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part of me is like “what the fuck do you mean next week is august when last week was mid april” but then the other part of me is like “approximately 7 years have passed since december 2019 and july 2020″ so that’s fun

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i get heated when people feel the need to go out of their way to tell me astrology/tarot etc are fake. yes i know. here’s a concept though.. literally everything in the world is fake. Everything. Things only work because you believe in them. Money? fake. The government? Fake. businesses? fake! your name? fake! nothing is real except life and death so let me have fun with my Magic Cards™

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My school is not opening this year. We don't know if we'll ever be able to open again. This was my favorite job ive ever had. I am so heartbroken.

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God I fucking hate PETA

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I am constantly telling customers "No i dont have that, you'll have to go to a vet" and "no i don't know about that, youll have to ask your vet" and boy do they hate me for it

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zoologist: This species plays a vital role in its ecosystem and it won’t hurt you unless you provoke it.

some of you lot: Yeah, but I don’t personally like them so they should all die, sorry.

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meirl

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the people who make lyric videos on youtube are the backbone of this nation

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harold insists on running impossibly close to his brother 

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Here is a list of ball python morphs with issues

Spider, Wobble Woma, Wobble Hidden Gene Woma, Wobble Champagne, Wobble Super Sable, Wobble Powerball, Wobble Sable x Spider, Difficult to hatch, severe wobble Champagne x Hidden Gene Woma, Severe wobble Champagne x Spider, Lethal Pearl, Normally Lethal Super Champagne, Lethal Super Spider, Lethal Desert(not to be confused with desert ghost), Female fertility issues Caramel Albino, Kinking and female sub-fertility Super Cinnamon/Super Black Pastel, Duckbill & rare kinking Super Lesser Platinum/Super Butter(not applied to super mojaves or lesser/mojaves), Bug eyes Lesser Platinum x Piedbald, Small Eyes Morphs that for some reason people confuse for morphs with issues, but DONT actually have issues. (I.E. the morphs listed below are often said to have issues by newer keepers because they are easily confused with problem morphs. They do not have any issues) Pinstripe (Gets confused with spider) Bamboo (Gets confused with woma/spider etc) Enchi (Gets confused with woma or spider) Lesser/mojave BEL (Gets confused with super lessers) Hypo (any strain) (Gets confused with caramel albino?) Super stripe (Not even sure what this one gets confused with honestly) G-stripe (Same with this, no idea)

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"Henlo, welcome to my house"

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HAHAHAHAHA