arnarantos-blog - Tumblr blog

arnarantos-blog · 7 years

Text

taera & ryojin compendium

Putting a group of young adults in a single building is bound to result in revelry. When they're all overcompensating for various shortcomings and tied together by a bond no one else can understand - read, superpowers - it is perhaps even more likely. Needless to say, Taera standing in the middle of the common area, lights turned dim and ad rink clutched in her hand, is not an uncommon occurrence lately. At first she'd skirted away from the parties, ducked in and out quickly, but now she's a little braver, a little more sure. She's not the only one who's done stupid things, who's been hurt, who's been used. It helps a little, too feel less alone as she gets to know the others. Getting to know Ryojin, however, has already happened, and on top of that, she has already betrayed him horribly, and so when she finds him standing in front of her, she's a little uncertain, clenches her fingers around her drink a little tighter, takes a gulp and fiddles with the split ends of a strand of hair. "Hey, having fun?"

Lots of things in Ryojin's life could be categorized as unfair. He tries not to dwell on them, to focus too heavily and let everything pull him under. It's not because he wants to be positive, it's just, he likes to keep it to himself. Likes to project a specific image, a devil may care attitude. He's not larger than life, but he can certainly get in someone's face. Cocky, bold, competitve, those are all things he is. Just, sometimes he hyes them up even further as either a deflection tactic away from the truth, or means to get attention. He doesn't care if people think he's obnoxious, and he doesn't care they don't know what he's been throgh. In fact, he prefers it that way. But some of those past experiences pile up, and they're the reason he's been trying to push himself closer to Taera once again. Equal parts understand (because he was under a not-too-good thumb once upon a time) and acceptance (because he knows, at the end of the day, there's something about him that drives people away or mad). He doesn't even care if everything way a lie before, he still feels bad. He knows what it's like when it feels like you've been tossed in the gutter, so he's been trying to pull her into the fray. After all, he managed. "Sort of, last week was more fun. You look bored though, so I figured I'd take my chances in remedying that." he answers, tucks one hand into the pocket of his jeans and takes a sip from his bottle. "Waiting for someone?"

Taera is still getting her bearings, getting her feet underneath her again. The program has enlisted a somewhat out of her depth therapist, which helps, but the doctors say the effects of the serum, like her powers, are permanent. Its not going away - its an issue of management now. It feels weird, to know that. To know that the damage of it will exist in psychological scars now, in addition to the emotional. Bizarre. She feels broken, in a new way. So when she found Ryojin here, at the tower, it felt a little unfair. Ryojin was everything she would have wanted if she had grown up in a normal family with a normal life. But now? Well first of all she shouldn't be allowed to want him anymore, even if his hair flops into his face and his lips tilt playful. "Oh, I didn't come last week. What was so fun?" She's selfish, always has been, so she pushes headfirst into the conversation, stealing bits and pieces of his time to horde for herself. She nips at the inside of her cheek, shakes her head."Not bored, just..." she squints, glances around, "Honestly a little out of my depth." Honesty is new for Taera, tastes strange on her tongue.

"Someone said I couldn't slam Cyborg through a wall, but I definite /could/ slam Cyborg through a wall." he explained nonchalently, despite the fact that he got stuck with part of a bill (it had proven impossible to say that it hadn't been him who did it when there was a bear-sized hole in the wall and dozens of eye witnesses, or traitors, depending on who you asked). Ryojin shoots his own question back before he takes another sip of his beer, shifts his weight on his heels as he listens. "You wanna go kick whoevers off the balcony off and get air or something?" he asks her, because he has an inkling Taera will say no if he offers to drag her around to talk to people. "I could use a smoke," he exaplains away for himself, before he starts ambling off toward a balcony, though it had thankfully been vacant when he pulled the sliding door open, leaned his shoulder against it and waited for Taera to pass before he yanked it closed behind him, promptly hefted himself up to sit balanced on the ledge of the railing, apparently impervious by the danger of the fall below (but then, he was, he could turn morph into a bird if he really did lose his balance). "anything on you mind? you look pensive."

Taera isn't even really sure why Ryojin keeps talking to her. Why he started talking to her in the first place. She appreciates it, but its painful too - like a breathing reminder of her stupidity, her shortcomings, her foolishness. Still, she laughs, because he is funny and because the mental image of him jamming the other through a wall leaves nothing to be desired in terms of humor. "They must have fixed that up fast. I swear, whoever runs maintenance on this place must be paid a fortune for all the work they have to do." Just the other day Starfire had experimented with cooking, leaving an impressive fire to put out in her apartment kitchen, and she was pretty sure there was more than one arrow lodged in the ceiling of the lobby courtesy of Arsenal. She nods at the offer, follows after and then past, out into the cool air, eyes sliding shut for a moment. She reopens them to the other balanced precariously, as if to prove he can, as if to demonstrate he is invincible, and smiles. "I'm trying to be mindful. Its been recommended by my therapist. Think about things before I do them or say them." She pauses for a moment, her expression impassive, before her brows knit together and a sigh falls from her lips. "Its very difficult and it gives me a headache."

"There's a really handsomely paid maintenance worker on standby, possibly one just for me." Ryojin agrees. Granted, he's gotten somewhat better about mayhem int he form of destruction, it's jsut that his powers don't necessarily lend themselves well to not destrying things. Sort of. At least when he transforms into the larger varieties. Ryojin finds himself wandering off, out to a balcony to heft himself up, props his half-empty bottle against a nearby windowsill before he leans precariously backward to tug his cigarette pack out of his pocket. "What does being mindful entail exactly?" he asks her curiously as he sparks a lighter to life and inhales in deep. "Well, you don't have to be mindful right now if you don't want, I'm pretty tough." Ryojin informs her with a lazy shrug of his shoulder, swings one foot out only to thump his heel against the metal rung of a bar immediately after.

