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ash5monster01 · 2 days ago

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aghhhh yessss let’s goooooioo

the edges of your soul (I haven't seen yet) ⭐︎ chapter seventeen

⭐︎ Now I'm racing for what to do, all roads lead me right back to you

Warnings: hurt/comfort, a few sprinkles of angst, kinda mean!Eddie, mentions of depression, uh... don't know what else to add

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: Your night with Aaron didn't only change your relationship with Steve -- it also brought chaos upon the whole group, leading you to make a drastic decision that might be for the sake of everyone.

Word count: 13k+

Author's note: Me and @hellfire--cult say; you're welcome. Roe wrote the bestest part, aka everything that came after that moment hehe

series masterlist ⭐︎ previous chapter

☀︎

After a week of standing still close by the gates of the community, the RV is finally running again. Filled with gas and two extra gallons provided by the community, along with supplies – food, water, medicine, ammo, and a new rifle.

Nancy is already in the driver's seat. Having said goodbye to Tommy already, she spared herself the awkwardness of engaging more with him in front of Eddie and Steve after spending the night with the older man. She is tapping the steering wheel, looking into blank space as she waits.

Eddie, who is sitting down on the steps of the RV, nodding along to Tommy’s advice for the road ahead, can’t seem to find it in himself to focus on what the man is telling him, not when his friend looks like he is about to die.

Steve is leaning against the side of the RV with his arms crossed. His knee is bouncing as his eyes are stuck on the road ahead. Waiting and waiting, waiting for you. His heart keeps pounding painfully in his chest. His mind racing with all kinds of thoughts. Ones he doesn’t want to think about. Ones he is afraid of. What if you decide to stay here after all? What if you decide that Aaron should be the one to take you to your family and bring you back here with him?

The thought pains him. It causes shudders to run down his back. It fills him with dread and sadness, but also with anger.

What would he even do if you said you are not coming with them… with him?

Would he be able to do anything about it? Would he get desperate enough to ask you to stay with him by telling you the truth about his feelings?

Steve brings his hand up to his hair, running it through it nervously. He takes a deep breath, though it does little to calm him down. Only when he finally catches sight of you, walking down the road and to where he is standing, does he feel like he can breathe again. That is, until he sees him.

Aaron is walking beside you, holding your hand. He feels like his breath gets knocked out of him again. He knows he should look away to spare himself the pain of watching that, but he can’t.

Eddie pushes himself off the steps when he sees you. He clears his throat, trying to catch Steve’s attention, but the brunette is set on you. His eyes are glued on you. Eyes filled with sadness and pain.

He doesn’t look away. He can’t.

“Morning.” Aaron nods at Steve, who doesn’t even acknowledge him, only you.

But you aren’t looking at him, nor at Eddie, who is trying to make eye contact with you, but your eyes are on the ground. The metalhead can’t tell whether it’s shame etched into your features or regret, but he can tell that you don’t feel comfortable standing here in front of Steve while having your hand held by the man you spent the night with. With the man you didn’t want it to be.

“Brought you your sunshine back.” Aaron says, squeezing your hand as he briefly glances at Steve, who is still not looking at him.

Tommy, who is standing on the side, looks down, chuckling under his breath.

“Thank you, I was starting to think she would ditch us and stay here.” Eddie jokes, still looking at you.

And when you finally look up, he notices the same exhaustion on your face that he sees on Steve’s.

And Steve, he sees it too. He wants to feel relief so badly, but he knows the exhaustion can have two very different meanings. The latter makes him feel nauseous. He doesn’t want to think about it. His mind was swirling with the sickest thoughts all night. He doesn’t want to let it consume his mind again, not when you are back and here, ready to get back inside the RV with them. With him.

“Never.” Aaron chuckles, looking down at you. “The offer was on the table, but I think she prefers you guys.”

Steve’s mood sours even more. And he can’t help but huff at Aaron’s words.

Eddie notices one thing, and that is how your smile doesn’t reach your eyes. You avoid Steve’s eyes, especially.

“Yeah, I’ll stick with my friends.” You say softly and look up at Aaron, giving him a small smile, but still big enough to make Steve’s heart ache. “But thank you, Aaron… For everything.” Your words have deeper meaning, and Steve knows that. It only worsens the pain in his heart, knowing that you have shared special things with another man. He doesn’t know whether he wants to scream or slam his head into the RV. He knows he should look away from you and him, but he can’t.

Aaron nods, giving you a soft smile and another squeeze to your hand before he lets you go.

“Anytime, Darlin’.” He nods, tipping his cowboy hat at you, making you smile a little bigger.

“Alright, are you ready to go?” Eddie asks you, wanting nothing more than to put his best friend out of his misery.

“Yeah. I’m ready.” You mumble, still not looking at him.

You turn towards Tommy and step towards the older man. You bid your farewells and thank him for all he’s done for you and your friends. He shakes your hand and gives you a warm smile, telling you that the gates will always be open for you and your friends.

You feel a bit awkward having to say goodbye to Aaron in front of Eddie and him. You can feel his eyes on you. His gaze is burning into your skin, and not in a pleasant way. You know he watched you last night, when you were dancing with Aaron, when you kissed him. You didn’t look at Steve after, not even when you left with him. You couldn’t. And now you can’t either.

When you turn back to Aaron, you notice that he is looking at him. His chin tilted down a bit, eyes filled with emotions you can’t read. He isn’t glaring, nor is he looking at him cockily, none of that. There is something in his eyes, something only directed at Steve. And when he looks back down at you, his eyes flicker with different emotions. His lips curl into a smile again, and he takes a step forward, opening his arms to you.

“C’mere.”

Your cheeks heat up when he reaches forward, taking your hand into his own. He pulls you towards him and away from Steve. He wraps his arms around you and gives you a tight hug. Leaning down, his lips brush against your ear, “be careful out there for me, alright?”

Steve squints his eyes. He clenches his fists, digging his nails into his palm. He takes a deep breath. He feels unsure of what he feels. Anger or sadness? He isn’t sure at this point. But he knows one thing: it hurts awfully to watch you be held by another man.

“Always.” You whisper and squeeze his waist before you pull away. You look up at him, intending it to be the last time. You say goodbye with a smile, but he has different plans. Before you can let go and step away from him, Aaron cups your cheeks and caresses your cheekbone with his thumb. His eyes flicker between your eyes and your mouth, and then he leans down and presses his lips against yours. He says goodbye with a kiss.

Steve’s heart drops to his stomach. The same nausea from the night before rising up in him. Anger fades away so quickly, and dejection settles in instead. His nails no longer dig into his palms. His chest no longer feels tight from rage. His eyes aren’t glaring anymore. All he feels… is pain.

Eddie squeezes his eyes shut when he sees the expression on Steve’s face. He was mad at him before he knew how he really felt about you. Now he can’t feel that anymore, not when he is suffering like this. He can’t bear those eyes.

Steve stares at you, at the back of your head. He watches. He watches how another man holds your face and kisses you. That’s all he can do. Watch. He knows he should move. He knows he should turn around and get inside the RV, wait for you there. But he is frozen. Stuck in place.

Just like you, if he looked closer.

When Aaron pulls away, he brushes his knuckles against your cheek.

“Remember to contact me once you arrive so I know that you’re safe. And if you need me to come pick you up, use the coordinates, and I’ll do so.” Aaron says, looking into your eyes deeply.

“Okay.” You whisper, nodding.

“Okay.” Aaron nods and leans down once more, this time only giving you a short peck instead of a full-blown kiss. It’s still enough to make you blush, to make you flustered beneath his eyes.

You squeeze his wrist and give him one last smile.

“Goodbye, Aaron.”

“Goodbye, Sunshine.”

His smile looks a little mischievous, his wink too. You can’t tell what he is trying to say. But his eyes flicker between you and Steve.

Steve, who isn’t even looking your way anymore when you turn to look at him, is facing away from you.

If only you saw the tears in his eyes that he is hiding from you.

You take a deep breath and look around one last time before you turn around and make your way inside the RV. You don’t know how much longer it will take to get to Nevada. You don’t know how much more pain you will have to bear till then. But you know that the rest of this journey won't be an easy one.

