arlerts-ocean

[arlerts-ocean]

🌊🐚 ragako 🐚🌊

🚫manga spoilers: ch.126🚫

“were you really gonna do that?”

armin glanced to his right, eyeing his friend warily. “…yeah.”

connie scoffed. “idiot. suicidal idiot.”

“you were going to kill falco,” armin said, a little bite in his tone that connie clenched his jaw at. “i couldn’t let that happen.”

“my mom, armin—”

“i know!” he exclaimed in exasperation, eyes wide. “that’s why i did it!”

“oh, fuck you,” connie spat, curling his knees tighter to his chest. “fuck you for pretending to care about everyone so badly to cover up your own goddamned self-loathing.”

it was quiet for a moment. armin could feel the kids’ eyes on them from across the way, could sense how unsure they were of the argument. but armin had argued enough for one day, was already worn out from yelling at mikasa earlier and didn’t have any fight left in him. “…i’m sorry,” he muttered.

“suicidal idiot,” connie repeated. “if you want to save my mom so badly, just do it. see if i care.” a few seconds passed; armin didn’t make a single movement, eyes trained at the dirt at his feet.

it was a few more seconds before anyone spoke. “don’t actually do that,” connie finally said. “i didn’t mean it.”

“i know,” armin replied quietly, picking at his cuticle.

“armin.”

“hm?”

“do you… think there’s a way to bring her back?”

his face hardened. “i don’t know.”

“damn it, armin, you have to know,” connie said desperately. “you always know, you know everything, it’s what you do—”

“i’ve never been so lost before,” armin interjected, feeling his throat constrict. “everything is so overwhelming. i feel like my whole world is falling apart, like everything i’ve ever known is slipping away from me. eren first, and… and now mikasa, and i feel like i have nothing left and i have no idea what to do. i don’t know.”

connie looked to his left, eyebrows furrowing. “hey…”

“maybe i am a stupid, reckless bastard,” armin went on. “it’s always been who i am. i don’t come up with plans, i just throw myself into every sign of danger and hope people come out alive and i don’t deserve to still be walking this earth while people like your mother have to suffer in agony by no choice of their own.”

connie looked back down at the grass, picking at a few blades and murmuring his words so softly that armin barely heard him. “mom would’ve suffered more if she became the colossal.”

“what?”

“bringing her back would be to curse her to a life she never asked for, to shove her into the middle of a war for her life. whether it was your titan or the jaw… i was being selfish,” he admitted. “at least like this, she’s… mindless. peaceful.”

armin felt his fists clench when connie sniffled, a sign that it was affecting him more than he let on. and it lit a fire in him, a flame that had been extinguished the moment eren activated the rumbling. maybe the fire had been out long before that, actually. armin couldn’t tell anymore.

“we’ll find a way, connie,” he assured. “someday. i swear it.”

and connie nodded, swallowing his tears. “i hope you’re right, armin.”

and armin grinned softly, punching connie in the arm. “of course i am. have i been wrong before?”

[arlerts-ocean]

🌊🐚 forever home 🐚🌊

armin sneaking away from his lover for hours every day. he tries to time it so that she doesn’t notice, but he wouldn’t have fallen so deeply in love with her if she weren’t as sharp as a tack—so she notices. she notices early on, but she trusts him. she doesn’t say anything, not for weeks, for months, not a word for the two years the love of her life has been disappearing in the morning and slipping back into her bed at night.

armin racing as fast as he can to the nearest shore every morning. they didn’t live on paradis anymore, he and his lover, and he was thankful that they managed to settle in a town that wasn’t too far from the edge of the land. it meant the trip wouldn’t be too bothersome.

armin employing everyone he knows to help him. some of them are happy to help out. others… he has to remind them that even if the war is over, they’re still under his command, and they reluctantly give in. connie is the most enthusiastic. he always had been when it came to armin and his fiancée; even back in the days of training, connie was sure that they’d end up together. he liked to boast that he was right.

armin getting back home with blisters on his hands, his cuticles dry, splinters tearing into his fingers. and he touches his lover with those hands, and she notices. in all the years she’d known him, his hands were always so soft, so delicate, so supple as they trailed across her skin. but now, though he was still just as gentle as ever, she could feel the way his palms brushed over her like sandpaper, calloused and rough. and she brought it up once, just a few months into his regular absences, and he brushed it off. she had frowned, but it was at least a comfort to her that he was doing something with his time instead of someone.

armin hyperventilating at least twice a week worrying it won’t be enough for her. he was guilty as charged of spoiling her; it started with him needing to prove himself worthy of her, but as the years went on… he just liked to see the way her eyes would light up at the little things he did for her. this, though… this was a big thing. so much time, so much work, he needed it to be perfect—needed her to think so, too.

armin swiping the last bits of dust off of his hands as he steps back and admires the handiwork of all his former comrades. “you think she’ll like it?” he asks jean, who had just finished setting the final details into place.

armin wincing when jean smacks the back of his head. “she likes you, loser,” jean says with a smirk as he chews on a piece of grass. “i don’t think her bar is set very high. quit worrying.” and armin knows behind the teasing remark that jean means well, that he really is probably worried over nothing. he turns his head to the left, looks out at the endless expanse of water that neighbors him, and he smiles.

armin kissing his lover that night when he gets home, and she’s surprised at how much energy he has at such a late hour. but all armin does when she questions him is invite her to the ocean the next day, tempts her with the knowledge that her friends will be there, too, and she can’t tell him no, not when his eyes are twinkling with the familiar depths of the sea she’d come to know. after all, it had been a long time since he’d taken her. years, probably. it was about time.

