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How to regress when you’ve literally never done it and you have no idea what to expect (or it’s been a while)
*turns around in chair like Captain America* so ……. you wanna be tiny.
Awesome! :D
Voluntary regression, when done intentionally, can be immensely fun and healing. Let’s get you set up for success.
Step 1: Set Your Goals
Your goal should never be “to regress” - it may not happen. You may spend all of your time just age dreaming (acting small with your big brain still in). You need to be okay with that.
The reason you’re regressing isn’t the same as your goal. “Because I’m traumatized,” “for fun,” and “for chronic pain” are all valid reasons, but they don’t provide you with the framework for healing that we’re looking for.
Here are some specific, achievable goals:
“I want to relax and have uninterrupted fun after a long day.”
“I want to reparent my inner child through affirmation work, gentle parenting, and rules for self-care.”
“I want to work through trauma I’ve experienced through play so I can experiment with new outcomes for tough situations.”
“I want to complete easy tasks/assignments to give myself a sense of pride and accomplishment.”
“I want to allow myself to trust and be cared for in a way that I am usually resistant to.”
“I want to allow Jesus to speak to me when I feel most vulnerable and receptive to His kindness.”
“I want to improve my self/care habits by making them fun and digestible.”
“I want to revisit childhood/deep-rooted fears so I can work through them with effective coping mechanisms, like journaling.”
Step 2: Selecting Your Tools
Here, you might have seen lists of things that people like to use when they’re little, but rarely do they explain why they like to use them. These lists also may not resonate with older or alternative regressors.
So instead, I will give you categories of things that I believe are relevant to regression, and you fill decide what satisfies it best for you.
Something to wear: do you have clothing that is easy and comfortable to move around in, makes you feel good to wear, and/or gives you sensory input you crave?
Something to watch: do you know of a show, movie, or YouTube channel that holds good memories for you? Is there one out there that piques your interest? It doesn’t have to be “kid-friendly,” but its effect should be comfort and peace, not intellectual or emotional strain. We are not looking for challenge - that is for developing your grownup brain. Many regressors prefer kids media for this reason.
Something to do (with your hands): Stimulating senses other than sight is vital for grounding, especially in today’s online world … and, considering the nature of the work we are doing, you may need it. Painting, sensory sand, going to the beach, swimming, making music, woodworking, crocheting, polymer clay, diamond painting, puzzles, coloring books, and more can all bring out your inner child. Again, we are looking for joy, not challenge; perhaps your local dollar store has a craft kit!
Something to read: are you a scientist who loves learning about animals? A horror fan who loves spooky tales? Do you remember a series from your childhood that brought you joy? Reading is a great way to escape into a simpler world and evade screens, especially if it’s crafted without profanity or triggering subjects. Children’s books may also minister to you in ways that adults failed, such as teaching emotional regulation, socialization, and how to fight common fears.
Something to hold: plushies have been proven to be beneficial for mental health, but a companion doesn’t have to be stuffed! Action figures, dolls, and other friends can be thrifted, bought, or dug up from closets. They provide sounding boards for scary thoughts that get less scary when said aloud, companionship during play, travel, or sleep, and serve as willing recipients of your creative outputs (bracelets, clothing, drawings, etc). And, when you need a hug, your favorite toy can be right there with you in the absence of a human friend.
Something to nibble: food is fuel for the body, but it is also love. Choose foods that are nutritious and fun, just like you’d give a child. My personal faves are Slim Jim’s, pepperoni, berries, nuts, dairy, and veggies with dip. Treats are great too, but spend your tummy bank on nutritionally valuable food first! Regressors also find fun in experimenting with different vessels for food and drinks, like crazy straws, bottles, ZooPals plates, or character dining sets.
Something to play with: ‘play’ has many definitions and types. Below is a short list of types of play. No matter if you like toys or not, gather objects or activities that encourage play.
Symbolic play - using one object to represent another (i.e. a flower becomes a wand - try blocks or play scarves)
Locomotor play - moving play (try roller skates, online exercises/dance classes, or small exercise trampolines)
Creative play - invoking a desired or experimental outcome (try Legos and art supplies)
Deep play and rough-and-tumble play - play that involves bodily risk and movement (try hiking, rock climbing, or swimming)
Dramatic play - orchestrating play without personal involvement (“setting up” elaborate scenes with toys was a big part of my childhood play! Try small toys and accessories like Calico Critters, stuffed animals, or dolls)
Exploratory play - play to gain information (try boxed or homemade science experiments, or simply asking, “I wonder what happens if I …?”)
