arson-ghost

[arson-ghost]

new Snoop Dogg track "Frot Till U Nauseous"

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when my dad’s nervous he watches the game from outside

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"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

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sometimes i feel ive got to

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i love saying Yay. literally Yay!

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asking "hey is it fine if I smoke in here" and before you're able to answer I've already set up a full rack of salmon over a fire in your living room

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one must imagine sisyphus with heavy milk-filled tits

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you know how when you go out in the middle of the woods, your phone loses internet service? that is because the trees naturally protect you from the evil dark energy rays generated by influencers and twitter opinions. follow for more information about the beauty of nature

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every morning I wake up and think of these words from philosopher cher

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i need you to understand every time you show up in my notifications i feel the need to rewatch the otgw highwayman scene. i think about that man constantly and im not sure if it’s because of your icon or because he is just generally iconic but regardless i would like to thank you for that constant reminder

HELL YEAH

[arson-ghost]

babygirl are you a cigarette

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[so horny my penis is whistling like a tea kettle] what? i cant hear you over my penis

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collecting posts of this type

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embarrassment has good bones

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I hope this email finds you, binds you, ties you to a pole and breaks your fingers to splinters, drags you to a hole until you wake up naked, clawing at the ceiling of your grave

[arson-ghost]

i wish swimming was something you could do alone in your bedroom.

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was so well-behaved the dentist let me put my fingers in his mouth too