knew his parents would get mad if he had stained them. “I was here first! And you can always ask for the swing you know, I would have shared. Father John says we should always be sharing so that we don’t end up in hell. “ This was what they had taught him, to share blessings, to have gratitude, to love god. This was how they wanted to raise him, nothing less than an angel. 

“Well you sat there not moving for so long I thought you were a statue!” The girl answered with a fake smile, pushing off the ground and letting her legs follow the rocking of the swing. “What are you doing here so late anyway?” 

“I’m waiting for my parents, they went to pick up my brother from his spelling bee competition.” Simon could only stand watching her as the swing took her back and forth. The truth was he didn’t know how to ride the swing by himself, his brother was always there to push him whenever he needed it. “My name is Simon, what’s yours?” 

The girl smiled wide. “I’m Theodosia, I’m the janitor’s kid. I come here after school ends to play, but I never see anyone to play with, so I don’t have friends.” 

Simon grinned back. “Maybe I can be your friend.” 

In the end, the two of them needed to rush back inside the classrooms as it had begun to rain. But from that day forward, Simon and Theo grew up to be close friends. Friends who had each other’s back, friends who held each other as they cried when Alvin died. Eventually when the friend took the other in when he was kicked out for his sexuality, the two began to know each other as family. 

For now, they were first graders who shared crayons and stickers with each other. 

-

Simon was making a mess of his room. There were dress shirts all over the floor, shoes on his bed, papers all over his desk, and he was still no where near perfecting the outfit. His brother was going to prom (2 years early because he was also 2 years younger for his grade), and Simon had heard of the news from his best friend Theo. 

“Si, I don’t know what Theodosia told you. ” Andrew sat on the only clear space in his brother’s room-the bed.  “I’m not sure I even want to go.”

“Why not?” Simon finally emerged after 15 minutes of being in the closet. (More like 15 years, AHEM) “It’s prom, it’s supposed to be fun. And god knows you need that after all the studying you’ve been doing.” 

“But that studying is for my future.” 

“It’s not like you need more studying for the entrance test.” Simon tried to reason with him. “Mom and dad told me you got a recommendation for that prestigious academy.” 

Upon mentioning the academy, both brothers turned away from each other, missing their individual mixed reactions. They would never know what the other thought. Simon was sad that his brother was leaving him, it felt like he was being rushed to graduate, to level his light to that of an angel. Andrew was excited to move, hoping that if he left, their teachers and parents would stop comparing every little thing Simon did to his grades. 

“Besides, if you don’t go now, you might not be able to go to prom again.” Simon was either really pushing this or he wanted to change the subject. They both knew at this rate, Andrew was going to graduate high school really early. 

Andrew sighed, “It’s just prom Simon.” 

“It’s part of being a teenager Andrew, you get to go on school dances. When you’re like 30, and working at your boring life with your boring job, you’ll look back at these memories, thinking about your date and how much fun you had.” 

At this point, Andrew could only laugh. “I’m 15 and I spend all my time studying, where in the world am I going to get a date. I might as well not go, people would make fun of me there.” 

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Simon went to open it, welcoming Theodosia in. He smiled, “Oh dear brother, what would you do without me?  I have an idea.” 

“What idea?” Theodosia blew up a bubble with her gum, settling to sit on the floor with the clothes. “And Simon, what is with your room, why are emptying out your closet?” 

Simon sat beside her, explaining. “Well you see, Andrew here is going to prom, and he needs a date. Care to dance with him for the night?” 

“Oh! Dancing! You know I love dancing.” Theo exclaimed, flying to her feet to hold a hand out to Andrew. “Let me see first if you can dance.” 

And so, Andrew was pulled to his feet where he stood just slightly shorter than both Simon and Theo. Gone was the 6-year-old Andrew who was taller than both of them. They were all older now, at the age for school crushes and cutting class. Not like Andrew did those kind of things and nor did he know that Simon and Theodosia (Theo) often snuck out their houses at night, going out to watch the stars in a field somewhere, talking about life.

