Welcome to Apocrypals, the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible, but aren't, you know, jerks about it. Join comic book writers Benito Cereno and Chris Sims as they embark on a complete, non-sequential journey from Acts to Zephaniah, with stops in the Apocrypha along the way. A love offering will be collected: ko-fi.com/apocrypals
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You can always tell when a Bible post is taking off on Tumblr because we get tagged in it like 30 times
The Biblical figure Enoch is my favourite example of an incredibly minor character in canon who nonetheless gets massive amounts of fanfiction. "Oh he's immortal, he's the psychopomp, God imparted His Wisdom unto him, he met aliens, he spoke with angels, he's basically the Hebrew equivalent of Thoth or Hermes Trismegistus"
He is in. Two. Sentences.
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If you’re into vore, Jonah is the Bible story for you
God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft
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I would encourage anyone who finds this idea interesting to check out our episodes on Enochic literature — we’ve done like 5 or six of them. It’s very interesting to trace the route of the character of Enoch — Noah’s great grandad that God thought was a chill guy — into a massively influential figure within Jewish mystic thought whose story was essential to the development of Christianity — basically God’s adopted son with 365,000 eyes and thousands of wings etc
Here’s the first Enoch episode:
The Biblical figure Enoch is my favourite example of an incredibly minor character in canon who nonetheless gets massive amounts of fanfiction. "Oh he's immortal, he's the psychopomp, God imparted His Wisdom unto him, he met aliens, he spoke with angels, he's basically the Hebrew equivalent of Thoth or Hermes Trismegistus"
He is in. Two. Sentences.
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Anyway dni if you still support Cain, he hit his brother over the head with a fucking rock and it killed him instantly (source). I truly do not know how he still has fans. It astounds me how people can call themselves good people and still be completely fine platforming blatantly Abelist assholes like him. Smh
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no one is funnier than hanif abdurraqib (via his instagram story)
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Hey I know those guys
They’re like the main dudes of Christianity
Happy Feast of St. Peter & St. Paul! I'm sure they'd love sharing a day
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@inneskeeper this seems relevant to your interests

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! SHE DOIBLES DOWN!

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whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair
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Seems regular
was trying to remember the line "heavy is the head that carries the crown" but since I'd just looked at that cross post my brain gave me "heavy is the shoulder that carries the cross" ahsjdhab
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could a vampire survive off the wine part of a transubstantiated host if it didn't kill them on contact?
If we can assume a vampire to be successfully Roman Catholic, it would depend on if the need to feast on blood is literal or metaphorical/metaphysical. If the blood is a representation of some greater context, yes, because God shall provide. If it is a dietary restriction, no, because transubstantiation is only literally the blood of Jesus due to the presence of the Holy Spirit within the host, and a vampire's digestive tract struggles to metabolize dogma.
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I've been listening to the show since 2018 and I've been wanting to let you know I consider you guys my gateway drug from being generally skeeved out by religion back then to joining the Quakers recently. I'm very happy, Quakers are awesome, I love your show.
Hey, thank you and congratulations!
Shout out to the Quakers imo
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Solomon’s shamir, a worm with the power to cut through stone, iron and diamond, Relationes curiosæ, 1707
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I'm just stoned enough to write to you guys and tell you i actually prefer you guy's podcast over Dan McClellans content. No shade no tea just your podcast suits my tastes better. So go away imposter syndrome! (Relistening to ep 117, just in case some true doubt underlined that opening bit)
Well, thank you 🙏
I do think Dan is the best, definitely the vanguard of what has become a minor wave of public-facing biblical scholarship. You can argue whether or not he’s better at doing what we do, but he unquestionably does it with more clarity and authority. He also definitely makes fewer mistakes than we do 👀
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Christ dying for our sins would be more impressive if he didn't require an explicit opt-in from the end user, instead leaving the default at "Go to hell". Like he is God, and yet he seemingly can't create good UX.
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