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aplacetowrite15 · 3 years

Text

What Have You Done (Part 2)

Pairing: None

Warnings: Blood and injuries and stuff.

Word Count: 2.3K

Summary: You leaving the team to join the side of the villains has the rest of them to realize that they’re responsible for pushing you away.

A/N: I will do a part 3. Also all the support and love from the first part was honestly so amazing. So many of you guys sent in ideas and things you would like to see in the 2nd part and I honestly want to use them all so I’m gonna try. An anon mentioned that they wanted to see a face off between Zatanna and (Y/N) so this is it!

Part 1 Part 3

“Finally, just who I’ve been waiting for!” You gave Zatanna a Cheshire grin that sent shivers down her spine, “Finally decided to stop hiding behind your teammates Zatanna? Who’s the cheap sorcerer now?”

She clenched her teeth and glared at you but you didn’t flinch. Your head was held high and the glow in your face was unmistakable. The months away from the team had did you well. It didn’t take a sorcerer to know who was the most powerful one in the room, the power was practically radiating off you.

Zatanna felt inadequate for the first time. Outclassed. Knowing that just a few months ago she was treated as the most powerful had given her pride a hit. So, standing in front of you she felt like she needed to prove something.

You smirked when she raised her hands and prepared herself to fight you. You did the same, widening your stance and balling your hands into fists. If she wanted to clearly defeat you, she would need all the power she could muster.

“Rehtag eht citsym rewop!”

Zatanna’s eyes began to glow and you sighed, feeling the atmosphere in the room get thicker and electrified with magic. It was intoxicating and made your head spin slightly but didn’t deter your concentration.

There was a beat of silence, where one of you were waiting for the other to strike first.

“Erif nrub, nordlauc elbbub!”

Flames exploded throughout the room, burning everything in sight as they rushed towards you. You vaguely registered her unconscious teammates lying on the ground and wondered if she was trying to kill them or was just stupid. The summoning spell she cast initially showed its effectiveness as the flames grew in height and you felt it’s heat.

“Incendia Absum!”

A hard wind knocked Zatanna to the wall, blowing out the flames until they were just smarting on the ground. You didn’t wait for her to recover, casting another spell immediately after. However, she was able to protect herself with a shield, throwing a blast at you.

You groaned when you felt it hit you, knocking you to your knee for a second before you were up again, summoning a bolt of lightning to strike her in her place. She redirected it towards you and you expelled it outwards, shooting a hole through the ceiling.

You were more powerful but the new power was too raw, too uncontrolled. Zatanna on the other hand was more experienced, in both magic and battle.

It frustrated you, she was still faster than you, still better than you. You had been given power by birth, you had worked day and night to control it, you had faced endless ostracization and rejection. And she was still better than you.

Your moves started getting a little clumsy and uncalculated when you realized that she was still evenly matched. Even after all this, she could still take you on in battle. You expected the battle to get done in a short time, with you obliterating her, but she was proving to still be better than you.

Even if it was just by a miniscule.

“Punctum Contigo!”

The humane side of you winced at Zatanna’s shriek but the part of you that was turned to a monster by your team. The ugly part which clouds your judgement felt satisfied. Finally, it felt like you were putting a dent in her.

You didn’t wait before casting another spell, having Zatanna at your mercy from your onslaught.

Seeing her unconscious body on the ground gave you some sort of sick piece. Seeing her put in her place, a place that couldn’t hurt you anymore, that couldn’t make you feel less than anymore.

You told yourself that you were trying to get revenge, that you were trying to make her feel what you felt tenfold. You were trying to teach her a lesson and make her sorry for ever thinking that she was better than you, for ever treating you less that.

But the humane, vulnerable part of you knew that it was because you were afraid. You were scared that even with your newfound power she would still be more powerful. That she would get your former team to hunt you down like savages. That she would still manage to hurt you, even after everything.

The only way to protect yourself from getting hurt was to hurt your enemies first.

So, you turned your gaze cold at her limp body and tried to steel your nerves, preparing your mind for this last spell. It would only take a second. The first time is always the hardest.

That’s what Klarion told you. That’s what you told yourself.

A part of you wanted to leave. Take your victory in stride and walking away humbly. You already proved your worth and power. You already proved you were just as powerful as she was and with some training, you’d exceed her.

