aprilelizabethtowery-blog

[aprilelizabethtowery-blog]

[aprilelizabethtowery-blog]

[aprilelizabethtowery-blog]

[aprilelizabethtowery-blog]

Award Show Mayhem

I’m glad Matthew McConaughey won the Academy Award in 2014, and not just because I’m fiercely loyal to All Things Texas. Why is McConaughey so likeable? Some would say it’s because he’s good looking, but that’s really not it. Leonardo DiCaprio is also good looking, and he comes across as kind of a pompous douchebag. In McConaughey’s acceptance speech, he mentioned that his late father was probably having a pot of gumbo and a Miller Lite in Heaven. I do not think those words appeared on an index card in Leo’s Prada suit.

Recently I had the privilege of watching the Country Music Television awards with my mom. We made some important determinations, like that Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman really do love each other and Cassadee Pope needs a wardrobe consultant. But the conversation went awry when I noted that the members of Florida Georgia Line are tools. "Tools?" my mom asked. "Yes, you know, they wear leather vests with no shirt and lots of tank tops are involved. They’re like the Creed of country music." "Huh. So tool is a bad thing?" "Yes." Ya learn something every day.

I realize I'm not exactly a fashionista, despite the running debate among me and my nieces about who has earned the title "Queen of Fashion." I have been known to purchase clothes at Target and The Salvation Army. However ... I do not have a net worth of $12 million and I do not earn $150,000 for each episode of the HBO show "Girls." Lena Dunham can afford to buy a nice, figure-flattering gown. And if she can't do that, she can surely afford to put a less surly expression on her face. She looks like she's trying to not look her best, which is weird. I get if she thinks the dress is artsy (it's hideous) or if she thinks female arm tats are cool (not a fan) or if she thinks the platinum hair color makes her look like Gwen Stefani (she ain't no hollaback girl). But I don't get slumping over like a hobbit and making a face that looks like someone might find out she just ate the last bag of Chee-tos. Good luck on your next red carpet, girl.

The 2017 Oscar ceremony was a little boring. We braced ourselves for the Trump jokes and the awkward glances when Casey Affleck inevitably accepted his trophy despite being an accused sexual harasser. I say we revert to the days of Bjork’s swan dress, J.Lo’s plunging neckline, outrageous musical numbers, outrageous musical numbers and Michael Jackson’s hair catching fire. Problem is, none of those epic moments were the Oscars. The Oscars have always been boring. Time to step up your game, Academy.