archived-seo

[archived-seo]

after hours.

ft. @idxdaehyun; after show, poolside.

it’s a routine for seokyung at this point. he came, he saw, he rehearsed, he performed, that was it. he was done, he had nothing left to do but sleep and wait until it was time to go back home. admittedly, it was pretty sad. mostly because for once? he wasn’t all-too-bothered to be here, he had been in a particular pretty good mood, and that’s something considering the kind of person kyo seokyung is. but after the show, he couldn’t help but see everyone hanging out, some people switching hotels, some people going out, some even attending the late night party going on in the hotel lobby. but not seokyung. 

no, seokyung wanted to go to bed and just wait, what else could he even do? he hadn’t seen any of his friends around, which was a bummer. hanging out with the olympus boys was completely out of question because he preferred getting hit by a bus than spending another second with any of them. so he’s on his way to the elevator when he hears a group of young girls address him. he’s not familiar with any of them and he lets them see that when his attitude is nothing but serious and almost taciturn; they’re all trainees and they stand there and they praise him and tell him how good he did today. he nods and he says ‘i know’, because he does. he always does good, anyway. 

he looks up and realizes there’s plenty of people hanging out poolside and he’s not really too interested in any of them but a particular young guy he met a couple of months ago. he excuses himself (not so rudely for once) and heads out. he met yoo daehyun at a party not too long ago, and it was ironic because seokyung was always the first one to hate the fact trainees were also invited to those. however, after striking conversation with daehyun, he realized there was something different about him compared to the rest of the overly-excited or overly-annoying hopefuls that were looking to make a name for themselves. 

daehyun was certainly different and seokyung thought that was a pretty great trait to have, if he could call it that. so he approaches him from behind, places an arm around his shoulder and notices he has a drink in his hand. he has no idea if there’s alcohol or not in it, but seokyung still takes it from his hand and raises an eyebrow, “there better not be any alcohol in this?” he’s trying to joke with him, obviously holding to the fact he’s young and for all he knows, just barely legal. but he obviously doesn’t care if he is or if he isn’t drinking alcohol. chuckling, he gives him back his drink and pats his shoulder, “hey, you did good tonight, by the way. figured i’d let you know but i didn’t see you when the show ended so, i wanted to tell you now before i head to bed.”

[archived-seo]

zhangid‌:

the thing about olympus is that they don’t need to talk to each other to make things work, they do it because they love to get on each other’s nerves, so of course now won’t be different. luke smiles as walks next to seokyung, who, to luke, on a list of hate to indifference ranks quite high on the later. “hey old man, how are you holding up?” he asks, fake sweetness on his voice. “i know the heat can be hard on senior citizen, your joints may hurt.” it’s not even the worse he can say, but he knows seokyung will hate it. he hates being called old, hates being reminded that being an idol at age thirty something is stupid as fuck, and for that luke has to keep telling it to him. 

he’s been in a surprisingly good mood lately and he doesn’t even know why, he just is. maybe because it feels good leaving his hometown even if for a little bit, because it’s nice to leave that kind of monotony behind for a couple of days. it feels nice and it feels different, a good kind of different; so much he’s even happy with the weather, with the people, with everything. one would actually think someone cloned seokyung and sent his clone to the trip instead of the idol himself. 

one thing that remains the same is his never ending push and pull with the rest of olympus, which doesn’t surprise him, doesn’t surprise his manager and certainly doesn’t surprise his members since they’re also very much out for blood, as it casually is with them. but he’s alright with that, he’s no saint and he’s still inclined to messing with each of them if they push him, except for san, he will actively come for san for literally no reason whatsoever. 

rehearsals are done and he feels pretty content with the outcome, as usual, the boys get praised and told they did a good job, that they can take a break. but seokyung, instead of taking a complete break, he walks away only a bit where he can re-read the lyrics to the song they’re going to cover. he plugs his earphones but only wears one of them, in case someone calls for him. he plays the song and quietly sings along. it’s not that he doesn’t know it, oh he does, but pronunciation is important and he doesn’t want to disappoint the fans.

but of course all peaceful moments come to an end eventually, and luke is the one to end his moment... of all people. he doesn’t look up when he calls for him, knowing he isn’t actually concerned about how he’s feeling, and only confirming that when he throws another comment regarding his age at him. he should’ve known.

seokyung scoffs and looks up, “i would ask if that’s all you got, but i’m sure it is. can’t even be creative enough to come up with your supposed hurtful comments. i suppose you’ve been getting along with taeho and san just fine?” and he lets out a soft laugh, his eyes looking back down at his phone. “but to answer your question, i’m feeling great, thanks for your fake concern. how are you holding up?” he asks back, and once again, looks up; “just wondering because it must be tiring to put some effort for once into your work. poor luke works so hard coming up with his sob stories and fake charity work, i’m worried. please don’t overwork yourself, i’d be really sad if you did.” he pouts at him, only to turn said pout into a grin, “now, unless you have something better than coming for my age, i’m actually busy. so, get out of my face, yeah?”

mirror.

