apoetsloft

[apoetsloft]

Ascending

I am ascending until my soul kisses the moon

until my pen finesses a Sunday sun

until I gleam as pearls in Winter 

until I am the woman my ancestors prayed for 

until I rise with God’s ambiance 

I am ascending until simple pleasures learn my name

Hot tea vibes in the metropolis 

I am ascending until the tears turn into glittered rivers 

until I rise with the butterfly’s fragrance 

I am woman….therefore my skin mimics chocolate bars

and my smile holds healing for ransom 

I can give glee and defiance at the same time 

I can hand over love without thought 

Ascending until my poetry blends with Sunday rains 

Until fear has no reason to hold me. 

-@Arisopoetic 

[apoetsloft]

Freedom’s song

Words don’t describe it 

That’s why this poetry needs it 

That’s why night has studied my wine glass

The tears akin to chronicles 

New guy reading my soul with each text 

Still it doesn’t feel right 

As if a puzzle’s missing and I have to fall into my dreams to find it 

As if in a past life I was sovereign over the tears

But no… I’m just woman

Speaking vertically with my words 

Craving a warm body similar to the ethers

Living it just enough to write it 

Searching for that same feeling of hot summers, 10 years old, Cherry ice on my tongue 

Singing freedom’s song

[apoetsloft]

I am much like the Rose

I am like the rose 

Dwelling in soil drenched by a wailing rain 

Resting on land at the will of the air 

Kissing feet that walk upon her 

Pretty in areas desirable and less desirable

Loving in humid winds 

I am like the rose 

God fearing in my bosom's dreams 

Loving art’s nature 

Settled. 

Unclouded.

Serene.

Undoing all that's impede joy

Talking while lips form into the ethers

Searching for vaults of heaven 

A vibe that can only be pictured by souls who have felt poetry’s pain

An aura of 80s bliss

Like Jazztunes during the moon’s axis 

Depleted when the art is far

Full when it is near

Allowing God to fill me up even while I hate my cup 

Sipping from luring waters in my dreams 

Thanking my ancestors for their hidden hands that have given me my strength

Loving on hot May mornings

Dancing as if rain owes me nothing 

Ig: @Aripoetic 

Name: Tynyta Ari

[apoetsloft]

Words

Looks like I’ll be posting poetry here for a few days. Here’s a poem for your Saturday...

When I write I want it to mimic the 90s

No cell phones in place of what the heart wants to say  

Nights midst muddy Philly Cheesesteaks as the air sings tunes clamorous  

Bodies dressed in black hide      hair swoops aligning with the orbits  

Words caressed by truth leaving fabrication no room to settle  

Ears sealed to the expressions of the core

Words of substance  

Making room for dim light downward the airspace  

Words of kisses joined by mocha aromas  

Words meant to settle in tier creeks to be discovered in the latter  

Then and now words facing future elegies  

Words like raindrops during Texas springs

Them “mama can I get a popsicle” words

Words that move the parts of us we tucked in our inner child’s essence  

Feels of red candied apples that stick like the sentence was meant for your art’s remedy

Words that stick to the tongue like warm butter  

Meanings of nothingness wrapped in a strawberry kiss  

Words that evoke song and dance  

Words that read calmly, freely         effortless bliss midst May showers  

Words induced backwards depictions only eyes of soul’s version expounding consequence  

Welcoming Mayhem like anxiety on a Church-Hill

Freeing self in pain’s bosom  

Words that spark unease til God’s name becomes habit  

[apoetsloft]