But you knew that if you didn’t do this, it wouldn’t stop Klarion from turning his back on you. You couldn’t face rejection again, not after getting so close to him. You couldn’t let him down when he was the one to show you compassion and after he took you under his wing.

He said bigger things were coming. He said that the clouds of war were coming close and soon all of the world will see your greatness.

You wanted to be by his side throughout it.

You needed to be by his side throughout it.

So, you took a deep breath and raised your hand, “Exeejay Animus Om—”

“That’s enough (Y/N)!”

Even though you hide your relief from them well, it was apparent to you. You had been so close to crossing a line, a line that you knew you could never turn back from. You were just waiting for someone to stop you, someone to give you an exit so you didn’t have to admit that you were looking for one.

You turned to see your former teammates. They were all in a defensive stance, watching you carefully when you didn’t let your arm relax, it was looming ominously over Zatanna’s head still.

“You don’t have to do this…” Aqualad started but you barely registered his words. It was his tone that was compelling you. It was sweet and soft and understanding, one that you’ve never heard before.

You knew you didn’t have to do this; you knew you could quit and walk away but for some reason you didn’t want to let your team know that you spared them from mercy. That you walked away because of the goodness that remained in your heart.

You wanted them to feel regret and pain and guilt for turning you into something that they swore to fight. You wanted them to see the consequences of their actions and beg for your mercy, beg for your kindness and hope that you will forgive them.

They tried to take a step closer but your body seized.

“Please listen to us, (Y/N), we want to apologize.” Artemis began and you inhaled sharply but didn’t interrupt. Your pride told you not to listen, not to accept their apology, but your compassion was screaming to give in. You knew what your heart wanted but refused to accept it.

You didn’t want to give them the benefit of your pure heart.

“We never should have made you feel like you were less than Zatanna. We acted horribly towards you and we’re sorry.” Robin said, stepping forward but stopping when you held a hand up, trying to tell him not to come any closer.

“We know that we can’t possibly begin to make it up to you for our behaviour but we want to try. Please, stop this. Please, just one last time, we’re asking you to take the high road.”

Wally’s words rung in your head. What happens if you stopped this here? What happens if you listen?

You wanted to. The path of hatred and vengeance and greed and pride was draining and scary and alone. One that you wanted to stop treading. So, what would happen if you finally stopped trying to please everyone else and did what your heart said for once?

You were honestly scared to find out.

“I—I can’t…” You whispered and their faces fell. You sighed, turning to leave, thinking of the spell to conjure up a portal in the middle of the destroyed cave.

M’Gann shouted something just as you muttered the spell and you froze, neck snaping towards her, “What?”

“It’s the date of your birthday. You like books and old Disney movies. You like taking long, hot baths when you’re stressed and have a bunch of self care products!”

Your brows furrowed; how did she know?

The others seemed to catch drift of what she was trying to do, “You like the pink sticky notes instead of the yellow ones and you like the ones in different shapes.” Conner said and you were confused and mildly surprised. Surely your file couldn’t have had all this information?

“You like long socks better than ankle socks and you like buying them in different colours and with different characters on them!”

“You always carry a polaroid camera around and you like keeping a diary of them.”

“You used to practice ballet when you were younger and gave it up in to join this team and use your magic for good.”

They all began chanting facts about you left and right and you felt a little overwhelmed. Did they really know all of this about you? Had you been wrong? Did they really care about you?

“We know we let you down, (Y/N), but from now on we’re going to try to set things straight.” Artemis stated, coming forward. This time you didn’t try to stop her. She stood right in front of you but didn’t reach for you, she was showing you that she wasn’t afraid of you without overstepping her boundaries. She was waiting for you to show her that she could.

“Please, give us the chance.”

You could see the sincerity and compassion in her eyes. All the emotions she was trying to communicate towards you. You could feel her grief and guilt and you could finally see that the team honestly did want you back with them.

A weight felt like it was lifted off your shoulders and the fog had finally lifted. You stared up at her innocently and she gave you a small smile, seeing the kind-hearted girl she knew.

Hesitantly, you held out a hand to her, reaching for her and she did the same, nodding with an affectionate and motherly smile. One of acceptance, one of love, and it made your heart flutter. Just as your fingers grazed hers you heard Zatanna move behind you.

