arcadestarfish

[arcadestarfish]

also like…love my friends and love hanging out with them and all but i totally understand the bitches that hang out with their bfs all the time now because friends just don’t treat you the same. like friendship love is awesome but it’s never as fulfilling as romantic love. maybe that’s because i’ve never really had a friend that prioritized me as much as i did them. like i’ve never had a friend that would choose me over anyone else. so now that i have a (good) bf i’d much rather hang out with him because i know i’m gonna get undivided attention and affection from him that i’d be silly to ever think would happen with any of my friends. idk. makes me feel like shit because idk why no “friend” of mine has ever cared about me as much as i would them. because i totally would, at the drop of a hat, make them a priority in my life, but i know the favor would never be returned.

so anyway, i’m a girls-who-are-obsessed-with-their-bfs defender because like…i get it 100%.

[arcadestarfish]

look my parents just really didn’t love me right as a child so now i just want to be with my bf all the time because i get consistent love and attention from him and i’m not used to it so i’m lowkey obsessed😔

[arcadestarfish]

lowkey just came here to ask the void is it normal to just want to hang out with my bf all the time or am i just a jobless loser lmao

[arcadestarfish]

hey i’m back (my life got exponentially worse for a month) laugh out loud

[arcadestarfish]

ok but seriously i talked about how after being single for what seems like my whole life i actually feel complete in some way now because i have a bf. but at the same time i don’t necessarily *feel* like i’m in a relationship. like it still hasn’t set in yet that i’m not single anymore and i have someone around that is really important and i can go to for anything? if that makes sense, idk. maybe in all my past relationships i just lost my sense of self because they were really toxic (teehee!) so now that i’m in my first healthy relationship i don’t feel the need to meld myself with him or become someone i’m not just so i can have his approval. i should become a therapist lowkey.

[arcadestarfish]

if i could i literally would kidnap him and just hang out with him 24/7❤️

[arcadestarfish]

post of the day: i love my bf

[arcadestarfish]

timeline of today:

- 3:30 woke up with an excruciating earache and shitting my pants bc i could have an ear infection

- 8:30 actually wake up and somehow managed to go to my first class

-10:30 skip my second class and instead schedule an appt at the ent

- 11:30 decide to do my two week old laundry and shit my pants again bc the laundromat gives me anxiety

- 2:00 go to the ent, wait for an hour and half, talk to the doctor for 5 min and then leave with no answers

- 3:30 quickly fold my laundry and eat dinner because i have to tour an apartment at 4:30

- 4:30 tour the apartment but it’s really anxiety inducing because i lowkey have social anxiety

- 5:00 go to library because i have a quiz and test tomorrow but i can’t focus because i am burnt out already this semester

it’s 7:30 and i have one more thing to do we’ll see how long i stay in the lib

[arcadestarfish]

once again logging on to say i’m obsessed with my boyfriend

[arcadestarfish]

gnawing at the bars of my enclosure because i need houseofpsychoticwoman on spotify righT noW

[arcadestarfish]

i just feel very protective because her songs are experimental and not everyone will get it and i think that’s the point. if anyone were to tell me her songs are trash or fucked up i might burst into flames.

i love ethel cain so much and i know being a gatekeeper is trashy but i literally get so mad when people i know listen to her but they only listen to american teenager and ahin like you don’t even know her like i do bitch!

[arcadestarfish]

i love ethel cain so much and i know being a gatekeeper is trashy but i literally get so mad when people i know listen to her but they only listen to american teenager and ahin like you don’t even know her like i do bitch!

[arcadestarfish]

telling my bf if he ever makes me feel like an ethel cain song he has 7 days

[arcadestarfish]

i’m obsessed with my bf ✊😔🧎‍♀️

[arcadestarfish]

need this semester to end

[arcadestarfish]

i wish i belonged

[arcadestarfish]

seething with rage today