"I wouldn't doubt that in the slightest." she agrees, lips twitching into a smile as the other announces this somewhat proudly, as if he is thrilled to suggest the idea. He seems to revel in his ability to create mayhem with so little at his disposal- compared to some, anyway. In a world that suddenly involves aliens and demons, a boy who can be any animal seems somehow run of the mill. "I don't think you wanna hear about that," she points out, but he looks at her with dark eyes, curious even, as if he cares about the things happening in her life, as if he cares about her even. It makes her uncomfortable, toes curling in her sneakers, one pushing through the threadbare toe of her socks. "Just. Meditation? I guess. Uh, what is it she always says...." she trails off, takes a gulp as if that helps to jog her memory somehow. "Acknowledging and experiencing emotions but not acting on them right away. " her tongue pokes out between her lips, the bridge of her nose crinkling briefly. "Its dumb. Talk about yourself, talking about me sucks." she mumbles, but she doesn't follow up right away, edges closer to stand beside the other, fingers smoothing over the railing, shoulder bumping lightly against his thigh. "You like it here a lot?"

Ryojin takes a drag of his cigarette as he waits for Taera to open up, or to at least answer his question. It's not exactly like he's an impatient person, because he's not. At least, not in situations where things like winning or time limits are not involved. "Lots of things are dumb." he agrees unhelpfully enough, but it's not like he has a depth of knowledge concerning meditation. He takes another drag instead of jumping into himself as a general topic. Even before, when he thought she'd just joined in his little gang he'd been careful about that. He always has been, he hates pity, hates fear, hates a lot of things. Keeping people in the dark is just the easiest thing to keep all of that at bay. Not that he hides everything, he's happy enough to share the surface things, just not the winding path of his life, overgrown with weeds and brambles. He lets his leg sway to the side to thump his knee back against her lightly before he tips his head back to exhale out a cloud of smoke. "Better than a lot of other places I've lived. Besides, it's paid for and everything. Why, you don't?" he hazhards out a guess.

Taera's lips purse slightly as she thinks, considers, eventually lilts her explanation out as she feathers a hand back through long blonde hair. "True." she parrots back, because letting silence fall feels awkward and wrong. It used to be so easy to talk to him, she thinks, it used to flow so naturally and so quickly she barely thought about it. Even if it was mostly barbs and banter, even if it was largely playful as opposed to serious. Now it feels so uncertain. Now she feels like she's not deserving of the conversation to begin with, not deserving of his time or of the details of his life, but she presses for them anyway. In her year of separation she'd realized she didn't properly know anyone - except maybe Kori but Kori would tell her life story to an ant if prompted, and it hardly counted. And of all the people she found herself wishing she had known - her parents, the truth behind Slade, - she wanted to know Ryojin the most. But he's not forthcoming - truths don't fall from his lips as easily as jokes. "No, I do. I think." she admits, a small grin sweeping over her lips as the other thunks back at her. "But I feel like... I'm not supposed to be here, you know?"

Ryojin ashes the cigarette against the railing before he reaches over to nab his bottle, takes another long sip before he sets it back down with a clunk, his own leg swaying out to thun at her as he balances himself back in place. He's not entirely sure if he's wanted, now. If Taera had followed him out to be polite. It's hard for him to pick apart the truth from the former deception, but unless Taera snaps out and tell him otherwise, he's going to assume he's in the clear, tries his best to act like they had before. He's doing better now, even if it had taken a little bit of work to get over it, to hide the hurt when he'd seen her again. But it's easy enough to pretend that hadn't happened, easy enough to fall back into grins and jokes. "Why not? Last I checked most people can't fling rocks around with their minds. Or rock powers. However the fuck that's sposed to work." Ryojin point out with a bob of his head in a nod, extends a hand out to offer his half-smoked cigarette to her in case she wanted a drag (it was only polite).

She'd hurt him, Taera knows that. She'd almost gotten him killed, probably, and then she had killed the most important person in her life (who had been a megalomaniacal liar, it turned out, but it was still a murder) and then she had tried to kill herself. And after all that, they'd stopped her. Of course she'd run off after that. Of course she'd be humiliated and guilt ridden now. "You know why." she points out, takes it from him and fits it to her lips, smoke flooding her for a moment as she shifts, pulls it away to exhale, eyes fluttering closed. "I'm sorry, you know." she adds helpfully, awkwardly, smoothing her thumbs awkwardly against the edges of the railing, glancing up at him as he looks towards her, hands off the cigarette. "I don't know how to talk to you now. Or anyone else, honestly." she grumbles, a little bit reproachful, directed more at herself than anything else, sighing slightly as her chest tightens with something like anxiety or regret.

"I dunno, lots of people have done lots of shit things. I don't even think yours is the worst of it." Ryojin tells her truthful, it's not like he can't reate. Maybe not on an exact level, but one that's close enough. To be pulled under someone else's control and forced to do things you didn't really want to. Survival's a funny thing that way, people are willing to do a lot of things they swear they would never. "It's fine, I get it." Ryojin answers her back, and the words hold more weight than if someone else were to say it. Like it's more than forgiveness, like he understands. Bu he doesn't breach the topic back that, just hands off the cigarette with a lopsided grin. "I'm not mad." he tells her, and this much is true. Maybe he's not perfectly fine, maybe he feels some less than pleasant emotions with how everything ended, but anger isn't one of them. "What'll make it easier? Should I re-introduce myself or something? Clean slate?"

