arualclosean - Tumblr blog

[arualclosean]

Someone said "tornadoes aren't fucking around" and I thought, "I think all tornadoes do is fuck around."

I saw one take a garage off of two cars without moving or even damaging the cars. I saw one pick up an SUV and place it unharmed in a reasonable parking place four miles away. I've seen multiple tornadoes decide to fuck this house in particular in a dense suburban area. I've seen a tornado appear out of a blue sky. One picked up my grandparents garage and moved it six inches to the right and the next year a different tornado put it back. Neither took a shingle off the thing. They are literally just mischief.

[arualclosean]

Unironically the biggest death knell I heard for twitter was the fact that, as far as anyone is aware, there are no longer any furries working at twitter.

[arualclosean]

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

[arualclosean]

tumblr? tiktok did not like this video.

but y'all?

i think y'all will know what to do with it.

[arualclosean]

[arualclosean]

Doctor, suggesting a replacement because it looks like insurance won’t cover seeing them “I referred many patients to XYZ and never heard from them again.”

Me, stunned “I don’t think that’s the endorsement you think it is. You know how many awful fairy tales have the line ‘and they were never heard from again’ in them, right?”

Doctor, trying not to lose Professional Voice and failing “Ha hahaha *cough* I didn’t mean it like that. You have such a great sense of humor! Ha ha ha ha.”

Me, patiently “Did you ever see or hear from any of these people after referring them? As opposed to other places? A “Thank You” or a request for files or need for a consult or asking you to fill in while the new one is on vacation or anything at all?”

Doctor “No. Wait, let me think. No.”

Me “Is that normal?”

Doctor “No.”

Me “Can you see my concern?”

Doctor, sounding quiet “Yes, I’m sure they’re fine, but now that you asked, I’ll check my records for other care providers.”

Me “Fairy tales are cautionary tales. I’m concerned for the patients you referred to this other Doctor. Their chances seem grim.”

Doctor, not laughing “I understand.”

Me “If you can’t find anyone you’ve referred, you might want to check nearby ditches.”

Doctor makes choking noise “I want to laugh at that, but you’ve got me worried.”

Me “Yeah, well.”

(Silence)

Doctor “I’m going to check on a few people I referred to them.”

Me “Yep.”

— two weeks later —

Doctor “I won’t be referring anyone to that provider again.”

[arualclosean]

[arualclosean]

Their favorite fits..

[arualclosean]

*I cast Slander Person at 9th level, making everyone think you drive a cybertruck*

[arualclosean]

#campaignmanagerjosh Season 6 Episode 21

[arualclosean]

despite what popular opinion may lead you to believe, some rocks actually do have scientifically-proven auras! Unfortunately, those rocks are uranium and the aura is cancer. 

[arualclosean]

[arualclosean]

people keep trying to make "ladies and gentlemen" more inclusive.

I think we should go the other way around.

make more and more weird false dichotomies in greetings. "gamers and pianists". "oil painters and swordsmen". "vexillologists and entomologists". "chess masters and diamond artificers". "accountants and gendered individuals".

we need to be dropping shit into formal meetings to make people say "wait what? which one am I?"