[archived-seo]

never ending.

ft. @idryusan; waiting room, backstage at kbs showtime showcase.

he’s tired. and no, the flight from south korea to chile has nothing to do with it; he’s just tired. tired of seeing these faces, tired of having to deal with snarky remarks, sarcastic comments, of the tension in the room, of knowing everyone is waiting to throw a bad comment so someone else can catch it and jump each at other’s throats. it’s the usual olympus routine, is it not? wanting to bait the other into a fight or completely ignoring each other. he often feels as if the group as a whole are zero or one hundred. either they ignore each other, pretend they don’t exist? or they look for reasons to fight, because.. why not?

and seokyung knows he could do better than them, after all, he’s older, he feels he could be the bigger person, the rational one. he could be the one to ignore everything, the one to remain silent, the one to not mess with anyone; but what does he do? he’s usually the one confronting them, antagonizing them, almost as if it’s some kind of sport and he wants the gold medal. 

but it’s ryu san his favorite target. it’s been that way since they were younger, it’s not a new thing and maybe that’s why there’s so much hatred between them. it’s hilarious in a way because seokyung only ever started to hate him until san started to bite back, until he started to defend himself. that’s when he hated him, when the younger male knew how to and where to take a dig at him. 

and here they are, no one looking at each other, eyes on their phones or rummaging through their bags. it’s heavy and it’s tense and seokyung is growing desperate, growing bored. and it’s almost as if life tells him ‘here you go’ because he watches san get up from his chair and walk outside. seokyung being seokyung gets up from his chair and plops down on the chair san had just gotten up from. he smiles, satisfied with himself. maybe it’s a small, silly thing but isn’t it annoying when you get up from somewhere only to find out someone else has taken your seat? especially because this specific chair had been placed pretty far away from the other chairs and couch where taeho, seokyung and luke were sitting.

so, when san comes back, he could go and sit on the couch next to one of the other boys, or he could go and take the chair seokyung just abandoned, but he doubts he wants to be close to taeho or luke, so either he’ll have to deal with it or he’ll have to confront him and he sure hopes it’s the latter.

[archived-seo]

idnsj‌:

The corners of her mouth ache from smiling so much, she’s sure she’s been smiling wider just to try and mask the awkward tension that sits around the room and her mouth reminds her that all the smiles in the world won’t manage to cure it. But still, she grins and reads the comments that filter through its better to bear everything with a smile.

his friends always wondered why he didn’t pursue a career in acting. to be honest, his friends always wondered why he didn’t do /more/ with his career. he was a good pretender, he could be the nicest guy in the room while wanting to kick you in the mouth on the inside. his friends always thought that took a special kind of talent. sure, all of them could act and behave as if they were always happy and excited about whatever bullshit, they were trained for it, after all. but seokyung always went above and beyond with it to the point it became real to many, because he made it feel real. 

so it’s all the same question, why doesn’t he pursue a career in acting? why doesn’t he pursue a solo career? he has a strong, powerful voice, writes his own music, currently works on producing it as well, so why didn’t he? because he just didn’t want to. because the acting in his daily life was more than enough and because performing itself wasn’t exhausting but having to do it surrounded by a group of assholes was. so he shrugs it off, and he dedicates himself to give the fans what they want; random daily content about his life. if he went shopping here or there, if he bought this or that, if he cooks an omelette for breakfast, if he has salad or an actual complicated plate for lunch. he gives to them, caters to them. 

and that’s what he does now. he smiles, looks charming, responds a couple of comments here and there, thanks them when they call him ‘handsome’, frowns when they say he’s ‘cute’, tells them he’s almost thirty, he can’t be cute anymore. he gives them what they want, because his life is easier that way, it’s always been. 

which is why he lets soojung lead the whole thing. he’s just there to make numbers and look pretty after all. so he smiles and ‘oh’s’ at everything she says, as if he’s actually impressed and very much into the whole thing. which he is, but also isn’t. is in it for her, but if he could get out of it? he would. being home was better than this, but he still felt like he owed this to her, somehow. 

when contact comes and she’s suddenly away from him, he simply chuckles, but doesn’t make a big deal out of it. this is what he has learned: if he says ‘it’s okay’, then half of the fans would believe he’s interested in her and wants her close, the other half would think he’s cute for wanting to make her feel comfortable. in order to not mess with any of the halves, he chuckles and even moves away, thinks fast and goes get his phone from his manager, disappearing for a moment from the frame. “i’ll help after i do this.” he says once he’s back, opening his phone’s camera and snapping a picture of the counter, “it’s always good to save the memories.” he’s not going to keep that picture on his phone, thought.

“yah, what are you saying? you’re very creative too.” he responds, his tone a bit sulky, but his hands are quick, already getting to work on the decoration. “i’m not as good as everyone thinks though. one thing is cooking or baking and the other is decorating, this might turn out bad.” he comments, but his hands are already skillfully placing pieces of peach on the cake, “also, gordon ramsay...” he makes a brief pause, looks at her, looks at the camera, then back down at the cake, “got nothing on me, actually.” he’s joking and he knows the cyber-crowd will see through that, knows they will laugh at it, and he does too. when he’s done, he points at the cake and sings a little ‘ta~daaaa’ and turns to her, “is it good?” then turns to the camera, “what do you guys think? is it good? or should i try again?” then adds, “or soojung could try too, hers might look nicer.”