Fantasy and imaginative play - playing in a way that is unlikely to occur in real life and/or the rules have changed (try dressing up to be a superhero, royalty, animal, etc)
Mastery play - bringing a task to completion (build a campfire, dig holes in sand to fill with water, complete a video game level, etc)
Object play - manipulating objects to learn more about them (common in developing babies and autistic stimming; try fidget toys)
Socio-dramatic play - taking on a role that involves social interaction (I.e. playing house or doctor)
Somewhere to go: novelty can be hugely effective in delighting your inner child. Try hanging out in the backyard, going to a park/museum/aquarium, taking yourself on a “little” shopping spree with a set budget, going to a theme park/state fair, or checking out kids media from your local library. Since you are exiting your safe space, you must be mindful of those around you. This is why I usually recommend this to those who know they will only be age dreaming, unless they are completely alone. For your safety, please do not involve anyone who has not consented in your regression.
Something to see: if you can, decorate your safe space or a portion of your safe space in a way that makes your inner child happy. Try changing your phone wallpaper, collecting figures, displaying stuffies on your bed, putting up wall stickers or drawings you’ve made, or changing your bed sheets.
A note on pacifiers: pacis made for adults are a great way to abate thumb-sucking and unhealthy oral stims. They will shift your teeth only if you use them excessively; try limiting use to an hour at a time, and always wear your retainer if you have one. If you feel pain, stop. Disassemble and clean immediately after use.
A note on diapers: I personally do not use diapers because I don’t want or need them, but should you choose differently, there are lots of creators who have more information on them. Most importantly, they are not shameful.
Step 3: Meeting Your Inner Child
How do you know when you’ve regressed?
When play takes over.
When you find yourself fully engaged in what’s in front of you, finding captivation in the simplest things, you are regressed. It isn’t some magical transformation - you’re just revising a part of you that has always been there, latent. It is an unlocking of childhood whimsy … a state of being easily awed.
Thoughts may simplify; adult reasoning for comfort objects may reduce to a petulant mine. Anxious spirals may be replaced by a simple mama, I’m scared. Thoughtful analyses of character arcs and subplots may sound more like yay, ponies!
If you have an internal monologue, it may disappear, replaced with more primal emotions like “angry” or “scared” or “happy” or “calm.” There have been many times that my husband has asked little me what’s wrong, but instead of words, only sobs make it out of my mouth. Then, when he holds me, a warmth I can’t name fills my chest and makes me sleepy.
What is your inner child like? Are they more or less …
Sensitive?
Chatty?
Energetic?
Creative?
Impulsive?
Experimental?
Outspoken?
Stubborn?
Relaxed?
Giggly?
Curious?
Focused?
Defiant?
Angry?
Expressive?
Your inner child, like all children, is subject to fits and flights of fancy. This is normal! Love them as you would love a normal child.
Step Four: Caring For The Bunchkin
Since our goal is not to regress, we have the freedom to take a third-person point of view while we are in our safe space, check in on ourselves, and see how we are doing.
If your goal is to heal, take things slow. Choose one activity at a time that allows you to explore your deeper thoughts, and allow ample room for fun and relaxation.
Instead of focusing on your trauma and hurt, start by asking yourself - “what are my deepest desires? What am I lacking? What is important to me? What can I give myself that I did not receive?”
Kids’ “About Me” worksheets are a great place to start, since there are no wrong answers. As you get more comfortable being small, try making or completing worksheets that ask the weightier questions.
Caring for with your inner child can be as simple as imagining them like another person. For example:
If you are shameful of your desire to connect with an old fandom, ask yourself why that might be. Did someone tell you that it was shameful? Did you have a bad experience in that fandom? Were you at a turbulent point of your life? What might you say to a child experiencing these emotions now?
If you are reluctant to make noise or take up space, ask yourself why. Did someone tell you that you were ‘too much?’ Were you afraid to be judged? Did someone punish you for getting in their way? What would you say to a child afraid to take up space in your presence?
If you are distressed at the idea of stimming openly while small, ask yourself why. Did someone - or life experience - teach you to mask? Are you afraid of being judged as a “faker?” Are you afraid of looking or feeling incapable in some way? What would you say to a child who is afraid to stim?
If you are upset with yourself for reacting to a trigger, ask yourself why. Do you feel like you should be more healed, or more in control of yourself? Are you afraid of slipping back towards a state you used to be in? Are you afraid of re-experiencing trauma?
