as-above-so-below--69

[as-above-so-below--69]

The underlying reason why christians worship Jesus rather than God.

The mind requires there be objects to place awareness upon. The self identifies via how it relates to those objects. There is no concept or object of God by which to be able to place awarness upon, meaning that they cannot directly worship God. This is where Jesus comes in. Jesus, being a man, can be attached to as he has an expression within reality. Christians can then identify with Jesus and relate back to them. In this way, there is a deification of something by which they can aspire to be like, which they would likely do more often if they were not convinced that they can never become like Jesus, so they attach to an impossible to attain standarn that can never be achieved. See Jesus as a man that the self can transform into and know it is possible

[as-above-so-below--69]

Why is it that we all struggle with ourselves?

It is not the self we war with, but the truth. The self's identity is based upon it's ability to persevere. This is what occupies the self's energy and attention. More often then not, this priority runs antithetical to the truth of things, as to be aligned with what is means letting go of all that is not. Goals, possessions, strivings, cravings, judgements, pride, ect. Aligning with what is means facing embarrasment, humiliations, being seen, feeling vulnerable and intimate. All that which creates joy and a feeling of aliveness are with truth. Be honest, despite the outcome... always

[as-above-so-below--69]

We seek to fulfill our desires not so much to obtain what would cause positive sensations, but to end the unpleasent sensations of a future not yet experienced. This is the case with responsibility, purpose, mission, cravings, fantasy, fear and any other concept that brings us a state of intense internal sensations. What we are seeking is that a something become nothing. For a charge to become discharged. For a self-concept to be realized through its expression in the physical reality.

[as-above-so-below--69]

During meditation today, I experienced a state of euphoric bliss following a process of letting go of what arose within my mind. I continuously placed my awareness on whatever came up and recited "I let this go". It took some "time" but after awhile I was able to absolve the mind to such a degree that only the the thoughts that were helping me get to the present moment remained. At that point, I placed my awareness upon those thoughts, which resulted in being fully in being. With this comes a contentment and serenity that produces its own high. I think "being with Spirit" is an apt phrase as it is just me and consciousness spending time together in the present moment. From this state, I can simply choose to be happy and feel the effects of achieving something that makes me happy without having to do anything.

I used to have many goals and desires. Now, my only desire is to be present and have the presence of the present so I can offer that unconditional love and serenity to myself and those around me. I have a ways before I get there more routinely as there are many identifications and attachments that still corrupt my consciousness. Those will be purified as this journey continues. I feel very happy right now as I ponder the notion of being in being. No longer do I have to strive for desire or run from pain. All I want is to he present. Any aspects of my self structure that desire otherwise are within the illusions and ignorances of the mind. I am grateful that I had the enlightenment experience around a half a year ago. Now I know what I really am and with that comes a certain freedom as instead of chasing goals that are fleeting, I can seek the goal of being, which is always and cannot never be.

There was a time where I saught to be the incarnate of wiadom and to know the mysteries of life. I have been fairly successful in that pursuit but it made me very lonely as the more I discovered about the nature of self and our sufferings, the more seperate I felt from humanity as I saw how deeply ignorant we are of the way we operate. Now, I seek to become the incarnate of unconditional love and service. This too is very difficult and isolating as the self does not like unconditional. It abhors freedom as it is fear that perpetuates the self and it is fear which causes us to control others. The goal of being love and service are very much worth it as I can feel fullfilled and with a sense of purpose in loving others as they are, which is what we all desire. We all desire to be happy, healthy, wealthy and free. I would cherish nothing more than to aid in supporting others in their desires to be fulfilled.

[as-above-so-below--69]

Question to contemplate:

When referring to ourselves, we use these reflexive pronounds to describe an object. "Myself" "yourself" "ourselves". If we are the self, who is this 'My', 'Your', or "our' that are possessing the self?

[as-above-so-below--69]

What is this voice that talks in this mind or this one writing this post? It speaks to me yet is not me as I am the one listening. Saying "me" is not quite accurate when referring to the one observing experience as "me" is a function of and is not the true "me". The self writing this post is a concept of mind created to do something. What is the something?