“Etativel sworra ot em!”

“NO!”

You gasped, mouth falling open in horror as your face went slack. You took pried your gaze from Artemis’ horrified gaze as you glanced down to see the multiple arrows piercing your body and your legs trembled, sending you tumbling to the floor.

Artemis was right after you, pulling your body into her arms before you could hit the floor and you screeched, feeling the arrows move and try and tear you apart. You choked down a wet cough, the metallic taste of your own blood filling your mouth and tears filled your eyes when you realized what happened.

“You betrayed me…” You whimpered, looking up at Artemis and letting your tears stream down your cheeks. Everything burned and your throat seized up painfully, filling your mouth with more blood that you had to spit out.

“No, no, we didn’t, I swear we didn’t!” She said, examining your wounds. You were bleeding out too fast, the arrows had pierced through you and your blood was pooling on the ground. Her eyes misted and her throat contracted when she realized that there was no way to help you.

The others quickly ran up to you, frantically trying to figure something out. They couldn’t give up this easily, they just couldn’t.

“I believed that you could love me, and you betrayed me.” Your face scrunched up as you started crying softly, you were losing feeling, the arms wrapped around you didn’t feel like anything and you couldn’t hear anything over the ringing in your ears.

So, you couldn’t hear your team cry out for you, “We didn’t, (Y/N), we do love you. We love you, please, don’t.”

Breathing was getting harder, more painful, enough air wasn’t reaching your lungs. Your vision slowly got blurry and your hearing became muffled. Your eyes closed but you still had some life left in you.

Just a little.

Just enough to—

“Abayo Exorior.”

You turned into mist and vanished from her arms, leaving the bloody arrows behind. The team was left knelt around a pool of your blood that was soaking their uniforms. Artemis’ clothes were stained with your blood and the image of you, bleeding out and crying from a broken heart in her arms was burnt into her memory.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what had happened.

They took a moment to gather themselves before standing. Kaldur and Wally wrapped their arms around Artemis, trying to stabilize her when she began crying, trying to wipe off the blood that stained her hands.

They all turned around to face Zatanna with icy glares and resisted killing her then and there.

They wanted to curse her out, scream at her, but the image of your nearly dead body seemed to shake all of them so much that they didn’t have the energy to, but just as they were about to leave, making a silent promise that this would be the last time any of them would associate with the likes of her, Robin spat out his last words to her.

“What have you done.”

Forever Taglist: @simonsbluee

DC Taglist: @emmacata

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aplacetowrite15 · 3 years

Text

What Have I Done (Part 3)

Pairing: None

Warnings: None I think.

Word Count: 4.3K

Summary: You leaving the team to join the side of the villains has the rest of them to realize that they’re responsible for pushing you away.

A/N: There will be an alternate ending for a special celebrating me gaining 500 followers! The alternate ending won’t be that fulfilling either to be honest. I hope you like this part because I felt kind of weird while writing it.

Part 1 Part 2

“You’re off the mission. (Y/N) is strictly Justice League priority now.” Batman informed, voice gruff with either disappointment or firmness but neither of them could identify it. They had been hanging their heads low in front of the entire JLA as they explained what had happened in the last few days.

Zatanna was confined to her room, no one would even look at her, much less talk to her, all of them were filled with rage that she took a moment to pretend that she was down before stabbing you in the back. Literally.

A part of them was reminded of how this started out, with a scared lonely girl trapped in her room, after having lost all her friends and now having to face herself all on her own. They didn’t want to repeat what happened but even then, they couldn’t bring themselves to look at her face. They were just reminded of how the last time they did, they were covered in your blood.

The Justice League found out shortly after, of course they did and the team could identify many different emotions on their faces. Some were unmistakably disappointed while the others looked guilty and upset. Like they blamed themselves for not checking up on what was going on here. Black Canary looked the most distraught by far. Rightfully so because she thought of herself to be responsible for the mental wellbeing of the protégés.

The young heroes were lost, disappointed in themselves and their hearts felt like it was being ripped in two whenever they remembered the way you started wailing when you thought they had betrayed you. You were too far gone by then, not listening to anything they had heard and just sobbing in Artemis’ arms as she tried to bring you back to earth.

