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arcticsakura · 4 years ago

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HAPPIER

★ pairing: katsuki bakugo x f!reader , shoto todoroki x f!reader ★ warnings: cursing, slight angst ★ summary: (pro hero!au) – If Katsuki Bakugo truly loved you, he would just want to see you happy. So why does seeing you the happiest you’ve ever been hurt him so much? Oh, probably because you’re happier with that Icy Hot bastard of all people… ★ notes: first of all, i love this request. second of all, this wasn’t as sad as i wanted because the previous angsty mood i was in disappeared oops! i hope you like it anon!!! i had fun writing it!

“Hey, Katsuki, let me know whenever you get home, okay?” You were quick to give your boyfriend of nearly two years a quick peck on the cheek, but your lips had barely grazed his cheek before he was out of the door.

It had been like that for the past two weeks. Katsuki Bakugo was a lot of things, and a hard worker was one of them. He had slowly been making a name for himself in the world of pro heroes, and you knew that he was absolutely determined to make the top ten this year, even though he was still fresh out of UA. You had graduated from Shiketsu High a year behind him, but being a sidekick for another year or two didn’t bother you too much. You just wished your boyfriend would take a break every now and then.

Your second year anniversary was fast approaching, and a small bud of hope that Katsuki had secretly planned something was growing bigger and bigger. Katsuki never forgot anything, no matter how trivial. He was the best at remembering dates, and there was no doubt in your mind that he would forget one of the most important ones of both of your lives, especially since it was only three more days.

Perhaps that was why he seemed to be avoiding you even more than usual; maybe it was because he was overworking but also planning a really nice surprise for your anniversary! The thought of that almost made up for the pang of loneliness you felt more often than usual. One reason you and Katsuki had gotten along so well was that you weren’t clingy; you understood what a hard worker he was, and how sometimes that made him neglectful, but he always made up for his absence.

You smiled as you got ready for work.

Surely this anniversary was going to be the best yet.

━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━

It was the morning of your two year anniversary, and as you rolled over in bed, you were greeted by…nothing.

Lately, it hadn’t been unusual for Katsuki to get up so early. He always liked to work out at dawn, but working out on your anniversary was kind of odd. You naturally assumed that he would have taken the day off, just like you, but he had been awfully serious about pulling up his rank. It was fine, you reassured yourself. Maybe he has a really nice dinner planned.

When you walked around your shared apartment, you were met with nothing out of the ordinary. No flowers, no note, no sign that today was the happiest day of your life. Maybe this was all some sort of plan? Perhaps he wanted you to think he forgot about this special day?

You checked your phone. There were no text messages, other than one from Shoto Todoroki, one of the heroes you worked with frequently.

SHOTO: Hey, I noticed you aren’t at work today. Everything okay? [Y/N]: Everything is fine! :) I took the day off for my anniversary! I hope it’s okay, I had enough sick days saved up. SHOTO: Ah, understandable. Just had to check up on you. [Y/N]: That’s very sweet of you!

The messages from Shoto brought a wide smile to your face. In all honesty, you had been scared of him during your first month of working together. Not only was he incredibly talented, but he hardly ever showed any emotion whatsoever, making him incredibly hard to read and understand. You knew he used to go to school with Katsuki, but they hardly ever spoke about each other.

You spent the whole entire day in your apartment, your excitement growing as the time for Katsuki to arrive home drew nearer and nearer. You weren’t sure what he had planned, but you decided to dress up, just a little, in case he had made some fancy dinner reservations. You waited in the kitchen patiently, checking your phone for any more texts. There had been none, other than one from another one of your coworkers, Uraraka, who sent you a candid photo of Shoto.

URARAKA: hehe, i think shoto’s a little lonely that you’re not here!!

You rolled your eyes. She was constantly teasing you, saying that Shoto and you were perfect for each other, even though you told her time after time that you were happily in love with Katsuki.

He was thirty minutes late, but you weren’t worried. He had been working later and later, trying to take down as many criminals as he could. Thirty minutes became an hour and that hour became two and two hours turned into three, four, five…

You woke up to the slamming of your apartment door. The sound jolted you out of the seat, and had it not been for your hero reflexes, you would have fallen out. Katsuki flicked on the kitchen light, obviously startled at the sight of you.

“[Y/N], what’re you doing up so late?” He asked, heading towards the fridge to grab a bottle of water. He hardly even looked at you.