Later, Andrew would ask Simon if he had feelings for someone, guessing it to be Theo. Simon’s first thought had been to deny it, but he guessed he had been behaving weird lately, due to his outings with Alvin. So he had nodded yes, although he knew deep in his heart that those feelings belonged not to Theo, but his brother couldn’t know about that.   

For now, Theo attempted to dance with Andrew at prom, happy to make Simon happy by being his brother’s date. She knew Simon was out dancing too. In the middle of prom, she led Andrew to a house where he panicked because he thought that he was supposed to kiss her as his date, but she had only laughed and pulled him up to the rooftop with her.

There on the roof top was a smiling Simon and a guy that Andrew had seen in church. He was introduced to Andrew as Alvin, a young attendant at their church.

For this one night, Simon wasn’t thinking of his brother moving. For this one night, Simon wasn’t worried about his grades or how well he did in church. For this one night, Simon was drunk in bliss and not the usual alcohol he and Theo stole from their parents’ liquor cabinets but on the laughter he shared with his best friends.

Because back then, he still considered the angel his looks were a carbon copy of, his twin brother, as his best friend. But all of that was about to change. Simon would no longer be an angel, it would take less than an apple to make him an angel fallen from grace. All that would take was a hand holding another, for the poison to act fast and act hard, clipping him of his wings.

No longer would they hang angels up in the Christmas tree. No longer would Simon and Andrew be best friends.

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It's so hard to be a POC in a fandom, especially when you're in a place where most of the people are white. Sometimes, I'd see people write or say obscure things about race and I always have this conflict if I should speak up or not due to the fear of coming off as "stirring a drama" or sensitive. And when people talk about Asians, I expect myself to not be included there because I know that most of the time, my race is underrepresented or just ignored. It's even more difficult when you are in a fandom where people seem to get along. I know deep inside me that it was just lack of education or ignorance, but it still cuts deep to see someone have an obscure– almost disappointing representation of people of color. It can be seen in different things: how you call them, the traits, and how you treat their character. Please perceive them properly. Those people who belong to that race are human beings.

This is not meant to stir hate or drama. This is just to remind everyone that although you belong to a fandom where it's predominantly white, there are still POC who read and perceive what you say about them, whether it is unintentionally hurtful or not.

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love my friends and their gay little classics. tag your sexuality and favorite old novel.

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a quick sketch in between commissions <3

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arwen's masterlist

ZSakuVA Universe

Simon Marston

•Thought to be like carbon paper, carbon saints, carbon angels, but little did they know I'm the devil himself

Part 1: carbon angels

-in which Simon fails to be an angel and meets Theodosia

Part 2: carbon saints

-in which Simon isn’t a saint/falls from grace and meets Alvin

Part 3: carbon paper

-in which Simon is not a carbon copy of his brother, nor is he the reason for his mother’s scar

Part 4: little did they know/ i’m the devil himself

-in which Simon is definitely not a carbon copy of his brother but he’s sure that one day we’ll all be 50% carbon when we’re ashes

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hey crumpet tumblr!

I'm Arwen, I'm 18, my pronouns are he/him. I've been listening to saku since like 2020, and my first audio was bb luca. I've been a really busy student, so ive only been lurking around this space. Finally, I have gotten the inspiration to start writing and I wrote a story about Simon Marston. Its basically an AU at this point but anyway there will be more stories soon :)

nice to meeet everyone officially !!!

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Thought to be like carbon paper, carbon saints, carbon angels, but little did they know I’m the devil himself 

Part 1: carbon angels

-in which Simon Marston fails to be an angel

t.w.: none except a bit of angst, alvin and the chimpunks reference

Summary: When one decorates a Christmas tree, they decorate it with multi-colored orbs, lights, gifts, and most importantly, the angel on top. Well, it was usually an angel or a star. For Simon, it was both that hung above him all his life. Out of reach because he was always the weaker star, unable to match his brother’s light. 

