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🌈rice🌈

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so my sister's dog is very very wary around new people, barking and circling and hiding behind furniture, and i haven't seen this dog in 3 years since before i transitioned. i.e. i went from futch aunt to bald james flint, so i'm like, ah shit, i'll have to introduce myself to this dog all over again.

so im sitting on the ground very non-threateningly as The Creature is circling with her tail between her legs. and then i remember something the adoption agency told me when i first adopted my blind dog, Loki. they said "talk to him ALL THE TIME!! dogs learn who people are by the way their breath smells! nobody knows that."

so i think. Oh, excellent. and I grab The Creature by the face, pull her toward me, and blow air straight into her nose.

AND IT FUCKING WORKED.

her mouth opened into this big old smile and she immediately started wagging her tail like "oh, it's you! Hi! sorry. something changed, but idk it doesn't matter anymore" and she was an unstoppable cuddle bug aftter that.

anyway psa if you've transitioned and are visiting a dog who you once knew, breathe on their face.

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every time i see anything blue pink and white i think "oh transgender" and this makes the world so beautiful. pink/blue/white packing peanuts? well now they are packer penus

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pride month!!!

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The police pull my lifeless body from a lake but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water

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Just saw a post asking how tall people are and now I want to make it a poll. Apologies to people in the fringe height categories, you do not get specifics.

I had to consult a chart for this

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i know her heart was in the right place but my mom wrote this in the funniest way possible

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Insane that Uber sends push notifications like "Hey, don't forget you can schedule a ride!" As though my use of Uber isn't predicated on zero public transit and no available car. As though I'm gonna see the notification and chuckle like "Ah what the hell, let's do a quick ride around the block"

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Bright red sky after a storm when I was working at Walmart a few years ago. Still one of my favorite pictures

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I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do the dishes!

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chuckling indulgently.. oh go on... i suppose a LITTLE bit of monica in my life wouldn't hurt

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guys why are we starting a trans women v trans men thing this is so dumb

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I dunno man I thought it was pretty clear with where it stands, maybe you're just stupid?

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MY BEAUTIFUL ITALIAN ELF GIRL

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283,000 likes………giant meteor strike the earth rn holy shit. oh my god.