“I- huh?” You checked the time on the microwave. It was nearly one in the morning. The realization that Katsuki might not have had something planned for your anniversary was…disappointing, to say the least. You swallowed hard before finding out if it was true. “So, are you going to be off anytime soon?”

“[Y/N], you know I don’t take off days.” He replied back, turning to face you. He finally took in your appearance, the makeup slightly smudged from you falling asleep on the kitchen table from the wine dress you had slipped in to. “What’s the occasion? Celebration at work or something?”

“You’re joking, right?” Judging by his furrowed eyebrows and confused expression, you nodded slowly. He was in fact, not joking. He had been so absorbed in his desperation to be number one that he had forgotten that there was someone to come home to, someone who loved him regardless of his hero ranking. “You’re not joking.” You said, flatly, refusing to let all the emotions you were dealing with rise up to the surface. You felt ridiculous, you felt foolish, you felt… insignificant. How had he not remembered something so important?

“I don’t get what you’re talking about.” He said, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“It was our anniversary, Katsuki.” You expected the words to have a stronger impact on your boyfriend.

“Oh.”

“That’s all you have to say?” Did he notice how your voice was shaking, or did he just not care? Maybe he didn’t notice. He hadn’t noticed you in a long time, so you wouldn’t be surprised.

“Fuck. What do you want me to say? That I’m sorry? ‘Cause I’m not.” His words punched you where it hurt, and like a turtle, you retreat to the safety of your shell. You take a step back, nearly toppling backwards onto the kitchen table.

“You don’t mean that.” You replied back. Of course he meant it. He was Katsuki fucking Bakugo, and he never lied. He would rather die than lie. What made you think that he would ever tell you anything but the truth? If he said he wasn’t sorry, then he wasn’t sorry. End of story. That didn’t mean it had to be the end of your relationship though.

Like a child who broke their grandmother’s prized china collection, you were desperately trying to piece back whatever shattered remains you could, but no matter how hard you tried, there was no way your relationship would ever be the same as it had been last year.

“Obviously I fucking do if I said it.” You winced. It was as if his words were affecting you physically as much as it was emotionally.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you.”

“You know I’ve been busy.”

“Yes, but… I just thought–”

“You don’t expect me to give up my dreams just because I’m dating you, do you? Because I’ve had these aspirations since childhood, and I–”

“I would never expect for you to give up–”

“Well, you sure as hell don’t ever show your supp–”

“I try to, but I have a career of my ow–”

“Oh, a career of your own? So the hell do I, so why–”

When had the room started to grow warmer? Who had raised their voice first? Why were hot tears dripping down your cheeks? Who was this heartless man standing in front of you, taking a knife to your heart and repeatedly taking harsh jabs at it? Why had you expected him to remember? He was a busy man, and he was right. Why was he relentless with his harsh words? Why did the insults flow so easily off his lips, like venom from a snake? Why were you just standing there, crying? When had your relationship gotten to a point like this?

You realized that your relationship had been a sinking ship from the start, the slightest inconvenience being an iceberg, and right now, you two have reached the point of no return. You were drowning and suffocating at the same time, and you felt it, the shift in the atmosphere. This wasn’t a lovers’ quarrel, this was two people who were screaming at each other the fact that they no longer loved each other, neither of them brave enough to actually admit it.

“I’m leaving.” The words come out far colder than you expected, but Katsuki is momentarily stunned.

“Like hell you are.”

“I just need time to think, Bakugo.”

The shift that you had felt was now felt by Katsuki. The realization that had dawned on you just a few minutes ago was now suddenly his.

“Oh.”

He had made no moves to stop you as you grabbed your coat and headed out the door. Had you expected him to? No, not really. Katsuki Bakugo was a man of action, but he was hardly ever one to chase after people.

You had nowhere to turn to. Uraraka and Midoriya were kind, but you didn’t exactly want to bother them with your presence. All your friends were in happy, healthy relationships, and you didn’t necessarily want to explain why you needed a place to stay.

There was only one person you knew who wasn’t in a relationship and taking a leap of faith, you called him.

He picked up on the second ring, his voice groggy from being woken up.

“Hello?”

“H-hi, Shoto.”

“[Y/N]?” He sounded much more alert, more awake now. “Is something wrong?”

“I-I need a place to crash for the night, and I know we’re not the closest of frien–”

“Where are you? I can pick you up.”

