apeiisms

[apeiisms]

                 ❛ Roxanne? Cool name. ❜ 

                               Zane smiles, shaking her hand with a more                                 light grasp than he normally would. She was                                 quite petite. He was usually too forceful with                                 people -- sure, it wasn't on purpose. But, no                                 one seemed to care about that when he was                                 crushing        their        hand       accidentally. 

                                                 He shifted and balanced his box more easily,                                                   making sure he wasn't going to drop it and                                                   make a fool of himself. First impressions &                                                   all  meant  too  much  when  moving  places.

                  ❛ Looks like you're my neighbor, then.                      I got 106. By the way-- you smell                      really good. Perfume?  ❜  

                                 Yes, Zane. Because that doesn't make you                                   sound weird. He puts on a sheepish smile &                                  clears his throat. He's always been a bit bad                                   with personal space problems. He can't help it.

                  “—- Oooof!” The hallway was dim despite it                   being only the afternoon. The only light that                   existed was the particle laced dust dappled                   against the worn, tattered carpet through the                   window at the end of the hall.                   Which subsequently was the reason why she                   had barely seen the man who had bumped into                   her; nearly knocking her thin frame to the ground.                   Fluttering a shocked sapphire gaze, Roxanne                   curled a thin, brunette strand behind a crimson                   tipped ear before as she stared up at the man                   who held out a large, strong hand.                  ”Er, uh, yeah! I’m Roxanne, Roxanne Ritchi. I                  live in number 105, nice t’meet you Zane!”                  Nervously worrying her bottom lip, she reached                  out a delicate hand and and grasped his, shaking                  it firmly, shifting between nervousness and                  excitement.

[apeiisms]

                    ❛ oh? about what? ❜

       ”Actually, I’m not sure. But I stopped         you to ask a few questions. I’m… A         little lost.”

[apeiisms]

i dislike this new editor. but, it could be worse. they could take away html all together and have it be like facebook. so i mean.

[apeiisms]

[jane]

[txt]:….Okay. So how your date went?.           Because that’s what you wanted me to ask I guess.

[ text ]   it wasn't a date.                      i told her i wasn't interested.

[apeiisms]

                                  ❛    well, more like a  nickname?    ❜

                He nods and laughs a bit,                  rubbing at the back of his                  neck. He knew it was just                  as   strange   sounding  at                 times. Either way, he didn't                  mind.  As  long  as he was                  being spoken to, he was to                  be   content   with   his   lot. 

                  ❛                                   Is that your name? ❜

          And she looks at him with a smile, as if not one-hundred           percent convinced that Zane is his name. Perhaps it’s a           nickname? Or maybe because it’s shorter?

                    Either way, her words were airy and soft.

          Just like her smile is. Simply because meeting people           and making friends was something rare for her, but           when she does, she’s nothing but  h a p p y.

[apeiisms]

[ jane ]

[txt]: well she must be really blind. [txt]: my question is why do I have to know this?, are you trying to           make me jealous?

[ text ]   what? i'm not! [ text ]   i was just confused.

[apeiisms]

[ comin for yo girl ]

[apeiisms]

[ con. ] || texts from last night

[ jane ]

[txt]: Did you really needed to let me know this? [txt]: are you sure it was you and not other guy? because… I have my doubts.

[ text ]   oh it was me [ text ]   this one girl came over and grabbed my hand and told me i was her date. 

[apeiisms]

[ jane ]

❛I don’t have class tomorrow, so no I don’t have   to study. What do you need my shift for?, im not   the one to decide that’s John, talk to him.❜ She had two shifts afternoon and night,she didn’t mind, she loved the place and had been working there for two years now. ❛—-not the puppy eyes again.❜

                             ❛    --dad wanted me to.                                    you know he prefers                                   i get in the three jobs                                   a day. and i know you                                   like studying. worth a                                                 shot.      ❜

            He smiles a bit and bats his              eyes. He knows she's weak             to his normal looks. But, he's              not doing it on purpose. 

[apeiisms]

[text] Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

meme | ask | accepting

[ text ]   so i have personal space problems. [ text ]   not my fault i'm too friendly. 

