arsonchaoschild

[arsonchaoschild]

WAIT PHIL IS SO RIGHT THE DIAMONDS IN THE MINECRAFT MOVIE DO LOOK LIKE THE FUCKING BREAKING BAD CRYSTAL METH IM DYING

[arsonchaoschild]

[arsonchaoschild]

"what groceries u been into recently" is actually a great question, there's a bunch of good conversations inside it

[arsonchaoschild]

gmod dog

[arsonchaoschild]

somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

[arsonchaoschild]

[arsonchaoschild]

one time my mom and i were talking about autism and she said if i got it from anyone i got it from my dad, a man who has been buying and sorting pokemon cards for several months straight and likes to memorize license plates and then quiz my mom on them. and then she remembered that my father is not actually biologically related to me (#childofdivorce) and lost her shit laughing. i got that proxy autism

[arsonchaoschild]

drinking water when I have a headache should give instant relief. it should go away. what's even the point of drinking water if it can't do that

[arsonchaoschild]

they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

[arsonchaoschild]

Since being diagnosed with cancer my husband has become very willing to step into arguments at his workplace and elsewhere because “nobody wants to be seen yelling at the guy with brain cancer” and so far his success rate is shockingly high.

[arsonchaoschild]

do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"

[arsonchaoschild]

[arsonchaoschild]

Unreliable narrators need to add something to the story. They aren’t an excuse for poor storytelling and inconsistencies.

[arsonchaoschild]

[arsonchaoschild]

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

[arsonchaoschild]