━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━

You had Katsuki’s schedule memorized. Considering the fact that he worked all the time, it was easy to slip into your once shared apartment without ever running into him. At least you had a majority of your belongings back now. Shoto had been kind enough to let you stay with him until you managed to get your life back together again.

You had thought that things would have been awkward, but for once, you felt at ease. Comfortable, even. Life with Shoto was…easy. For someone who seemed to never speak a lot, his actions spoke volumes. He had picked up on your habits pretty early on, something that proved just how observant the pro was. Within a week of living together, he knew how you liked your tea, introduced you to your brand new obsession of soba noodles, and somewhere in between, Shoto Todoroki managed to find a way to make you fall in love with him.

Even after only a year of dating, there was no hesitation as you cried out a “yes” the moment he got down on one knee.

━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━

Katsuki Bakugo refused to actively search for you. He had known that a week after your argument, you had come back to the apartment because half of the closet and decorations were gone. He had figured that this had just been a nasty fight, and he had been planning ways to grovel and beg you for the forgiveness he surely didn’t deserve.

Nothing could excuse the way he treated you that night, and the words exchanged haunted him every second of his life. Memories of you crying swirled in his mind, causing him to punch villains just a little bit harder than necessary. You had never called him, and he never had the courage to call you.

But surely you would come back to him eventually, right? Because you loved him still, right?

God, he had been so stupid.

All you ever wanted to do was love him, and he made it the most difficult thing ever. He was brash and rude and spiteful, and you handled him much better than anyone else could, so why the hell had he hurt you so badly? Why the hell did he get so caught up in his selfish need to be number one that he had forgotten about you, the person who told him countless times that he was always going to be your number one hero, official chart be damned?

The first time Katsuki saw you after the breakup, you were leaving a tiny cafe, laughing at something the person next to you just said. You looked as if you were meant to be under sun, making the star your personal spotlight as he felt the warmth and joy that radiated off of you. The warmth and joy that used to be his to have and hold. It wasn’t until you were getting closer to him that he got a better look of who you were walking with, and Katsuki had never felt so furious in his life.

Standing next to you, one hand holding yours, was that damn Icy Hot bastard from high school. That smug asshole, Katsuki ought to have destroyed him even more in the UA Sports Festival. Out of all the people you could have replaced him with, you chose him?

Katsuki hadn’t realized that he needed to move until it was too late. You had spotted him, and the wonderful smile that had been lighting up your face was replaced by a look of shock. Katsuki watched as Shoto protectively pulled you closer to him, taking a step forward as if getting ready to shield you from Katsuki. He felt the rage boiling inside of him as he watched Shoto do what should have been his job. The roles should have been reversed.

“It’s okay, honey.” You put a soft hand onto your fiance’s shoulder, lightly rubbing it reassuringly. “I’m okay. It’s all in the past.”

Katsuki cannot stand it any longer. He couldn’t just stand there like a statue, being forced to watch you look at that stupid Half and Half bastard like how you used to look at him. But, no. That’s not the case at all. You looked…happier. You never looked at Katsuki like that, not like how you were looking at Shoto as if all your prayers had been answered and they were now in front of you.

“[Y/N], what’s going on?” Katsuki’s voice was now the one shaking, hands clenched, the smell of caramel wafting through the air, small smarks coming off his fists. You needed to defuse the situation, and fast.

“Bakugo, please don’t.” You said pleadingly, looking up at him with that familiar gaze of yours, the one that used to turn him into putty in your hands. Even after he hurt you, even after you found love once more, you still managed to look at him with no trace of hatred evident in your gaze.

“Why him?” He hated how his voice cracked, how he couldn’t unclench his fists, how the blunt nails dug deeper and deeper into his calloused palms. “Why?”

“I- I love him, Bakugo.” Shoto’s chest swelled with pride, practically beaming at your confession. But he also knew that even if you loved him, you still didn’t want to hurt Katsuki, no matter how much pain he had caused you before. Shoto gently wrapped an arm around you, slowly pulling you away from your ex.

“But I thought you love me.”

“I did. Once. But not like this, not anything like how I love Shoto.”

You were walking away now, away from your past, away from the pain, away from the memories. You were walking forward, towards your future, towards the endless possibilities that awaited you and your lover.

━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━

It was your two year anniversary with Shoto Todoroki, and the best day of your life.