Liability

[archived-seo]

idsieun‌:

After ringing the doorbell, Sieun tried to get rid of the droplets of water that she knew had accumulated in her shoes and the bottom hem of her jeans, but it went with no avail because the fabric absorbed it all in her way up to his apartment. It wasn’t something to worry herself anyways. She opened a smiled once Seokyung appeared in the doorframe and shook her head at his question, “old taxi drivers know which roads to avoid when it’s raining, it was quicker than I thought,” she replied while walking past him to get into the apartment. “Coffee will actually go extremely well with what I brought”, she followed him to the kitchen and placed the paper bag with the pastries she bought just before coming on the counter between them, “you look excited oppa, did the rain inspire you in this fine day?”, Sieun raised a inquiring brow at him but smiled nevertheless. She felt these easy moments should be cherished, amidst the mess that was their lives, taking time to stop and breath; it felt like a long time ago since she last did that.

people never believe it when someone says kyo seokyung is a good person. they never believe it when they say he has a nice smile, because truthfully, he barely smiles. of course he does smile when he’s at work, when he’s at a concert or at a fanmeeting, when he’s holding the hand of some fan or when he’s being told a story. but when people get to know him, when people get to know the real seokyung? they all think it’s an act, they all think it’s not possible for him to smile sincerely, to really mean it. 

but he does mean it. he means it when he’s in a place where there’s no stress, surrounded by people he actually cherishes and cares about. sieun was one of them. she’s fun to be around, and she’s been like that since they were younger. another thing about her was that both understand the struggles of wanting to succeed in an industry where people take for granted what you do and call you out because they believe everything was handed to you. but nothing was handed to him and nothing was handed to her. they worked hard and he should know because they would spend endless hours practicing together, perfecting their craft. 

in the end, that was why he didn’t give a fuck about other people’s opinions. what did they even know, anyway?

he doesn’t turn around to see the bag, instead he’s already too focused working on the coffee, he can already assume she brought pastries, both because it’s pretty obvious and also because he could recognize the sound of the bag. “coffee it is.” he responds, reaching out for two cups from the cupboard. before he can serve it, he turns to look at her and smiles, “i’m always inspired.” which isn’t a lie. throughout the years, seokyung has learned to convey his feelings into music. if he’s happy, if he’s angry, if he’s melancholic, if it’s sunny, if it’s rainy, if it’s hot, if it’s cold, it doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, working on music is what ultimately soothes his soul more than anything else in the world. 

once both cups have been served, he turns around and places them both down on the counter, gently pushing one of them towards her. “but yes, for whatever reason, rain inspired me a lot today. i think you’re gonna love what i’ve been working on.” and he loved it, he loved working on songs, on different melodies. it just sucked he sometimes didn’t have many people he could give them to. maybe he should start handing them over to other groups or something like that. 

because he had been drinking coffee all morning, sieun could already find milk, cream, sugar and whatever else she could possibly want for her coffee in the counter. he adds milk and a teaspoon of sugar. “how’ve you been, though?” this question, he asks it a lot. but the catch here is: he doesn’t give a damn to know about it if he doesn’t care about you. he asks it, out of pure habit, mostly. but with her? a genuine friend? he actually cared, and was more than interested in knowing. “you girls just finished promotions, right? how did it go?”

thunder

[archived-seo]

thunder

ft. @idsieun.

his fingertips tap against the window; a normal steady pace. his eyes follow the raindrops as they slid down the glass. some fast, some slow, some find their way until they eventually connect. it’s been raining for an hour or so already, and quite frankly, he’s fascinated by it. it’s not too early, not too late, that alone paints the sky grey and he loves it. 

for a moment, he feels bad, maybe he should’ve met up with sieun at midas’ building, after all, the building is closer to her place for all he knows. then again, he knows they won’t find the privacy he enjoys over here and, the possibilities of finding any of his group mates or some annoying trainee were pretty high and he just didn’t want to risk it whatsoever. 

so he moves away from the window and sits down on his chair, leans back against it and stares at his computer screen. he reads the notes, he reads the melodies he’s been using and he’s proud. he’s been working on plenty of music lately, and to anyone, they would think it’s music he wants to use, music he wants to keep and maybe try to put out there if he ever decides to go solo.

but no.

seokyung isn’t interested in going solo, at all. he loves singing, he loves his talent and knows just how good he’s at it, but it’s not something he dreams of, or something he needs at all. he loves making music just because and because he has no issues in handing over said songs to his friends; people he actually calls friends (or you know, selling them).

he replays it and smiles when the song fills the room. it’s good, it’s really good he tells himself. but the moment is suddenly cut short when the doorbells rings, prompting seokyung to pause the song and get up from his chair, dragging his feet outside of his studio and over to his front door, where he already knows who’s waiting for him to open up. 

he doesn’t welcome just any visitors and the security guards know that, only people he has previously pre-approved to come up are allowed, otherwise? you’d have to turn around and go home because it means seokyung has no interest in welcoming you at his place. thus, he opens the door, and immediately steps aside to let sieun in, closing the door behind her.

