aplacenoneknows

[aplacenoneknows]

you'll get there baby. slowly but surely. dated 23rd July 2024

I want a love that is so full of passion and so intense that you can see it a mile away.

I want a love that's kind and gentle and forgiving.

I want a love that is loud and bursting.

I want a love that is different.

I want a love that is joyful and willing.

I want a love that loves unconditionally.

I want a love that is tangible.

I want a love that is real.

I want a love that is mine.

[aplacenoneknows]

Oh baby girl, you were there for you, like always, always strong, always bold, always bright, you were there when no one else was and i'm proud. you swam through those waves, through the storm, you held your breath and you came up, you still are at every crash and you keep going cause you got you. No one else. no one. and we're learning that's okay. its sad and its hurts but it's okay. I love you. I'm so proud of you.

It's an overwhelming sadness.

Who knew the word "tired" could hold such meaning.

It's the tears that stream down your face, but you can still fake a smile through it.

Does anything matter?

Don't open up again. Don't clutter other people's minds.

I'm just tired.

Don't dampen their spirit with your sorrows and troubles.

I can't breathe.

[aplacenoneknows]

oh darling, 2022 us would be proud at how more risk taking and fearless we have become. ive done so much in 2024. Ive been insanely happy and insanely estatic, done wild things, been insanely hurt and upset too but thats apart of life.

I am so happy for you.

2023.

I want a new life.

I want to be happy.

I want to wake up and be at peace.

I want to love myself more.

I want to love life more.

I want to be fun.

I want to have fun.

I want to go out more.

I want to live more.

I want to smile more.

I want to live on my own.

I want to have new friends.

I want to know more fun people.

I want to see more than my house and office.

I want to take more risk.

I just want something different.

But it all probably won't happen but that's selfish and wrong of me. :)

[aplacenoneknows]

soft sleepy sex that turns into being held down by ur neck and being used like it’s the last time they’ll ever get to fuck you

[aplacenoneknows]

DEAD

“'Le Mépris “

[aplacenoneknows]

Hi,

Of the years I've lived (not very long), 2023 has been the hardest for me, emotionally, mentally, and physically. It probably drained so much of me. I was probably at my lowest and saddest point in life and not a lot of people knew and the ones who did didn't know to what extent.

Waking up the majority of the days was the toughest battle to push through. Having to make conversation and act like I wasn't dying on the inside was the second but I did it every day.

I have to admit not all days were bad. Someday I found myself genuinely excited and laughing and wanting to spend the rest of my day doing what I was doing but sooner or later that feeling would fade or decline with a great speed.

It was almost all aspects of my life that felt like such a failure and so hopeless. I had no joy and I just wasn't happy.

But,

Now it being the 2nd day of 2024, and when I reflect even though I still get emotional thinking about it, I'm proud of myself that I survived and the majority of it alone. I'm thankful for the people who cheered me up and allowed me to be myself in all moods and ways but truly I've never felt so alone. A lot of people accomplished a lot of things for 2023 but I'm happy that I just survived through it.

I don't think I can compare how awful my life is to anyone cause genuinely it's not. I'm fed and clothed and loved and sheltered and so much more. But it's been so empty and lonely and it is like something is constantly stuck in my throat and I lose the ability to breathe.

2023 taught me that I'm capable of much more, that being unhappy just traps you and takes so much of your time and sometimes it's okay to force yourself to be happy. To find happiness in the smallest of things. To stop comparing life cause everyone has it tough.

Having said that, that doesn't mean cause it's a new year I instantly am happy or I feel nothing like before, but what I would like to believe is that I'm choosing not to. I'm choosing to find joy in the world. Be more present and grateful. Forcing myself out of that hole and just being able to breathe. It's going to be even tougher and trying but I want to be intentional, with my time, my life, my joy, my work, my studies, myself, whatever I do. I want them to have a purpose and a drive and something I can be proud of by myself.

2023 was an absolute fuckery.

But I want to take it as something I can look back on and say I got through it. Cause I did.

I want to be better. I want to be happy. So I'm starting here. All over again. It is a bit sad if you go to see it, I wasted a whole year being sad but it gave me perspective and taught me many things, more than I realised at the time.

So here's to being more intentional!

[aplacenoneknows]

Dated Nov 11th 2023

A letter to me for next year

hope you're happier. - hope you've accomplished even 1 thing you want to for the year.

If you read this before a year, let this serve as a reminder. Save, be happy, make decision that allow you to be free and not chained down. Do good, study hard its for you and no one else. Get that degree, earn the years, and keep learning. Learn something new every quarter. Keep busy. Prioritize better. Save save save

Go out more. Contradicts with saving. But do it for you, don't regret the year. I hope by the end of 2024. You would have chosen to do things that make you happy.

Figure it out, fight for it. Don't limit yourself to the usual 9 to 5. Push harder. Prove yourself not to your company but to yourself.

I hope you are happy cause 2023 sucked. You know how it was, everything was not it. You're relationship became stronger but talk to him more about how you feel. Don't hide. I know it'shard but push it. It's only better for you.

By the end of 2024, I just want you to be in different place, a better place, a happier one Find joy in small things. I hope you still colour.

Learn from your mistakes. Please. Take things like a champ. I hope you let go of the hurt of 2023. It's alot I know but I hope it doesn't sting anymore and it doesn't make your throat feel tight everytime you think of it.

Let go, choose it everytime. Talk to God. I know it's different. But I hope by 2024 its better. Maybe not the same but better.

Don't get more pets. 2 dogs and 4 cats aregood :) Not sure if Brownie (hole in the ear) will stick around.

Idk what else to say. Just smile more but honestly. Keep evaluating yourself. Let go of people, you've outgrown them. Don't take them back cause you deserve better. It's sucks and it's sad but you'll find where you fit in. Atleast I hope you do:

I hope you have someone you're close to in 2024. Someone who understands you or at least hears you out, that you can speak to and trust and who gets on well with you, your life, and your values:

Sigh.

Learn from older people. More experienced people. Never stop asking questions. Takenotes. Get used to it.

Be more bold.

Choose joy. In any situation. Train yourself.

Okay. I think l'm done. Maybe l'l| write another but for now. Be happy

[aplacenoneknows]

Do you ever just miss a bond you had with someone? Like regardless of what happened between you two, you miss the conversations, the laughs you guys had over the stupidest things, or the way that they were there for you when you weren't at the best. The little things matter.

[aplacenoneknows]

“Much of our life is spent wishing others understood us better than they do.”

— Gordon Allport

[aplacenoneknows]

“I’m exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel.”

— Unknown

[aplacenoneknows]

Breaking Bad

[aplacenoneknows]

[aplacenoneknows]

I'm a happy personality stuck in a sad mind

[aplacenoneknows]

“i started writing because i was incapable of talking”

—

[aplacenoneknows]

I feel so empty. All the time. I just want it to stop.

[aplacenoneknows]

Everything is bothering me but I’m being so normal and quiet about it

[aplacenoneknows]

via weheartit