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not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

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oh I see. it was the crime of wanting. that's why I deserve it.

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i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven't had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there's somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they're the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they're possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can't tell me that.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

someone comes up behind us. It's the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn't Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren't making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don't do piracy or something ok please

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Here it is, guys! Welcome to Hell 2 (Part One)! _____

TW: SUICIDE MENTION It's been about a week since Sock came into Jonathan's life to haunt him, and Jonathan's starting to get used to his antics. But does he really want to get comfortable with the guy who's job is to convince him to kill himself? Stay tuned for Part 2, and find out! ______

To all the fans/followers on tumblr, I just want to say thanks from the bottom of my heart. I know I haven't been around here much in the last few years... to be honest I've been social media-ing less and less pretty much everywhere. Maybe that was the cost of actually making W2H2? I'm not sure. But when I think back about interacting with everyone on tumblr in the years following W2H, it's really sweet and nostalgic for me. I was going thru some rough times, and knowing that there were people out there who saw my dumb little short and connected with it, and wanted to spend more time with the characters... that's really important for an artist. So I genuinely can't thank you guys enough. There would be no W2H2 without the W2H Fandom. I know it's been 10 years, but... thank you for everything. Enjoy!

(PS - you guys got the only heartfelt side-note. Twitter got a "eeehhhHHHHhhhhhHHHHhhhhh", and Youtube got a "please don't be mean to me, I worked really hard on this just to be broke for my entire adult life so far, you GHOULS". So you know I mean it!)

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snoopy of the day

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Obsessed with going "No... i shan't say..." when it's very clear what I shan't say

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i hate it when customers get mad about policy and go “well i’ve always thought it worked differently” like ok. when i was a kid i thought the drains in sinks and bathtubs lead to Hell and i would pour things down them for the dead people. it turns out that you can think things that aren’t true

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what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went "you havent made a list in a while! 🙂" are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now

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i get why people were criminals back in the day. if i was running from the cops in the thirties and i turned around and saw three horses and a model t id probably slow down to a light jog

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Silk is so beautiful. Thank you worms

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kabru is so fucking funny. he’s out here playing 15 dimensional manipulation mind chess with a guy whose hobby is barking like a dog

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we got really close one time. monkey #44543 almost wrote Othello perfectly but decided to take some creative liberties in act 3 that were kinda shit so the other monkeys took his typewriter away

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my father said to me once that one of the things he deeply regretted was not putting music on for his father while he was fading away. he told me that grandpa would just sit in his old armchair in the quiet, and not until after he’d passed did my dad think of how he could have played of his favorite classical music tapes for him so grandpa could listen to something while he still could. i was very young when this happened and not much older when my dad told me this, but it always stuck with me as something important.

my mother died at home in a hospice cot, slowly shutting down over the course of about a week. when she had stopped responding, i remembered what dad told me about wishing he’d played music for grandpa, and i put the radio on her favorite country music station and kept it on for her until she died.

daddy died in hospital. no cassette players, no decent radios. the day after he was brought in, i thought again of what he told me, and i bought a little portable bluetooth speaker. even though he never woke up, was never aware, i played music for him too.

there’s no real significance to sharing this, not really. my motivation is selfish, again: i just want to hope that someone might think of this when their loved one is stuck in silence somehow, and maybe they’ll play music for them, and they won’t have to regret not doing so. i want to hope it helps someone. and i want to hope that someone will remember my dad with me, even in just a “story i read on the internet” way.