When you vanished, they hadn’t known if you had survived or not, waiting in anxiety for the next few days, assuming the next time the JLA would call them was to inform them of your death. Conner swore that if you had really passed then he wouldn’t let Zatanna stay here and be part of the team.

The others wanted to agree, they wanted to tell her to pack her bags and leave, but they couldn’t bring themselves to do to her what they did to you. They wondered whether that was fair to you, whether they should show Zatanna the compassion they never showed you but they also knew that two wrongs didn’t make a right.

But none of them could bring themselves to include her in anything.

They next few days went by in a blur, not knowing when morning bled into the night of sleeplessness. The place they called their home felt haunted with ghosts of their past. When they passed the docking bay, they’d sometimes hear you screaming and wailing just as the arrows pierced you.

It wasn’t long before the JLA called an emergency meeting and they were forced to tell their mentors everything that had happened. They wanted to blame Zatanna for everything, they wanted to put the blame off on somebody but they knew that it was party theirs as well.

And they didn’t know how to make up for their sins.

But they knew that they still wanted to try.

So, when Batman said they were off the mission, they couldn’t help protesting but he quickly shut them all down, “(Y/N)’s out for blood,” His voice made the revelation all more chilling, they didn’t want to believe that there wasn’t any hope for you, “Your blood, specifically. You don’t have the training, nor the firepower to take on someone in her league. You’ll have to let us handle her.”

“But Batman we want to help get her back. This can’t be the end.”

“(Y/N) is the part of the Light now. Our mission objective still remains the same. To defeat the Light.”

This didn’t sit right with them. They could read between the lines and understand what Batman meant but they still couldn’t bring themselves to believe it. This was their teammate they were talking about. The mission couldn’t have been more important than her.

But they couldn’t bring themselves to ask. To swallow the lump in their throats and really ask if this could possibly cost you your life. Not after you just managed to get it back.

***

“Ready to make those Justice Babies pay, young one?” Klarion asked from your side, fuelling your pain, adding anger to your grief until you weren’t sure what you were feeling. Your brain and heart were overloaded, overwhelmed, until you couldn’t feel anything anymore.

It was scary, not being able to feel the anger, the pain, the sorrow that you knew you were entitled to. All you could feel was cold, emptiness. You felt numb and it frightened you.

Luckily, Klarion was there for you, whispering in your ear about how you were supposed to be feeling and filled you with pseudo-rage and pain. You knew you were supposed to be distraught and angry and you honoured yourself by trying to obliterate them.

Maybe when they were finally gone, you’d get closure.

So, you agreed to everything Klarion said without a second thought, letting him use your powers to fulfil his tasks and wishes. Something in you told you that he was simply manipulating you but the other reasoned that he was trying to help you through this by making you feel something.

You were tired.

Tired of trying to win over people. Tired of trying to do anything. It would be so much easier if everything would just stop for a second. For forever.

You could recognize your desires easily. You wanted a life where you didn’t have to run after people like a lap dog, where you could be worth of love and adoration without having to do something first.

But you were too far gone now, and no amount of wishing could fulfil your dream. No amount of power or magic could undo whatever what does. To heal the scars and give you a clean slate.

You didn’t belong anywhere. Your heart wasn’t with the Light and you couldn’t be with the team. Every time you thought of them conspiring against you so Zatanna could land the final blow, your stomach clenched painfully and yet you still couldn’t feel anything. Not the pain of their rejection. Not the rage at their betrayal. No thirst for revenge. Nothing.

Re-joining them didn’t feel right. Yet, destroying them didn’t feel right either.

And you wondered whether it was because you were too weak to go through with it, or whether you were strong enough not to.

But still, you didn’t say the words out loud. You didn’t admit it to anything. You couldn’t be that pathetic girl still chasing for everyone’s acceptance. Eventually you had to realize that the dream you once had couldn’t be achieved. It just couldn’t.

So, every night you imagine yourself shattering it, every last memory, every last desire, every last emotion. Anyone would have thought you were hiding the sorrow and anger but they would be wrong.

You were trying to forget every last good memory. Trying to taint everything good you felt with your blood and tears.

The mornings your parents would wake you up before preschool and take you hand in hand before dropping you off and picking you up at that very same spot was tainted by the memory of their faces turning dark when they found out that you weren’t their real daughter.