What would you say and do for a child who struggles with a trigger?
Showing your little self compassion and modeling joy from an adult headspace is vital. Don’t say anything to your inner child that you wouldn’t say to an actual child.
You may not be quite ready to believe the healing truths you have learned when you are big, but putting them into practice when you are small is a great way to soothe yourself from the inside out.
(I filled up my star chart by making my bed each day! Good job, me! I worked so hard, and now I get a treat!)
(I did a drawing all by myself! I can put it on my fridge now. Wow, I’m so glad I made something today.)
(I went outside, and there are so many cool things to see! What an awesome world I live in.)
Healing can be tough, but it’s so fantastic. It all starts with being kind to yourself. You can do it!
Step 5 - Putting Out Fires
Oh dear, something went wrong, and now a tantrum is afoot. Or a meltdown. Or a flashback. What do we do?
Hold up your fingers like birthday candles and blow them out to encourage deep breathing.
Play a song that makes you feel good, and dance if you can. Physical movement is your best antidote.
Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste.
Repeat your affirmations aloud. There is power in hearing something that isn’t your own mental hurricane. “I am loved, I am safe, I am going to be okay.”
Assign the trigger to a stuffie (don’t worry, they are willing participants!). Say, “hey, wait a minute, why should you be in charge? These are MY thoughts! Take that! And that! And that!” Toss your stuffie around and get those crazy thoughts away from both of you!
Assign the trigger to a stuffie, and pretend they are you. What would you say to calm them down and tell them you are here for them?
Get a change of scenery. Go outside, go somewhere else, take a shower or bubble bath.
Scribble your feelings on paper. No, really, go ham. Break some crayons. Then crumple them, tear them, and throw them away.
Most importantly - don’t be mad at yourself.
The debrief - what can we do for next time?
Handle triggers with care, but don’t be afraid of the feelings that accompany them. There is an unmet need somewhere in your soul - what is it, and how can you meet it?
Journaling and affirmations - record what happened and why you think it happened, and then write kind things to and about yourself.
“Do it scared” - push past the lies you have been told about yourself and enjoy things anyway.
I am a Christian, and I live by the phrase: “if it isn’t your reality, make it your prayer.” Even if you don’t believe now that you are safe, loved, and capable, saying these things to yourself constantly will help them be realized.
Obviously, avoiding negative language about yourself in your adult life is the other half of the pizza. Your inner child is doing work for adult you, too! Don’t undermine it!
The Wrap Up
Well, Kiddo, I’m so glad you’re taking this step in your healing journey. A few things to remember before you go:
You may grow out of regression! That’s good! It’s a sign that your inner child is happy and content.
You may never grow out of regression. That’s okay! Your inner child can get love all your life!
Your regression is your business. You don’t have to tell anyone about it if you don’t want to. Choose who you tell very carefully.
Ignore the haters. You’re doing great.
Bye, Kiddo! You are so loved!! 🥰
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🎒 Basic Gear for Agere, Petre, and Caregiving
Gear for Littles (Agere)
Stuffed animals / plushies Sippy cups or juice boxes Coloring books & crayons Blankets or weighted blankets Pacifiers / teethers (Especially if younger) Storybooks / picture books Cute pajamas or onesies Stickers / reward charts Cartoons / comfort shows access Sensory/fidget toys Soft music or lullabies Little-friendly snacks
Gear for Pet Regressors (Petre)
Ears / tail clips or headbands Collars / name tags Pet bed or blanket spot Balls / rope toys / plushies Treat jars or snack bowls Paw gloves or mittens Chew toys / chew-safe necklaces (aka chewelry) Scented toys or blankets Praise chart / obedience tokens Cute themed clothes (puppy shirt, etc.) Soft sounds / animal noises (Ambience)
❤️ Gear for Caregivers
Planner / routine tracker Activity kits (coloring, crafts) First aid / comfort bag Stuffie “doctor” kit Reminder alarms / sticky notes Reward chart / sticker sheets Calming playlist Healthy snacks / sippies “Caregiver voice” practice Personal journal or notes (Log preferences, triggers, favorite things) Extra Dips if your little uses them!! they should be able to put them on themselves, but make sure you have extras with you in case of emergency.
Show Suggestions
Bluey Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood Peppa Pig My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Sesame Street Pocoyo Masha and the Bear Llama Llama Franklin VeggieTales ANYTHING THAT COMFORTS THEM!