You were practically glowing, the smile on both of your faces impossible to wipe off. Shoto had just finished saying his vows, and you were crying, much like how you were on your two year anniversary with someone else, but these tears were different. They were happy tears. God, you were so happy.

“Shoto Todoroki – where to begin?” You laughed through the tears. “What really started our relationship was a period of my life where I was…truly, just not doing my best. I was insecure and a crying mess, but you didn’t mind. Not at all. And nobody told you that you had to do this, but for some odd reason, you took it upon yourself to sweep up all the broken pieces of my heart, the messy remains someone else had left behind, and you…you glued them back together and made me feel whole again. So whenever I tell you that I love you, just know that I also mean thank you. Thank you for everything, for fixing me, to making me a better person, to making my life so much better every single day. I vow to never, ever make you suffer what I had to go through. I will love you until the day I stop breathing, and even then, I’ll find a way to continue on. Thank you, thank you so much.”

Your lips met his, and this was the kiss to end all other kisses, the kiss that made official what you had already known to be true for yourself: Shoto Todoroki was your happily ever after.

Sitting in the very back was Katsuki Bakugo, every word of your vow leaving him with another stinging pain he couldn’t quite numb himself to. He watched the way Shoto cupped your cheeks as you two kissed, watched as the moment you pulled apart, you were quick to give him another kiss, another fireworks worthy moment that made the whole entire crowd cheer and laugh and praise you two.

Someone had told him that if he still loved you, truly loved you, then seeing you happy would be enough.

But his selfishness, the same trait that caused this to happen, wanted him to be the one you wanted to spend your life with. Once upon a time, you had been happy with him, right?

He saw the biggest smile on your face, the type of smile he never gave you.

Oh.

Even if he had made you happy, Shoto Todoroki had made you the happiest you’ve ever been.

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arcticsakura · 4 years ago

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Name (Todoroki x Reader)

Todoroki x fem!Reader

Anon asked: “suggestion for Todoroki angst : he got in an arranged marriage with S/O because of his dad who offered a large amount of money to her family for this. Indeed it’s not what they are both looking for but Todoroki really acts cold, is sharp, openly criticizes her (a bit OOC ik) … S/O is hurt but is still trying to be a good wife around the house to make the best of the situation and hide her insecurities. It’s just an idea, if it does not inspire you I hope you will find something better!! xx

Genre: Angst. Just…angst. I’m so sorry in advance plz don’t hate me

Warnings: Grab your tissues, this is a long roller coaster that’s only going downhill OH GOD I’M SO SORRY

a/n: (Submission 1/3 for my post asking for todo angst ideas! Thanks for the ask anon!)

Um. This is…depressing. Really depressing and really intense. I didn’t expect it would turn out this way. But it did. I had 2 other endings, but I instinctively wrote this one. I actually had to stop and cry for a few minutes because it was just really painful I mean, I know I said I was ready to but I didn’t actually mEAn it

I tried a different style for this, but I think it suits the story well. It’s 3rd person limited because I wanted you to experience everyone’s feelings in this (gotta maximize on the angst yknow) and half past tense bc of reasons you’ll find out.

God I’m afraid to post this. Is it bad that I love it, I honestly spent so much time writing this, but it hurts sO mUch?? Y’all are gonna hate me, you’re gonna kill me, oh no, just read the thing already, I’m hiding.

Shoto didn’t know how to react to the news. It’s not that he had his eye on anyone in particular, or that he was even interested in marriage for that matter. But because he proposed it, the man who had spent his entire childhood controlling every aspect of his life, he refused to accept any other intrusions from the man he should call “father.”

The strange man across from his father spoke those words so casually. "So Endeavor, when are these two tying the knot?“

At first, he thought he had misheard or misunderstood. And then his father responded just as casually, “The date is set for next month.”

The normally calm and collected boy almost burst the entire room into flames. He clenched the silverware so hard his knuckles turned white and his teeth ground together, but he couldn’t say anything in front of his father’s guest and his daughter for fear of shaming himself. The girl across from him offered a sympathetic look, but he turned away, already preparing the earful he’s going to give his father.

“I want nothing to do with this!” he whirled on Endeavor as soon as they were home. "You’ve made my life a living hell controlling every single thing! And now you even want to control my marriage?!“

"I’m doing this for you!” Endeavor bellowed right back. "For the Todoroki name! For your future!“

"This is all for you! I want no part-!”

“If you don’t agree, you’ll never see your mother or the siblings again.”