armin doing his best the next morning to not physically drag his lover to the ocean. she’s laughing at the way he’s bouncing off the walls, hasn’t seen him this excited since the day he asked her to marry him a few years ago, and she’s nearly expecting him to re-propose with how long it was taking him to methodically plan their wedding down to the second.

armin beaming when they get to the edge of the shore, watching the way her eyes tremble with confusion, the way she lets out a nervous chuckle and glances between him and the ocean and the little wooden house that now sat just before the sand line, small and quaint. armin grins at her, squeezes her hand, and looks painfully nervous when he asks, “do you like it?”

armin holding his breath when she goes speechless for a moment, nodding hesitantly when she asks if this is for her, if this is what he’d been doing for two years, if he’d really built the house he’d always promised he’d settle down with her in. and then she’s kissing him, no explanation needed, and armin wipes the little tears that form at her eyes as she smiles at him and whispers, “it’s beautiful.”

armin lazing away a week later as his lover rubs lotion on his hands. he sits at the foot of his new bed, watching the way she massages years of effort away overnight. and she thanks him once again, just as she’d done a hundred times by now, and armin turns his head to the right and looks out his window at the horizon that stretches on and on, the setting sun reflecting off of the water like little crystals, and armin thinks… this is peace.

[arlerts-ocean]

welcome to arlert’s ocean 🌊

i’m ally, 23. i usually just post little armin drabbles that i think up on the spot. because he’s my golden boy.

feel free to request a little somethin-somethin! i’ll pretty much write anything under the sun so long as it involves him. he is genuinely the easiest character i have ever written for, which is why i made a whole blog dedicated to him :)

if you’re not interested in requesting, this blog is also open to just random thoughts and appreciations for armin. now that s4p2 of the anime is airing, i feel like us armin lovers are going to have a lot to say in the coming episodes!! feel free to get anything off your chest regarding armin, the anime, or the manga, or you can ask for my opinion on armin or certain events in the story!

do keep in mind that this blog will remain relatively spoiler-free for any manga content that the anime has not caught up with (manga spoilers that i do write when i just can’t help it will be clearly marked with the chapter involved). i’ve finished the manga so feel free to chat about it with me, but try to keep any big spoilers vague to respect those visiting the ocean who may not have read it yet.

thank you. enjoy your visit to the ocean! 🐚

[arlerts-ocean]

🌊🐚 legacy 🐚🌊

after everything ended, after he had restored peace, armin finally sat down and started thinking about his future.

he hadn’t really thought about it until now. he thought that even if he’d made it as far as he could, he wouldn’t even make it to thirty. it was fruitless to plan ahead if he couldn’t even see past another decade.

but he’d done it, had united eldians with the rest of the world, no matter how much it’d cost him, and as he sat down for drinks with reiner a few years later, it was reiner who popped the question:

“you ever think about having kids?”

armin hadn’t. it was the last thing he wanted to do, really; there was no joy in bringing life into such a cruel world… until, he realized, now.

he looked over at reiner. “maybe,” he said, swirling his drink around in his hand. “you?”

and reiner nodded, went on about how all he ever wanted was normality, how he was far too broken to be a parent but that he needed to know that the next generation would be okay. he needed living proof of it.

armin smiled lightly at his explanation. “ever thought about what you’d name it?” reiner’s face went blank. “if you did have one, i mean.”

reiner narrowed his eyes at the floor, taking a little sip of his drink. “marcel,” he said flatly. didn’t go on, didn’t elaborate. but armin knew why. reiner had shared a while ago what that day had done to him, how it had affected him.

but before the silence could grow too deafening, reiner chortled. “what would you name yours? eren?”

armin found himself frowning. jean had made the same joke years ago, that armin was so obsessed with his best friend that he’d do anything for his memory to live on. he hated the thought of it, thought eren would’ve despised the idea of his memory being tied to someone else.

so to reiner’s surprise, armin shook his head. “no,” he said, his grip tightening around his mug. “i… i’d name him bertolt, actually.”

reiner nearly choked on his alcohol.

“sorry,” armin said quickly. “i know he…”

“no, it’s okay,” reiner assured.

it fell silent again, the quiet growing more and more uncomfortable until armin spoke again. “i still feel responsible, you know.”

reiner’s jaw clenched. “it wasn’t your fault, armin.”

“maybe not, but… it still feels like it sometimes.”

reiner sighed. “if you don’t mind me asking… why? if we all betrayed you like we did… why?”

and armin shrugged. “he was a good guy. and he lost his life for a cause that his heart was never dedicated to.” reiner’s eyes fell back to the floor. “i learned a lot from his memories. he taught me a lot. and i would see him on the other side every once in a while, and he believed in me. no matter how badly i had hurt him… he believed that i was a worthy successor. he trusted me to make good on the monster he always thought himself to be.”

“…armin…”

“i want his legacy to live on. i want him to look down from wherever he is right now and i want him to see for himself that the blood of the colossal is not the curse he always thought it was, that… that i always thought it was, too.”

reiner nodded, took a deep breath. it wasn’t the answer he was expecting, but it was noble. loyal. forgiving. such an armin type of answer. “he would’ve been glad to know someone thought of him that way.”

“i know.”

and reiner chuckled. “‘course you know, arlert.” and the boy smiled, rolled his eyes as he brought his mug to his lips. “just don’t tell annie. she’d probably knock you out just for thinking about it.”

“w-what?” armin said in a panic, nearly spilling his drink.

“i’m just saying,” reiner said, leaning back in his chair and sending armin a wink. “you might want to come up with a backup plan, just in case.”

“t-that’s not—”

“yeah, yeah, i know,” reiner said with a grin. “trust me, i know.”