arsenicfox

[arsenicfox]

Don’t make me put your ass in the sealbarrow

[arsenicfox]

When you remember how much you love a character you hadn’t thought about in a while

[arsenicfox]

every day i think about how wild vaporeon would live mostly in the water but come to shore to have their pups (eevee), and then would probably groom their pups in a special way to trap air bubbles in their soft fur to make them more bouyant so they can float unaided on the water. and then as soon as the eevee have control of their little legs they're being taught how to swim, so you could come to a lake at a certain time of year ans see a vaporeon swimming around with a tiny soaked eevee paddling along behind it like

[arsenicfox]

[arsenicfox]

You see them the moment you enter the room — two silvery eyes flashing white in the gloom.

[arsenicfox]

being a scavenger animal must be so fucking great. imagine if every time someone died a new restaurant opened up downtown.

[arsenicfox]

x / raymond carver

[arsenicfox]

How did you train your cats to not wake you up?

By rolling over and stubbornly feigning sleep if they did.

Their brains are little cause-effect engines. If standing next to your face and yelling until you feed them doesn't actually produce that result, they'll eventually stop doing it. You just have to outlast them.

[arsenicfox]

[arsenicfox]

the weed dispensaries should ask if you would like to round up your purchase to donate to PBS. and if you say yes you get to scan a QR code that gives you 30-day free access to the full run of antiques roadshow. this is how drugs can win the war on drugs again.

[arsenicfox]

recently came across some plates and bowls that would be perfect for a children's hospital

[arsenicfox]

thinking about creatures.

[arsenicfox]

I get that sex and drugs are fun but even im like. at least have a 3rd thing. at least one more hobby. you can have a 3rd hobby. this isnt a purity thing this is a some of u are fucking boring thing.

[arsenicfox]

thanks google AI i'll keep that in mind!

[arsenicfox]

Today I cried a little bit because I remembered that when Beethoven conducted his ninth symphony for the first time he got a standing ovation and one of the sopranos had to turn him around to see the audience. 

[arsenicfox]

people without any whimsy scare me. why are you like that. where are your trinkets.