applbottmjeens

[applbottmjeens]

Hi everyone.

I'm finding it hard to make any sort of positive art for COD or make any content, especially as politics begin to effect my life. The American government and it's blatant erasure and demonization of people like me, trans and autistic, the continued genocide of Palestinian lives and the recession and active prison camps in El Salvador have soured my fascination for a story driven game that is undoubtedly propaganda.

I love the characters I've made, the people I've met, the fandom...But I can't pretend I'm okay with this when real life war is happening and media like this only perpetuates my inability to continue.

Am I leaving the COD fandom? I think I am.

Am I going to stop making art? I'm not sure.

Will this be the last of me? I don't know either.

To the friends I've had the honor of making, you know where to find me.

But I think the ABJ tumblr is going to go dormant for the time being. Any art I make will be shared to friends and the friends are free to share it if they want.

It's been real. Love you guys.

-

Rei (Appl Bottom Jeens :3)

[applbottmjeens]

"women are always like—"

"men are always like—"

shut up shut up shut up shut up shutupshutupshutupsHUT UP 🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄 gender essentialism-hating herd of cows running you over

[applbottmjeens]

EMERGENCY COMMISSION UPDATE:

It's been mostly resolved/fixed! Thank you to all who asked for commissions and all who sent their well wishes.

[applbottmjeens]

EMERGENCY COMMISSION UPDATE:

It's been mostly resolved/fixed! Thank you to all who asked for commissions and all who sent their well wishes.

[applbottmjeens]

EMERGENCY COMMISSION

A small kitchen accident caused a bit of a fire and burned some food and part of our pull in pantry, I'll be willing to draw anything for as little as $10 if it means I can restock what we lost in the pantry.

Usual prices are HALVED.

[applbottmjeens]

I wrote a whole fanfiction and alternative reality about MCU black widows solely for gay and i still have yet to finish it :[

[applbottmjeens]

"I'm gonna make art soon!"

-me before the depression hits

[applbottmjeens]

god keep ur fucking kink meme shit out of ao3 tag y'all make this fandom even more insufferable than it already is and thats saying something!!! The kind of shit y'all post require a fucking trigger warning it doesnt belong in a safe space

[applbottmjeens]

[applbottmjeens]

New Secret Knots comic: "Cryptid".

[applbottmjeens]

the ai’s aversion to producing anything that’s not aesthetically pleasing dentist office artwork leaves it unable to comprehend true beauty

[applbottmjeens]

Wife who calls to tell her husband she was just in a fight and husband who immediately asks if the other person was OK because he knows his wife can fold the average person like a lawn chair in two seconds flat

[applbottmjeens]

[applbottmjeens]

my friend just told me that there's a secret second dashboard that solely contains posts from people you've turned on post notifications for, and when i click the link in the messages it opens it within the tumblr app, so the tumblr app also has a secret second dashboard for post notification blogs, and the only way to access it is to open the link for it within the app.

i literally love tumblr

[applbottmjeens]

*walks onto your blog as a special guest*

[studio audience applause]

[applbottmjeens]

You know when

[applbottmjeens]

Good Heart and Desire to Please

OC x OC (Annabelle Pham x @alypinks Karlos Martinez)

tags: anna and graves get into a fight, INFIDELITY BEGINS, manipulation is afoot everywhere and anna is an idiot, mentions and implications of sex but nothing is ever explicit.

𝔚𝔥𝔢𝔫 ℑ'𝔪 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔶𝔬𝔲...

ℑ 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔶𝔬𝔲...

Phillip and Anna weren't in love in the traditional sense. Karlos knew that much.

Maybe she loved him before. But what they had now was akin to two people using eachother for their own desires. Wasn't that close enough?

He got a trophy and a tool. She got a trust fund for her son and a job with benefits she couldn't turn down. That was the American dream for you.

Graves took pride in bringing her down. Making her small. That fragile, easy to explode western masculinity swelled in his chest when she complied with his orders, fragile like a grenade.

He almost forgot bombs were her goddamn specialty.

He was so blind to the bomb swelling up in her chest as he shoved her son in the arms of a nanny and reminded her of their agreement. She worked for him, and Tommy would never have to grow up worrying about money like she did.

It was nearing Tommy's birthday the day the bomb blew up. She didn't wanna do another mission till her son was at least double digits.

Phillip promised this would be her last time. And the next. He was growing so fast and she was missing so much.

And she snapped and was so close to biting the hand that fed her. One more. He said.

No more she begged. And why oh why did Karlos Martinez have to get caught in the middle?

This was an argument not as Commanders or as coworkers or as people in the same unit. This was an argument between Phillip and Anna- who was his lover. And who else to bear witness to the drama than Phillip’s go to guy, his best friend and rebound once (when Anna thought he was dead.)

“Annie don't you dare walk away from me! You're actin’ like a goddamn child!” He walks after her storming out of his office, Karlos just about to head out to take his smoke break when he saw the two yelling at one another.

“Oh like that doesn't get you off!” She growls. Phillip's mouth is agape as Karlos tries not to burst into laughter. That was far, and he stops following her out of sheer surprise.

“Don't be fuckin’ ungrateful, Annabelle I made you!-”

The door slams and Phillip shares a look with Graves. Damn it Anna… The two men make eye contact, a nonverbal plea in Phillip’s gaze.

“...I’ll go get her.” Karlos murmurs.

“Appreciate it brother.” Graves says, watching his best friend run after his second in command. Karlos takes the stairs instead of the elevator, cutting off Anna succesfully when the doors open.