November 17, 1997 

On this day at the hospital, a very special baby was born. One who would grow up a bright, smart, and handsome young man. His parents likened him to an angel of sorts and decided to name him Andrew. This child was able to excel academics, so much so that he placed in a grade 2 years in advance of a child his age. He completed university in one course year when he was 19, and by the time he was 21, he was a professor at a university teaching history and literature. One could say he was the perfect kid, but this story is not about that child who was born at 3 am on November 17. This story is about the child who was born second to his brother, the twin baby boy to the angel his parents adored. 

Growing up, he heard the adults re-tell this story again and again, how his parents drove to the hospital right after church, as his mother started the first stages of labor. It was 3 am when his mother was brought to the delivery room, where the beautiful baby boy was born. It was only then that after a while, a doctor came to realize that there was  a second baby and the mother needed to be brought in for an emergency c-section. Thus the second baby was born, a carbon copy in looks of the angel that was born minutes before him. Seeing as they already named the first baby after one of the twelve apostles, it seemed fitting to name the second baby after Saint Andrew’s brother, Simon. 

As the twins grew up, it became apparent to Simon how much his parents wanted them both to grow up to be angels. Every Sunday, they dressed their best to go to church, praying for forgiveness for their sins. Thus was their routine, and the twins thought nothing of it. After church was a bible study, where Andrew learned to read long before Simon did. Their parents were pleased and praised Andrew for it. When it was time to go to school, the twins went to a religious school where the days started and ended with a prayer. This was where teachers realized that Andrew was “gifted,” where they gave him advanced lessons in his subjects, and where they made him compete in quiz bees and science competitions. Their parents praised Andrew for it, giving him a shiny golden halo and told Simon to study dillegently so he could graduate the first grade with highest honors. And so even as young as six or seven, the sun would rise and set, leaving one twin with the glowing light of the sun, while the other was a reflection found in the moon. This was their life. 

-

The day was nearing its end, and six-year-old Simon sat on the swing, waiting for the tell-tale sign of their family car coming to fetch him. He had been in the playground for hours, and there was no one else around to play with but the janitor. Except she was busy mopping the floors of the school. This thought materialized for only a few seconds on Simon’s mind when he felt two small hands on his back, kicking him out the sing chair with a shove to the floor. It was a little girl around his age, wearing a pink frilly dress and pigtails who had pushed him. 

 “Hey!” Simon brushed off the dirt on his clothes, he knew his parents would get mad if he had stained them. “I was here first! And you can always ask for the swing you know, I would have shared. Father John says we should always be sharing so that we don’t end up in hell. “ This was what they had taught him, to share blessings, to have gratitude, to love god. This was how they wanted to raise him, nothing less than an angel. 

“Well you sat there not moving for so long I thought you were a statue!” The girl answered with a fake smile, pushing off the ground and letting her legs follow the rocking of the swing. “What are you doing here so late anyway?” 

“I’m waiting for my parents, they went to pick up my brother from his spelling bee competition.” Simon could only stand watching her as the swing took her back and forth. The truth was he didn’t know how to ride the swing by himself, his brother was always there to push him whenever he needed it. “My name is Simon, what’s yours?” 

The girl smiled wide. “I’m Theodosia, I’m the janitor’s kid. I come here after school ends to play, but I never see anyone to play with, so I don’t have friends.” 

Simon grinned back. “Maybe I can be your friend.” 

In the end, the two of them needed to rush back inside the classrooms as it had begun to rain. But from that day forward, Simon and Theo grew up to be close friends. Friends who had each other’s back, friends who held each other as they cried when Alvin died. Eventually when the friend took the other in when he was kicked out for his sexuality, the two began to know each other as family. 

For now, they were first graders who shared crayons and stickers with each other. 

-

Simon was making a mess of his room. There were dress shirts all over the floor, shoes on his bed, papers all over his desk, and he was still no where near perfecting the outfit. His brother was going to prom (2 years early because he was also 2 years younger for his grade), and Simon had heard of the news from his best friend Theo. 