The thing about pain and heartbreak

It hurts. It hurts so much you don’t know how to put it in words and even if you had the words, you’d still feel like those words weren’t enough. God lets heartbreak happen to the souls who need to rebirth something. I like to break things down in ways that can be really held on to. Pain is necessary for the unique souls who have something to offer. That heartbreak was needed because that version of you no longer served you, or others. There is something great inside you. Don’t think about it in a materialistic way, think of what’s inside of you as something that can not only free others, but free you. Sometimes no matter how bad we want it, it holds us back from being that dope soul we dream about. I think of how Jhene Aiko chooses to show up in life. How fluid, honorable, and graceful. It took pain and heartbreak to get where she is.... I’m almost sure of it. You’re a wildflower, you’re a light, there is something in your soul that needs to be birthed and you couldn’t have done it with that person you were holding on to.  Sometimes heartbreak is a blessing in disguise. Now, I know it hurts. But before you crawl into a corner and question your worth, know the ones who get hurt the most have the most light and something to offer worth more than just having someone to keep them warm at night. If your soul is for everyone, you’re not rare. My love, you are rare. That heartbreak had to happen. heartbreak forms a new smile, a new way of thinking, a new way of showing up, a new you. 

[apoetsloft]

Healing Journeys... How’s yours going queen?

The healing journey is not linear. There are no rules. Releasing everything meant to break you or change who you are as a unique soul is not easy and these past few days, I’ve realized it will never be easy. During this journey of healing, practicing showing up as the woman I want to be... all hell has literally broken lose in the past few days. That’s the healing journey. While in the bathroom, one of the things Holy Spirit put on my heart is the reason why the healing journey is so hard is because the broken version of you is fighting against the healed version of you. You’re used to reacting to everything, waking up dwelling on the past, going throughout the day allowing any thought to enter your mind... the healing journey literally feels like your spirit is fighting against you because that darkness you’ve allowed to surround you for so long wants to stay. If you’re on this healing journey, give it time. Don’t try to force it, allow it to flow. Reward yourself when you stick to the healing journey and don’t shame yourself when you fall off. That’s the thing about a journey... is that it is not linear, there are no rules. Do what you can, work with God, know that God is not shaming you when you “fall off” and be sure to journal your journey as well. You got this. And remember queen, when you fall off do not shame yourself. We’re not shaming ourselves in 2022. This is your journey, and you chose this for yourself so that you can show up a better version of a friend, partner, sister, aunt, mother... do it for you so you can then be who you need to be for others. You are the main character of your life and don’t owe anyone an explanation to your healing or why you’re choosing to heal. You

[apoetsloft]

Creating space for Peace

Creating space for peace.

What is peace and how do we create space for it? This just came to me actually; I don’t think peace is something that we necessarily force. I believe peace is going with the flow, surrendering to God, and showing up daily as our best selves. Peace isn’t forced because peace and force can’t coexist as both words are opposing. However, peace is something we seek. When it seems, chaos is all you know, when it seems you find the clouds falling on your head more than the sun shining on your soul, peace should be sought after. But I believe we should search for peace in such a beautiful way where we seek it fluidly. Seek it in the way where we create a space that works for us. Seek it in such a way where it feels right to us. 

Someone may have to seek peace in journaling daily, another may seek peace in music and the vibration of music’s melodies, some may have to seek peace in nature. No matter what your idea of peace is, make sure you seek it in a way that fits you. Seek it in such a way where it fits into your unique soul like the very last piece of the puzzle. And don't compare someone’s chapter to your own. I feel that’s so important because we then begin to take our eyes off our own paper and begin to look at someone else’s. You may be in a season where God is hiding you, a season of isolation. 

Or a season where God wants you to sit while everyone else is out and about exploring the world and what it has to offer. It’s important to look within when it comes to your peace search, because looking outside of you, you may be comparing someone else’s journey to your own. They may not need what you need right now, and you may not need what they need right now. Peace is food for the soul, an acquired taste based off experience. Either way when you seek peace, make sure it feels right to you. It flows, it feels necessary for your healing journey. Accept yourself and know that God is holding your hand the whole way through.  