He forgets who she is for a moment and tries to placate her. “Hey, you know Phillip…he is- he's like this when he's stressed. He doesn't mean-”

“I don't care if he means it or not, we had an agreement and he didn't listen to me!”

He sighs and looks at her, hair pulled and eyes darting upwards like she's looking to God for the reason she agreed to be engaged with a man like Phillip Marshall Graves. Okay. No calming her down like this. Not when she's surrounded by work, work, and more work.

“...You want to get Denny's?” He asks tentatively. “It's open. And they let me smoke.”

“I'm not fucking hungry.”

“I don't care if you're hungry. You're cooped up in here, and you're going insane. If he's too caught up to realize that…At least get out of here. For me. C'mon. Vamos.” He nudges her arm, hears the ticking time bomb of her heart slow before she sighs and groans into her palms.

He chuckles as her anger stops for a moment. “I'm not the worst company, Annabelle Pham.” The tall man reminds her.

“Your sister would beg to differ.”

“My sister simply knows me well. And so could you.” His eyes darted to fidgeting hands. “I'm just as good at conversation as I am at one night stands.”

And maybe she's desperate or she believes him. But the drive to Denny's was short as it was quiet.

At this hour it's only one group of teenagers and two other people as customers. The waitress is a tired older woman who puts Karlos in a corner where he immediately takes to smoking.

“...So you come to Denny's just to smoke?”

“I come to Denny's for the cheap food and to smoke.”

They order their food. Coffee, black. And an All American Slam.

Anna gets the cheapest meal despite her salary.

He asks her why they fought this time. Her abrasiveness melts.

“I just want to go home. To Tommy.” Anna mutters.

“Your son?” He clarifies. She nods, looking at the lock screen of her phone, of a baby boy with big brown eyes that make his stomach churn. That boy looks like his father, with the same eyes as well. He tries not to remember the despair in Peter Choi's eyes when he told him to never contact Anna again.

“He's cute.” Karlos says plainly, handing her the phone back.

“...Phillip promised this would be my last gig. Tommy's turning two soon. I can't raise my kid on and off- I need to be there for him.” She looks so tired.

“Didn't peg you for someone who'd wanna be a….Give me a second.” He snaps his fingers, trying to remember the word. “A housewife.” He says, lighting his cigarette.

“I mean, I always wanted to settle and be a mom eventually. Just…Not like this.” She confesses. Not without the man she loved. Not so young. Not grieving and unmarried and cut off from her friends. “Not with it being held over my head like this.” Not with a man like Phillip Graves. The man she wanted to start a life with was all the way back in Busan, unreachable. That was her luck, she supposed.

Karlos has a look in his eyes that is barely sympathetic as his food comes in.

She's a pawn on the board, waiting to turn into a queen. And mierda santa she is tough and smart but so goddamn oblivious. There's a pattern she isn't seeing, and maybe it's the fact Alyssa told him to keep an eye on her or whatever, but he knows he needs her to see how much power she could really hold. If she just stopped having such a puppy dog mindset and see herself as more.

He looks up from his pancakes. “...What if I told you, you have the authority to change things?”

She scoffs. “I'd tell you I don't have any real power.”

“You're 2nd Commander now, Staff Sergeant Pham. You could drop that title if you wanted.” He points out.

“My job is to do his paperwork when he's out on the field and go out on the field when he's doing paperwork.” She says bluntly. “Commander my ass-”

“A commander nonetheless.” He points out. He can't convince her when her emotions are rock bottom. When her one track mind is thinking of her kid. “...Anna, I'll talk to him. Okay?” Her eyes focus on him and he knows he's saying the right thing. “I can't make any promises, but-”

She gets up and hugs him. Face buried into his shoulder as she sighs, her breathing shuddering. “...Thank you.”

He hadn't even done a thing yet. He thinks. But maybe this was what she needed- someone in her corner. An ally when she'd only recently woken up and realized what kind of monster she'd pledged her allegiance to.

“...No problem.” He says before she pulls away, wiping her tears. “Come on. The night is still young and you haven't finished your pancakes.” He points this out and she giggles through the tears. A warmth bubbles up in him that hadn't been sparked in ages. She sits back down and gently cuts her food as if she's going to share it with a toddler- a habit she couldn't undo.

“...Okay Karlos, maybe you don't completely suck ass.” She mutters.

“Maybe I’m on your way to be your favorite Martinez?”

“Don't push it.”

The morning comes and she realizes she didn't go back to the hotel with Phillip.

“Relax.” He says, voice soft as he sits up, the smell of cigarettes wafting inside as he gets off the balcony and steps back inside. “I told him you were staying somewhere else and needed to cool off.”

“...I don't know if I want to even look at him.” She mutters as Karlos pulls her into his embrace. She doesn't remember the last time someone has looked at her body like this. Not even Phillip. She reluctantly let him kiss her forehead, a small smile ghosting her lips.

“He's your key to stability. You don't have to love him.” He muses, a hand resting on her lower back as she refuses to close her eyes. “...You just have to give him reason to stay.”

“...Any ideas?” Anna glances up at him and he chuckles, pressing a hand to her cheek.

“...Baby steps. First we get you back home to your son. Convince him of those old fashioned family values he likes so much.”

She seems content with step one. He tells himself this is all a part of the plan. Phillip's his best friend, he is. But this private company was under the radar for the CIA for a long time. And what was their job, if not to incite coups?

-

A/N: hOOOoooO baby, this was my attempt to expand on a ship that was lowkey a lil bit of a joke, but now CANON and in the AU I'm writing. Is it love? is it job? Who knows! (Karlos does...)