Taera laughs a little, ducks her head, fingers feathering through her hair when it promptly falls into her face. Its hard, still, to get out of that headspace, to look at him and know that she was lying to him, 24/7, for a year and a half. Its a long time to betray someone, a series of small decisions that she made, and she's saddled with the certainty that at any point she could have chosen to end it, to doubt Slade, to trust Ryojin, and every moment that passed she did not. Ryojin's words are oddly comforting, in the way they settle over her shoulders, like an arm draped reassuringly around her. "Why not? How can you be so...forgiving." Its another act she's unfamiliar with - forgiveness, absolution. He continues after a moment and it prompts a laugh, a quiet hum as she considers the idea, bites at the edge of her lip as if to stifle the smile that threatens to edge across them. "Yeah. Start over," she prompts, tilts her head slightly to look up at him expectant.

Ryojin shrugs at the question, swings his foot in the same arc and listens to the thump as his sneaker once again hits the bar. "Maybe someone made me do stuff I didn't want to either." he finally offers her, and it's not the full story, but it's a decent enough overview. It will at least give Taera an idea of where he's coming from, on why he can at least see most of it from her perspective, slightly quicker to come around. "Fine," Ryojin answers in turn with a chuckle, props his cigarette between his lips and offers out a hand for Taera to shake. "I'm Ryojin, and I'm a beast." he mumbles around the filter, waggles his brows a bit at that before he laughs, plucks it free from his lips and waits for the smoke to dissipate before he turns it back around on her. "And to who do I owe the pleasure?" he continues on, reaches out to grab at his bottles, drains the last of the beer.

Taera pauses when he speaks, the closest thing to an admission from his past that she’s ever gotten out of him, nodding slowly as she let a hand pat down against his thigh, squeezing lightly before she dropped it, tucked her hands into her pockets. “Nice to meet you Ryojin.” she murmured back, fit his hand against her own and shakes, laughing. “You’re gonna need to expand on your beastliness though, because right now it feels like a come on.” She flicks her hair back over her shoulder, tucks a few stray strands behind her ear, lips slanting lopsided. “Go Taera, ironically named, considering.” she informs him in return, “I’ve been a manipulative lying cunt for most of my life, but I’m straightening out now.” she extends an arm, fingers rigid, a straight line that she mimes pushing forward over the railing. “Or trying. Minor truancy appears to be built into me, so its a mixed bag.”

"Maybe it's sposed to be a come on." he tells her with a cocky looking grin, chuckles to himself as he props the cigarette back between his lips, takes another few drags of th dying stick before the stubs it out against the metal railing next to him. "It happens to the best of us." Ryojin tells her, winds his legs around to bars to hook his ankles against the metal rungs so he can lean back even further over the empty air. "I'm pretty sure destroying a walls counts as vandalism, so there's really so much they can expect out of us." Ryojin points out, closes his eyes briefly before he pulls himself upright once again, slides down from his perch entirely and spins on a heel to prop his forearms against the railing next to her. "Getting any easier?" he asks her, head dropping to meet her eyes in something curious. "Should we like, get more drinks or something? Will that help?" he continues on with a grin.

Taera tries (and immediately fails) to suppress a smile at that, brows lifting slightly. "I could be open to that," she drawls drily back at him, as if unrattled, as if she doesn't sort of want that to be true, as if it wouldn't be unfair of her to want that from him in the first place. "Alas," she coos quiet in response, watches him shift, leaning back, fingers curling around the loose fabric of his jeans where it falls past his knees over his calves, in folds, tugs instinctively before she remembers he isn't in any danger. "You must give your mom heartattacks." she mumbles, scoffs a quick laugh before he moves - quickly, abruptly, gracefully. The next thing she knows he's right beside her, shoulders brushing, the smell of his cologne or his soap, and his cigarettes heavy in the air. "Little bit." she murmurs back, "But you're breaking immersion. You really should learn to commit to the role, haven't you ever taken a drama class?" she teases, pauses in thought. "Probably. But I like it out here. With you, with less people." Honesty, again, but a little easier this time.

Ryojin shoots a grin back at that, but doesn't push it farther. He's charming, and generally overconfident, but considering his track record with Taera he's unsure about pushing things too far. After all, he's pretty sure she had pretended to go along with all of his flirting back in the day to get closer to them, and he retroactively feels a little bad about that. He twists his legs around the bars and leans back, though laughs again when he feels Taera yanking at the fabric of his jeans. "My mom's six feet under, I don't think she worries about me much anymore." he offers out, more as a passing statement, an attempt to share a piece of himself. It's complicated, the way he sees his parents. One that he's never worked out. He slips down from the railing anyway, spins to stand next to her and settles his weight forward against the metal. "Everyone tells me I'm already dramatic enough, you'll just have to live with it." he teases her back. "Wait, say it again. But this time, just say it like, with you. Full stop." Ryojin cracks out like a joke, tacks on a "kidding." just to be safe )he might be slight amounts of tipsy).

Taera had been annoyed by Ryojin at first, because of how intensely he'd come onto her. Or at least, that had been her cover, even to herself. He was distracting from her mission, obviously. He was unnecessary, a barrier. That's how she'd thought at the time. But it became clear upon reflection he'd been a distraction, a nuisance, because of how much she had wanted to reciprocate, because she'd wanted to pursue something there, something more real. Taera nods a little when he speaks, looks up at him. "Mine too. But I didn't meet her, and then my foster mom, she's gone too." Not dead, but written out of her life. Sort of the same thing. She watches him shift, swivel and thud into place beside her, a groan on her lips as he continues, teases. She thinks about it for a minute, finishes off the drink in her hand - far more rum than it is coke - and swallows hard, glances to the side. His features are cast in sharp relief like this, with shadows painted over him. "I like it out here, with you." she repeats, holds his gaze for a minute before she turns away again, clears her throat. "I could use the alcohol." she decides, a little louder, turns to head for the door.