2 Thessalonians 3:16 Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

[apoetsloft]

Head over to aripoetic.com

I took a little hiatus from poetry which I feel as a poet, is important to sometimes let the words settle in your soul, read other poetry to get inspired, and play with new words. But this one????? I’ll be posting on aripoetic.com soon 

It seems we heed calm when we know we can access it

it sits on the shelf  

serene as tired birds in June winds

we don’t pray for it long as its in our reach  

sweat and blood only begins to seep when Faith actually has to be used

when our stomachs begin to spell words unrevealed from hunger

when the rent is due  

[apoetsloft]

Modes of mania

Mania. When you feel manic, when you can’t hold those creative ideas in, is it best to act on those feelings and create it anyway? You know those moments where everything seems to be inspiring you and creating is the only thing sitting on your heart. They say to wait to create... wait until you’ve experienced just a little more pain. Wait until you’ve learned what pleasure really means.  

Wait until it truly settles in your soul enough to talk about it. Is mania a bad thing? Afterall, they pretty much say mania is acting upon fickle feelings. Like a sugar high gone untreated. When I’m manic, I can’t say that I hate it. I can’t say feeling a sense of soaring on clouds is any better than feeling like the world is crashing down around me. I’d much rather be manic than putting my art over to the wayside to sit when the world needs what I have to offer. The world needs what you have to offer too. Therefore, if you so happen to produce the art the world needs in a manic state, so be it right? What are your thoughts?

Email apoesloft1@gmail.com  

[apoetsloft]

The right time doesn’t exist

That’s the thing about writing, you must sometimes do it when you don’t feel like it. Not letting your emotions dictate how you choose to show up. Creating a space for your art to breathe while your soul catches up. Do you think forcing yourself to create prematurely births the art? Or as an artist, do you always have to wait until you feel it? So, what if you never feel it? What if the sun never truly sets on your skin the right way, your coffee never tastes like confetti and your heart feels warm.

        Do you wait? What if you never feel as beautiful as the art in your mind? What’s waiting to do it when pain seems but a few feet away waiting to cease what we long to create from the heart. Truth is, we’ll probably never feel it. We’ll probably never be ready. We’ll probably never know exactly how it feels to be whole, at least no time soon so we may as well make a choice to do the art now. Put the art out into the atmosphere even with a sad heart and an aching soul. The pain is what makes the art raw... beautiful. The pain is what made you want to create in the first place. So, truth is, you’ll probably never really want to do it. You’ll probably never really want to write it, paint it.... the right time seems far and almost nonexistent.  

[apoetsloft]

Letting go

Letting go and becoming like a child again. A child who knows no pain or betrayal... a child who see’s beauty in the world, spotting the sun’s light clearly as it dances with the clouds. We are told to forgive for ourselves because when we hold on, we pollute everything inside us meant to glow. Let go for yourself. Let go for those coming behind you. Let go for the legacy you aim to leave. Let go for God. No matter how much it hurts, I hope we all choose to let go, forgive, and heal. We have a life to live and souls to touch.  

#writers #healing #healed #selflove #strong #poets 

[apoetsloft]

You got this

Sometimes staying alive is your biggest accomplishment and if that’s you, I’m proud of you. Sometimes you have so many things going through your head that cut so deep, you don’t know how to verbalize them. That pain that cuts so deeply you question if God is even there. (He is) I get it. I just want to let you know I’m proud of you. You get up, make that tea or coffee, go to that job or class, and you cease the day even when your mind isn’t being your best friend.

 Mental health is so important and even more important in the black community, and I just want to let you know I'm proud of you for fighting another day to stay here even when your soul doesn’t want to. God is holding our hands on your own personal journey and our journeys don’t need to be explained to anyone, especially those committed to misunderstanding us. Granted, we could be better stewards over money, react to things differently and really commit to do the healing work. But if you did none of that this week, I’m proud of you for trying to stay here. That’s big for us who struggle daily with our minds trying to tussle with us. I am proud of you. We are beautiful. We are beautiful in our own ways and our fight is what makes us beautiful. Do not beat yourself up. You are trying the best you can. Beating yourself up isn’t for you. Healing, growing, trying, releasing... that’s for you. Loving on the parts of you that you absolutely love and learning to accept the parts of you that you don’t, that’s for you. If you did nothing but fight to live this week, I am proud of you. Take those steps, write those plans, call that therapist though... do it in the doses that resonate with your spirit. You got this.  

