arwainian

[arwainian]

i mean the only reason egg jokes used to make me uncomfortable is that as a very feminine trans guy the idea that a guy being feminine means he must secretly be a girl made me feel not great but then i realized its like. not about me lmao

o7

and for what its worth, there is almost always more to it than just "being feminine", as people seem to assume; things like dissatisfaction and a poor connection to one's body, which might be signs of dysphoria, and seeking out transfeminine people, are what I look for first. It's not running around assuming everyone who's feminine is a woman.

[arwainian]

beatrice muchadoaboutnothing is a trans woman: a brief treatise

thematically, i think in a play about the social vulnerability of women, having a character be a trans woman just makes sense as a way to provide depth to that idea. specifically, i love the concept of beatrice's view of men being informed by her own experiences as a closeted trans woman (it's amazing what people will say in front of you when they think you're one of them) and as someone later facing sexism and transmisgoyny.

usually when someone does a trans reading of this play/character, they look at beatrice's famous speech about wishing she was a man and interpret her as a trans man, which is perfectly valid! but this idea started for me with the simple thought that i wanted an out and accepted trans character to play with rather than a closeted one who cannot transition, just as a matter of personal preference at that particular time and with this particular text. but then i kept thinking.

as above, the concept of beatrice reading men for filth in the context of having lived among them is great. the "oh god that i were a man" speech is extremely disparaging of men and what they claim to be vs how they actually wield their power. what she wishes is that she had the power that men have automatically in her society--felt all the more keenly because there was a time when she was able to wield that power and she gave it up to be happy, to be herself, to be free in a different way. (here is where i sometimes imagine beatrice regretting ever transitioning, believing that her own happiness and health is less important than having the power to protect hero's happiness and health, because i love angst.) but now that the worst has happened, she is reduced to begging a man for help and it's demeaning and infuriating and tragic.

i also love turning on its head the line "i cannot be a man with wishing, therefore i will die a woman with grieving." being a trans person, dealing with internalized transphobia, knowing that transitioning will put a target on your back, wishing you could just be the gender you're born as--but no amount of wishing will make her not a woman. i think she loves herself and her gender but the play is focusing on points of conflict so that's what i'm talking about here.

in a play about misogyny, the vulnerability of women, and the hypocrisy of men, a trans woman has a unique perspective on both masculinity and femininity both as genders and places in society. (in the ideal version, i think john would be a trans man to mirror this experience, but that would require him to be rewritten to have actual depth and personality and all that is a different essay). there is also just a particular kind of strength that comes from having to carve out and defend your identity in that way which i think fits her very well.

lastly, a couple of other miscellaneous things from the text that can tie in:

beatrice recounting "a double heart for his single one" meaning both "i loved him twice as much as he loved me" and "i loved him as two people: [birthname] and beatrice"

benedick insisting he wouldn't marry her even if "she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed." Adam, not Eve. in MY illustrious opinion, this is benedick saying "i don't care HOW big her dick is i'm NOT gonna marry her."

[arwainian]

[arwainian]

Initiation by Alethea Faust

goodreads | storygraph

Magic is a rare gift that only exists in the bloodlines of the rich, the royal, and the reputable. Dominai of Airedale, a poor hunter and forest guide, is barely one of those things. But after a moonlit encounter with the wizard Allisande, Dominai's life is changed forever. She reveals that Dominai has magic in his lineage and provides him with a letter of introduction to the Crux, the center of magical study in the Kingdom of Straetham. Magical study is a far cry from the dusty tomes and rituals Dom was expecting. Instead, it is sex and desire, submission and surrender, loyalty and love, and, above all, trust. But when the trust of the Crux is betrayed, Dom must face his own insecurities and the unknown to protect his new home and his fellow wizards.

Mod opinion: I haven't heard of this book and while I personally am not interested in it, it sounds like it could be interesting if you enjoy BDSM fantasy!

[arwainian]

i've been saying this meme aloud to my friends and family for years now and i realized i never put it into text format so i'm subjecting you all to it.

[arwainian]

Love the sight of a random "cis guy" with classic online signs of noncommittal identity and presentation increasingly showing up in my notifications on a website, like a small scared animal slowly and cautiously approaching your outstretched hand with food in it, testing if it's safe to take the offer. Love seeing the following list slowly include more of my trans friends. It's like. Yes, it's safe, you're welcome here

[arwainian]

okay now that we’ve a had couple lesbian blockbusters and milfs are having a romance moment, we need to bring back the manic pixie dream girl. she was never fuckin suited to fixing all the problems of some boring twenty year old everyman, but you know who could actually benefit from a quirky free-spirited blue haired girl with pronouns (she/they)? a newly divorced forty-something mom who’s trying to learn how to be herself for the first time in her life

[arwainian]

see i think the thing is a lot of people think that "trans woman" is a gender separate from "(real) woman"

[arwainian]

snoopy and miffy told me they are a femme4butch couple in real life

[arwainian]

Daryl Cagle, November 23, 2003

[arwainian]

I know I'm preaching to the choir but like. You know you can wear masks for other sicknesses. Not just covid. If you have the flu or a cold or a stomach bug you can still wear a mask to help prevent the spread of it to others if you insist on going out! I just think it's the polite thing to do

[arwainian]

resting

[arwainian]

i must not stir the pot. stirring the pot is the notifications-killer. participation in the discourse is the little-death that brings total activity obliteration. i will face the bad opinions on the internet. i will permit them to pass over me and through me. and when they have gone past, i will turn the block button onto their source. where the discourse has come from there will be nothing. only i will remain.

[arwainian]

being so fucking worried that a foot fetishist may see your toes and jack off about it that you start censoring your feet online and treating them like a perverted thing and being weird about seeing other people’s feet is fucking weird puritan behaviour and i really wish the general internet hadn’t gotten that far

[arwainian]

algunos de los países de la Unión Latina Espacial

[arwainian]

being on doxxing terms with a tumblr mutual is kinda funny like we met at yaoi university and now an year later we both know each other's exact locations

[arwainian]

did some math based on adventurer's bible stuff about average sizes of tallmen & half-foots & the canon heights of the characters and. chilchuck is the half-foot equivalent of 6'5