"I don't talk to my foster parents anymore either." Ryojin notes in turn, fingers knitting together as he glances down at the streets below. He follows it up with another joke, a laugh, though eventually Taera parrots the words back at him, and his grin turns a llittle wider. He's not entirely sure what to make about them, or Taera, or what she feels about him in general. But for the moment, he'll take it. It's a nice way to spend the night, even if nothing turns out to be genuine. "Drinks it is." Ryojin agrees, follows after her toward the kitchen of the apartment they're in - discards his empty bottle for another and leans against the edge of the counter as he waits for Taera to mix another drink. "Porch part two, with me?" Ryojin asks her, referencing the stupid line he'd gotten her to say just moments ago. "Or somewhere new?" he concedes, though his intention that he's going to stick around her is obvious enough.

She pauses at that, when the other continues, looks at placid features and casual brows, a grin on her lips, slowly filtering into place. "You're really one to rely on the mystery factor huh, Beast?" she teases, but she's really just trying to express that she appreciates the fact he's opening up a little more, reaching out. She wants to ask him why - why on earth he'd bother with all this, but she doesn't, still selfish enough to not want to jinx it all. They end up in the kitchen, where he slouches easily against the counter, artful even. "With you?" she parrots back out, takes a gulp from the drink and grimaces, coughs. Its too strong, but she needs it that way, if she's going to keep being honest. "Rooftop." she decides, "I wish I lived on the top floor," she adds, as they headed towards the stairs. "It must be nice to be able to walk down the hall to the whole patio thing like that."

"Says you," he rallies back with a quiet laugh, fingers dragging through his hair as he shifts up to follow Taera back inside. He finds a drink and pries off the cap as he waits, though snags another bottle to go when Taera suggests leaving the part to head to the roof. "Maybe you can trade rooms with someone." Ryojin suggests in jest. He really doesn't mind being on the top floor though, despite the stairs. If he really wants to, he doesn't even have to take them, he can just leap off the roof and finds hiw way down as something that flies. He pushes his way out to the rooftop and walks toward the ledge before he drops down to splay himself out across the cement, ignores one fo the metal chiars nearby, and somehow succeeds in keeping his beer from spilling. "Not afraid of heights, I take it?" Ryojin questions out in order to fill the silence, elbow shifting against the cement to prop himself up so he can take another drink without choking.

"Maybe Kori will just move in with Hyun and I can take hers." she muses further, building on his joke with a quiet laugh, lips twitching at the edge as she trails after him. There's the elevator too, but none of them are strangers to a workout, so the stairs are hardly a bother. She's tipsy now, properly, to the point that the edges of her fingers are tingling and her cheeks are warm, a dead giveaway she's sure, watches as the other flops down against the cement, laying flat on his back. Taera bends her head to examine him for a minute, an incredulous grin as he props himself up. "isn't that uncomfortable?" she points out, shaking her head slightly even as she shifts, carefully sits beside him, tries not to let the slight disorientation of her senses cause her to falter, failing slightly and leaning into his side as a result. She doesn't bother to right herself, however, just leans into it for the moment, pulls a gulp. "Not really. I mean, maybe if we weren't on a stone patio with a bunch of stone on the ground. Kind of helps, all the rocks people use to build shit. I guess like how you don't mind heights because you could just fly away."

Ryojin takes a moment to relax against the ground, eyes slipping closed, and it feels like the world it spinning slowly around him, just a little tipsy. "Not really." he hums out, though uses the opportunity to crack his eyes open, push himself up on his elbow, and take another sip of his drink. "So what about airplanes then?" Ryojin asks her when Taera talks about the rocks giving her confidence. Granted, Ryojin's always been comfortable with heights, and flying in general is especially exhilarating. "How've you been though? You know, past the whatever stuff." Ryojin asks her, waves a hand around as he says it, as if to usher away the past that she undoubtably doesn't want to talk about. He shifts a little more, so that he's sitting upright completely, tries to focus his eyes on the cityscape below. "Or, what's on your mind?" he suggests as an alternative topic.

Ryojin pushes upright a little and Taera follows after him, settles beside him as carefully as she can manage, with the world tilting around her. She reaches for her drink regardless, as if continuing to drink is going to help her feel more at ease here. "Dunno, never been in an airplane." she admits, glances over at him, "I bet you love flying, right?" she teases, pushes at his knee lightly. "On your own terms of course." she tacks on, slides her hands down her legs until she's folded in half, fingers curled around her ankles and her head against her legs, sighing softly as muscles burn. The blonde straightens a moment later, looking over at him, "You seem like you do everything on your terms." she murmurs with a faint smile, rolling her shoulders back to press her palms against the concrete behind her, flat to anchor her. "We're on a fresh slate, I don't know whatever stuff you're talking about." she informs him sagely, glances sidelong at the other and takes a breath, another drink, chases it with a sigh and a smile. “So tell me, Ryojin, my new friend, “ she begins, tilts her head back to look at the distant sky above them. “ Is this like, your move? The porch thing. Although I guess I did suggest the patio, but I gotta say. Its pretty typical. Lets go somewhere more quiet.” she pitches her voice low to sound like his, “I just expected a little more effort from my beastly new companion.” She’s ditching the emotional subtext now, full tilt into playful and a little lighthearted. “How’s a beast like you not got a girlfriend to be pissed off at me right now? Or am I gonna have to watch my back?” And okay, maybe she’s fishing, a little but a year away is a long time, and he’s not exactly hideous.

"Yeah, it's pretty great. Hard to explain though." Ryojin answers her in turn, shifts around as he sits up and makes himself comfortable, pulls another sip of his beer. Ryojin hums when she speaks again, because he's not entirely sure what he wants to talk about, though Taera speaks sup again before he has time to think of something and let it slip free. "To be entirely fair, you're the one who said it wasn't your scene. Or something. I was just being a gentleman." he hums out, and while he doesn't have an exact recollection of what Taera had said, he's pretty sure it was something like that. "I'm on a low-effort mandated probation period, when I go high-effort I throw people through walls and mangement has a problem with that." he sighs out teasingly, lifts one hand to drag his fingers back through wind-mussed hair. "I don't know, I guess my roguish good looks are too much for most to handle." he decides with a grin, though it's true enough that he doesn't have a girlfriend. "What about you - or do you need a 3 to 6 months adjustment period before you can start looking?"