“Hey Nance.” You say softly, smiling at the girl in the driver’s seat.

She drops her map and turns to face you. You have seen her this morning, sneaking out of Tommy’s room with hickeys on her neck. She froze when she was met by the sight of you standing by the window and sipping on a freshly brewed coffee. You expected her to get awkward, but instead she smirked your way and told you that a girls talk was much needed.

“Hey, you.” She smiles, eying you up and down. She leans her elbow against the steering wheel and points a finger at you. “We’re still having that conversation later.”

“Yeah, yeah…” You whisper, growing flustered beneath her blue eyes. You don’t get to say much more because Steve stomps inside after you. He brushes past you and makes his way over to the couch. He sits down, refusing to look your way, and maybe it’s for the better, because you aren’t sure if you want him to look at you.

Eddie walks in too, after saying his goodbyes. He waves at the two men one last time, giving them polite smiles before he shuts the door and locks it. He breathes in deeply and looks over at Steve.

The worried look in his eyes makes you tense up, even more when the metalhead glances at you with emotions he hasn’t shown you before. You don’t know why, but it makes your chest ache, and it makes you unable to look at him longer. You force your eyes away from him and look down, awkwardly making your way to your seat, which was next to Steve.

Eddie watched you intensely. His brown eyes take you in as he tries to read the expression on your face and the obvious tension in your shoulders. He wants to ask if you are okay, but then he looks over at Steve, who is looking out the window, refusing to turn towards the front of the RV, and he decides against it.

With a sigh, he turns around and makes his way over to the passenger seat. He plops down and grabs the map off Nancy’s lap, only briefly glancing at the girl who is shaking her head at him in confusion. Her eyebrows are furrowed. Confusion and irritation were written all over her face.

“You gonna drive or not, Wheeler?”

Eddie’s voice was cold. The coldest you’ve ever heard. You never thought you would hear him talk like that, and much less towards Nancy, who looked just as surprised, and even hurt. She stuttered a bit, not knowing how to deal with Eddie’s sudden anger.

“I– Yes, I’m– Yeah.” She turns the engine key, and the RV comes to life. Steve was still not looking your way, and you felt nauseous as the motorhome rocked side to side. You weren’t going to be able to stand it, so you got up, and rushed towards the back where the bed was, creating distance between the two of you once more.

Steve felt his heart collapsing at how quickly you moved from his side. How quickly you couldn’t stand his presence. Just one minute passed since you sat down next to him, and it was enough.

He stared at the floor, unable to speak, unable to move and Eddie noticed. His eyes moved from the map and towards Steve. He sighed, putting the map down, his eyes turning to look at Nancy who was driving.

“Change of plans. You go to the back, have your girls talk, while I drive and Steve is my copilot.” At his words, Nancy frowned, looking at him before staring back at the road.

“What? We– That’s not how we planned it– You can’t drive, your leg–”

“Well, I am changing it, and I can move my leg. So, stop the RV, and let me drive.” Steve’s eyes were wide at Eddie’s tone, finally noticing the change. He saw Nancy’s curls bob a little as she shook her head, slowly stopping the RV to get out of the Driver’s seat. Nancy didn’t even glance towards Steve as she passed, and the brown haired man could hear a sniffle following right behind her steps.

He heard the sliding door close, and Eddie stepped into the Driver’s seat, putting the radio on, for the very first time, and his cassette. Steve’s eyes widened, pushing himself up from the couch, and rushing to the passenger’s seat, shaking his head.

“Eddie, we can’t use the radio, it drains the battery–”

“You really wanna hear that?” Eddie’s eyes were knives towards Steve as he buckled himself up. The brown haired man trembled slightly at the realization that Nancy and you might be talking about last night. He certainly didn’t want to hear that. He shook his head, sitting on the passenger’s seat and buckling up, before grabbing the map.

Eddie started the drive again, and the music of various metal bands filled the air. Steve frowned, looking at his friend.

“How did you get this?”

“Remember the barista? Back at the community? Yeah, he gave me a copy of his playlist. Fucking cool, isn’t it?” Steve nodded, looking back at the road as he felt the emptiness start to consume him a little.

“Everyone made at least one friend in there, huh.” Eddie cringed at his friend’s words, sighing.

“No one would have been able to handle all the Harrington charm.” He joked, and Steve shook his head, frowning.

“What?”

“Especially that grumpy attitude, and those amazing eyebags you have.” At Eddie’s jokes, Steve rolled his eyes.

“Wow, thanks for that man.”

“Just trying to cheer someone up here.” Eddie stated as he whistled along the screaming that was coming out of the speakers. Steve cringed, looking at his friend again.

“Couldn’t you have at least gotten a tape that– I don’t know, would have been to everyone’s liking?”

“Aw, are you sad we don’t have Madonna in here?” At that, Steve finally cracked a small smile. A small victory on Eddie’s side. “Maybe I did get other cassettes, but I’m saving them for special occasions.”

A beat of silence fills them after those jokes, the RV moving back and forth as Steve stares at the map. Clearly, Eddie didn’t need guidance. He had already inspected the map before, and Eddie had a good sense of direction. He always did. But maybe Steve was hallucinating. Maybe he was panicking, but he swore he heard Nancy’s gasp, or a laugh. So he made conversation again to add to the music.

“Why… the sudden change of attitude?”

“Come again?” Eddie asked, as if he hadn’t noticed himself how he was acting recently.

“You were a little… harsh? With Nance?” At Steve’s words, Eddie shrugged, shaking his head.

“Really? Didn’t think so.” Steve couldn’t help the uneasy feeling in his chest. He looked out of the window, knowing he won’t get Eddie’s thoughts out of his mouth any time soon. A pang of pain in his head interrupted his own though. He felt himself become a little light-headed as he looked at the road, the sight of it dizzying him. “Steve?”

“Huh? I’m– fine. I just got a little dizzy, that’s all–”

“You mean the lack of sleep. Try to get some–” But Steve immediately interrupted, holding onto the map tightly, looking down at it.

“I’m fine. Keep driving.” Eddie glanced at his best friend for a few seconds, then his eyes returned to the road ahead, his grip tightening on the steering wheel as anger filled him. The feeling of helplessness. The feeling of pure fear of losing Steve.

And no one else but him noticed.

Eddie was having a bad day. At least that’s what you told yourself on the first day of being back on the road. He was unusually quiet with you. He barely talked to you, and he barely looked at you.

You thought that he got off on the wrong foot that morning, that maybe he didn’t want to talk, that he wasn’t feeling well, or just having a bad day like you or Steve, or even Nancy had before. But then the second day passed, and the third, and he was still not… his usual self.

A weird energy hangs in the air. It makes you feel uncomfortable. It makes you feel guilty, and you don’t know why. You didn’t do anything wrong, did you? But taking a look at Nancy, and seeing those sad blue eyes follow her best friend, who barely talks to her these days, makes you feel like it is your fault… somehow. You don’t know if something happened between them, if they had an argument or a disagreement when you weren’t around, but something tells you that you are the reason for the way he is treating her.

Her eyes are sad whenever they fall on Eddie, but they are filled with anger when they lock with hazel ones. Steve cowers away every time her ice cold glare hits him.

He doesn’t even look at you – only when you aren’t looking at him. His eyes are glued to you every chance he gets when you are busy with something. They roam your face and your body. Those eyes filled with longing would break your heart if only you caught him.

It’s snowing outside, strongly so. The wind is heavy too, making it impossible for any of you to sit outside for dinner the way you did all these days. When you and Nancy ate your dinner at the small table in the RV, Steve and Eddie left to eat theirs outside. In those three days you have been on the road, the four of you haven’t sat down to eat together once. Tonight is the first, and it feels awkward. Nobody is talking. The only sound filling the RV is the scraping against plates and the howling of the wind outside.

Eddie is staring at his bowl, shoving down his food with an irritated look on his face. Steve’s eyes are glued to his food as well, though he doesn’t eat as fastly as Eddie does. Nancy, who is sitting beside you on the sofa, is picking at the beans while your plate is completely untouched. Your stomach is empty, but your appetite isn’t there at all. The thought of even picking up your fork and taking a bite makes you feel nauseous.