“i hope the weather didn’t make it difficult to get here?” he inquires, eye peering over at the large windows, catching a glimpse of traffic. “coffee?” he’s already passing her by, making his way over to the kitchen, “or something else? lately i’ve met plenty of people who aren’t too fond of caffeine, which is absurd to me.” he stops rambling, only to lean against his kitchen table and look at his friend, “sieun-a.” he grins, “make a quick choice. i have so much to show you.”

[archived-seo]

idxnoah‌:

“leather jacket and white shirt?” in his loft, clothes a mountain on his bed, noah implores seokyung’s advice as he debates his outfit. the reflection he sees in the mirror is a lanky man, hair brushed back for no good reason (maybe it’ll get messed up later), black jeans ripped at the knees. “or is that overrated? anyway, what’s the game plan tonight, hyung? same shit as always? club hopping. bar hopping. meeting new or the same old people?” aka messing around. wrecking lives while wrecking their livers.

he couldn’t quite remember when, and honestly, how could he when he had heard the same question so many times?

“do you even have any friends?”

and as he lays there, in the pile of clothes noah has decided not to wear, as he looks at one of his best friends with unmatched adoration, he can only smile because indeed, he does. he does have friends. maybe friends under the wrong circumstances, because they like to get drunk and act stupid, be loud, be wild, feel free. because they make bets on each other, on how long their new relationship will last? on how fast they can take to get a girl in bed; they bet about everything and they laugh about it. it’s all fun and it’s all jokes and they love it because they feel like in this messed up industry, at least they have found people that are genuine: like them. 

no masks, no nothing. they can be themselves.

and when seokyung looks at noah, he can’t help but think about olympus and how much he despises that group and the people in it. how much he wishes noah could be in it, at least he wouldn’t feel so alone, at least he wouldn’t feel triggered enough to start a confrontation because at this point, he can’t even help it, he has to fight and he has to hate. he feels like he has to be the worst version of himself with them and he hates it, he hates them.

not with his best friend though, never with him. “overrated maybe, but killer.” he points out, pulling his phone out, a strand of hair covering his eyes and seo is quick to brush it away, “same shit as always sounds good except this time...” after a couple of taps, he shows his phone to noah, “to this club. it’s new, it’s exclusive. so that calls for new people. seeing the same idiots every weekend is getting boring.” and if there’s one thing seokyung hates? is monotony, he absolutely hates it.

tucking the phone back in his pocket, seokyung gets up from the bed and stands behind noah, looking at his and his friend’s reflection. “why’s your hair like this? what’s this?” he lifts his hand and runs his fingers through it in a fast and swift motion, making it look messier, but in his opinion, “better.” he smiles, then pats his shoulder. “you ready to go, duchess of cambridge? you’re taking too long.” he walks towards the door and leans against the frame.”i’m gonna turn fucking forty by the time you’re done, so hurry up!”

to be or not to be.

[archived-seo]

Day vs Night: Get A Man Who Can Do Both

[archived-seo]

idnsj‌:

“See this isn’t so complicated,” she talks loudly for the benefit of herself and an effort to block out the current company as well, but duty calls and when she looks up she can see a staff member mouthing for her to interact with Seokyung. People think you guys are awkward, he mouths and it takes Herculean effort for Soojung not to roll her eyes and snap back that they are awkward. “Seokyung how are you doing? Do you think it’s too tough?”

he stands there and waits for soojung to give him instructions, instructions that he receives and gladly accepts. he doesn’t feel like he’s in position to argue or to ask her to give him something more ‘complicated’ to do, because in the end, he understands he’s just here as some sort of prop, isn’t he? midas wants him there and he only does it because this is about soojung, because quite frankly, if this was about someone else, he definitely wouldn’t care much, or better yet, he wouldn’t even be there.

but he also knows what his presence in the broadcast does and that’s the high amount of olympians along with jinx’s charms watching and going crazy in the chat section, which he sometimes peers up to read, not wanting to entertain himself too much from the task at hand, hands and fingers skillfully fulfilling soojung’s request. eventually, he hears her answer a question, a question that comes with a jab at midas and he can’t help but chuckle. aren’t they all sick of the company? he knows he is, he knows the guys in olympus are, and he knows plenty of people in the company feel the same way, so he can’t even blame her for that. 

when her question comes, he looks up, first at the camera, then at her, “no, not really? but it’s really entertaining.” he says before his eyes look down at the chat. right away he can spot comments from his fans, comments directed at soojung specifically; 

‘how can you ask such questions?! oppa knows how to cut fruit, he has posted videos about it!’ 

‘is she really trying to imply seokyungie is having trouble with fruit? how annoying...’

