apollosdrunkenmixup

[apollosdrunkenmixup]

Why is this heat so hot 😩

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Today I saw a pic of a baby cowbird next 2 its nest "parent" and it was so much bigger!!!!! Which is the sort of thing that gets normal people upset about the injustice of nest parasitism but makes *me* worry if baby cowbirds get bird dysmorphia

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hold on something just happened

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I am really enjoying reading about the University of Wisconsin chancellor fired after the university discovered all the pornos he and his wife were making.

Generally when someone has a public sex scandal (or “scandal”) you get the standard “I am sorry. I regret it. It was a misjudgment on my part” but this guy is like “fuck you I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t violate conflict of interest clauses, you are violating my first amendment rights”

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the fact that you can press b to cancel a pokemons evolution is so funny to me. like imagine a butterfly about to emerge from a chrysalis and you just put your hand on it like ‘shhh. buddy. not yet’ and its like ‘aww ok’ n climbs back in and zips itself up like a sleeping bag 

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the fact that pro-monarchy arguments have degenerated, over the past few centuries, from “the king rules by divine right and is accountable to nobody but god”, to “uhm the royals generate a lot of income from tourism” will never stop being extremely funny to me

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Guys, the liquid stuff you use when you make a pen mistake so you have to cover it over, what’s it called?

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Source

"Isn't it exhausting being someone you're not?"

"No! Isn't it exhausting being the same?"

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Scripps News footage shows a crowd of people, some of them in wheelchairs, being zip-tied and escorted out of the Russell Senate Rotunda.

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I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

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sorry i was researching the author of a victorian book about raising children and now i'm fascinated by her. clear my schedule we're talking about lydia maria child.

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The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.