artemastra

[artemastra]

“You can tell a lot about a person by the way they leave.”

— Nils Brandstädter | (Journals - How it ripped out my heart)

[artemastra]

02/16

On this day, I come to realize my value as a person. Maybe. I am just someone that can be disregarded if no longer needed. Maybe. Is it the reason why I try so hard to stay in control most of the situations around me? Maybe. That's my only purpose?

I don't know, today I realize that I was a nuisance. A disturbance to someone's daily life. Or maybe I had become so dependent on that person that I can no longer see what I do without them.

Maybe, someone can enlighten me. Someone help me. I don't want to stay in the dark for too long. Save me from drowning.

[artemastra]

Funny how fast the tide has change.

Our lives drifted away far beyond each other's shore.

Never setting foot on the island we once promise to stay.

I hope you live well.

With the dreams that you turn to reality.

Without me. Without us.

[artemastra]

How to diminished the feelings of regret? Knowing that it should have been me. The life that he started should be with me.

The pain of knowing that regret.

[artemastra]

Let it consume you.

Eyes never lie.

[artemastra]

“I don’t think there’s anything sadder than when two people are meant to be together and something intervenes.”

— Walter Bishop

[artemastra]

she said even if you had all the proof, you still wouldn’t believe me

because you don’t want to

[artemastra]

“I wanted to forget the past, but it refused to forget me; it waited for sleep, then cornered me.”

— Margaret Atwood

[artemastra]

Then he came...

On a bizarre moment, he walk towards that door and locked eyes.

He saw me, the vulnerable and meek parts that no one knows.

I was scared.

[artemastra]

Don't speak of trust.

You're the one who break it.

[artemastra]

Wandering out in this situation again, maybe, I was a shelter in the rain. When the raindrops are not dripping from the skies, I am left alone standing on my own, no goodbyes. Sorry if I was not that slow burn type of love, for I am intense, ranging and scorching brave. Immensely attached to your touch and warmth, craving something more than just your heart. So forgive me, If I cause you to melt like a lit candle wax, Leaving char marks on your soul running through cracks. Wishing you well on all paradox and chaos within us, prioritizing and maintaining your calm is a must.

-astra

[artemastra]

I still wonder if I am capable of love, or that I am just a wandering soul used by many that love is no longer an option.

[artemastra]

Hmm where do we go if we don't want to be found. Just wanna get lost and never come back. I want reality to just continue without me.

[artemastra]

I can act, as if I'm so in love with you; when I'm just really toying with your feelings.

[artemastra]

why do people have to talk so much? why can't we coexist in silence?

[artemastra]

The saddest thing about falling apart is not the separation itself. It is the constant reminder of one self that there is no longer us. The lingering memories sipping through the mind that gives a glimpse of happy memories. That's what makes it hard. The memory.

[artemastra]

I can never tell, maybe I just like the thought of it. And it comforts me.