For Pet regressors:
Puppy Dog Pals 44 Cats Octonauts The Secret Life of Pets Kipper the Dog Clifford the Big Red Dog Aristocats Paw Patrol Blue’s Clues Wishbone
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Fun Add-Ons for an Age Regression Journal
Hyper fixation pages!
Educational animal pages of your favorite animals / your pets
Aesthetic throw up pages (drawings or pictures of your favorite / personal aesthetic)
Word throw up pages (any word that comes to mind write it down, could also be song lyrics or quotes)
Watchlist (movies or shows)
Most played songs and how they make you feel
Affirmation pages
Quote pages
Outfit collage (draw an outline of your body and hair and make cutout clothes to layer on top)
Favorite character pages
Design your dream room / house
Design your dream outfits / toys / gear
Write about places you want to go and information about the culture
Wishlist's
Play time pages (cafe menus, what your store sells, a list of things to check if you play doctor, etc.)
Craft ideas, to-do lists, etc.
Vents or rants
Food / drink recipes
Popup pages / interactive pages
Emotional Outlet Pages
Dreams and nightmares
Write about your day / memories
To-do lists and planning for the day, week, month, and / or year (kind of like a vision board)
Fictional character dump (can be OC's or otherwise. Write everything you know about them canonically)
Fictional characters as regressors / caregivers
Stuffie Pages (resumes, about me's, doctor notes, birth certificates, etc.)
Things that scare you (and how to cope or draw it and make it fun...turn a fire alarm into a confetti alarm or a spider into a cat with eight legs...)
Religion specific pages
Game info (your characters backstory, coordinates for important materials, etc.)
Texture Pages (add ribbon, lace, poke holes, stickers, flowers, etc.)
Paper dollhouse (draw rooms and cut out furniture and have a 2d dollhouse)
Agere concepts
Life related info (appointments coming up with an affirmation next to it; a job with a to-do list on a cat sticky note)
Medical info with cute stickers around it
A list of all your favorite things (weather, scent, finger, animal, place, book, word, flower, rock, earth layer, candle, etc)
Will update
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POV: You're a Watcher checking out who the new winner is
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Fun Add-Ons for an Age Regression Journal
Hyper fixation pages!
Educational animal pages of your favorite animals / your pets
Aesthetic throw up pages (drawings or pictures of your favorite / personal aesthetic)
Word throw up pages (any word that comes to mind write it down, could also be song lyrics or quotes)
Watchlist (movies or shows)
Most played songs and how they make you feel
Affirmation pages
Quote pages
Outfit collage (draw an outline of your body and hair and make cutout clothes to layer on top)
Favorite character pages
Design your dream room / house
Design your dream outfits / toys / gear
Write about places you want to go and information about the culture
Wishlist's
Play time pages (cafe menus, what your store sells, a list of things to check if you play doctor, etc.)
Craft ideas, to-do lists, etc.
Vents or rants
Food / drink recipes
Popup pages / interactive pages
Emotional Outlet Pages
Dreams and nightmares
Write about your day / memories
To-do lists and planning for the day, week, month, and / or year
Will update
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hey i see some of you with AI generated profile pictures and banners. stop doing that. i’m not even gonna be cutesy about it, it’s gross and should be frowned upon in this community. change them now. you know who you are.
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tips to caring for littles who suffer from:
emotional dysregulation, hyper empathy,
and harsh moodswings !!
• develop grounding techniques to bring your little back to earth when they spiral. (breathing exercises, hand squeezing, observation games, etc.)
• remind them that what they're feeling is only big right now, and will pass.
• offer reassurance and spend time with them. Do not get angry if your little is easily upset or agitated.
• if the source of the moodswing or dysregulation is removable, try to get your little or the cause away from the other.
• find distractions to help your baby cope. (tv, games, toys, coloring, etc.)
• offer to talk with them about their big feelings and / or listen.
• if they're comfortable with it, take over bigger tasks and set down rules to prevent harm. (Ex: earlier bedtimes, no exceptions.)
• show love towards your little, and communicate your feelings aswell.
• encourage your little to be open about their moodswings the moment they have them. Preventing further damage or fear for both parties.
• if your little is experiencing hyper empathy towards another party, assure them they're a good person for feeling on the other's behalf, but remind them that they're their own person.
• if your little is neglecting themselves for others, step in and stop them from doing so if safe.
As someone who experiences big emotions very quickly, and has symptoms of hyper empathy as well as bpd. I have a hard time distinguishing my emotions, I hope this post helps others like me ^^ feel free to add your own tips on!