What motivated me to begin this blog is to have an outlet for which my efforts in uncovering the nature of self and consciousness can be seen. I will attempt to be as honest, clear and accurate as possible, yet it will be very challenging to convey what only direct experience can discover. Until then, you may think of me crazy when I say "This self does not exist" or "This self's function is to not die. It is fear".

Consciousness cannot be conveyed with words as words are symbols that represent experiences and are not the actual truth they represent. Words are the method by which different minds may tranfer data to one another. These functions are the workings of the mind and whenever the mind is in operation, the truth cannot be known, as what is is outside of mind. What is is, anything more than that are the meanings and values we ascribe to objects in order for mind to comprehend how these objects relate to us.

The only way consciousness can be known is for it to be personally discovered via uncovering the present moment. Only the present moment exists. The past and future are aspects of mind. The mind knows past and can have concepts of the future but experience of either is always now. When the past is remembered, it is being remembered now as an experience. When the future is conceived, it is being experienced as a desired outcome. Now is all there is and ever can be. Now is the is-ness of what is.

[as-above-so-below--69]

Past insight on the experiencer:

-It experiences everything impartially. There is no preference of experience. So long as an experiencer occupies a specific point in space-time, it will experience anything whith its contextual field.

- Awareness can obfuscate experience. It can lessen certain experiences by getting involved in those it agrees to attach to. Even so, the experiencer can only experience. Any preference, emotion, thought, reaction, mood that experience elicits is also experienced by the experiencer and is not the experiencer

- the self/created persona/identity works with the body and mind to carry the experiencer to have experiences

-A baby can be used as metaphor for the experiencer as it is what is before any other development within the self structure. The baby is also vulnerable and defenseless, like the experiencer that does not have protection against experiences unless ones awareness focus' on content that is for its well being

[as-above-so-below--69]

What is the voice that talks? This voice "within" me is quite perplexing, as when delving into the nature of its origins, it seems to have none. A stream of words that come from nothing and go into nothing. How can it make sounds when nothing external occurs to create the vibrations to enter my ears and be converted to sound? There seems to be no answers to these questions, or the answers have yet to come to me. These require further contemplation. What I do know is that the voice is not me, as there is me listening to the voice.

Who, or what is listening? I have had an enlightenment experience, which has given me a direct consciousness of this listener. Words do very little to convey what this listener is as "it" is. I know that I can't know who is the one experiencing as the one experiencing is without direct observation. It is the observer. An observer cannot observe itself.

[as-above-so-below--69]

Today's contemplation was on what we call awareness or attention. This seemingly 5th limb like component of us that we can direct at will, like placing an arm on a doorknob, so to can we place our awareness on a door knob. Who is this me that directs awarness or an arm? I don't really know. What I have come to understand about the one operating this self is that it is not within the scope of mental understanding as mental understanding is a function of the operator and not the operator itself. I know it is not the self as I would still exist regardless of my identity and social preservations. I know it is not the mind as there was an experiencing of life before the mind developed faculties to make distinctions and concepts. As far as my experiences are concerned, they all (absent dreams) are strongly associated with the body. Perhaps I am the body, but then how could I explain dreams. I seem to be capable of experiencing dreams and mental conceptualizations that have little to do with an external reality.

Qualities of awareness:

- I am able to place it on any part on my body, which creates a staticy sensation

- I am able to move it fluidly throughout my body, as quickly as a hand rubbing up and down the arm

- The longer I place my awareness on something, the more identified I become with that object. My consciousness can get involved into that something to such a degree that everything else is irrelevent until the involvment ends

- Threats, real or perceieved, Take priority and hijack awareness until it is resolved.

- Awareness can be manipulated, which capitalism is acutely aware of and engages in doing so regularly to aquire profit

- Addictions and compulsions hijack awareness as well, leaving us compelled to act against our higher knowings. They imprison our awareness and compell us to act

Does this make awareness a more fundamental aspect of who we are then body and mind? I think awareness is synonymous with willpower or the capacity to act. Free will is then the ability to place awareness upon anything we choose, without distraction, compulsion or manipulation. Recovery from addiction is then a reclaiming of our will and focus.