armchaireuropean-blog

[armchaireuropean-blog]

Attack of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

I’ve spent a considerable amount of time living in another European country (5 years with the tulip plantin’ cheese heads certainly doesn’t leave you unaffected). I would consider myself fairly aware of and genuinely interested in current major issues that concern the Union into which many of the landlocked countries, a few islands, and part of an island (We still see you, Ireland, you’re not forgotten!) have entered at some point in - fairly - recent history. Regardless of my meager attempt to assimilate the Dutch culture and average awareness of what’s going on beyond the borders of my own country, I would still consider myself not much more than an armchair European. 

Armchair European (noun)

A citizen of one of the member states of the European Union whose concept of duty as a European citizen mainly means resorting to armchair practices such as, but not exclusively: reading easy access news articles off of aggregator sites, discussing current events with like-minded peers, getting into arguments on virtual discussion threads, signing online petitions, blogging stupid rants, and every now and then a real life drunk argument with someone from the opposite camp, to spice things up a bit, whilst being fully aware that this will take neither party anywhere on the enlightenment train. 

I’m not going to lie, if I had to choose, I’d say that I see myself more as a German than a European citizen. Since I’m not blinding myself in thinking that I’m above average in any way shape or form (let that one fly long ago), I also know that there’s a lot of other people who think like me. Their country first, then the Union. 

With recent troubles (read mumbled: ‘trumples’) in international politics, the EU is trying to not lose its shits whilst at the same time dealing with the increasing call upon the EU to ‘for once’ be the savior, and not only stand, but act united - it seems that we’re in a bit over our heads. Trying to get organized while at the same time fending off the approaching...what’s the American equivalent to Godzilla...of course, it has to be the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Slowly gooping through the streets of his own country, Europe in response feels the pressure to get organized quickly. But while it seems that at least part of Europe’s representatives are up for the challenge, the masses shouldn’t be left behind. Europe is made up of many individual citizens of many individual countries and has never understood itself truly as a diverse cultural whole, but more an economic conglomerate with international political interests. In order to go forward and truly answer the call, I believe much more is asked of us and I’m not sure we can deliver. A Europe that is united across borders and acts as a somewhat sociocultural defined mass. That’s a tall order for such a young Union with such a turbulent past and present issues, just to deal with amongst itself. It requires armchair Europeans like me to get out of their comfort zone and start thinking about, well maybe not Europe first and Germany second, but to pay more attention to the step child. Maybe it’s time to start playing more with the other children in the EU school yard. The downside is obviously the compromises which will have to be made. Nothing makes you shift around more uncomfortably in your armchair than that notion. 

So I am intrigued where the EU is off to next with all of us armchair Europeans uncomfortably shifting in our seats. A strong, united, yet independent Europe is a nice pipe dream to have, but as soon as we drill down on what that actually means to the different people in the different countries, we realize that it’s not that easy to ‘unite’ and be ‘independent’. Across nations camps still seem to quickly divide between an open or closed approach regarding EU foreign as well as national policies, economics, and culture. How are we supposed to act as a united Europe, if these differences exist in every nation? To me it imposes the possibility of a stale mate situation where we’re trying not to step on each other’s toes whilst still trying to hurl the mass, that is the EU, forward. Unless we’re all ready to make some serious compromises to speed up rotation and gain some serious speed, this seems a challenge that’s possibly too tall for the EU. But I’m willing to be taught otherwise while simultaneously trying to find a new comfortable spot in this armchair of mine. Ever shifting? Maybe, but there’s also solace in the fact that there’s many others silently shifting with me. Because that’s what the ‘average European’ must do these days, I imagine. Watching and shifting uncomfortably in their seat.