You look down at the map, looking at all the possible directions to take to get to Nevada. You know you won’t get home any time soon, but you know that some roads would take you there faster while others wouldn’t. Some could bring unwanted obstacles. A hoard of infected that you somehow managed to avoid so far. A tree blocking the road, forcing you to take another exit. Monsters. Another snowstorm. Unfortunately the map can’t provide you with this kind of information.

“You should eat.” Nancy says softly, nudging your shoulder.

“I’m not hungry.” You mumble, not looking up from the map.

Steve glances at you, worriedly looking between your untouched plate and your face. He notices the dark circles under your eyes. The line between your eyebrows. The tired look deeply into your features.

His heart aches. It constantly aches now after he lost you. You are right there. You are right in front of him, and yet it feels like you are gone. What he would do to feel you in his arms again. To hold you and–

“You should still eat.”

You tense up at the sound of Eddie’s voice. The roughness and coldness in it being so clear. It doesn’t only make you freeze.

You look up to find him staring at you intensely. His brown eyes which are usually filled with warmth, are… cold, just like his voice is.

“I said I’m not hungry, Eddie–”

He slams his empty plate on the table, making you flinch a little.

“Yeah, you said the same this morning and last night. You are not eating, you are not sleeping. If you keep going that way, you’ll get sick again and hold us back. Do you wanna see your family or not?”

Your eyes widen and you open your mouth, though your mind is empty and you couldn’t form a sentence if you tried. His words feel like a slap in your face. The hurt residing in your chest is deep enough as it is. To feel such anger from someone who did nothing but defend and comfort you till now feels awfully painful. He had never been angry at you before. He had never done anything to make you doubt how he feels about you. Eddie had your back from the start, back when he knew barely anything about you. He was the one who fought for you to stay with them, and now… this?

Steve’s heart aches at the sight of your shocked expression. His sad eyes soften when he notices the hurt flashing in your eyes. He froze at Eddie’s words.

“Okay, what crawled up your ass?” Nancy finally snaps, dropping her bowl on the table the way he did as she glares daggers into her best friend, having had enough of his attitude and the silent treatment he is punishing her with. She felt nothing but sadness for the past few days but now she can’t help but feel angry. “What is your problem?”

Eddie closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he turns to face her.

“I am not talking to you.”

“Clearly!” Nancy scoffs, shaking her head at him. “You are being an asshole.” She snaps, having had enough of this.

You blink, snapping out of it. Your eyes meet his for just a second, but a second enough to see the worry and the pity. God. You don’t need that. His eyebrows are furrowed as he continues to look at you, and you can’t take it. You force your eyes away from him.

“Right.” Eddie scoffs.

“No, you’ve been an asshole since the party! Giving us the silent treatment and only opening your mouth to be a jerk… really, Munson?” Nancy exclaims, tilting her head to the side as she stares at her best friend. Her words come from anger and despair, but her eyes say something else. Something Eddie can’t even see through the haze that he is in.

You look between them, and when you see the way they look at each other, the way they never did before, your heart starts pounding a little.

“That’s rich coming from you.” Eddie laughs humorlessly.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Nancy snaps, squinting her eyes at him.

“You were an asshole first, Wheeler. You were a real asshole.” Eddie mumbles, and for the first time in days, you see something other than indifference in his eyes. You see disappointment towards Nancy.

And you see the way Nancy freezes as she gets quiet for a moment. The realization sinks in when her eyes flicker over to Steve, only for a brief second.

The lump in your throat grows, and your heart starts pounding a little faster when you look between them. Did she say something to him? Did they argue when you weren’t there? Did she hurt him?

Anxiety creeps up on you as your eyes flicker back and forth between them, noticing how Steve avoids her glaring blue eyes, no ounce of remorse or guilt in them, while his are filled with sadness.

“With good reason.” Nancy murmurs under her breath, shaking her head at Eddie.

“Really?” Eddie scoffs as he leans forward. “If you really think so then I have every reason to be disappointed in you.”

The fear that you have been the reason for all of this turns into harsh reality at his next words.

“You took care of someone you met just months ago, when the one who has been here for years should have been your priority.”

There have been many moments in your life when you have felt like your heart stopped beating, when the pain was so deep that you froze and could only stare. Harsh words have been thrown at you before. Friendships have been broken. Friendships that were only ever one-sided. People you gave your everything to, dropped you without batting an eye, replacing you without a struggle.

In the end it was only ever you. No matter how much you tried, you never found people who wanted you.

You found something real here. You found them. Eddie and Nancy, who took you in, invited you into their home without a moment of hesitation. And even Steve, who despite his efforts to push you away, let you in.

It was good. It was nice. For a moment, you had everything you ever wanted. You can’t believe that the reason for it to fall apart would be yourself. And even worse, it didn’t only fall apart for you. It’s falling apart for them now too. They are falling apart.

The lump in your throat grows bigger and bigger, cutting off the air to breathe. Your eyes start burning with unwanted tears as you look between Eddie and Nancy. Their voices are faded now as they still argue. All you see are the angry glares they throw at each other while Steve looks helplessly between them.

Your ears start ringing, and your chest starts hurting so badly when you take a good look at him.

He is suffering.

He is suffering because of you. You broke that friendship between you because you couldn’t control your feelings.

Nancy is suffering because she is on the way to losing her best friend, because of you. Because she was angry at Steve for hurting you, because she chose your side when she shouldn’t have. You never wanted this. You never wanted her to pick a side. You never wanted her to be angry at him.

“Sunshine?”

You snap out of it. Blinking a few times, you look up at him to see him eyeing your face. His hazel eyes are filled with worry, and you can’t take it. You can’t.

Nancy and Eddie pay no attention to you or him; they keep snapping at each other. Your name is never mentioned, and Eddie doesn’t throw you in directly, but you know that every jab is meant to be directed at you.

And you can’t take this anymore.

You can’t watch them fall apart anymore.

You can’t let yourself be the reason for them to lose one another.

You get up and storm away, not noticing how Steve was ready to run after you, thinking that you were about to go through the door and out into the storm. But he settles back into his seat when you lock yourself in the bathroom.

You grip the edges of the sink as you take a deep breath. One look in the mirror is enough to cause those tears to fall. An indifference towards yourself growing deeply. The sickening feeling in your chest keeps spreading as the realization sinks deeper and deeper.

Of course, you had to ruin that one good thing in your life.

And you dragged them down with you.

But you can’t, you won’t keep doing that. You won’t ruin what they have. You won’t add further damage.

So, despite the pain and the heartache, your next decision is an easy one.

Steve is sipping on what must be his third cup of coffee, though it does little to take away his exhaustion. He is tired, more than ever before, but he can’t sleep. Every time his eyes close, cruel pictures invade his mind. Nightmares that only ever consisted of Robin and how he could not save her are now replaced with you getting ripped away from him, and every time it happens differently, leaving him to feel more afraid after each nightmare.

He is sitting by the fire, across from Nancy, whose eyes are practically burning with rage. He felt small beneath her gaze before, feeling the indifference towards him in a whole new way. It makes him feel uncomfortable, but also a little irritated because she won’t even really talk to him. All she does is snap at him and glare daggers into his skin.

It worsened after he saw you talking to her earlier.

The whole day was spent in awkward, tense silence after Eddie’s and Nancy’s fight the night before. Nobody really talked to each other. Nobody really looked at one another. Only when Eddie decided that it was time for a break from driving were you all forced to interact in some way.

While Eddie and Steve prepared a little fire, you had dragged Nancy away from them and towards the little stream Eddie stopped the RV by. Steve couldn’t make out any words that left your mouth, though he saw the sadness on your face from a mile away. His curiosity made him watch the whole interaction, and when he saw the shock and denial on Nancy’s face as she shook her head, his heart fell a little. Despite not knowing what it was that you had said to her, he felt anxiety creeping up on him. Nancy kept shaking her head and fighting you over whatever you were saying, though he could see that you were set on it.