The calm threat was enough to drench Shoto’s wrath into submissive fear. The flaming monster in front of him proved once again that he hasn’t an ounce of sympathy for his blood. He’s learned that family is the only thing keeping his son under his thumb and he still actively exploits that weakness.

All the boy can do is swallow and walk away, retreating to the outside world to escape his bitter reality even temporarily. Shoto doesn’t have outbursts often, but there are times when the straw finally breaks the camel’s back, and this is one of them. All he can do is run until he can’t run anymore, reaching somewhere secluded enough where he can burst out in flames and ice without hurting anyone, finally getting to a forest where he can do exactly that and scream to his heart’s content. It’s the only thing he can do that is under his own control.

In the month that followed up to the wedding, Shoto barely spoke a word to anyone, choosing to isolate himself. He only came out when he absolutely had to show his face at functions to the bride’s family and look presentable. His mind was always absent, the time flying in a blur of colors and white. Thankfully, his father did the preparations, so all he had to do was go along with everything. Shoto was simply playing a role in a play or movie, he was an actor who deserved an award for being in character for a month.

The night of the wedding, he and his newly-wedded wife were whisked away to their new home, being alone for the first time together. He didn’t even know what she looked like nor did he care. As soon as they walked through the door of their already-furnished house, he released a heavy breath, brushed past her, unbuttoned his tuxedo, and - cold as his ice quirk - instructed, “I’m going to bed. Don’t come up tonight.” It was the first time he had ever spoken directly to her.

His wife, through this entire ordeal, was patient with him. She didn’t want this arrangement either, but she figured they could at least talk and come to a mutual agreement. The entire month, she never pushed him to speak to her. She anticipated that he would be rational about this, as she was told by her family, and that they would be able to talk things over when they were finally alone. Just as she was going to speak her mind the way she had rehearsed it many times, he dismissed her. She was hurt, but she understood. He’s exhausted after a whole month of stress and preparations, she rationalized, He just wants to rest. I wouldn’t want to talk to a stranger after all that either.

Resolving to try again tomorrow morning, she undressed (with great difficulty), crept into the master bedroom for her clothes while Shoto showers, retrieved her pajamas quietly, and retreated back to the living room. The girl searched all the closets for a thick enough blanket and settles down to sleep on a couch, the exhaustion putting her right to sleep.

The next morning, the new Mrs. Todoroki woke up bright and early to make breakfast for her husband as an olive branch. She toiled away in the kitchen, somewhat making a racket even though she wanted to stay quiet so Shoto can sleep. Just as she finished setting the table and had to face the question of how to wake him, the boy padded down from the room.

“Oh, morning!” she smiled brightly at him.

He murmured a greeting back only to be polite, his face devoid of any real emotions other than coldness. He sat as far away from her a possible, thanking her for the meal halfheartedly and digging in without another word.

After waiting a few moments to let him satisfy his hunger, she cleared her throat. "So, um-“

"Your tamagoyaki needs more soy sauce and butter,” he stated bluntly.

She blinked at the harsh comment. It was shocking he said anything to her at all, and the first thing he said was an insult.

“And the miso has no flavor,” he continued in the same tone.

The girl finally gathered her wits. "I’ll do better tomorrow. Thanks for the feedback, I guess?“ she laughed nervously, trying to erase the immense tension Shoto bled into the atmosphere. When he didn’t respond, she tried again. "I know this isn’t something either of us wanted, but that doesn’t mean we have to live here like enemies. We could be friends, or even just roommates!”

“I’d rather be strangers,” he interjected harshly.

It felt like a stab in the heart. Here she was, trying to make their lives somewhat bearable together through their common misfortune, and all he wanted to do was live like ghosts in the same house.

Shoto placed his chopsticks down firmly, glaring her straight in the eyes with the iciest hatred she’s ever seen. "Just to be clear, I want no part of you. You live your life and I live mine. You can have the bedroom to sleep at night if you want, but it’s mine when I come home to shower and prepare for bed. We will not sleep, talk, or breathe near each other as long as we are in this house.“

She dipped her head in defeat, unable to bear the weight of his stare. "C-Can we at least have our meals together?” she asked feebly.

It’s something he respected, coming from family values no matter how broken. It’s the only exception he made to their less-than relationship.