‘soojung~unnie! aren’t you supposed to know your friend posts videos about his diet? how could this be even hard at all...?’

but seokyung ignores them, he doesn’t read them out loud and categorically pretends he didn’t even see them, instead chooses a random comment about his looks, “oppa, you’re so handsome.” he reads out loud and smiles, thanking the person who sent it. “you should have your own cooking show, owlie!” he reads that one out loud too and shakes his head, “oh no, i’m not... i’m not really as good as most of you possibly imagine.” this is when he tries to direct his answer at the fans who tried to attack soojung for her question, “i don’t think i have the talent for that, i can do many things but cooking isn’t really too high in that list, so i should just stick to singing and writing.”

when he’s done with the peaches, he leans against the counter and keeps reading the comments, “soojung-ah, someone wants to know your favorite recipes.” he pauses to read another comment, “and they also want to know who are our top best friends outside of jinx and olympus.” he knows he has to lie his ass through this one, although not entirely, “i love my olympus brothers.” that’s a lie, and he almost cracks by laughing, “but everyone knows i have a special place in my heart for imperial’s noah and jaeyoon.” that’s the truth, the guys he wished could be in olympus instead of... those guys. “what about you?” he asks, this time turning to soojung.

Liability

[archived-seo]

idnsj‌:

She smiles brightly at him like she did ages ago, makes herself sound more familiar than she has been in years and waits for the rest of the room to bristle in response. It’s more than they deserve, more than he deserves.

ft. @idseokyung

kyo seokyung has done plenty of bad things in his life. some much worse than others but bad things in the end; no matter how he’d want to change the narrative of them, he’s aware he was the one who fucked up, the one who wronged someone, the one who said the bad thing, the one who completely fucked everything up. and his past with soojung was no different. 

even up to this day, he questions himself. he wonders why, why did he do it? why did things go the way he made them go? why at the time he laughed at it, brushed it off and didn’t give much of a fuck? why he felt bad about it now? wasn’t it too late now? to feel bad? to feel remorseful for the way he handled things? it was, yet, he couldn’t help it.

so midas calls him and they ask him if he’s available to do a live broadcast. he’s quick to say no. was he busy? he actually was, he had calls to do, people to talk to, negotiations to do about certain business ideas he had. yes, he was indeed busy. so he says no, that he can’t. they hang up and call again, this time they say; ‘please, it’s for soojung’. and this time, he says yes.

so he walks into midas’ building and kitchen (in that order) with the most relaxed attire he could pull up. he knows the fans will be watching and he knows they will leave flattering comments about his image during (and after) the vlive. so he wears jeans, a sweatshirt, and lets his hair loose, no need to use any products, he knows they like it that way. 

he doesn’t say anything to soojung because this is all business, isn’t it? he’s only here to do his job and then leave, not to socialize. plus, even if they socialized, would they get something good out of it? certainly not, if anything, he was sure she’d try her absolute best to ignore his entire existence and rightfully so. and there they are, he receives notes from the staff, usual stuff not to do or say, stuff he knows about since they were trainees. reminders of not getting too close, reminders of being kind to each other but not overdo it. 

there’s a story not everyone knows. there’s rumors not everyone knows. but rumors are rumors and fans refuse to forget those rumors, they refuse to forget once upon a time soojung and seokyung had dated and things certainly didn’t end well for her. although never publicly discussed, although never confirmed. rumors always pulled through and midas was aware of them.

the broadcast begins and he stays out until she introduces him. clapping once, seokyung walks in and waves both hands at the camera, “hello, i’m olympus’ seokyung and today we’re going to pray i don’t burn this kitchen down.” he cracks a joke and even a couple of girls in the staff laugh with him. “in all seriousness though, i’m very happy to be here. i have no idea what are we going to do but,” he turns to look at soojung and smiles at her. it’s so easy, really. “i’m sure soojie here will lead successfully and we’ll make a great team.” then he looks back at the camera, “and you can ask us some questions and we’ll try our best to answer. so don’t be shy and talk to us.”

Liability

[archived-seo]

idryusan‌:

he’s put up with the lot of them for too long. he doesn’t have the patience for this – and he’s used up the last of his bland indifference over the years. he doesn’t feel like sitting still, nodding along, agreeing to whatever it is they decide to call him. whatever they decide makes san who he is, sub-human. “i’d love to see your thirty year old ass reamed out by your father for fucking around with his company over this complete bullshit. and here’s where you say he’ll support you, right? but even i can see through that lie. so go fuck with my family seokyung. fuck with me. throw around all that money. and say it louder, maybe i’m recording.” he smiles wide as he tosses out this threat. he’s not recording, but he wants to see if he can push a look of fleeting fear across seokyung’s face. he wants to get back at him. he wants to hurt him back.

he backtracks. not emotionally, but physically, seokyung backtracks. and he hates it, he’s furious, he’s beyond pissed off, if he could (which technically he /could/), he wouldn’t hesitate in punching san’s lights out. but he doesn’t, he just stands there, trying not to show he has been critically damaged. but he’s making a bad job at that, isn’t he? just standing there? looking at san with pain? with anger? he knows he’s showing it, and he dislikes it far too much. 