You avoided his eyes when you made your way back to the RV, and you haven’t left it ever since.

Now he is left dealing with Nancy’s hateful eyes as she is cleaning her gun. He wants to glare back at her, but the brunette looks a little intimidating right now, especially with that gun in her head. He is convinced that a part of her wants to aim it at him.

He takes another sip of his coffee and looks around. The little spot that Eddie had picked is beautiful. A hidden little spot in the forest, surrounded by pine trees. A pretty stream where Eddie is sitting by on his camping chair, away from everyone. The sun is shining, melting the snow on the ground. It’s difficult to appreciate this scenery when his heart is aching and his friend group is falling apart.

When he looks back at Nancy, she huffs and rolls her eyes, making him clench his jaw.

“You got something you want to say to me, Nance?”

“Nothing nice.”

Steve scoffs and nods his head.

“Yeah, I figured that.”

“So we can agree that you’re an asshole? Amazing.”

Steve squints his eyes at her. Irritation bubbling up inside of him. He’s had enough of this. He’s had enough of her attitude, and he’s had enough of watching Eddie treat you so coldly. He’s had enough of them picking sides. He’s had enough of them fighting each other, when they were inseparable before.

It’s nice to know that he isn’t the only one who feels protective over you, but he is sick of everything that has been happening after leaving Wyoming.

He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth, though he never uses his voice. The words get caught in his throat when the RV door opens and you come out, stealing his attention. Your eyes meet his for a second, and his whole body freezes when he sees the redness in them. The circles under your eyes are deep and dark. Your whole expression is one of sadness. You have been crying.

It isn’t only his heart that aches at the sight of you, it’s his whole being that aches. He swallows harshly and holds the cup tighter in his hand. The urge to drop everything and rush to your side and pull you into his arms is stronger than ever.

But he can’t.

You break eye contact and move down the stairs as you tug your jacket tighter around your body. You look around for Eddie, and when you spot him by the stream, you start making your way towards him. Ignoring Steve’s eyes on you. Ignoring Nancy’s worried gaze.

You breathe in the fresh air. Nerves running high as you approach the metalhead. You clear your throat to announce your presence behind him, but he doesn’t even look up. He is staring at the water, smoking a cigarette.

You stop beside him and appreciate the view before you for a second, and you take another deep breath before you turn to face him.

“Eddie?”

He only hums in response, not even acknowledging your presence.

“Can we talk?” You ask, hating how shaky your voice sounds.

“Sure.” He mumbles, still not looking at you. He brings his cigarette up to his lips, taking another drag.

You shift on your feet uncomfortably, blinking as you feel your eyes growing hot again. You never thought that you would have to deal with this. You never thought that you would be on the receiving end of his indifference. But he made things very clear last night.

You wait for him to look up, to at least take a look at you, but he doesn’t.

“Can you at least look at me?” You know that you are starting to sound desperate, but you can’t help it. You thought you meant to him as much as he meant to you.

You can see him clenching his jaw, taking a deep breath, and huffing.

Your shoulders drop, and your face falls further. The pain is hitting you harder than before.

“Okay then… I guess not.” You mumble, looking down at your feet as your vision gets blurry. “You won’t have to deal with me much longer.”

At that, his head finally snaps up and he looks at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“What?” He asks, no longer interested in the view before him or his cigarette.

“You barely look at me, you don’t even talk to me anymore. I can tell that you don’t want me around anymore–”

Finally, he stands up and steps towards you. His eyes are big and confused.

“What are you trying to say?” He asks, trying to make you meet his eyes as he tilts his chin down.

You take another deep breath after swallowing the lump in your throat. You look up, still blinking so as to not let the tears fall.

“I already told Nancy… I’m… after I find my way home, I’m taking my family back to Wyoming.”

It’s a decision you didn’t want to make. You wanted to go with them. But you are not going to invade Steve’s home. You are not going to add further damage to a friendship you already managed to break.

Eddie freezes.

His anger filled eyes widen, flashing with confusion and shock.

“W-What? What… Why? You said you were coming with us–”

You shake your head and cross your arms over your chest.

“It’s better for everyone that way. I’m not going to move into a town he is supposed to feel comfortable in,” you point in Steve’s direction before you angrily wipe your fallen tear away. “And I’m not gonna be the reason for you all to fall apart. You were right, Nancy shouldn’t have taken care of me, she should have been there for him.”

Eddie furrows his eyebrows. Guilt flashes in his eyes, and it crashes over him how awful his words must have sounded to you.

“Sunshine–”

You shake your head, trying to stop further tears from falling.

“No, Eddie. It’s okay. I appreciate what you all have done for me, but I won’t stand by and watch you lose each other because of me.” You mumble, your voice getting quieter now as you don’t trust it anymore.

Eddie shakes his head, staring at you, bewildered.

“I broke up the group enough as it is. I’m not coming with you. Final word.” Before another tear can roll down your cheek, you turn around and walk away from him. Every step becomes harder as you make your way back to the RV.

“Sunshine?” Nancy murmurs, getting up from her chair already.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” You mumble, not looking at her or Steve’s way as you make your way up the steps and slam the door behind you.

Eddie stands back for a moment, letting your words sink in. Guilt and sadness rushing through him, but even more so, it’s anger and irritation. You aren’t the reason for all of this. It’s the lack of communication between you and the brunette who keeps staring at you with sad eyes instead of acting upon his feelings. This could have been between you; this should have been between you. He doesn’t know how it all blew up like this. But the moment sides were picked, it all started falling apart, and now even more so.

Do you really think that they will be better off without you?

Do you really think that you mean this little to them that they could just move on from you and act like you were never there?

Do you really not see how they were falling apart before you? How Steve wasn’t even there with them?

He’s had enough.

Eddie takes a deep breath and starts making his way towards his friends. The despair inside of him to fix all of this running deep. He storms his way over to where Steve is sitting. The man looks up at him, with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips parted.

“You need to snap out of it, right now!” He points a finger at him.

“What?”

Nancy looks between them, confused. She draws back a little when the metalhead turns to face her with anger in his eyes.

“You knew?”

She shakes her head, tilting her head to the side, “huh?”

Eddie clenches his jaw, sucking in a deep breath, he tries to calm himself down.

“That she is not coming to California.”

Nancy’s shoulder slumped, and the confusion on her face faded away. She straightens her back and glances at Steve, who looks like he is frozen in place. His hazel eyes are wide, filled with shock and fear.

“What…?”

His voice sounds broken enough to even make her feel bad. She looks down and sighs. The feeling of Eddie’s eyes glaring into her skin, overwhelming her a little.

“She told me earlier… I couldn’t convince her otherwise…” She mumbles softly.

Steve’s whole body is frozen. He is staring into blank space as his mind is screaming at him to do something. Not having you anymore, not feeling you in your arms anymore, not being with you like he was before, is one thing, but losing you completely is another. He can’t go on without you, not like this. He was so afraid of losing you that he didn’t notice that he was already on the way there.

Eddie huffs, shaking his head at this whole situation. He brings his hand up and runs it through his hair. He looks down at Steve, feeling a slight anger towards him again. If only he opened his mouth.

Eddie knows he needs time, but that time is running out now.

He thought that their conversation on the porch the night after the party was a push enough, but apparently not, because he still hasn’t done anything about it.

“What are you going to do?” Eddie asks, forcing him to look up.

Steve knits his eyebrows together, pursing his lips as he shakes his head in question.

“What–?”

“Are you going to do something about it or are you just gonna let her do that fucking shit?” Eddie asks, being fed up with everything.

Steve takes a deep breath. Eddie’s anger is contagious because he is starting to feel it too. Eddie is trying to speak with his eyes, to remind him of what they talked about, to remind him how he felt when you left with another man… just for one night.

“Eddie–” Nancy starts.

“No! Shut up!” Eddie snaps at her, pointing a finger at her. “This has nothing to do with you!”

The girl draws back in shock. Her eyes flicker back and forth between Eddie and Steve. The latter getting angrier each passing second now too.

“Are you going to let her go back to him?” Eddie asks, knowing where to hit him.