Months passed and she kept her end of the bargain through a suffocating routine. At first, the girl was kind, trying to get him to open up to her somehow without overstepping her boundaries. She made excuses for him constantly. He’s just tired. The least I can do is leave him alone. I can’t comfort him anyway, I’m a stranger. He’s still upset about the whole thing, he’ll come around. She even begged her boss to let her leave a little early every day to make sure she had ample amount of time to get home, shower, and prepare dinner before Shoto returned. When he did, he wordlessly showered, sat down to dinner, nitpicked at her cooking, finished eating, and went to sleep on the living room couch, all without even sparing her a glance.

But as every day passed, she grew more weary and worn in her efforts to please him. She tried to fix every little complaint Shoto had about her cooking or the cleanliness of the house or the laundry, but nothing seemed to satisfy him. She tried to hold onto the silver lining. At least he never touched me wrong or took advantage of me, she would think bitterly. He has the decency not to take his anger out on me.

Then the dark thoughts closed in as he continued ignoring her. Surely, Shoto’s only disgusted with his father, he doesn’t harbor hatred for her personally. Then she would remember the hate and disgust in his mismatched eyes the first day of their marriage. She realized no matter how desperately she tried, he wouldn’t show her any signs of warmth or appreciation. No more did she try to make conversation with him during meals or greet him when he came home. There were days she thought, Why should I even try? He wouldn’t like it either way. What’s the point of getting up today? Maybe he’ll even criticize how I sleep. But she still rose out of bed every morning and carried out her routine because it could always be worse.

A sliver of hope came in the form of Shoto’s birthday. The girl figured if she did something just a little special, he would acknowledge her even the tiniest bit. She spent days beforehand researching and testing out the perfect cold soba recipe because she knew it was his favorite. She lit some candles on the table and bought a small cake for them to share.

When he came home, she was sure he would notice and say something, but he didn’t; he went straight up to the bathroom as he usually did without a word. Though she felt the glimmer lessen in her heart, she didn’t give up. For the first time in a while, she verbalized her thoughts to him.

“I made your favorite for your birthday!” she chirped as he sat down, setting the plate and a cup of dipping sauce in front of him. She was so eager for him to try it because she was confident she’d gotten it right this time. If she were a dog, her tail would’ve wagged in anticipation as he slurped the noodles into his mouth. She waited patiently for his feedback, leaning forward in excitement as he swallowed.

“The noodles are slightly overcooked. And the dipping sauce is too strong, you didn’t add enough water.”

Her hopes came crashing to a halt. She couldn’t even muster anything else to say as he hastily finished his dinner and rose to leave.

She stood up, heart hammering in her chest. "What about the cake?“ Anything, something!

"I don’t want it.” He turned his back to her.

“I got it for you!” It was the first time she explicitly stated her intentions, the first time she made herself vulnerable.

“You shouldn’t have gotten it at all. It was a waste of time. Why did you even try?” The calm and cold words stung her as he got up and left her in the dining room alone.

His words echoed against the empty walls of the dining room. She looked down at the cake he disregarded, feeling cold and dizzy. She took a shaky breath in and out before resting her head on the cold glass table to stabilize herself. The voice stabs through her even as she closed her eyes to block them out.

It was then she felt bluntly in her mind. He hates me.

The girl feels nothing but numbing cold, both on her face and inside. Rolling up to sit, her neck and back cry out in soreness from sleeping on the table, pale light greeting her from the nearby window. Her face feels strange, and she trudges to the bathroom mirror to check why. She knows she should be preparing for work, but what’s the point? Her reflection reveals lines across her cheek, probably from sleeping on the edge of the table. She shuffles to the kitchen because she should probably start breakfast, but why should she? Leaning against the counter, she can’t bring herself to move anywhere. Her brain buffers as she tries to force herself to think of what to do now. She doesn’t feel sick, but there’s a dull, cool feeling in her limbs that she can’t face.

The phone rings, catching her off guard. Glancing at the number, she doesn’t hesitate to answer. "Hello?“

"Hi, baby. It’s me.”

Her eyebrows relax, appreciating the sound of a familiar voice. "Hey, Mom. What’s up?“ She knows her voice sounds weak, she’s hoping the woman can’t hear it.

"I’m just checking in, you haven’t called in a while. Is something up? You don’t sound good.”

“I’m…fine,” she stumbles over the word. "How’s dad?“

"He’s doing well. You sure you’re not sick, sweetie?”

“I’m not.” She leans her back on the counter.