‘how can you live underneath all this abuse?’, the question lingers in his mind.

indeed, how? he knows san was being sarcastic and was simply talking about their current stupid and nonsensical fight, he knows. but the words still strike something within him. the past, the past that haunts him, the past that shaped him into who he is today, the past that taught him sometimes you have to step on people to feel better about yourself; wasn’t that what his father and uncle did to him, anyway? they stepped on him and didn’t care, they never did. 

so he does the same to others; he did it to olympus when they were younger, he tried to step on them, but they all fought back. then he tried to step on younger idols and sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. he stepped on several women, some who loved him even; he stepped and he stepped and he felt important, he felt superior, he felt better than the rest. 

so it’s a reminder, san’s words are a reminder of the pain he endured, the pain he canalized into this, into his very own miserable existence. “maybe you’re recording?” he scoffs, “maybe i’d believe you if you were smarter but i know that you’re not.” but it’s okay, talking without any kind of truth coming from their mouths right now is understandable considering he threw his empty threats at him first. “but by all means, i’ll gladly repeat it and tell you that i’m going to fuck you over if you try to mess with my career, and that’s the truth. i don’t give a fuck about my feelings or whatever bullshit you’re spewing right now; this isn’t about feelings.” 

it was about pride.

“in which i’m not going to let some spoiled, overrated piece of shit try to mess with my career. if i ever find out you’re doing or saying shit to mess with it, you already know i’m not going to sit back; i’m going to fucking screw you, and that’s that. it’s a warning, san. the only one you’ll ever get from me.” quickly reaching out, he manages to pat san’s arm once while putting a smile on his face, “are we clear?” from the corner of his eye, he can see the crew is getting ready to resume shooting the show. “we better be clear because your hyung is ready to show our fans just how much he loves you.” it’s yet another reminder that as long as the cameras are rolling? he will continue to mess with him. a never ending vicious (and pathetic) cycle.

play pretend.

[archived-seo]

idtaeho‌:

taeho scoffs. “for the fans? sure. you tell yourself that if it helps anything. i don’t believe you,” he says, matter of factly, a raised brow, “and thanks for the tip, hyung. though it’s rich to hear about working hard from you. have you ever? heard your family always gave you everything you asked for. must be nice.”

“didn’t know you were into believing whatever gossip you hear, then again, it is you we’re talking about, so i shouldn’t be surprised.” taeho mentioning he ‘heard’ he got everything from his family was, ironically, rich. because no, he couldn’t be more wrong right now. seokyung had what he had because he worked hard, because he had talent, because he managed to pull a card out of his pocket and played it right. yes, maybe there was that small advantage in him being known even way before he became an idol; his family and their parties to blame, of course. but other than that? he earned everything he had, he didn’t need the Kyos, never did.

“you sound a bit pressed though. assuming my family handed me everything with that tone? tsk, tsk, tsk, do better taeho, do better.” now, there are times seokyung deeply regrets the time him and taeho were friends, not because they don’t like each other now but because seokyung had shared pieces of his past, of how bad he had it when he was younger, on how his parents dismissed him, on how his uncle was far, ridiculously far, from being kind. whether he forgot those details by now or not? he didn’t know, but it bothered him, it bothered him thinking about how ridiculous he had been to open up to this.. guy.

“by the way, i don’t care if you believe me or not, i get why you wouldn’t considering you clearly don’t give a fuck about the people that look up to you.” which is a hypocritical of seokyung, because yes, while he was nice and genuinely cared about his fans; he had created himself a certain fame about being a dick to trainees and younger idols who once upon a time looked up to him. 

the song comes to an end and they go live again, seokyung’s eyes still deeply looking into taeho’s, but this time the tone of his voice changes into his usual ‘professional’ tone, “well, what a great song, you’ve been working really hard and it shows.” a lie, everything is a lie. one of his crew guys walks into the cabin and hands seokyung some notes that he quickly peers through, “olympians called and we now have a large, REALLY large list of questions they want me to ask you. since we don’t have enough time to ask all of them, i’ll choose some at random.” one of them in particular already catching his attention, “who is your closest friend in olympus?” he asks with a smile on his face, curious as to what lie taeho is going to come up with, “and why?”

old wounds

[archived-seo]

Even when I’m born again, it’s still only you

[archived-seo]

idryusan‌:

seokyung’s final statement is what shakes san out of his stonewalled mood. and it’s undoubtedly not what seokyung wants. san’s lips tip up into a smile, and then he’s laughing. he leans back to settle his weight against the wall, head tipped back. eventually, he claws the expression from his own face, that painted on smile. “oh no, you’ll tell your daddy on me? what’ll i do? so scary. and i’m the tattle tale?” san asks him back, and now everything is dipped in darkened humor. “oh no, will he get angry that i made you so sad? will he fuck with an entire entertainment company and their assets because i hurt your feelings?” san asks, voice lilting out in a songbird’s intonation. he laughs again, cruel this time. “cute. so fucking cute. and you call me the child. you tell me i can’t fight my battles. don’t you ever get sick of being the biggest hypocritical asshole on the planet?”