Steve’s eyes darken at his words. The anger now is so clear in his features. He sucks in a sharp breath. The thought of you leaving him, the thought of being the reason for you to find your way back to Aaron makes him sick, but it also makes him snap, finally.

“Steve…” Nancy mumbles, seeing the expression on his face. “What are you gonna do?”

Steve slams his cup on the ground, and he gets up. He runs his hand through his hair, huffing as he stares at Eddie.

“Yeah, no…” Steve shakes his head. Everything boils up inside of him, everything and all at once. It explodes. And he is unable to hold it back any longer. “Fuck that shit.” He grumbles and brushes past the metalhead, and he storms inside the RV.

The despair grows inside of him, making the anger so much more intense than before. A mixture of emotions rushing through him, and he can’t even place what exactly he is feeling.

Just as he slams the door shut behind him, you come out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around your body. Your skin is still shining from the water, your hair still dripping. The both of you freeze for a moment, staring at one another.

You notice his expression, it’s hard not to when he stares at you like this, breathing heavily and looking angrier than ever before.

“What–”

“We need to talk.”

You bring your hand up to the knot on your towel, holding it. You huff as you shake your head at him, “there’s nothing to talk about, Steve.” You say as though you don’t miss him, as if you don’t feel anger for how all of this went down.

“Yes, there is!” Steve exclaims, throwing his hands up. “I’m done with this…I can’t take this anymore.” He points between you and himself. “And now I find out that you aren’t coming with us to California!? Were you ever gonna tell me about that, or did you plan to just hop off the RV and pretend like nothing ever happened between us?”

“Nothing happened. You made that very clear, Steve. I thought there was a chance, but you quickly shut that down again.” You mumble in confusion, not understanding what the look in his eyes is for, but you see the rage flashing in them when they notice the mark on your collarbone.

“I–”

“You know why I thought we had a chance?” You ask, feeling irritation spark at you now too. You have thought about what happened many times. You have thought of all the reasons for your unusual courage. You have thought about what Eddie had said about you and Steve before. You have thought about what Aaron had said. “You gave me mixed signals and then you chickened out like a little boy.”

Steve’s eyes widen at your words, having not expected something like this at all.

“A little boy– excuse me?”

“You said I’m childish,” you point at yourself, feeling a rush of sudden anger. “But have you looked into a mirror?”

Steve draws back in shock. This is not how this was supposed to play out. This is not a sight he expected from you, especially not after you stormed inside the RV looking like you were about to break down.

But your anger is so clear on your face now. Your eyes are burning with it, just like his own. The energy in the room shifts into something stronger.

“What did you just say?” He asks as he takes a step towards you.

“You heard me. You’re a fucking boy. You knew how I felt about you, and you still decided to play with my feelings. Friends don’t sleep in each others’ arms, Steve. Friends don’t hold each others’ hands the way we did. Friends don’t do what we did! You knew exactly what you were doing to me!” You finally get it all off your chest. You finally feel your chest decompressing from every single word you wanted to say to him from the moment he didn’t give you a minute’s peace.

Steve swallows harshly. Guilt creeping back into his chest. He now sees what it seemed like to you and it makes him feel like absolute shit but knowing that you found comfort in someone else right after hurts. Someone you are willing to run back to now.

“I did what I thought was best! For the both of us! And you, on the other hand, you behaved like a fucking brat, who didn’t get what she wanted and threw herself at the first guy she met!” Steve snaps, letting all his anger out as he moves even closer to you.

You stare at him in disbelief. You take a step forward too. “You seem to have forgotten what I told you at the mansion! I wanna live my life, Steve! I want to experience things! And I told you that I would do it if given the chance–”

“A chance?” Steve scoffs as hurt flashes in his eyes. “Was that what I was to you? A chance? A possibility?”

“What!?” You almost yell.

“Was I like Aaron?! Was that the reason why you approached me, Sunshine?”

How could he even think such a thing? How could he even ask such a thing? After everything that you have done for him?

Steve’s eyes are so angry, but even through that, you can see something more. You can see the hurt and something else…

“If I only looked for a possibility, then I would have gone for someone like Eddie, not you!”

He scoffs, shaking his head at you, “what is that supposed to mean!?”

“You hated me, Steve. You made sure I felt that, what makes you think that you would have been a choice if that was the only thing I looked for!?” You ask, tilting your head at him in a way that drives him crazy.

Steve’s shoulders slump, and he averts his eyes for a second, letting them fall back on your collarbone again. The evidence of another man’s lips on your body now etched on your skin. A reminder of what he was supposed to have, what he could have had if he didn’t push you away.

How could he have let this go so far?

You are right, you did tell him that if given the chance, you would take it, and he remembers how nauseous those words have made him feel.

And he feels the nausea still, just worse than before. To know that he let you slip through his fingers. To know that he is the reason why you spent the night with him… His heart aches in a way it never did before, and it makes his eyes burn.

“I never– I just never thought that you would actually–” his voice breaks, and he has to turn around, feeling choked up. He feels such anger towards himself that he throws his bruised fist into the wall beside the door.

You stare at the back of his head. Disbelief and shock cross your features as the realization begins to sink in slowly.

A friend wouldn’t behave that way. A friend wouldn’t feel such anger over you spending a night with someone. A friend wouldn’t feel so… so jealous. You can’t help but feel annoyed now.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to act all jealous on me now, Steve! How dare you feel jealous after what you did!?”

Steve freezes. A scoff falls from his lips.

“Jealous…” He mumbles and turns around to face you again, shocking you once more when he reveals tears in his eyes. “Try feeling like I’m being stabbed in my heart, in my lungs, in my stomach, Sunshine! Try feeling like my entire world was flipped and I’m back in the upside down again, only that I’m not, and it feels even worse than that!”

You freeze at his words, at his tears, at all of this. You are confused and you are lost, not following along anymore. All that you can see is a hurt man, suffering because of you, because of his feelings for you. Feelings you thought he did not have.

Your heart starts aching all over again, and your throat closes up on you.

A tear rolls down his cheek as he takes a step towards you.

“I didn’t want to be with you because if something were to happen to me, I didn’t want to be the reason for you to hold back on anything. I already lost someone dear to me, I know how it feels… I don’t want you to go through that too. And the thought of having you, of reaching happiness, of having a life with you, only to lose you… I wouldn’t survive that, Sunshine.” He admits, his voice above a whisper now as those tears roll down his cheeks.

Your eyes are wide, and the anger is replaced with shock now. Your heart is pounding in your chest. Your breath is knocked out of you.

Steve takes a deep breath, sniffling as he takes the final step towards you, cornering you against the wall behind you.

“But fuck… Seeing you with him filled me with as much pain and despair as if you had just died.”

Your whole face falls and pales at his confession. Your heart drops to your stomach as your eyes well up with tears. The guilt that you have felt before now is growing bigger and bigger, burning you in ways you have never felt before.

He never rejected you because he didn’t reciprocate your feelings. He never led you on. He never gave mixed signals. He never– Oh god. You stare at him, at his suffering eyes, at the tears that you have caused.

And Steve can see it. He can see the guilt and the regret in your eyes. He can see the disappointment that you feel for yourself now.

Your bottom lip trembles as you open your mouth to speak.

“I’m… I’m–”

Steve shakes his head as he looks into your glassy eyes.

“Don’t you dare say sorry. Don’t. It– As much as I fucking hate it, there’s no one to blame but me. Don’t say sorry for trying to live your life.”

You sniffle as the anger fades away completely. You can’t even bring yourself to look into his eyes anymore. You tilt your chin down, casting your eyes on the ground.

“Steve… What is… What is the point in telling me all this now?” You whisper, not trusting your voice anymore.

Steve had made his decision. He did the night on the porch after he talked to Eddie. He just didn’t find the courage, not until now. Not until he heard her voice in his head.

‘Don’t be a dingus.’

Steve reaches his hands out to you, wrapping them around your wrists, making you look back up at him. He can see the troubled emotions in your teary eyes.

“Let me go, Steve.” You whisper shakily as you try to pull away, but he doesn’t let you; if anything, it makes him hold you tighter. He takes another step forward, pushing you up against the wall, pressing himself against you.

