aquaticfreakshow-sys

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

Hospital put me on a temporary liquid diet, fun

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

babygirl I'm bothered by noises you wouldn't even hear

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

not to be rude but some of y'all need to look on the bright side sometimes. like, yeah sure the world is fucked and people suck and we all die whatever, sure, but like. go outside.

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

i'm such an apologyhead...like i'm really sorry btw

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

Morning chat, I’ve got therapy today and I am incredibly nervous about that

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

it’s completely acceptable to stay alive for tiny reasons. because you want to hear your favorite song one more time. because your dog will miss you if you leave. because the moon is just too pretty to never see again. because you haven’t seen the next season of a really good tv show. because you want to see the christmas lights this year. if you’re alive, you’re doing enough. if you’re surviving, i’m proud of you.

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

Man apparently getting 8 vials of blood drawn when you weigh only 83 pounds fucks you up for a while

My arm is mega bruised and it's functioning is super limited, plus I was Severely dizzy and weak all day yesterday. The brain fog was intense, I could barely speak and think.

I'm still not completely alright but hey, at least I'm on the road to figuring things out :3

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

Well, got the bloodwork done!! They took eight vials of blood and I got so fuckin dizzy and disoriented after that I was laying there with a fan on me and everything 😭😭

That poor nurse got so nervous I was gonna faint oh my god I felt so bad

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

Second day at the doctor today, then I've gotta go back on the eighth or something for therapy - also getting a referral for a psychiatrist which is neat !!

Yesterday I got an EKG done and now they're sending me to a cardiologist, also got a breast exam done again and i'm being sent for more ultrasounds for that. Also getting an ultrasound done on my uterus because of my irregular and extremely painful cycles.

Getting more x-rays done on my spine for the spina bifida, however I'm being sent to a different place this time.

They did an iron test, too. Which hurt?? So bad???

And today I'm getting blood work done, which I'm not excited about at fucking all because of my needle phobia but hey, gotta get that done so.. doing it scared!!

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

Man what the hell are you even talking about

Like, first of all - "theif"?? The fuck is that about? The only thing coming to mind is that time we stole from Hot Topic LMFAO like bro the fuck do you mean here??

Also PLEASE if you're gonna send me anon hate, at least try getting creative with it!! This is boring, dude. Death threats and fakeclaims are overused, vague threats too. You're like.. giving the most basic ass energy here it's really sad.

But yeah anyway, hope you enjoy "the show"!! Try a little harder to contribute next time! 💚

I'm gonna get back to fucking your dad now, I'd say dinner is in the fridge for you but it's time you start to contribute around the house some yeah? Go tidy your room or something

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

Well, my mom skipped her morning meds so - wasn't able to see a doctor for anything because she wasn't able to move very well and I'd need her with me.

She just told me to keep an eye on the pain, which is mostly better now. Nobody will take me if it hasn't gotten worse, and there's no way for me to go alone :/

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

As a wheelchair user I'm trying to reframe my language for "being in the way."

"I'm in the way," "I can't fit," and "I can't go there," is becoming "there's not enough space," "the walkway is too narrow," and "that place isn't accessible."

It's a small change, but to me it feels as if I'm redirecting blame from myself to the people that made these places inaccessible in the first place. I don't want people to just think that they're helping me, I want them to think that they're making up for someone else's wrongdoing. I want them to remember every time I've needed help as something someone else caused.

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

Might end up in the hospital for an unidentified medical issue and extreme pain :(

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

Plurality is fun because sometimes you have parts that would get you immediately destroyed on social media, but people irl literally don't fucking care because they're Normal People and not weirdos on the internet obsessed with assumed morality and/or purity rather than being kind understanding humans.

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

Terrified in the happy way. Overwhelmed with sympathy and the urge to show compassion. I understand, they understand.

Something about this makes recovery seem possible.