[apoetsloft]

Content creators and inspiration

I recently watched something that intrigued and inspired me. What’s such a blessing about content creators is that a lot of creators are so deeply in their element that they speak to you creatively in a way where you know they followed God’s calling. They followed their heart and allowed fear to follow and not lead.(sometimes when it doesn’t leave you, you just have to invite it to brunch. just make sure it stays behind you) The video started out with affirmations and these affirmations weren’t forced, these affirmations came from the heart as my heart began to try my best to resonate with the words. The words were the most poetic words I’ve heard in a while.  

Smooth. Beautiful.

These words had to be from a soul who has learned to not only heal, but to make a conscious choice to heal in a such a way where they are freely and fluidly showing up in a way where their aura is not only an inspiration, but a lesson. A lesson that healing is possible and dwelling in who we are without force or shame is possible. Her healing process seemed peaceful, not violent. Accepting. The healing process starts with accepting. Accepting what was, and what is. I didn’t want much today but to allow this to be a space where you are also grateful for other creators who inspire you while you’re on your own creative journey.  

If you have feedback on this post, feel free to email Apoetsloft1@gmail.com  

[apoetsloft]

How do you want to show up? (A calm soul)

A calm soul leads to a calm mind. A calm mind leads to a calm heart and then leads you to figuring out how you want to show up in the world. Have you ever wondered how you’d like to show up in this world? Show up in such a way that you speak to not only minds, but spirits. Show up in such a way that you start leaving the marks you aim to leave when you finally thought of how you’d like to show up. Does a calm soul then lead to how you’d like to show up as the true authentic version of you? Not the you that you were taught to be, the you that challenges all of the things you realize your upbringing instilled within you simply because it was the thing to do. Those things you now challenge because you’ve realized your mind is freely yours to use how you so choose.

Showing up for family and friends in such a way that you lay your head down at night knowing you chose to help mend a heart more than break one. A calm soul. How do we lead our souls to calm when there’s so many other opinions at our disposal challenging who we’d like to show up as. One twitter click, and we gradually begin to realize our thoughts are not ours, which leads to our ways being drowned out by the opinions of social media.  I’ve been on this healing journey, trying to drown out the pain enough to hear my inner self, enough to decide who I’d like to show up as, and the reason behind it. However, I think the pain sometimes lingers to slowly push out the polluted versions of ourselves like a wine press.  

I like how women in the 90s showed up. Free flowing, not forced. 90s women in their 20s and 30s intrigue me simply because they weren’t performing for an audience which forced them to pull out every part of them heeding authenticity. Now, we tend to be who we want to be, when we want to be for a social media audience. If I could define the aura of most 90s women it would be fluid, free flowing, sort of like a Rose Perfume in spring, or a love poem. How would you like to show up in this world? Do you simply show up, or strategize how you’d like to show up? And if so, do you then feel strategizing how you choose to show up is a form of manipulation?  Would you like to show up more loving, understanding, caring, artsy, sexual. (And if you show up more sexual, is it more or less enclosed or out in the open? That’s a post for another time)

If you’d like to answer this post or any of my previous posts... I love feedback. Send to Apoetsloft1@gmail.com  

[apoetsloft]

All pretty girls listen to Summer Walker

You try not to fall so you begin to do everything you can to become the girl of your dreams. Sitting here with thoughts of writing on my mind realizing all pretty girls listen to Summer Walker. It’s easy to drown out the mess when you have it all, harder to drown out the mess when you have no choice but to work with what was given. 

