archwing - Tumblr blog

[archwing]

[archwing]

i need to disappear into the forest on a month long self discovery hiking excursion. forest month would fix me

[archwing]

[archwing]

sobriety talk

adhd and instant gratification seeking brain is so suck. i be like "i think im gonna try to be sober today" then two seconds later im like "maybe i can get a little high. as a treat" like no its NOT a treat it is keeping me in the same hole ive been stuck in for years.

psychological dependence moment!

w.eed is the buffer between me and the outside world, its the buffer between me and my own mind, and its the barrier between me and my success. but i want it anyways, always

edit: i did end up having my little 'treat'. pray for me lmfao

[archwing]

anyways the grape vine in my yard is growing fruit this year. if you even care

[archwing]

talk of eeting dizorder

my hell never ends! had a joke made to me, not even maliciously just repeating the joke, of "you look thinner than you did tomorrow" and the feeling i felt upon hearing it was nauseating like okay thanks for putting the last nail in the coffin!! i could already feel a restrictive relapse coming since ive been slowly gaining back up to a point that i did not want to be at again, so thanks for lighting the fire under my ass!

and its so fucked because i cant talk to anyone about it, i cant talk to my husband or my family because they will tell me to stop and want me to be healthy, i cant tell my housemate because he doesnt hardly fucking eat and thats triggering in and of itself, and i cant tell my therapist because she is also plus sized and i absolutely despise discussing weight with other plus size people, especially about losing weight. i cant talk to my ed twitter mutuals about it because theyre all tiny underweight folks, they wouldnt understand. the one friend i had that would have understood ended up using me as his fucked up motivation to stay skinny. i cant even post about it here without feeling guilty because restrictive eds are so intertwined with fatphobia that i dont want to come off as being the asshole that im not.

im just weighed down by years of stress binge eating and i want the physical reminder to leave. i might be attractive already, but i want to feel attractive. i want to see the musculature ive built up for myself. i want to be able to see my hipbones for the first time in my life. i want my joints to be in less pain. i say that i never wanna be above three hundred again but that means nothing unless i fucking act like it.

[archwing]

Do British people refer to Jay-Z as "Jay-Zed"?

british people are unfamiliar with music or musicians

[archwing]

"so there's a divine form of truth that can't be grasped..."

"oh, like the truth that can be felt?"

"yeah, but this one is the shape of the vessel's emptiness rather than the water within."

"wait, but that's sick, because you can find meaning in stillness and silence."

"exactly."

[archwing]

[archwing]

y’all remind yourselves your account is your space. you’re not a performance. you’re not annoying by being yourself. if people aren’t into it they can leave. you’re not obligated to please anyone, especially at the cost of your personal expression. the worst thing you can do for your online enjoyment is to filter or censor yourself.

[archwing]

You can tell that Laios has an accent. His letters are more squishy and soft and Marcille's are more angular. He pronounces a ㅁ like it's an ㅇ.

[archwing]

[archwing]

my number one skill is being sooo cute and my number two skill is the ancient curse

[archwing]

if it was about 15 years ago i’d already have seen 12 different AMVs of chimera falin set to three days grace animal i have become on my feed but that just doesn’t happen anymore. because of woke

[archwing]

[archwing]

how it feels liking and reblogging posts

[archwing]

unfortunately i Do feel better when i clean my living space and eat enough fruits and veggies and go outside and generally remember i am a mammal :| real pity that knowing this does not make it easier to do those things