“Is Shoto there? How is he?”

And just like that, she feels something dislodge in her throat. "He’s going to work, he probably left early.“ She doesn’t know, there hasn’t been any rustling in the house.

Her mom is silent for a while. "Tell me the truth. What happened?”

The sound of her mother’s stern voice moves something in her chest. "It’s nothing, I just made a mistake.“

"Doing what?”

“I tried making Shoto’s favorite dish for his birthday yesterday. I put so much time and energy into perfecting it for him to enjoy it, but I fell short again.” She laughs bitterly, tears starting to fill her eyes. "He didn’t even want the cake I got for him, he said it was a waste. I shouldn’t have bothered with it.“ She blinks and a tear slides down her face. "I don’t know why I was expecting something different to happen, I’m so stupid.”

“Honey, where is this coming from? What’s going on?”

She wipes her face, but more spill out of her eyes as she slides down the cabinet onto the cold floor. "It’s just a little frustrating when you’re sharing a house with someone you’re married to and they barely acknowledge you. I mean, I expected there to be problems at first given the circumstances, but I didn’t expect this.“ Her voice shakes with every word. "God, what did I do to deserve this? I’ve lived in this house for 5 months, and never has he even said ‘thank you’ to me. Hasn’t breathed a word of appreciation to me. I do so much for him. I’ve bent over backwards for him just to make everything done the way he wants it, I’ve worked my entire routine, my entire life in this house to cater to him, but all he does is complain!” She sobs into the phone, curling up into a ball as tremors wrack through her body. "I’m just so tired. I don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve made so many excuses for him, but I just can’t do anything right. Why am I even still here?“

Her mother is silent on the other line. "My baby, if I knew this would happen, I wouldn’t have allowed this marriage. I can’t believe you’re going through this.”

The girl can’t formulate words or think anything coherent. She drops the phone out of her hand, wrapping her legs to her chest as the tremors continue in waves, muffled whimpers the only thing escaping her lips because she’s afraid to cry out loud despite being in an empty, lonely house.

Shoto heard something he probably shouldn’t have, but he definitely needed to hear. It bothered him for the rest of the day. It was a sobering slap in the face that made him feel shame and regret, a hard-to-swallow pill that sat in his stomach the entire day.

On his way back home, the sound of her sobs echoes in his mind. He curses his behavior from the past few months. At the very least, he made a lady cry, and at the most, he’s been a complete asshole. It’s all his fault, that is something he’s completely aware of and is ready to take full responsibility for. All this time, he was stupidly neglecting her out of spite for his father, but he broke her in the process. He’s angry that he had to hear her crying to realize that. The only thing he can do now is hurry home to profusely apologize for what he’s done and hope they can start over new and she forgives him, which he’s prepared for her not to do.

Honestly, he deserves all the hate from her that he’s shown her. After everything she’s done for him and all the effort she’s put into their imbalanced relationship, he wouldn’t be surprised if she yelled at him and called him all sorts of names.

Shoto walks through the door, the atmosphere different. The house is quiet as usual, but it’s more eerie than he remembers, as if that means anything with how aloof he was. He slips into the bedroom and changes quickly, returning back to the quiet dining room where his dinner waits for him at his place.

He tentatively sits and spares a quick glance at the girl who’s supposed to be his wife. Her eyes are still puffy and she’s tugging at her sleeves. It seems she’s avoiding him and he was avoiding her before. He questions how things should start. When is the right time to speak his piece. Would she listen to him now? He decides to take a bite first and chews slowly. I guess a ‘thank you’ is a good place to start-

“We’re getting a divorce.”

He stops suddenly, almost choking.

“You don’t owe me anything, and I don’t want anything from you.” She isn’t looking at him, voice calm and collected. "Besides, it’s better this way since it’s what you wanted.“ She rises from her seat smoothly. "I’ve already packed for the next few nights. I’ll have some workers come in the following weeks to clear out the rest, and the papers will be delivered promptly.” Her footsteps recede from the room.

Shoto turns around to call out to her, and his minds comes up blank.

He never even bothered to remember her name.

Sequel?

Sequel!