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you are still a valid caregiver if... 💛🧺
you are still a valid caregiver if you became a caregiver because someone you love regresses.
you are still a valid caregiver if you are still learning about your little and how to care for them properly.
you are still a valid caregiver if you don't fully understand how regression works.
you are still a valid caregiver if you are learning how to care for someone else while also learning how to care for yourself.
you are still a valid caregiver if you don't go into a carer headspace.
you are still a valid caregiver if you have mental illnesses.
you are still a valid caregiver if you are neurodivergent.
you are still a valid caregiver if you don't fit the stereotypical parenting role.
you are still a vlid caregiver if you have more of an older sibling or friend role.
you are still a valid caregiver if you feel tired, stressed, or burnt out.
you are still a valid caregiver if you regress.
you are still a valid caregiver if you are in a relationship.
you are still a valid caregiver if you aren't in a relationship.
you are still a valid caregiver if you are shorter or smaller than your little.
you are still a valid caregiver if caring helps you cope with your own trauma.
you are needed and you deserve love too. thank you for all you do! 💛
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My Guide to Chasing away the Sads
(TW: Depression, mentions of SH and ED)
Nest. Moving around takes energy but boredom is not your friend. Gather everything you’re going to want or need, and settle comfortably.
Have a sweet treat. I have a major sweet tooth, and dessert always manages to cheer me up. Indulge yourself!
If you don’t have the energy for anything I else, then it’s perfectly okay to scroll through social media or watch TV. However, if you feel up to engaging with your hobbies, I would recommend them over idle content, as they are more efficient in cheering up.
If you are more inclined to watch something, though, I recommend having a YouTube playlist dedicated to things that make you laugh. Shorts from comedians, animal videos, TikTok compilations, fandom animatics—absolutely anything.
Rewatch comfort shows and movies as well!
Learn something new. It’s so easy to fall into boredom and shame, but learning something new is a great and productive distraction. With YouTube and internet articles, it’s something you can do from bed too. I love researching my hyperfocuses, since they are a sure fire way to get the dopamine flowing again.
Make a vent work, such as fic, art, diary entry, or just an imagined story line. I do this all the time, just as a way to outlet and process my thoughts. There is something so therapeutic about it. To me, there is something incredibly therapeutic about personifying depression, watching a character who embodies myself work through trauma, etc
Talk to friends or family. Whether it’s for a distraction or support; talking to others is really important for mental health.
Just let yourself feel it. It’s okay if your regression is impure; there’s nothing wrong with processing and feeling your emotions. If you need to cry, have a tantrum—whatever. You are a strong and wonderful person, even when having negative emotions.
Just remember to take care of yourself during this time; even if you are feeling at your worst, you deserve love and kindness. Eat properly, drink enough water, sleep, etc.
If you are struggling with SH or an ED which are triggered during this time, it’s especially important to take care of yourself. You don’t deserve to hurt. You are worthy of love. Let that love start with loving yourself and keeping up with the body you’re in.
It’s the most overused line ever; but you aren’t alone. We have such an amazing community here, filled with people who experience a lot of the same things: regression, trauma, depression, anxiety, queerness, and so much more. You are strong and capable, and I’m so proud of you for making it this far. I love you and I’m sending you so many hugs and much encouragement your way. You got this, friend, and I’m here for you!!!
Love, Marty 💗
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Sometimes being a regressor is playing games on my computer.
Sometimes being a regressor is laying in bed watching shows / movies.
Sometimes being a regressor is staring at my plate wishing it was already empty.
Sometimes being a regressor is being outside and playing with my dogs.
Sometimes being a regressor is being so sad on the inside it is hard to move.
Sometimes being a regressor is going to the park even when I'm 'too old'.
Sometimes being a regressor is staring at a toy I want so bad but not being able to get it.
Sometimes being a regressor is colorful band aids and a sweet treat after a fall.
Sometimes being a regressor is being scared of monsters that aren't there.
Sometimes being a regressor is crying from the physical pain doctors won't diagnose.
Sometimes being a regressor is blue and green.
Sometimes being a regressor is black and white.
Sometimes being a regressor is pink and yellow.
Sometimes being a regressor is just fine.
But other times...
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WIP (And there are no firearms currently!)
I was so proud until I realized it’s still a very much so work in progress and it’s only 14 seconds in 😔 BUT TRUUUSSSSSST IM COOKING
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