"You should at least attempt. Or turn into a...a...a...pterodactyl and fly me around." A young Taera had always been just a tiny bit obsessed with dinosaurs, but she's pretty sure he'd mentioned once that the prehistoric were off the table - right? maybe not. It would certainly be a nice surprise. "You're very gentlemanly, good point." she determines, laughing a little as she gulps down more of her drink, looks to the side at the other. "On second thought, continue to slack off. I'd like to remain in tact and not inside a wall or over the edge of the patio," the girl jokes in return, and damn if it isn't a weakass joke, but she's tipsy at this point, giggling as her skin flushes red. fortunate genes, there. "Well." she begins, squints. "I've historically been bad at commitment, honesty, and communication, so I'm really not sure what the best idea for me is, generally speaking. But, I did also spend a year on a fucking mountaintop with some fucking buddhists, so, like, I'm also sort of aching for companionship, to be pathetically blunt." she drawls back, nudges her knee against his. "Which is why I'm talking your ear off, probably. That and the roguish good looks."she concedes the second point with a smirk, a sip from her drink.

"Unfortunately, pterodactlys are off the table." Ryojin informs her, tips his head back to stare at the darkening sky as he tries to think of something bg enough with wings where that would work out, but his mind mostly comes up blank. "I'm not slacking off, I'm zen." Ryojin protests, even if he really isn't. When they'd tried to get him to meditate with raven, he'd been kicked out a record five minutes later. Meditation wasn't really for him. "Well that sounds a little bit terrible. No offense." Ryojin decides (though this is perhaps due to his ever present need to be around other people), takes another sip off his own drink before he tacks on a "what kind of companionship?" his own leg rocking to the side to bump against hers in turn. "I am pretty charming, aren't I?" Ryojin agrees with a grin, head ducking down briefly to meet Taera's eyes before he laughs to himself and sits upright once again. "What'd you do on the mountain anyway? Aside from, like...buddhist shit."

“Bummer.” Taera sighs wistfully, lets her lowerlip jut out slightly. “I really love dinosaurs. As a kid I was completely obsessed.” She’s about to bring up the fossil they’ve found recently, that’s so well preserved it looks like a statue, but she figures that might be hitting the nerd button a little too hard this soon. “Zen. Of course. Sure you are.” she laughs out, immediately skeptical and disbelieving, nodding a little bit. “It was. I mean. I think I needed to do it, the whole mountain thing, but it was miserable at first. I hadn’t… I have…” she pauses, squints slightly over the horizon, trying to reorder her thoughts. “I hadn’t ever really been alone with myself before, you know what I mean?” Its uncertain phrasing and she isn’t sure if it gets the message across, but she DID just profess to being a poor communicator - at least she’s making the effort. She holds up a middle finger as he teases her, thunks a leg against hers, rolls her eyes even as she suppresses a grin. “very.” she denotes drily, sniffs a little. “Thats really it. Hiking, practicing powers, training. A lot of cleaning and cooking. You have to pitch in, if you stay there.” she explains, scratches at a scrape healing over her knee. “I just needed to get my head on straight.”

"Made of zen." Ryojin informs her with another sage nod, even if it is entirely untrue. "Yeah, I guess. Mountain's pretty like, extreme mode though isn't it?" Ryojin asks, even if it's mostly rhetorical. "Rude, aren't you supposed to think really hard about these things before you go around flipping people off? I'm telling on you." Ryojin declares teasingly, though the large smile plastered on his face makes it obvious enough that he doesn't really care. "That all sounds really, really boring." Ryojin declares, takes another long sip of the beer and shakes around the remaining liquid in the bottle. "You had to entertain yourself somehow I bet, right?" he asks her, brows shifting up again, paired with a mischievous looking grin and the lewd implications are obvious. Obvious enough that he braces himself for a stray fist, lifts his own shoulder up in preparation for it, or for a chunk of the roof to come careening toward his head. "I'm kidding," he tacks on, just in case. "What'd you miss the most though, while you were there? The internet?" he asks her, this time more seriously.

Ryojin's hair falls into his face when he nods, tousled and a little too long. "I mean.. yeah, but I felt like it was necessary. Extreme mode was kind of how I'd been living my life until then, so..." she shrugs, shoulders lifting as she stretches her legs in front of her, hand smoothing down them, scratching absently at the edge of a scrape. She's about to reply that yeah, it was pretty boring, when he continues, and she flushes despite herself, courtesy of being entirely embarrassed in the moment, and entirely too drunk. "You - you are.." she trails off, clears her throat. "Correct, and also obnoxious." she determines, nose scrunching upwards as she resolutely finishes off the drink, clears her throat. "The internet." she agrees, slicks her tongue over her lip. "I missed... I missed..." she sighs, bites down the inside of her cheek."I missed certainty. I'd thought...up until that night, that I had a purpose. That I was loved, and needed, and wanted. That there was a clear goal, someone to stand by me. And then all of a sudden all of that was over. I didn't know who I was, or what to do with myself, or how...to be," she sniffs, pinches at the bridge of her nose, and punches the other in the shoulder.