[apeiisms]

[text] Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today? [text] The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here [text] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after. [text] I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW [text] So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one’s for Team USA. [text] He gave me the “find somebody who wants to date you for who you are” speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants. [text] I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese [text] I just got high off one hit and then Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refrigerator and researching ways to replace it [text] Seriously. I’m like, “Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you’re so fucking intelligent I’m turned on?” [text] Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet? [text] He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I’m keeping him. [text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life. [text] It’s a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later. [text] Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever. [text] Lesson learned. Don’t roleplay with a real knife. [text] We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman’s birthday party for the food. Whoops. [text] He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle. [text] I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I’d say it was a pretty successful Thursday night. [text] I’m wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real. [text] He’s like… An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It’s almost unsettling [text] I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I’ve found the One. [text] Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while… if you happen to find your balls then join us [text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”… [text] and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba” [text] so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. [text] Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. [text] Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me [text] We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sounds logical. Thank you daylight savings. [text] when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was “chug-a-lug” [text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork. [text] Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine [text] My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there. [text] He told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him [text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten [text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly. [text] He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter. [text] we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury [text] I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man’s heart. [text] When was the last time you wore pants? [text] I’ve replaced you with thin mints and masturbation [text] Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast. [text] Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time [text] Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent [text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person. [text] I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how’s your day going? [text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today. [text] We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What’s wrong with this tradition? [text] all i’ve had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila. [text] Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don’t exist? [text] Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special [text] And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention [text] This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the “High While Analyzing Disney Movies” texts begin. [text] Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won’t quit poking me on fb [text] I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes [text] One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won’t be me. I’m drinking liquor out of a fishbowl. [text] You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy [text] im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster [text] just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing. [text] I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on [text] Let’s play a little game called “Chill the Fuck Out” - you’re our first contestant [text] Didn’t get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie. [text] I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion. [text] you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat [text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? [text] We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out [text] maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game [text] i think its awesome that according to your mom i’m your friend that caught on fire. [text] So fucked up. Can’t tell if I’m starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out. [text] I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day. [text] Vodka is such a love hate relationship. [text] you traded sex for a burrito? [text] I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos. [text] You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there. [text] it’s not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher. [text] You’re always adorable, but when you’re drunk, you’re like Chia Pet adorable. [text] this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest [text] I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box [text] I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old’s Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day. [text] It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka. [text] You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go [text] Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome. [text] we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos” [text] quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you [text] I left a cheeto on everyone’s car trailing to the house i’m at, hanzel and gretel style. [text] Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again. [text] nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs [text] When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar. [text] kinda considering buying a life alert for sophomore year [text] My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something. [text] Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex. [text] you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing ‘follow the yellowbrick road’. i’m pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted [text] It’s like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. [text] did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes? [text] The world would be so much better with thought bubbles. [text] I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy! [text] You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen. [text] I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. [text] So I woke up today with someone’s door knob in my pocket. I hope everybody else got out of the house ok. [text] So we successfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know. [text] Because when I say ‘You shouldn’t drink anymore’, she hears, ‘I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’ [text] okay, this game isn’t funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are. [text] The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing. [text] when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed [text] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat. [text] You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone [text] never. drinking. again. [text] I’m gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see. [text] got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night [text] I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now [text] i’m out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction. [text] Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.

texts from last night! meme

[apeiisms]

[ jane ]

✖ &. apeiisms┊ Tarzan

She had been working for 4 hours straight, taking orders here and there. Delicate fingers took the tray it had been fifteen minutes since she took the order, she didn’t want to  let the clients wait another minute more. The brunette turned around to found a family face staring, she raised her eyebrows. ❛——not now, I have work.❜ Jane mumbled, avoiding the young man in front of her, she smiled at the couple on the table waiting, with a polite nod she asked if they needed anything and turned on her feet to find green eyes again. ❛Tarzan, please—-I thought we had   talked about this already.❜

                             ❛    --i just wanted to  see                                   if  you'd  let  me   take                                   your second shift. you                                   nee d to  study,  right?       ❜

            They  both  worked  there.  It              was  the  most  he could offer.              He  had  to  work,  too,  but  at              least he could offer something.

[apeiisms]

starter for thirdfiighter

                                  ❛    nah-- i think it's kind of                                         cool that your hair's so                                        short.             suits you.   ❜

[apeiisms]

starter for skillfullytenacious

                                  ❛    you live in this apartment?                                         --i just moved in. sorry--my                                        name's tar--er. zane. nice to                                       meet                                 you.   ❜

                He extended a hand, holding a box with                  his other hand towards the woman before                  him. He offered her a friendly smile, always                  happy to make a new friend. He was known                  for getting into people's space accidentally.                  Even if he had just bumped into her in the                  hallway.

[apeiisms]

starter for bupagentkent

                                  ❛    what? i'm allowed to                                          skate                here.    ❜

[apeiisms]

starter for meaningmoon

                                  ❛    just call me zane and make                                        everyone's life a little easier.    ❜

                He chuckles slightly, crossing arms over                  his chest. His parents had called him that                  since he was young -- it was easier to get                  out than Tarzan. That, and it was better to                 not be called after with that outrageous war                  yell every time someone heard his name.

[apeiisms]

like this post for a starter!