He is breathing heavily, and his heart is pounding in his chest, threatening to burst through his skin. His eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips.

“I don’t think so.” He shakes his head. He will never let go again, he will never let you slip through his fingers again, he will never let you walk away again.

You feel his tender yet tight hold on your wrists, his skin against your own after so long. You can feel his body against yours. You can feel his breath on your skin. You can feel everything, everything you have longed for.

“Steve–”

“I’m never letting you go again, Sunshine.” Steve whispers as he breaks all the promises he had made to himself and smashes his lips against yours, taking your breath away completely. He cradles your cheeks and kisses you in a way no one ever did before. Passionately. Roughly. Desperately.

It takes you a moment to move, to reciprocate. You are too surprised, too shocked by what is happening. Your heart is pounding in your chest so strongly, you fear that it might explode.

Steve is kissing you.

Steve is kissing you like he’s been craving it for god knows how long.

And the kiss tastes of tears – sorrowful yet aggressive. His lips are soft against your own, his touch even softer. And when it finally really sinks in, you close your eyes and lean into him. You throw your arms around his neck and press yourself against him. Standing on your tippy toes isn’t enough, you place your toes on his boots to be even closer to him. You let go of everything and kiss him back just as desperately.

His whimper vibrates against your lips, sending shivers down your spine and lust rushing to your core.

His heart nearly combusts as he finally feels you. He can feel the way your knees buckle when he deepens the kiss without wasting a second, and it only leads him to hold you tighter. He wraps one arm around your waist, securing you against him.

His large palm covers your entire cheek. His nose bumps into yours as his lips continue to move at a fast pace. He swipes his tongue along your bottom lip, needing to feel you more, needing to deepen the kiss further and further. Your lips are so soft, so perfect against his own. How did he wait for so long? How could he waste so much time? Kissing you feels like everything he imagined and more.

And kissing him feels like everything you have thought it would. It makes you weak in the knees. It makes you ache for more. It makes you crave him more and more and more. You cup his face, holding him with both hands. Your heart flutters when he moans and holds you tighter.

Even as you both grow breathless, you refuse to break the kiss you both have craved for so long, not wanting the moment to end even when you both know that this is just the beginning of it all.

Only when you feel like you are about to pass out from the lack of air do you pull away. You open your eyes at the same time. No words need to be said. Your eyes speak enough words.

“I’m done being stupid.” Steve whispers as he looks at you through hooded eyes. He leans down and pecks your lips. “I want to live.” Kiss. “I’m so fucking scared but I want to live; with you.” Kiss. “I’m done pretending you don’t drive me crazy.” Kiss. “I want you so bad, god, you have no idea what you do to me, Sunshine.”

You whimper at his action, at all the kisses, at all his words. The hope that once bloomed inside of you, rising up from the dead. Your eyes are wide, glinting with a happiness he hasn’t seen in so long.

“Show me.” You whisper, pleading with your eyes. “Please.”

He never planned for this to happen, let alone like this. But who is he to deny you any longer?

He wastes no second to connect his lips to yours again, and this time you don’t hesitate to kiss back right away, making him weak in the knees as well. His heart soars in his chest, beating so strongly out of happiness – just like yours does.

You pull him back and away from the spot you are still standing on and Steve doesn’t hesitate to back you up and towards the back of the RV, not breaking the kiss once, not even as he rips his jacket off and you help him out of it, pushing it down his arms and throwing it on the ground.

He picks you up, his arms around your body, and your legs dangle a bit from the ground, so he doesn’t step on your toes while walking towards the bed, making you whimper into his mouth. He can’t help but smile into the kiss at the sound.

You couldn’t believe that you were finally kissing him, and what this night led to. You felt the edge of the bed at your calves and then he lowered the both of you down, your back hitting the bed. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, tightly, the kiss never ending. If you could stay like this forever, you would. You definitely would.

Steve was trying not to lose his mind as his tongue danced with yours. As your legs spread so he could fit in between. This only happened in his very rare nice dreams. Dreams he had when he only held you close to him. When you two slept with each other. He should savor the first time between the two of you a little more, but his feelings were clawing at his chest, begging to come out.

And you wanted him. You told him to show you, and that he will. He was done denying you. He was done being a fucking idiot. He was done being a walking corpse. He wanted to live, and his only oxygen was you. He loves Eddie, Nancy, the teens… But somehow, Steve knows that you are his reason for living now. As horrible as it sounds, as unfair as it is, but you had carved your way into his soul so easily. Terrifyingly easy.

His hips rubbed into yours, and you could feel him completely because you were naked underneath that towel. You should be feeling shame, embarrassment, but all you can feel now is how happy you are. How much you want this. How much you need him. How much you need to show him how you feel.

He moaned into your mouth, and you never thought you would hear that in your life, and much less because you were the reason for this sound. It’s been a long while for Steve, and rubbing his growing bulge against your naked center, was not doing good things for his brain chemistry… nor his dignity.

But it was a point of no return now. He pulled away from your lips, his breath hitting your lips heavily, his eyes finding yours for a split second. His mouth found your cheek, then your jaw, then he started going down. You gasped when you felt him kiss your pulse point, then nip at it. Shivers ran down your entire spine as your nails dug into his scalp.

Steve was in heaven with the taste of your skin on his tongue. Finally. You were like a forbidden fruit. You were that chocolate you delight yourself on a cheat day. You tasted divine. You were perfect, and he always knew you would be, but now he had the proof of it.

“Steve–” You breathed out, and he hummed with delight as his hips rutted into yours again, the desperation growing at each second.

“Perfect… So fucking perfect, Sunshine…” He mumbled into your skin as he moved to the other side of the neck. His mind flickered with the memory of what’s on your collarbone, so he guided his mouth towards it, and your back arched a bit at the feeling on your sensitive skin.

You gasped when you felt his mouth engulf the mark someone else had left on your skin. Steve groaned, his hands digging onto your waist, fingers printing on your skin through the damp towel. He was going to rebrand you. He didn’t want traces of the other man on you. He had to cover them. Gladly, this was the only mark he could see that needed to be erased.

He made it messy, bigger, red with purple hues all around it. He pulled away to admire his work, and his entire body shook when he saw you underneath him. Your wet hair was all over the mattress, your chest moving up and down, your eyes half lidded, and your lips all swollen thanks to his kisses.

And his mark. Now big. Vibrant.

His jaw clenched, moving downwards again to take your lips with his only for a peck, making you whine when you felt him pull away. He chuckled slightly, his lips moving to nip at your jaw, to then breathe into your ear, his hips now moving in circles against you, and you could only gasp and moan at the feeling of his bulge rubbing against your clit.

“I’m so mad at myself–” And you felt him bite onto your earlobe, making you sigh. “So fucking mad… I wanted to be your first. I really wanted to…” He sighed against your ear and then moved down to kiss underneath it. “But I can work with being your last, so please– Please, Sunshine–”

“Steve–” You breathe out, your nails digging into his shoulder blades, feeling him grow bigger in his pants. He didn’t hear you, or that’s what you thought at least, because you felt him kiss your pulse point again, making a moan escape your lips. “Steve–”

He finally realized you were calling out to him, so he pulled away from you, breathing heavily. His eyes looked down at you, and you could see the fire inside his hazel orbs. How much desperation, hunger, and emotions swerved inside.

“You don’t– Not now–?” You shushed him, shaking your head at him, your eyes finding his lips, you were already missing.

“You… can still be my first.”

And Steve stopped breathing. What did you just say?

“What?” The question came out more cracked than he anticipated, but he couldn’t help it. He really couldn’t. Your eyes were looking up at him, a guilty frown appearing on your eyebrows as you looked away, gulping down your nervousness.

“I– I couldn’t…” And fuck, you didn’t want to cry. You really didn’t, but there were so many feelings coursing through you that you could barely begin to describe each one. Your voice cracked a bit as you kept talking. “I kept– I kept thinking about you… And I just couldn’t… I fucking couldn’t…”

And Steve could sense the hidden anger behind your tone. Not directed at him, but probably at yourself. He had rejected you, and an opportunity presented to you, one you wanted to experience before you passed, or before something happened, and you could not fulfill it because… of him.