"I'm not saying it was a bad decision, just. Extreme." he reiterates, just to make sure she knows he's not trying to poke flaws in her logic, but the booze is making him chatty. Chatty enough to make jokes that leave her cheeks flushed pink and it has him hiding his laugh in the sleeve of his sweatshirt. "I'm adorable and endearing." he correct in place of obnoxious, but he does the same thing with his eyebrows once again when she tells him he's correct. He pushes on anyway, toward a new topic and taps his fingers against the ground as he waits for her to talk. He'd meant to keep things lighthearted, but when Taera sniffs and pinches at the ridge of her nose, he feels a little out of his element. He scratches the tips of his fingers against the cement like a distraction, but eventually he pulls a hand up to press his hand between her shoulders, something he means as comforting, though flinches away when she punches him, lets himself flop dramatically to the ground and shifts briefly into a dog just to shoot forlorn puppy eyes at her, sits up and then morphs back into a boy. "I mean, you can still have all that, it's not impossible."

"I'm prone to extremes." she admits in turn, grins a little when he hides his face, laughs hearty and husky. Its a nice sound - he's a nice boy - and she wonders again why on earth he bothers to forgive, to reach out. She mumbles out a little more honestly, more candidly than she had intended to be, and watches him fidget uncertainly. She should have just said porn or booze, she thinks, but its worth it for the weight of his hand against her back, offers him a grin before she slugs him in the shoulder, laughing as he flops and whines. When he becomes a dog, she's laughing, cooing slightly as she strokes at soft fur, sighing dramatically in disappointment as he changes back shortly thereafter. "You should have stayed a dog, you were the cutest that way." she informs him sagely, fingers still tangled into his hair, only it is longer and silkier now, and she combs his bangs carefully from his eyes. "Its more difficult, though. Its an adjustment, I guess." she explains, sighing softly. "I just like to complain."

Ryojin flops to the side at the punch and morphs into a dog (because if there's one thing he's learned cheers up girls, it's dogs), tongue lolling briefly out of his mouth as he feels her fingers stroke at his fur, nips playfully at her hand as he rolls upright, though drops his hold as he morphs back. "I'm not cutest all ways?" he asks, and it comes out in a gasp, like he might have been shocked by the statement. His nose scrunches up as her fingers drag through tangled hair - and he probably should have combeed it before going out, but he definitely hadn't. Hardly ever does. He's a mess of a boy, with perpetually wild hair and scrapes and bruises aplenty, but it's hard to make it look like he's composed when he's constantly shifting. It's not like hes going to carry around a comb. "Why's it more difficult?" Ryojin asks her, because all things considered, hitting it off with the eviler of two stupid steet gangs at least /sounds/ like it would be more difficult.

Taera smiles, a laugh quiet in the cool night air when he nips playful at her hand, slides her fingers back through his bangs as he shifts into a boy again, scratches lightly at his scalp, smoothes out a few errant tangles. "He basically raised me, so, you know, I didn't... have to think about things. I just trusted him. Which, obviously, was not the best idea ever. But now I have to be distrusting, or careful, you know? Its a good thing to do - to evaluate people, motives. But its also a lot more difficult than blind acceptance." she points out, shrugging a little bit. "But I guess some people seem easier to trust than others, which helps." she teases, sliding her fingers free from his hair. "You, for example." her nose scrunches, finger pressing lightly into the dimple of his cheek.

"I guess so," Ryojin agrees, because it's true enough. But then, even with what he's been through himself, he's alwayss been on the easier side of trust. The problem lies in the fact that he wants to, that he wants to forge relationships and create friends. "I do have a very trustworthy face," he agrees, eyes slipping shut as he smiles, he fingers pressing a little harder into his cheek before he lets the expression drop, pulls a knee to his chest and winds an arm around it before he drops his chin to rest against it. "But anyway, now you get to have the internet and everything, so. Exciting." he points out, because he's never been spectacular in emotionally charged situations, or situations that promote sharing and feelings. He's better at difffusing, and at running away from problems without letting people realize he's doing so, with hiding all his own hurt behind fun house mirrors - because the best sorts of distractions are ones that make people laugh, or turn them incredulous when he throws people through walls on a dare. "Plus there's pizza, I bet mountain food is lacking. I'm already depressed just thinking about it."

"Extremely trustworthy." she agrees, pats his cheek lightly before she drops her hand, watches him shift. Her hans press back behind her against the concrete surface, head tilting back to examine the sky above them. "Yeah, I really fucking missed the internet. And pizza. Not just pizza, either. They're vegetarians up there, you know. LIke, I got pretty healthy and all that but damn did I miss fried chicken and cake and pizza and now I'm really hungry." she bemoans, lowerlip jutting out slightly as she rolls her head to the side to look at him. "Thanks a lot." she adds, a dramatic sigh as she continues, "Turn into a chicken so I can fry you up, it'd really hit the spot I bet." he fights the urge to laugh at her weird, shitty, cannibalistic joke. "Does that even count as cannibalism you think?" she adds after a beat, squints slightly. "Do you count it - like, are you a vegetarian? Since you...can be all those animals, is it weird to eat them?"

"Gross," he chuckles out at her prompt to turn into a chicken, turns to level her with a fake looking glare "or I could turn into a wolf and eat you." he trades in turn, pairs it with a toothy grin before he shrugs a shoulder. "I mean, it freaked me out at first. I went vegetarian for a while, but eventually it was like...well, I can transform into other animals that eat meat so, circle of life and all that. Some of the industry is kind of..." he trails off, pulls a face (and maybe he's a bit of an animal activist on the side, but going into detail about /why/ and /how/ the meat packing industry needs to improve is a conversation for a different day). "I think it only counts as cannibalism if I turn into a chicken and then eat the chicken. Or whatever. Which is weird." he notes, drums hiss fingers against his shin as he contemplates. "So if you get to ask /me/ stupid questions about my powers - do you listen exclusively to rock music?" he asks her, just to return the favor.