All pretty girls listen to Summer Walker, choose their own aesthetic, invite change without much fight. On the days she doesn’t feel pretty she writes, reads, vibes to music that feeds her soul what it craves... Shes able to love like love doesn't owe her, but only seems to encounter broken hearts disguised as healed ones. Shes a vibe... even though that term is played out like an 8 track. There’s a little bit of 90s girl in her. She dresses how she chooses, says what she wants even when her words are fleeing. Shes a vibrant pretty... sometimes her pretty is somber but always alluring.... the type of pretty you indulge in. The kind of eyes you get lost in. All pretty girls listen to Summer Walker, make love like her body heeds poetry. Shes an addiction even if no one is really addicted. The trees need her breeze as she walks past. The Universe wouldn’t turn the same without her aura. She’s an idea to those who don’t know how to fully embrace her, she holds pains hand when it won’t seem to leave her.  

[apoetsloft]

Scattered thoughts

I’ll start unraveling it. Casting it aside like a finished bottle of carbonized iced coffee. Unraveling it when it took me more than my adhd could manage to keep together like golden trinkets in a Beverly Hill’s mansion. Sometimes my aura is Beverly Hills actually. Other times its so dark the conversation about it would heed more than Cabernet, more like dark liquor. The type of liquor our grandpas sipped on Sunday stoops. Trying to become the same woman older women despise because it threatens what they’ve thought they lost.  It’s the toxicity we ignore with pretty smiles on the internet while our hearts are screaming for us to be real with it.  You’re on my loft.. So why not hear my truth. Let's unwind... where do you have to go? You're already here. Here heeding a 30 something black woman’s thoughts...born the same place Janet Jackson was raised. Literally NO ONE knows that. They're too busy thinking I’m too pretty to utter a sentence or just pretty enough to feed what their flesh craves.  

Oh baby, they’re scared of it. Your art. Because your art tells your truth. No matter how bright, dark, grunge, perfect or imperfect... your art scares those who are scared to even grab a paintbrush that’s why you feel the urgency as you aim to create it. It's those dark souls and their energies trying to stop your story from forming. It’s the same voice inside you that you think is yours, but actually isn’t. It just sounds like yours. The same voice telling you not to do it is that same voice telling friends how bad you crave it. So do it. You’re on my loft. So why not hear my truth? Even if its scattered like daisies after a hurricane even if it starts to make more sense after a couple drinks. Some want you small so they feel big, others are waiting for you to grow so they can become inspired.  

#writers #writing #poets #blackwriters #poetsonline #lovepoems 

[apoetsloft]

As music and mania blends.

What do you do while the music plays? Do you plan? Do you just sit and let the words and melodies serenade you? What do you do when you have ideas? Do you deem them as manic and simply let them pass, or do you act on them? Are you an artist? I know personally as an artist I question those moments when I’m so manic I begin to almost become the art... blend into it. So manic that I know deep down the feeling won’t last so I grasp every part of my soul trying to create as if an hourglass is at my feet. 

While music is playing, I’m writing, and I try my best to get inspired by the music. The beat, the tune, what's being said even if what’s being said reminds me of what I so eagerly try to forget. Love. If you think about it, 80 percent of songs are about love. How she wants him back, what he can fervently do for her. Sneaky links mixed in with a subtle hint of whiskey.  Songs are mostly love variegated with a hint of what poison of choice is kindred to the moment. So, what do you do while the music plays? Clean? Sip? Whatever you do while the music plays, I hope that “thing” gets you so grasped into the moment you forget every single thing that makes a demand on who you truly are. You know, the bills... the trauma. I hope while you listen to that song you become manic, even if it’s for a healthy moment. (Although nothing about mania seems healthy so they say) I hope you begin to create what you put to the wayside, or the mania causes you to finally face what you work so hard to ignore or drown out with that same melody you clean to, or write to, or work to.   Whatever you do while the music plays, I hope it frees you like a calm Autumn Day in Paris,

or a forehead kiss.