san asked him a question, a question he has an answer for but he’s not willing to share with him. ‘what is he bringing to the table?’, he felt like he brought a lot. whether san knew it but dismissed it so he could talk shit to him or he actually didn’t know and it was a genuine question? he didn’t care. but seokyung was legitimately sure he brought something; he brought a safe haven, he brought a space for fans to feel at ease, to know they weren’t alone. he brought a channel where he often talked about his life and his struggles, that made him more human, way more human than the perfect-kind-of-guy midas’ agenda had always tried to push on him, on all them. 

you have taeho cracking his dumb jokes on shows. you have san supposedly looking like some sort of flawless disney prince. you have luke bullshitting it around with his fake charity work. how could people not believe these guys are all perfect and sweet?

that was the bizarre thing about kyo seokyung; his natural ability to hate everyone around him (family, group members and whoever else), but not his fans, their fans. because every time they had to come face-to-face with them, every time one of them would hold his hand and tell him how proud they were of his work, it made him feel better. maybe it was a bit sad, maybe it was a bit stupid to think this happened because he never heard that from anyone else; certainly not his parents that is for sure. he was aware that his fucked up childhood had a lot to do with the way he was now. but the thing is: everything was sentimental, everything was about emotions and what he helped others with. so he couldn’t talk about this to san; for what? so he could mock him? so he could laugh at his face just as he was doing already? nah, there was no point. 

but he isn’t a victim. seokyung isn’t a victim, maybe in the past? he was. he was defenseless, he couldn’t do much against a bunch of adults. but now he was the adult, and he had been one for several years and instead of raising above all of it, what did he do? he victimized. he treated others like shit, he treated others like they didn’t mean a thing to him, he treated his group mates like he was superior for whatever stupid reason. he fucked up, he became the one thing he hated the most as a child and now? now there was no turning back.

so when san accused him of running and telling his father about him, he can’t help but quirk an eyebrow, knowing the words he shouldn’t say are about to come out anyway, “who said anything about me telling my father?” crossing his arms in front of his chest, seokyung tilted his head, “you’re underestimating how much power they have and subsequently, how much i have.” while that might be true? he knows he’s about to throw empty threats, “so get this: i don’t give a fuck if midas comes to me one of these days and says ‘hey we’re taking this away from you’, that’s fine. but if i ever find out i’m getting fucked over because of you? then you’re making it personal and if you want to make it personal then...” he shrugged, still telling himself he needs to shut up, he needs to not /say/ what he’s going to say, “i wouldn’t hesitate in making it personal enough to mess with your family. so don’t fucking try me, don’t ever think about it.”

but it’s empty, it’s empty. no matter how much of a piece of shit he was, seokyung knew he’d never dare inflict any kind of damage to someone outside of his ~box~. but he wants to get to san, he wants to throw another jab at him, he wants to see if he can crack him, even if just a little.

play pretend.

[archived-seo]

《_HUHAM_》

[archived-seo]

idtaeho‌:

taeho leans back on the chair, picks up his own phone, scrolls through his instagram in a bored habit. he looks up to seokyung, yawns. the song he’s playing is halfway through now and they’re not even close to ending this shitfest. “don’t you think about that, by the way? i mean. our group is basically over, we’ve been around for what, almost a decade and what have you built? this show?” he looks around, unimpressed. “aren’t you scared of what’s going to happen to you? i’m sorry for meddling, but i’m worried about you, hyung,” taeho smiles tilts his head. “ti don’t want you to be forgotten once olympus is over. how sad would that be?”

He was listening, he was taking in every jab Taeho has throwing his way. He had to give it to him, he tried and he tried really hard. In order to get to Seokyung, one had to try hard to do so, to know exactly where to press. The problem was that Taeho was pressing the same buttons he had pressed since years ago. If it wasn’t the age, then it was this-whatever-perception everyone seemed to have about Seokyung not having a solo, which was laughable to him because it wasn’t like he wanted to have one.

He let him finish, only to let out a soft cackle once he was done, leaning back against his chair, arms crossing in front of his chest, opting for a much more relaxed stance. “Yah, there’s really no doubt, San and you are the same person.” he commented, cynically, a shit-eating grin on his face. “No, really! You two talk and say the same shit to me you’ve said for so many years now. I wonder if you two get together and share notes? Share insults and what have you to get to me? Because really, you’re not saying anything new to me. But let me clarify a few things, shall we?” once again, he leaned forward, as if he was about to catch up with an old good friend.