"That would definitely be inappropriate," Taera returns with a laugh, his grin toothy and pretty, chased with a chuckle as the other continues. "Fair enough." she denotes, nodding along as he references the problematic meat industry, hums quietly in contemplation. "Makes sense." she adds, a laugh when the other continues, "It wasn't a stupid question and it also wasn't about your powers. Technically. It was about you, psychologically responding to those powers." She sniffs slightly, lips slanting with a smile. "Absolutely." is her deadpan reply, before she shakes her head. "I mean, not exclusively, but a lot. I like other stuff too though." A moment of contemplation has her throwing another question his way, "What's your favorite animal to turn into? Do you have a favorite, even or is it just a case by case thing?"

"Whatever, whatever." he ushers away, picks up the bottle to drain the remainder of his beer before he sprawls out against the pavement once more, heels ressting against the ground and his knees crooked up. "Case by case, but. Bear happens a lot. Very scary. Raven, because I like to fly and it makes Raven-Raven huff. Dog is a fan favorite, so's cat." he lists off, threads his fingers together and tucks his palms underneath his head like a pillow. "Why, what's your favorite animal? Maybe I'll humor you sometime." he tells her with a chuckle, one knee swaying back and forth as he stares up at the sky, dark now, but hard to pick out the stars. "But, three months...done anything fun or just hiding out in the tower?"

Ryojin promptly splays out on the ground beside her, lazy and laconic and woefully endearing in his casual posture. "Those are all other people's favorites or useful." she points out, pushes her hand back through smooth blonde strands. "I like..." she trails off in momentary consideration, contemplating the question. "I like bears." she decides, nodding a little. "Really big and fat ones." Taera laughs a little, groaning slightly as she shifts in place, the world still spinning ever so slightly. "And foxes. They have domesticated ones, in Russia. I saw it online." Taera shifts after a moment to lay against the concrete beside him, a moment of concentration softening the concrete beneath them to contour slightly to their forms, a more comfortable resting position this way. "The first month was awkward. Buying stuff for the apartment, catching up on shows, about five hundred awkward first meetings. Second month I got a part time job, leading hiking tours at the nature preserve, took a bunch of extra shifts to build up some savings. Third month... I've been trying to , you know. Make friends. Get my bearings. Find another job closer to the tower." she rattles off, blinks over at him. "You work at all?"

"Bats are cool. Everything's just real...different. But you still know what's going on. Plus flying." he tells her, even if he's not entirely sure if it's his favorite. "I think I have lots of favorites." he finally settles on. "Well, I can get the bear part down at least, but. As you can see I am definitey not fat." Ryojin concludes, slips his hands out from under his head just to drop on down and pull up the hem of his shirt to expose his skin, the slight definition of his abs. He laughs, tosses it back careflessly and leaves a strip of skin visible, though that time was unintentional. "I'm a cute fox." Ryojin informs her, though makes no move to actually turn into one at the moment, but hums when he feels the concrete soften under his head. "Yeah, I work part time at an arcade, and then some late night podcast thing on the side but. That pays pennies." he answers back. "But I guess it's okay, considering I don't have to pay for rent." he concludes. "What kinda job you looking for?"

Taera considers the idea of being a bat, taking to the skies and seeing with sound, the screech of ecolocation. "I can kind of do a bat thing." she announces after a moment, before realizing this doesn't make any proper connection to his statement, lost in the tipsy wanderings of her brain. "Wait, okay, this makes sense. I can like - sense vibrations through the ground, right, so I know if like, someone is sneaking up on me." she explains, "which...is kind of... like...echolocation?" she lilts, swallows. "maybe not. Maybe I'm a little drunk." She clears her throat, tilts her head to look over at the other, a chuckle on her lips as she reaches out to smack her hand lightly against the exposed line of his stomach, "You're a fucking flirt is what you are," she accuses brightly, clicks her tongue and shifts, laying back a little to settle against the concrete, a slight grin following as he hums his quiet appreciation. "What kind of podcast?" she queries with interest, shrugs a little. "Something that pays me money and isn't totally useless? I guess I have to think about the future, too. Like. A career, and shit."

"Kind of." Ryojin agrees with a laugh, but he really doesn't know too much in either direction to really make that call. But he moves into talking about bears, and about himself, the hem of his shirt moving up, though he groans when Taera lands a hand against his stomach. It's easy enoough to tell he likes the attention though, and he uses the opportunity to clench his stomach. "What's so bad about that?" he asks her as he settles back into place. "Guess you'll need to listen and find out. Try not to get too enthralled by the sound of my voice though. It's hard, but I have faith." he trades back, though hums in agreement when she mentions the future. "Yeah, well. Future's future. Just focus on now." he decides, which is exactly what he has a tendency to do in most situations. To the point where it leads to poor impulse control and damaged property, but at least it's easier that way. "How's the friend making thing going though, any luck?"

Taera laughs as he clenches his stomach, groans pointedly, and she smacks him again, lightly, before she shifts in place slightly, lying on her side facing him, hand propping her head as she murmurs her explanations. "Nothing really.' she teases back, shakes her head a little as he continues. "I don't even know the name of it. At least text me the link or something later, how else am I supposed to find you. I can't just google sexy beast man podcast. Maybe I can. But I'm dubious about the kind of results I would get." Her tongue tangles a little as she flits from topic to topic, courtesy of the rum and cokes she's downed, humming quietly as the other continues. "I like that idea. The future will work itself out, right?" It won't, and she knows it, but its comforting to pretend at least for a moment that she isn't worried about it. "Well.." she begins, squints over at the other, "Are we friends?"

"Need your number to text you." Ryojin points out, and it has him fitting a hand down into the pocket of his jeans to retrieve his cell, unlocks it and opens up contacts before he passes it over to her. "Yeah," he agrees, drums his hands against his own stomach as she waits for Taera to finish putting in her information. "Us? Yeah, I'd say so." he tells her, because he'd like to think so, even if she had been keeping her distance from him over the past couple of months. Things seem to be a little easier now though, granted, it could be from the sheer amunt of booze they'd both knocked back. But eitheer way, he's not complaining. There's a silence before he glances over at her "should we like, do something? Are you bored?" he wonders aloud, reaches his hand out and waits for her to drop his phone back against his palm, fits it back into his jean pocket after.