The days in your school when you would giggle with your friends at your table over how your teacher was wearing ugly shoes and scribbling on each other’s books for fun was followed by them not even bothering to contact you when you suddenly left school. You were easy to forget by them.

You remembered the mornings that the team would remember to call you down for breakfast. It was in the beginning, back when you were a fresh face to the team, you remember eating cereal and watching them joke around. Sure, a lot of them were inside jokes that you’d never quite fully understand but your morning was full of life and laughter.

You remembered the time you got hurt during a mission and was confined to bed rest for the next week. The team had visited you briefly, telling you to rest up and bringing your meals for the rest of the week. You were reminded of the days you had a fever and your parents would coddle you until you were feeling better.

That’s why it hurt. Because once upon a time you were loved, you knew what it felt like. You knew how warm it felt when your mom tucked you in and kissed your forehead. You knew how happy you felt when your dad would eat your burnt, horribly misshapen cookies and tell you they were delicious. You knew how amazing those emotions felt.

That’s why it hurt. Because you wanted that.

You wanted to feel safe and loved and appreciated like you once were. You wanted to go through sad days knowing that you’d have someone to fall back on and hold onto. Because you knew what that felt like. You wanted that.

That’s why it hurt. Because you knew you wouldn’t have that.

So, you spent nights awake, trying to remind yourself that it wasn’t worth it. Love just wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth your parent’s heartbroken faces when they found out you weren’t their real daughter. It wasn’t worth having to leave your childhood home behind to live on the streets. It wasn’t worth putting yourself out on the line just so you could have a family again.

None of it was worth it.

That’s what you spent all night telling yourself anyway.

But then you’d wake up the next morning wondering why you couldn’t have all that.

What had you done that was so wrong that you were robbed of the one thing you had wanted the most? You had loved and loved and loved until you hadn’t had any left for yourself. Why had no one returned any of it to you? Why couldn’t you have what everyone else took for granted?

You couldn’t find the answer. So, you continued to run from trying to find the answer, fearing that what lay at the end of the road wasn’t what you wanted to find out.

Maybe avoiding it wasn’t the best. Maybe forcing yourself to make tough decisions was what you had to do. Maybe admitting that you needed to leave everything, everything familiar and known, behind was just too much for you to take. Maybe taking that first step on your own, knowing that there would be absolutely no one to keep you company was just too scary.

So, you turned to Klarion with a plain face, not knowing whether your lips should be turned into a smirk of vengeance, or a scowl of fury, or a frown of despair. Although you knew one thing, no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t bring yourself to smile.

“Let’s make them wish they were never born.”

***

“What have I done?”

How did everything go so wrong so fast?

You thought you were fine with it. You thought you were fine with the chaos and the destruction. You thought you were like them. You thought you could enjoy it. That’s why you cast the spell to initiate all of it.

You thought you were fine taking a step back and watching the world burn.

It was only then you realized that it wasn’t just the world you were destroying. It was millions of innocent children who had parents who loved them. It was millions of mothers and fathers who had a safe little home with their babies. It was millions of young and old couples who held each other in the dark of night and made promises. It was millions of people who knew their journey wasn’t at its end.

You couldn’t stand back and watch them burn.

That’s what made you different from the others. You had a strong moral compass but you also believed in what you knew was right. You weren’t like Batman or Superman who saved the world because you knew wanted people to be safe and happy. You wanted to save the world because you wanted to be safe and happy.

Maybe it was selfish but it didn’t matter.

You couldn’t be responsible for hurting so many people. Something in your heart screamed at you to leave, run away and never show your face to anyone ever again because you made a bad decision.

But you knew if you wanted to make this right, you would have to face the consequences of your actions and admit what you did was something you shouldn’t have.

It was in a middle of the chaos you made that decision. With a woman screaming in the background, you screwed in your eyes shut and cast a spell to take you away. You heard the wind whip and the lights shift before growing brighter but you still didn’t open your eyes.

What were you to expect when you did? Did you even go to the right place? After everything, could you really back pedal and save everything?

You didn’t know. But you knew it was worth trying.

“(Y/N)?”

