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GUH

Hey @apocrypals check this tumblr ad

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st. margaret emerging from the dragon that swallowed her

in the "breviary of jost von silenen", valais, c. 1493

source: Zurich, SNM, LM 4624.2, fol. 289r

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this meme is so niche

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08/15/2025

Happy Feast of the Assumption (go to church)!

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY:

1. A bit of a history lesson this week! This story comes from quoted fragments of a lost historical text called the Euthymiac History (don't ask me how to say it). A surviving fragment tells of a meeting that unfolds very much like the cartoon, except without the pun at the end, of course. In the real story, when Bishop Juvenal tells the rulers that Mary's body is not on earth, they ask for her casket and burial clothes instead, and so he brings those to the city to be kept in a new church. I first heard about this account from Joe Heschmeyer in his 2024 video on the Assumption. His YouTube videos are always so thorough, polite, prudent, and all-around amazing.

2. In this cartoon, when asked about Mary's missing body, Bishop Juvenal says the Church considers its disappearance a mystery. This is a pun, because while the disappearance of Mary's body is a mystery (as in something difficult to understand), it's also a Mystery (as in one of the specific events we meditate on while praying the Rosary). Statistically speaking, this is hilarious.

3. At the end of the cartoon, regarding the fate of Mary's body, Bishop Juvenal quips that the Church has an "assumption." This is a pun, because while the Church assumes (as in guesses) what happened to her based on tradition and typological reasoning, the Church also has an Assumption (as in the feast dedicated to celebrating Mary being taken up into heaven, body and soul, by the power of her Son, at the end of her life). Statistically speaking, this is even MORE hilarious than the first pun.

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why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

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I just walked into the house after walking the dog and my mom says to me, in the same cheerful voice she uses to send me to go pick up the groceries, "I need you to recrucify Jesus."

Turned out one of the wall crucifixes lost a nail and the J man was getting himself off the cross but that is a hell of an instruction to come home to.

So now I gotta like... cruci fix this.

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I did not realize how much of historical Catholic insanity is based around an overwhelming fear of false converts. Like, I knew this was an issue for Spanish Catholicism at the height of its militarism and colonialism, but no it seems like an enduring aspect through the Byzantine to modern periods.

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Promulgating a new variant of the Docetist ("hologram Jesus") heresy whereby the body of Christ which his followers perceived was an illusion, but there was a smaller material body inside that illusion:

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The short answer is yes

The long answer is yes, but with additional explanation and commentary that gets me dragged into tiresome arguments with strangers who willfully misinterpret what I'm saying

I don't think the Trinity is that hard to understand or explain. o:

I usually think of it like this:

You have a friend; they have 3 jobs.

They have a job as a engineer, a cashier, and a janitor.

You wouldn't go to your friend in each job and ask "Are you the same guy I know????" - You know it's the exact same friend at each job, even though they're doing something different at each job.

Or think of it in gaming terms:

It's like someone with three different characters in a game. They switch between each character whenever needed, but you know it's the exact same person controlling each character, despite the different skills/class abilities.

Heck, even further think of someone who changes their hair color + style every day. You don't question or ask if they're the same person from when you first saw them. You know it's the same person, just different presentation.

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Unfortunately if your understanding of the Trinity is easy to understand or explain, it’s almost definitely heretical

I don't think the Trinity is that hard to understand or explain. o:

I usually think of it like this:

You have a friend; they have 3 jobs.

They have a job as a engineer, a cashier, and a janitor.

You wouldn't go to your friend in each job and ask "Are you the same guy I know????" - You know it's the exact same friend at each job, even though they're doing something different at each job.

Or think of it in gaming terms:

It's like someone with three different characters in a game. They switch between each character whenever needed, but you know it's the exact same person controlling each character, despite the different skills/class abilities.

Heck, even further think of someone who changes their hair color + style every day. You don't question or ask if they're the same person from when you first saw them. You know it's the same person, just different presentation.

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Pope Leo

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When are they going to nerf him

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They even made a movie about this particular papal bull, which is rare for church doctrine

I can get behind this eschatology

Was this done ex-cathedra?

Does this make Biscuit Catholic?

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@warrocketpodcast

@benito-cereno

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God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

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Reporting on the minigolf situation in Poland, I'm 30 years old and only met someone who played it this year. Up to this point I wasn't even aware we had minigolf courses in Poland. So the explaining digression was helpful

Thank you 🫡

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I'm starting to understand why depictions of mohammed in islam are forbidden