How could he have been so fucking stupid? He really didn’t deserve your forgiveness. He didn’t deserve you. You thought of him in times when the only person you should care about is yourself. Steve didn’t deserve you… But even with that knowledge, Steve wasn’t going to ever let you go. He was going to fight to be the man you deserved. Not a boy. A man.

And he felt so selfish for feeling happy about this outcome. He felt so evil for feeling relief out of you not having your first time with that man. He felt so greedy for feeling happy that now, he was the one to experience you first. Hoping he would be the last as well. That you would know of no other body but his.

But then it dawned on him just how rough he was being. How straightforward he was. Fuck, this should be special, and he was acting like an animal. He wanted to wreck you just seconds ago, ruin you for eternity, but now, all he wanted was to make this special. Make your first time be a nice one, almost painless.

So he drew his hips back, and your head snapped towards him again, desperate eyes following, which caught him off guard. Your arms came to wrap around his shoulders again, your head shaking from side to side. He gulped, his hips stuttering with the need to press down again, but fuck– He wanted to be a gentleman.

“Sunshine–”

“Steve, baby, please–” His brain chemistry completely malfunctioned at the nickname. His hips came crashing down onto you, instantly, as if he were magnetized. A moan escaped your lips before you spoke again. “I want it. I want you. Please…”

“Are you sure?” He had to ask and hear that this was fine from your part. His self control was wavering the more he thought of what was about to happen, trying to remember where were the condoms Eddie had jokingly brought into the fucking RV.

You gave him a nod, his hair falling over his face as he stared down at you. The both of you were breathing heavily, looking down at each other, eyes filled with need, with want, with desperation. He gulped as his head reeled with anticipation, his eyes falling to the knot that secured the towel to your chest.

His eyes found yours again, and you gulped, fingers kneading into his scalp softly. You gave him a slow nod again, wanting him to continue. You needed him to continue. You’ve been craving this for too long. You’ve been craving someone like him for too long.

He pecked you once, soft, long, and your belly turned with the amount of butterflies that just burst inside. When he pulled away, his hand moved towards the knot, slowly, fingers grazing over the fabric. He would see you bare. He would be able to drink you in, completely, and his heart could barely stand it.

“Stevie…” And when you whisper his name sweetly, it does it. His fingers hook inside, and he is pulling–

The side door of the RV bursts open, fierce stomps rushing in as well as jagged breaths from your other two friends, who you have forgotten completely about for the past minutes. Or hours. It felt like hours. Kissing Steve felt endless, if you had a say. Steve hissed when he pressed himself completely on you so your dignity would not be displayed to the people who had just entered.

“SORRY, LOVEBIRDS, WE GOTTA GO!!!” Eddie yelled once, not before turning his head to see the display of Steve on top of you on the bed. He wanted to yell in victory, but the slam of the RV’s door closing snapped him away, and he sprang into action again, running to the driver’s seat.

Nancy was breathing heavily, her eyes widening at the scene at the back of the RV, making her squeal and clench her eyes tightly as she rushed towards the folding screen that separated the bedroom from the rest of the RV, blindly waving her hands around to try to give you guys privacy. Steve was frowning, his head looking over his shoulder in complete and utter confusion as Nancy finally closed the blinds.

“What is going on!?” He yelled, and you were still in another dimension, trying to gather yourself again to understand the situation. You could hear Nancy yelling, and then a slam at the top of your head, at the top of the RV. Then another. Your fear creeped in as Steve snapped his head to look up, then the engines came to life.

“EDDIE TOUCHED SOMETHING HE SHOULDN’T HAVE!” Nancy yelled, and you could feel your heart hammering in your chest at the mix of emotions that threatened to send you into cardiac arrest.

“How was I supposed to know THESE FUCKERS CAN REPRODUCE!? I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A NEST!” At that, Steve grew a bit more alarmed, but before he could ask, he was jerked into the bed with you, further up, thanks to the sudden speed Eddie started driving in.

“Shit!” Steve’s arms held onto you as a few slams could be heard outside the RV, and when he looked out the window, he saw the demobats flying next to their motorhome.

“If only YOU WEREN’T BEING AN ASSHOLE TO ME, AND ACTUALLY LISTENED, THIS WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED!” Nancy was still yelling, and your arms were wrapped tightly around Steve as the RV suddenly swerved, turning left, and you squealed when you two started rolling to the right.

“Jesus CHRIST!” You yelled as Steve used his foot to prevent you from slamming into the wall behind you, his arms still around your body, your face tucked into his chest. The slams against the RV became less, and then, there was another swerve to the right, sending you both rolling towards the left.

“MUNSON!” Steve yelled as his back collided with the wall, making a grunt escape him. He was trying to hold you close so that your towel would also not fall from your body. The RV drove fast, steady, rocking a bit, and then he felt Eddie slowing down. He let out a sigh, looking around the ceiling, seeing some dents on the corners from the hits of the monsters, but nothing too big.

“OKAY, I THINK WE’RE CLEAR!” You heard Eddie yell, and you let out a sigh of relief at the same time Steve did.

“You okay, Sunshine?” Your heart never stopped beating like crazy, first from happiness, then adrenaline and fear, and now from happiness again. Steve is in your arms, and you are in his. You gulped, nodding, looking up at him.

“Y-Yeah… I– What the fuck happened?” Steve groaned as he glared at the closed blinds, before looking down at you again. He really didn’t want to let go of you, but he didn’t want you to catch a cold. He kissed your forehead, making the both of you sit up again.

“I’ll find out. Meanwhile, you get dressed.” Your eyes scanned his features, and you couldn’t help yourself when you raised your hand up, moving his hair away from his eyes, and he felt the air being sucked away from his lungs at your gesture. He took your lips with his in a gentle kiss, short, pulling away when the two of you heard grunting on the other side.

“Don’t let them kill each other…” You softly spoke, and he huffed, shaking his head. He gave you one more kiss on your cheek before standing up, and moving the folding screen so he could walk out. Nancy and Eddie shut their mouths when Steve closed the screen again, a glare in his features as he walked towards the front.

Neither Eddie nor Nancy was looking at him. They looked guilty and nervous. From what Steve gathered, it was Eddie who started it, so his hand found his friend’s shoulder, feeling him stiffen underneath him as the grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“Munson.” Eddie gulped, clearing his throat, knowing he fucked the most amazing opportunity up for his best friend.

“I– Uh… Well, what happened was, Harrington–” But Nancy cut him off completely.

“He was being an ass, and I told him he should not touch the glowing thing in the cave–”

“A cave, Mrs. Wheeler, here, walked in first, by the way–”

“I didn’t put a gun to your head to follow me in!” She yelled back, to which Eddie glared at the road, scoffing.

“Oh, so you want me to just watch my best friend enter a dark cave, all by herself!?” He spat back, and Nancy fake laughed, shaking her head.

“So, now I’m your best friend!? That’s so fucking rich–!”

“HEY, HEY, HEY!” Steve finally yelled, waving his hands around, trying to stop them from talking, and Nancy looked at him, while Eddie closed his mouth. “So, what the fuck happened?”

“... I– I didn’t know it was an egg…” Eddie finally confessed, and he gulped as he continued, “It was just so shiny! And it looked like a pimple! I just–”

“Don’t tell me you popped it like a pimple, or I swear to god–” Steve closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, but Eddie remained silent. Nancy was quiet for a few seconds, knowing Steve was growing angrier, and even when she didn’t want to defend Eddie… She couldn’t help herself.

“On our defense… It’s the first time we've found a nest that belonged to them…” At her words, Steve finally sighed, letting the air out. Still– His hand came flying to the back of Eddie’s head, making him headbang once, and then he pinched Nancy’s nose, making her squeal and swat him away.

“This is what you get for being stupid. Both of you.” Steve wasn’t going to say it out loud, but he also wanted to strike them for interrupting him. He felt eyes on him, and he saw Eddie looking at him through the rear-view mirror. “What?”