Your eyes fluttered open hearing your name called out. Through all the anxiety and guilt you couldn’t determine who was the one who said it but it didn’t matter. When your eyes opened you were faced with your old team with concern on their faces rather than the disdain you had been expecting and you felt the first emotion you had felt in a while. Relief.

“I don’t know what to do,” You whimpered out, feeling your throat close and tears bite, “Please help me.”

A sob bubbled out of your throat before your legs trembled and sent you tumbling to the floor.

Just like last time, you were caught before you could hit the ground, holding onto Wally and crying into his shoulder as you gripped his arms tightly. They shared a look over your head and you wondered whether the telepathic link was still up.

Wally gently brushed a lock of hair behind your ear when you finally stilled. Your cheeks were still wet and your throat was dry but in the warmth of Kaldur’s arms you were slowly comforted until you stopped crying.

You blinked up at them and they offered you small smiles when they noticed the innocence in your eyes. Your eyes still sparkled like a child on Christmas day when you looked at all of them.

“We’re sorry, (Y/N).” M’Gann said with a soft voice, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. The others nodded but you didn’t respond, only staring at them apprehensively, even though you were cuddling into Kaldur’s chest.

“We’re sorry for everything.”

“Please help me.”

You weren’t ready to accept their apology yet, not while there was the guilt of your chaos hanging over your head.

“What can we do?”

Your heart soared, warm sweet syrup filling it as a relieved smile spread on your face seeing their resolve. They really were going to help you. In the back of your head, you chastised yourself for still letting yourself getting deliriously happy every time they did so much as look at you fondly but you couldn’t help yourself.

You couldn’t stop yourself from getting joy from every little thing.

Maybe it was a sign of desperation, maybe a sign of vulnerability. Even then, you couldn’t brush off the feeling that maybe it was a good thing. Maybe it was a good thing that your heart was sustained by so little, that you didn’t take advantage of things. Maybe it was a good thing that you loved so easily.

And it was.

It was the best, purest and most valuable thing that anyone had ever seen in you. But the rest of the world wasn’t the same. It was filled to the brim with selfish and distant people. With people who would accept all your love, without ever giving any in return. It was cold and cruel and used people that had a bleeding heart until they were bleeding out on the floor, crying.

The world didn’t deserve your love.

Even then, you decided to take one last chance and put your trust in someone again. Of course, it wouldn’t be your last. You would continue to trust and expect the same in return and sometimes you would be disappointed.

But sometimes you would find yourself with a team of people who would go to the end of the world for you.

So, you didn’t ignore their efforts and tell yourself that you didn’t want or need their love or that you were better off alone. Instead, you returned their smiles and worked hard alongside them.

Maybe it was a mistake that you loved so much.

Or maybe it wasn’t.

***

It had taken hours to find something that might be able to counter the spell you cast, but with all of you working together you were able to find something after rifling through thousands of books and old manuscripts.

You were all slouched over different screens and books, painstakingly trying to go through them as carefully and quickly as you could. Even with Wally it seemed endless. There were multiple translators that were being used to decipher them and you were going through every elder magic book you could find.

Just when you were about to give up, a sound was heard from the doorway.

“Is this what you’re looking for?” You looked up to see Zatanna, in her hand a scroll with runes scribbled on them. You froze in your place, hearing her last spell echo in your head and the scars littered on your back burned hotly.

The team froze, eyes shifting between the two of you.

The feeling of numbness came back. You didn’t know how to react. So, you simply cast a spell to levitate what was in her grasp to you and read through it. It was a spell of redirection of energy belonging to a high class. Which meant that it could redirect your spell to act on the caster.

Your heart sunk when you realized what that meant.

You looked back up at Zatanna with an unreadable expression. She was stoic but somehow still looked vulnerable. You wondered if she had another spell hidden in her room that had a better outcome than this and was simply trying to get rid of you once again.

But when you looked deeper in her eyes, you saw it. The guilt, the regret, the same emotions that you hid from the Light when you started all of this.

You both were so similar, both girls who lost their parents and the life as they knew it changed overnight. Even down to your last day, you both were still the same.

Looking into her scared, lonely eyes, all you could see was yourself.

You wanted to hate her. She was the reason this was all happening in the first place. But you just couldn’t. You couldn’t look into her eyes and hate what you saw because in many ways, Zatanna was more pathetic than yourself.

