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and to be honest it's Saturday

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say something funny

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《Jason Todd and Bruce Wayne: Father Figure》

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Jason Todd “Through the Years” AESTHETICS

“I generally have several madness-inducing hallucinations before breakfast. And nothing in the real world can be as frightening as what we can imagine… right?”

Fancast: Matthew Daddario

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i need to get into cars

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House would have figured out what’s wrong with Will Graham after nearly killing him and would have been like oh yeah also your therapist has been feeding you poison chicken soup that’s why you’re getting worse, probably should check his freezer too the guys not subtle with the cannibalism. But it’s easy to miss all this when you’re getting bent over the therapy chair instead of sitting in it.

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"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

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It's still kinda wild how Phineas and Ferb managed to completely hijack an idiom. Now whenever someone hears a sentence leading with "If I had a nickel for everytime [...]", odds are their brain auto fills with "I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice," rather than "I'd be rich," or "I could [action that requires purchasing something requiring an obscene amount of money]". Y'know, what the idiom originally was

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hyperfixations are so embarrassing like nooo don’t look I have a crush. on this tv show

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I need a situation where one of the younger batkids are in an argument with Jason, and bring up the fact that he "wasn't a good kid"

Damian: "Tch. Todd, you are just angry because you were too busy rebelling to get father's attention."

Jason:

Dick: "..What?"

Damian: "Your degenerative behavior as a child is the whole reason father does not respect you now."

Bruce: "Damian, Jason was a saint."

Damian: "What?"

Dick: "Jason had a self imposed bed time."

Bruce: "He had a weird obsession with homework.."

Dick: "Once, I tried to sneak him out, and he cried."

Bruce: "I once implied that he could sneak out, and he cried."

Damian:

Jason: "Dami, B and I don't get along because of our terrible morals."

Bruce: "Well, I wouldn't say that-"

Jason: "He hates me because we both have extremely fucked up versions of justice that we don't agree on-"

Bruce: "Now, I never said-"

Jason: "I was a child and he hated me. He hates children-"

Bruce: "God damnit, Jason-"

Damian:

Damian: "My whole perspective has been altered."

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AU where when Bruce gets lost in time he ends up helping start the Stonewall Riots 🙏. Like it could be an accident or it could be on purpose but I need it to happen. And then whenever one of the batkids tries to jokingly accuse him of homophobia, he’s just like “actually, I threw the first brick at stonewall” and nobody knows if he’s telling the truth or not. But then like he’ll also be so adamantly against homophobia and sometimes he struggles not to bring it up in conversation.

Bruce: You’re grounded.

Tim: Wow, during Pride Month??? Way to let your biphobia show.

Bruce: My brick gave you pride month so I’m immune to that accusation.

Tim: What the fuck??? What does that even mean???

Damian, at dinner, talking about transphobes in his classes: I understand violence is discouraged at the academy, but surely this can be the exception.

Alfred: Unfortunately not Master Dam-

Bruce: Back in my day, we used to hit them with bricks and beer bottles.

Everyone: 👁️👄👁️

Alfred, trying to remember any incidents where this happened: ????

Damian: Thank you for the advice, Father.

Dick and Jason, getting picked up from the police station for getting involved in a riot against transphobes and homophobes: Listen, we can explain -

Bruce, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye: I’m so happy you decided to continue the family tradition. I couldn’t be more proud.

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WISDOM UPDATE

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Anonymous Batfam Petty Grievance Box

• “Whoever keeps turning off my podcasts mid-workout is a coward. Let me suffer in peace.” — not jason (absolutely jason)

• “Why are there five grappling guns missing? WHY? I labeled mine. With stickers.” — tim. definitely tim. the stickers say “Property of Tech Goblin.”

• “If I find one more batarang in the toaster, I will scream. This is not enrichment. I am not a zoo exhibit.” — stephanie, unhinged and valid

• “Damian keeps feeding Titus steak while I get protein bars labeled ‘combat fuel.’ I am not a war machine.” — duke. powered by rage and mystery meat.

• “Dick is not allowed to do backflips during emotional conversations. It’s confusing.” — jason, who got distracted mid-trauma dump

• “This is not a grievance. Just letting you all know: I hid glitter in Bruce’s cape lining. Let the chaos unfold.” — unknown (it was cass.)

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Thunderbolts* (2025)