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arcticsakura · 5 years ago

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arrhythmia - todoroki shouto

warnings/fictags: mentions of trauma/todoroki’s childhood, angst, mutual pining, friends to lovers, dekusquad friendship + izuocha scheming, shinso hitoshi is a good friend etc etc., aged up to third years but this is sfw, touch starved todoroki, todoroki being very vulnerable etc. (might be ooc to yall but hear me out jhskj)

length: 10.7k (im literally insane why do i do this)

a/n: mr todorki has been on my mind a lot recently. i love bnha and horikoshi but the way he handles the hardships the characters face rlly bugs me sometimes. especially for the big 3.

personally, i think todoroki is an incredibly emotional person. growing up how he did though he probably doesn’t know how to identify specific emotions and compartmentalizes things. he does most things without thinking, really only listening to himself for guidance.

i really believe falling in love would scare this man to death. any love that todoroki had experienced in his up-bringing has always brought consquence so this fic was written as way for me to explore how he copes with his feelings and how he understands them.

not being able to distinguish love as an emotion just felt right to me so i wrote it. i think it’s a side of todoroki that i wanted to see more. i hope you enjoy it anyways.

also italics is flashback!!

edit: i cant believe i forgot to tag this as my submission for @bunnywritesbnha 700 follower fic. im so dumb holy fuck. this was inspired by the prompt “quiver”

plot: todoroki knows the sound of a beating heart better than anything in the world. you always make his heart go so fast, he feels like it’s not there anymore. can you blame him for chasing the feeling really?

or ; you’re todorokis lovely classmare who he can’t help but pine for endlessly

The sound of the beating heart is always the same. A simply drumming beat, soft against the rib cage, repetitive. Badump, Badump, Badump.

It’s simple and familiar. Even though everyone knows it, listening to it brings comfort. A sign of living is the rhythm in a heartbeat - how fast or how slow, how loud or how quiet. You grow accustomed to the sounds as you get older. The language is uncomplicated and natural to learn.

For Shouto Todoroki, he’s never had much to rely on other than his heartbeat. It was something like a lighthouse - a shining beacon that brought him back down to earth, whether he wanted it or not. Familiar sounds raise his heartbeat while other ones lower it, and it all goes back to when he was little. Most things in his life end up that way, more than he likes to admit. Todoroki doesn’t know how to do anything but push through, to endure, to bear things until it no longer effects him

So it feels weak that his trauma still does. He hates calling it trauma. The abuse that he suffered at the hands of his father are nothing short of that, but at the end of the road - he still hates it. He hates calling himself a survivor. He doesn’t want to be known as the boy who survived. That’s why his scars have always felt so ugly to him. It’s a reminder that his life now is merely sheer circumstance. That’s why his vengeance is so menacing when it appears.

It would be a lie to say he didn’t adopt any habits from his life back then. The only thing that had ever been consistent, and the only thing Todoroki could ever rely on was his heartbeat. Badump, Badump, Badump. That’s the sound of a resting heartbeat. As a kid, it was knowing that much that guided him through everything. If that’s what a resting heartbeat sounds like, then he wonders what a sad one does.

When Todoroki is hurting mentally, his heartbeat is slower. The steady, mid-pace rhythm shortens, and the sound is drawn out in the middle more than usual. Ba-dump, Ba-dump, Ba-dump. Todoroki grew familiar with that beat when his mothers stopped being around.

Joy has the same rhythm as pain. Maybe that’s why Todoroki never felt like it mattered which he experienced. When he was hurting, or scared - his heart would speed by a few beats. Still consistent but knocking against his chest-plate, leaping into his throat. He can’t really tell the difference between joy and pain because of it. In the rare instances that Todoroki can recall feeling joy and happiness - he can only recall that blooming anxiety the followed. Anxiety blooms the same pounding heartbeat that pain does,

He doesn’t know any better than that. He relies on the sound of his heart for most things. A physical reaction is the only thing he knows he can count on. People are too fickle, his mind and emotions are too unstable, and Todoroki himself only knows how to reach mountains and not what it means to climb them.

He wants to be a hero. The greatest one he can be. He knows how to work hard, and that he was to do that to be who he wants.

But beyond that dream, Todoroki doesn’t know about himself very much at all. His identity is in fragments, shattered to pieces by a name he despises and a family whose embrace is as distant as the look in their eyes.

Of all the emotions Todorokis heartbeat have taught him - sorrow, pain, loneliness and like-wise, there are few things that catch him by surprise. He knows most things well, he thinks.

You are an enigma, in that sense. A completely unknown factor that makes Todoroki feel something different. Something he doesn’t know yet.

Keep reading

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