You knew you shouldn’t run from your feelings; you knew that you would have to face them eventually. But staring at the scroll in your hand, you hardened your heart and concealed the emotions hidden in your eyes.

You wouldn’t have to worry about it once this was all over anyway.

So, you took a deep breath and stood up, nodding at the sorceress that was still standing at the doorway, “This is it, thanks.”

***

This was it. You were walking to your death and no one had any idea.

Your heart was heavy and your feet felt nailed to the floor. There were so many things you’d never have the chance to do. Never again would you see your parents. You wondered what their reaction would be if they were ever to receive the news. You wished they would be upset but it felt sick to wish unhappiness on them.

You’d never get to sleep in and watch the warm sunlight flit through the spaces in your curtains, lighting up the room with the dawn of a new day. You’d never get to huddle beneath a blanket while it storms outside, trying to fight shivers. You’d never get to feel the breeze or the sea again.

You wouldn’t get to have one last dinner with everyone you cared about, laughing about things you wouldn’t remember the next morning. You wouldn’t fall in love with someone special and have the life you always wanted.

As your last moments neared, you realized just how much you regreted in your life. Just how much you wanted but never had to courage to go after. You sighed, remembering missed opportunities and wondering what would’ve come from it had you gone after them.

But now you’d never know.

And it terrified you.

To leave everything behind and never get to accomplish anything scared you. You didn’t want to die.

Even then, you swallowed down the tears and reminded yourself that it wouldn’t last long.

You took a deep breath before putting yourself in a trance. The others watched in awe as you began to radiate heat, eyes glowing behind closed lids as your hair began to float. Words they couldn’t understand began spilling from your lips and your feet left the ground as it began to shake.

They could only watch as runes marked themselves into your skin, glowing so bright that even when they closed their eyes, they could see its outline.

Then you opened your eyes, a powerful wave rippling through you and then out. They felt it. It was warm and reassuring but also empty and cold. It sent a chill down their spines, knocking them back a few feet as you took another breath and they felt the ripple once again. Only this time, it was pulling inwards.

Along with the ripple came energy. Energy they felt phase through them before gathering in front of you like a shining sun that was so bright, they had to shield their eyes.

You hesitated, lifting a hand up to reach for it before looking at your team one last time, a sad smile growing on your cheeks.

“Don’t blame yourselves for too long, okay?” You called out and immediately you saw various emotions flash across their faces.

“(Y/N), what do you mean by that?” Artemis asked cautiously but you couldn’t swallow back your tears to answer her. Instead, you sent her a pained smile but they saw the way your lips quivered.

“Don’t do it!” Robin shouted, sprinting towards you but was knocked back. There was no way he’d be able to reach you, not with the spell active.

You blinked, trying to get your vision to clear and tears began falling. The warp in front of you was powerful and you could feel your magic getting sucked from your body into it. So far, it was working, they could tell. The skies cleared lightly and the earth stopped shaking.

But it wasn’t enough yet. You knew if you had to undo it, you’d have to erase every last trace of your magic from your body. The line of blood benders would end with you, your culture and people would end here, with you.

This was it.

“I’m sorry guys. Goodbye.” You said and M’Gann began screaming, trying to reach you as the others tried to convince you not to do it. That they’d find some other way. That’d they’d fix this without you having to give up your life.

But it was already too late.

You reached up, this time with a stronger resolved and inched closer until your fingers reached the warmth of the warp and you felt cold, the magic seeping out of you. You could feel your life leaving your body, your head tipping back slightly when you got weak.

Just when your resistance was going to disappear you felt a hand grasp yours and your eyes snapped open to see Zatanna beside you, holding your hand tightly.

She intertwined your fingers and you gasped softly seeing her start to cry.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N), for everything.”

Maybe it was because you were going to die, but you couldn’t help but smile at her, “I forgive you.”

But you meant it.

It was time to sever all the strings tying you back to this earth. You closed your eyes once the light got too blinding, relying on the warmth from Zatanna’s hand to keep you constant. Your magic was disappearing, ripping itself from your soul until there was nothing left but a ghost and with your last wisp of magic, you made one last wish.

‘A clean slate. A fresh beginning.’ You wished into the scorching heat just as it pulled you in.

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