“Si, I don’t know what Theodosia told you. ” Andrew sat on the only clear space in his brother’s room-the bed.  “I’m not sure I even want to go.”

“Why not?” Simon finally emerged after 15 minutes of being in the closet. (More like 15 years, AHEM) “It’s prom, it’s supposed to be fun. And god knows you need that after all the studying you’ve been doing.” 

“But that studying is for my future.” 

“It’s not like you need more studying for the entrance test.” Simon tried to reason with him. “Mom and dad told me you got a recommendation for that prestigious academy.” 

Upon mentioning the academy, both brothers turned away from each other, missing their individual mixed reactions. They would never know what the other thought. Simon was sad that his brother was leaving him, it felt like he was being rushed to graduate, to level his light to that of an angel. Andrew was excited to move, hoping that if he left, their teachers and parents would stop comparing every little thing Simon did to his grades. 

“Besides, if you don’t go now, you might not be able to go to prom again.” Simon was either really pushing this or he wanted to change the subject. They both knew at this rate, Andrew was going to graduate high school really early. 

Andrew sighed, “It’s just prom Simon.” 

“It’s part of being a teenager Andrew, you get to go on school dances. When you’re like 30, and working at your boring life with your boring job, you’ll look back at these memories, thinking about your date and how much fun you had.” 

At this point, Andrew could only laugh. “I’m 15 and I spend all my time studying, where in the world am I going to get a date. I might as well not go, people would make fun of me there.” 

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Simon went to open it, welcoming Theodosia in. He smiled, “Oh dear brother, what would you do without me?  I have an idea.” 

“What idea?” Theodosia blew up a bubble with her gum, settling to sit on the floor with the clothes. “And Simon, what is with your room, why are emptying out your closet?” 

Simon sat beside her, explaining. “Well you see, Andrew here is going to prom, and he needs a date. Care to dance with him for the night?” 

“Oh! Dancing! You know I love dancing.” Theo exclaimed, flying to her feet to hold a hand out to Andrew. “Let me see first if you can dance.” 

And so, Andrew was pulled to his feet where he stood just slightly shorter than both Simon and Theo. Gone was the 6-year-old Andrew who was taller than both of them. They were all older now, at the age for school crushes and cutting class. Not like Andrew did those kind of things and nor did he know that Simon and Theodosia (Theo) often snuck out their houses at night, going out to watch the stars in a field somewhere, talking about life.

Later, Andrew would ask Simon if he had feelings for someone, guessing it to be Theo. Simon’s first thought had been to deny it, but he guessed he had been behaving weird lately, due to his outings with Alvin. So he had nodded yes, although he knew deep in his heart that those feelings belonged not to Theo, but his brother couldn’t know about that.   

For now, Theo attempted to dance with Andrew at prom, happy to make Simon happy by being his brother’s date. She knew Simon was out dancing too. In the middle of prom, she led Andrew to a house where he panicked because he thought that he was supposed to kiss her as his date, but she had only laughed and pulled him up to the rooftop with her.

There on the roof top was a smiling Simon and a guy that Andrew had seen in church. He was introduced to Andrew as Alvin, a young attendant at their church.

For this one night, Simon wasn’t thinking of his brother moving. For this one night, Simon wasn’t worried about his grades or how well he did in church. For this one night, Simon was drunk in bliss and not the usual alcohol he and Theo stole from their parents’ liquor cabinets but on the laughter he shared with his best friends.

Because back then, he still considered the angel his looks were a carbon copy of, his twin brother, as his best friend. But all of that was about to change. Simon would no longer be an angel, it would take less than an apple to make him an angel fallen from grace. All that would take was a hand holding another, for the poison to act fast and act hard, clipping him of his wings.

No longer would they hang angels up in the Christmas tree. No longer would Simon and Andrew be best friends.

[apat-tatlo]

My beloved—he is a nobleman with golden branches and leaves translation by kawaiikell