Taera laughs as he points that out, passes over his cell, and she taps in her name, number, hands it over. "Then I've made one friend, and I'll consider that a good start." she informs him with a wry grin, "it turns out I'm not super personable." She drops her voice to tell him this, like a stage whisper during a play, muted in theory but still quite entirely audible. Its true though, he is her friend at this point, she thinks, even if she doesn't properly deserve that olive branch extended her way. Still, if he wants to be forgiving she's not going to ruin it. She could use a little forgiveness from someone else, since she's not liable to receive it from herself. "Sure, but what? You wouldn't turn into a pterodactyl and fly me around, so I'm sore for ideas. I guess I could fly us." She's not sure why her drunk brain has latched onto flying, but maybe he'll have a better idea. "I guess its more of a floating zippy kind of thing." she corrects after a beat of consideration, "We could find someone else for you to chuck through a wall. I hear you've made a hobby of it."

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

It's late, and the building had been shaking, enough to wake a few of them up. It had been pieced together, and Ryojin eventually volunteered himself to go wake Taera up, because crawling under the gap in her door as an ant seemed like a better option than hyun kicking down her door. So that was exactly what he did, morphed back into a boy as soon as he crawled under the gap, looked sleepy and rumpled in an oversized hoodie and flannel pants as he shuffled closer. "Taera." it came out in a hushed whisper before he realized he was supposed to be waking her up, feet bracing against the ground as the building shook again. "Taera." he tried again, louder this time, one knee pressing to the edge of the mattress as he reached out to prod at her shoulder, body tensed in case she woke up and fung a rock at his head, preparation prickling underneath his skin in case he needed to turn into something tiny with wings.

Sleep does not come easily to Taera, and even when it does finally descend it becomes tumultuous rather quickly. This is, she supposes, par for the course. The nightmares have subsided over time but the serum and the psychosis mean they never entirely leave. Sometimes they are chased with sleep paralysis, the feeling of a crushing weight on her chest, looming figures that obscure her vision adn fill her with dread, the temptation to lash out quashed by her bodies' unwillingness to respond. This is what she thinks is happening, when a hand pushes at her and she opens her eyes to a shadowed figure, winds her fist back to strike before she registers its a familiar presence. By that point she's upright in bed with her fist cocked back, pupils wide and breath in quick pants. Slowly she relaxes, squeezing her eyes shut with a groan. "Sorry," she mumbles, glances around. The knicknacks on her shelves have slid a few inches, things knocked askew. "Was I shaking?" she groans, rubs at her face. "Sorry."

Ryojin prods again, and then once more before her eyes crack open there's a flurry of motion and he spots a fist, takes the moment where she pulls her hand back to turn into a tiny songbird and propels himself a little higher, closer to the ceiling. He's already found out how bad it hurts to get pelted in the head with a rock once and he doesn't want a repeat. The morphing seems to alert her to who it is though, so he flutters back down to perch at the eend of her bed, skitters back and forth in funny looking bird hops as he waits for Taera to fully wake up. When she starts talking, he flutters off the end of the bed and morphs back before he hits the mattress, flops onto it with a thump of a noise. "S'okay, you woke us up. I think cuz we all live above you. I volunteered for waking up duty, I figured you'd rather wake up to my face than Hyun's. That would be like...nightmare part two." he declares with an exaggerated, mock shudder.

By the time there’s a hopping bird at the edge of her bed she can’t help but feel a little more lighthearted, a little bit brighter, a smile ghosting over her lips as she feathers a hand back through her hair, trying to regain her senses. He moves quickly, collapsing into place against her mattress, jostling her a little in the process, her head turning to watch him splay out, a grin twisting the edge of her lips. “Ah, shit, " she groans, falls backwards on to the mattress, pouts at the shadowy ceiling. "That means that little punk is gonna scold me or some shit. Or worse, get all...concerned and in my face." she rolls to the side to face the other, laughs as the other continues. "You're definitely preferable to Hyun, yes." she reassures him with a laugh, nips at the edge of her lip before she adds, as nonchalantly as possible, "Would you stick around for a minute? I get paranoid after nightmares, and then its hard to sleep again, so, yeah." She doesn't look at him when she asks, eyes trained on a distant point over his shoulder.

"He does the concerned in your face thing a lot. You can piss him off by turning into something large and trashing his room, or kissing his totally-not-girlfriend." he advises, like that might have been real, actual advice. To be fair, either option, /will/ piss Hyun off. "Yeah, sure," he agrees, tucks both hands into the front pouch of his hoodie as he fixes his own eyes to the ceiling, not that he can make out much. His gaze is dragged down once again when he can't find anything to focus on, eyes adjusting to the light slowly and he can begin to make out Taera's face. He could just transform into something with night vision, like a possum, but he figures that might just make her shout. He briefly contemplates a cat before ushering that away too in favor of still being able to speak. "Wanna talk about it or nah?" he asks her, toys around with his own fingers, though the motion is hidden behind fabric.

"You do that a lot?" she questions with a laugh, but honestly she's the most curious about that last part. "You and Kori I mean." she adds, tacks it on in a way that is entirely not obvious, of course. But she's rattled and tired and he's sweet and staying, so she allows herself an obvious question, just this once. She's trying the honesty thing after all. "Thanks." she tacks on, slips her hand over his arm to curl a little closer, presses her cheek to his bicep. "Not really." she admits, sighs a quiet, restless sigh, "Its that stupid serum shit." she adds after a second, "I guess it fucked with my brain a little." Taera sighs, rolls away from him onto her back, disentangling from the heat of his arm.

#* terranova

1 note · View note