aroacearborvitae

[aroacearborvitae]

"am i still aromantic if-" learn how to be secure in your own identity without constantly seeking validation from strangers online every step of the way. There is no rulebook being written by some sort of aromantic elite, opinions vary from person to person. The only clear cut definition of aromanticism that we have which the majority of us agree upon is "little to no romantic attraction to others" and there's way too much variation under that to list every single "valid" way to be aromantic.

[aroacearborvitae]

some of you guys need to get more aro about how you perceive romantic relationships. theyre literally just another type of friendship

[aroacearborvitae]

ah shit sorry man i didnt mean to spill my "aro4aro friends with benefits relationship" all over your favorite ship, fuck dude my bad, it wont happen again

[aroacearborvitae]

clearly i'm some kind of horrible friendship pervert

[aroacearborvitae]

TO ALL AROACES:

*Includes online interactions and sex work

**Amatonormative romance, conforming to typical ideals of romantic partnership

I’m an aroace guy trying to take a census of how many of us are partnering vs non-partnering. Please reblog to increase reach!

[aroacearborvitae]

everyone's all about queer subtext until it's aromantic or asexual

[aroacearborvitae]

"Single people are on average less healthy, less financially stable, and overall less satisfied with life than partnered and married people are. This must mean that monogamous relationships and marriage are the solution to society's problems"

Huh, it's almost like society, both socially and financially, is set up to specifically benefit people who have monogamous relationships and get married and punish people who don't partner or get married. It's almost like there are financial benefits that exist specifically to incentivize people to get married and have kids and be a nuclear family. It's almost like it was very culturally normal until very very very recently to just not have any deeper platonic relationships after you get married, meaning that single people past a certain age just get left behind and get treated as spinsters or loser bachelors. It's like life just is not designed for single people to be able to easily participate and survive while still being single. Huh, very weird. I'm sure marriage will fix this.

[aroacearborvitae]

supporting and hyping up a friend who got broken up with by telling them they're strong and independent. don't worry babe, you're better off without them. hey, being single is awesome! i know people judge you, but don't you just feel...so much more free like this? you're your own person, after all. maybe you don't need a new relationship after all. maybe you should stay single, just a little while longer....y'know, just to see if you like it.

[aroacearborvitae]

- Yasmin Benoit on racism in the asexual community 2021

[aroacearborvitae]

oh waiterrrr more posts like these please!

[aroacearborvitae]

The fabled aroallo cishet man up to nefarious things is such a nonsense concept. Loads of queer people don't even know what aromantic is about. If a cishet man has done enough reflecting to figure out they're aromantic then chances are they've already been a friend and ally to queer people for a considerable amount of time.

[aroacearborvitae]

I want to live in a world where aromantic people and asexual people don’t have to lie to our doctors and therapists about our orientations to avoid them attempting to “fix” us, find an “underlying cause” for who we are, or take us off necessary medications like antidepressants just in case they’re “suppressing our emotions”. I want to live in a world where openly experiencing a lack of romantic and/or sexual attraction is not a barrier to receiving adequate healthcare.

[aroacearborvitae]

It is kinda fucked how being ace or aro pretty much automatically means you’re isolated, even from your queer peers.

[aroacearborvitae]

and you're not "missing" anything. you're you and that's all that matters. you deserve just as much happiness.

[aroacearborvitae]

sorry to be aromantic but i need more stories w characters who get absolutely no romantic interests, plots, or romantic ending ‼️ gimme ppl w complex interpersonal relationships put into emotional life situations ‼️ but they all get zero bitches ‼️

[aroacearborvitae]

it is my aromantic right to loudly and obnoxiously write one thousand love stories that are deep and complex and intimate and wrenching and life changing and not at all even a little bit romantic.

[aroacearborvitae]

I feel the phrase “Aro/Ace people can still date/have sex” has just morphed into a new version of “you just haven’t found the right person yet.”

Yes we can. But it’s our call if we do. And it’s certainly not gonna be with anyone who tries to use the fluidity of our experiences as a clap back to break firmly set boundaries.

And that fluidity doesn’t make sexual/romantic repulsion that some of us experience any less true or valid.

I’ve never had sex and I never will. The sheer concept of it viscerally disgusts me.

I’ve never experienced any form of sexual attraction and know at this point i likely never will. I have zero framework for it when people talk about it. It confuses me.

“Little to no romantic/sexual attraction” has a no in it for a reason. Because aro/ace people who don’t experience sexual/romantic attraction at all regardless of circumstance are in fact real.

Other ace people have different experiences. They’re allowed to. Their experiences aren’t mine or anyone else’s to make. Nor are mine theirs.

Sexualities are complicated and often fluid sure. But one thing they’re not is negotiable.

Ace peoples boundaries are ours to make and yours to respect. No ifs or buts. You don’t get a say in it.