“You’re right, I don’t give a fuck about your solo, about your music video, about whatever the fuck you do. Why would I care? On that note, this whole ‘if the company gives you a solo’ discourse is... so out of place, really. Do you really think I wasn’t offered one? Do you really think, ME, the one who can outsing you didn’t get offered the chance to have one? Of course they did, did I want it? No. That’s kind of the thing, I have all of these talents that I can give myself the privilege of turning down things unlike you, who tries to be here and there and grab this and grab that, because you... you are actually desperate for attention.” he paused, tilting his head, “Just like San. You two are truly the same.” he made sure to press on the other Olympus member because he was aware of how much everyone disliked the other, and being compared to Ryu San would be a slap to the face to Seokyung, so why not try and take a dig at Taeho with it? 

“I have zero explanations to give you, by the way. But just for the sake of shutting you up...” he trailed off, once again leaning back against his chair, “This show doesn’t exist because I tried to ‘built’ something, as cheesy as it may sound to you, it exists for those fans out there who still give a shit about the dumpster this group is, shocking, right?” he shrugged, “And don’t worry about me!” he responded, using the same sarcasm Taeho was giving him, “I won’t be forgotten. It’s like you and the others fail to realize all of the money I’ve made with Olympus is nothing compared to the money I already owe by simply carrying the ‘Kyo’ in my blood. Imagine, imagine thinking I would fucking blink if Midas took this show away from me or whatever else when I could just snap my fingers and get whatever I want.” he leaned forward again, “Unlike you all, I don’t have to fucking struggle to stay relevant, because I was relevant since the day I was born and it will remain that way. But good try, maybe try to come up with some new material next time you want to fight me. I suppose all of those bullshit variety gigs you’ve made already drained all of your ideas? Poor Taeho, indeed. Stop working so hard, there’s only so many places people can stand seeing your face in.” 

old wounds

[archived-seo]

idryusan‌:

a manager edges closer near the quiet, brittle end of san’s retort. san’s jaw’s still clenched. he looks livid, the exact opposite of what seokyung is explaining away. but it’s not out of character. san often looks livid when they’re on schedules. sometimes he gets separated out, told to cool down. “so break it. i’ll go tell the ceo. let’s see how fast you get that radio show taken away from you, huh?” san’s biting back when he shouldn’t, but anger is simmering underneath his skin. he can barely contain himself from reaching out, shoving again. “you don’t get to do whatever the fuck you want with me and pretend it’s not the same. you’re not above me. don’t pretend you’re above fucking anyone. you’re pathetic. so break my face. really. i dare you.” he inches closer as he says it, a cruel twist of a smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

There were lines Seokyung knew they shouldn’t cross. As much as they hated each other, he knew it wasn’t smart to get in some sort of fight (physical, because verbal... that was truly inevitable). And yet, he couldn’t contain his anger, sensing San’s hand way too close to him was a lot, way too much for him to be able to handle and... it bothered him. It bothered him that it bothered him, because in this whatever-you-would-call-it game; showing that someone has successfully gotten to you can be displayed as weakness and if there was anything he didn’t want was to display that weakness, to let San believe he affected him.

And so, the general vibe between them was heavy, tense, not even a knife could cut it at this point. San was way too close to him and he didn’t flinch, nor stepped back. The younger male had thrown around several words and Seokyung knew he couldn’t remain silent (even if it was the mature and best thing to do, but alas). Thus, he laughed. His eyes closed as he let out a chuckle, as if San had just shared a joke with him. “Ah, typical.” he managed to say, throwing back his head, bringing one hand up to wipe away one imaginary tear. 

“You’ll tell the ce-” but he breaks up again, laughing. He laughed, and laughed, most definitely for a couple of seconds, “You’ll tell the CEO? What a fucking baby!” the humor in his voice wasn’t a good idea, but Seokyung was certainly known for coming up with bad ideas sometimes. “Ah, man. I expected... I expected so much, so much! I don’t know, for you to keep calling me old or for you to say my career will go nowhere, I don’t know. But you? Snitching? That’s... that’s the most San thing you’ve ever said, my God.” the hand he had used to wipe away the imaginary tear now lowering itself down.

Seokyung doesn’t exactly know the consequences, but yes, of course he knew they would be severe if San was one to open his mouth. To the point of getting his show taken away? Who knows. Either way, exactly because the younger male is right and bad things could happen to him if he went on to talk to the CEO, he obviously wouldn’t want to risk it. “I gotta say, I was growing very tired and frustrated with you but that, that was rich. Just goes to show how you’re incapable of fighting your own battles. Why fight back when you can run and accuse me of something? This is truly the funniest thing I’ve heard lately, ah... Ryu San, you made my day.” he didn’t, he pissed him off, he was still very much pissed, but he had to hide it. “By the way, you’re upset because I think I’m above you or above anyone else but isn’t that what you’re... doing right now? YOU are the one who feels above everyone else. You speak about talking to the CEO to take my show away? You really believe you have THAT much power, huh?”.

Then, he used a card he didn’t like using, one he always tucked deep inside him.. until now. “Don’t forget who my family is.” he spat out, any hint of a smile or laughter gone by now. “I wouldn’t, San. I wouldn’t forget about it. If you EVER do or say anything to mess with my career, I swear, I swear to you you will regret it.” ah, the Kyos, known for building multi-billionaire empire.��

And for crushing their competition.

play pretend.