Eddie started wiggling his eyebrows at him, which only made Steve blush, and cross his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes. He suddenly remembered, he was supposed to take over with Eddie, and that meant he wouldn’t be able to be with you. He felt his heart quickening its pace at the prospect of leaving your side again, but, Nancy… She would be awake for 24 hours straight if he changed his spot with hers.

“Nance, you… You should uh… Go to bed.” Steve started, trying not to wince from the pain of those words. Nancy scoffed, shaking her head.

“As if it weren’t obvious enough, we are changing places.” Eddie’s eyes widened slightly, worry flashing over them. Steve stuttered a bit, shaking his head.

“No, that’s– You need to sleep–”

“You need to sleep.” It wasn’t an insult or a bad joke. Nancy looked at him with serious eyes, her lips pressed together, as if stern. “So, we are changing places.”

“... She is right, Steve.” Eddie commented, his eyes not leaving the road as he drove. Steve’s jaw clenched with conflict, about to try to talk Nancy out of it, but then she continued, straightening up again on her seat, looking out the window.

“Plus, it gives me private time to talk a bit with this asshole here, who is also my best friend… so…” Eddie huffed a laugh, but didn’t complain. Steve looked back and forth on them, knowing they did in fact need to talk, but Nancy’s health also mattered.

“I know more than anyone what lack of sleep can cause–”

“It’s just 24 hours, Steve… I’ll be fine.” Nancy gave her final word of it, and Steve knew it. He sighed, the RV rocking slowly now as Eddie kept his eyes on the road. He then talked, interrupting the silence between the three of them.

“Big boy, they’re in the cupboard below the sink, by the way.”

“Huh?” Steve asked, completely confused, and Eddie smirked, looking over his shoulder as Steve leaned in, the scene all too familiar.

“Condoms.” Steve blushed a deep red, smacking the back of Eddie’s head again, eliciting a pained groan from the metal head. Nancy tried to hide a giggle, putting her palm over her mouth.

For a split second, everything was normal again.

“Steve?” Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, his heart stopping for a second before he turned around to see you peeking out from the folding screen. He could feel his body warming up again, knowing he would hold you tonight, sleep with you, just sleep with you, was enough to make him believe he was the luckiest man in the world.

He gave Nancy one last glance, and she gave Steve a nod and a soft smile. The first smile after days. He felt the corner of his lips tug, turning to finally walk back to you. He closed the door behind him, and you were already tucked in bed, sitting, waiting for him.

Your eyes followed him when he opened a drawer from underneath the bed, taking out his sleep shirt and sweatpants. You licked your lips in anticipation, wondering if he would change in front of you or not. Should you cover your eyes? Maybe? You’ve seen him shirtless, sure–

The moment he took his shirt off, embarrassment filled every inch of your body. You hid your face in your bent knees, against the comforter. You felt your stomach doing somersaults, and you could feel a tornado inside of it as well. Privacy. You are giving him privacy.

And Steve was planning on going to change to the bathroom, but since you were hiding yourself already, which he thought was cute, there was no harm in changing here. You are so shy now. He noticed it. Your voice when calling out to him was small, doubtful. He took his pants off, his eyes never leaving your form to check if you were peeking or not, and he put his sweatpants on, followed by his shirt.

“You can uncover your eyes, Sunshine.” He chuckled when you looked up at him, and he could see just how flushed you must be. He crawled into the bed, sitting next to you. “You already saw me in my underwear, and I saw you, remember? No need to be embarrassed…”

You whimpered at the memory, looking away from him as you felt your cheeks burn a thousand degrees. You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed, bashful, too nervous to even look at him, despite what almost happened between you two.

“Those were– very different circumstances…” Steve hummed a bit, now realizing what you meant. He had to take it a bit slow, at least until you were relaxed around him. He leaned towards you, pressing a kiss at the top of your head that made your heart jump into your throat. Your eyes found his, and after so long, after so many weeks, he finally smiled at you.

“Hi, baby.”

Those words coming out of him made your entire body melt. Your fingertips grew itchy, with the need to touch, and your lips became dry. It was more than just the nickname. It was the smile you had been missing for so long. The smile that had disappeared from his features, was now back, and it appeared when he looked at you.

Your eyes filled with tears, yet you gave him a soft smile as well, your nose bumping his.

“Hi, Stevie…”

☀︎

FINALLY. HUH?

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#ashley’s fic recs #steve harrington x reader #stranger things angst #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington #steve harrington smut

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ash5monster01 · 8 days ago

Text

can’t decide if I love or hate that you came back, breaking my heart like this for the first time in a year 😭

Party 4 U

steve harrington x fem!reader // situationship

🎶 I was hopin’ you would come through, it’s true, it’s true, I only threw this party for you.🎶

summary: Steve hasn’t returned any of your calls the past two weeks, but Harrington never misses a party.

word count: 4k

warnings: 18+ heartbreak (I mean it’s based of party 4 u and also a little bit of my personal life), emotional cheating kinda, the classic I have to let you go because you don’t realize you’re in love with someone else trope. a little self destructive self aware delulu at the end. kissing. drinking and smoking. also lots of Eddie! 🎸

authors note: my first full fic in over a year 💕 i missed you guys and i hope you enjoy it.

With only a few more weeks of summer left. Everyone in Hawkins was chasing the last bit of those 9 pm sunsets and the freedom they bring only three months out of the year, which made convincing your two roommates to throw a last minute party easy. In fact you were so casual with it, they didn’t even notice the way your canines dug themselves into the skin around your nail bed the moment they both squealed ‘yes!’ in the kind of excitement that would usually be contagious, because who doesn’t love a house party?

Steve Harrington lives for a good house party.

The boy they had warned you about four years ago when you first moved to Indiana, the former king of Hawkins high, and now the current king of Hawkins Community College. A crown that he wears begrudgingly, but a crown with privilege nonetheless.

In fact the warning was so intense, you heeded it like your life depended on it, even when all the stories seemed far from the goofy guy you’d pass in the hallway or see laying out in the courtyard with his fast talking, daily nail color changing best friend, Robin. You stayed strong when he started saying “hi” on your daily passes to class flashing you his perfect pearly whites in jeans that fit him a little too tight. You even held it together when his big hand would spread out in a wave across the lawn in an effort to catch your gaze. His mossy green eyes lingering just a little longer on your thighs whenever it was warm enough to wear shorts no matter what animated thing his best friend was saying.

But at the beginning of May when you stumbled into your house at the crack of dawn after an end of year party with tequila fresh on your breath and his teeth marks decorating your neck, they had to warn you again.

’Everyone who grew up here knows he’s always going to be in love with Nancy Wheeler.’

’He’s never going to leave Hawkins, and you’re moving after college.’

’I think he’s probably dated or asked out every girl in this town at this point. Do you really want to be added to that list?’

Two weeks ago, you couldn’t wait to tell them how wrong they were. That you weren’t the fool they warned you’d become. Not when you’re falling asleep under the stars with him, a blanket that had been shoved in his trunk laid out while your heavy lids win under fingertips that trace the warmed soft skin of your face from a day out in the sun on the lake. You couldn’t be, not when you woke up to sleepy hazel eyes at the crack of dawn and that messy mane of hair at the top of his head somehow even more chaotic than before with a slow lazy smile pulling up at pink lips that constantly beg to be kissed.

There was no way something that feels like this would just go away with a couple hundred miles in between it when the time had to come.

But, that was two weeks ago, and multiple unanswered calls later.

You can start to hear the bells on your jester’s hat beginning to jingle in the distance. Taunting you, just like the sound of his voice mail but you don’t dare to tell them.

Strawberry pink skies bleeds into a dark plum as the setting sun kisses the tops of the swaying trees outside, the chilly breeze that only reveals itself at night in Indiana hits your sticky skin in a welcomed reprieve from the open front door. Anxiety tickles at your subconscious, while glittery fingertips tug at the bottom of your short dress, soft thighs sticking together underneath the thin cotton fabric despite the temporary chill. You’d been standing at the top landing for longer than you’d care to admit, eyes scanning the crowd of rowdy college kids for any signs of him.

Your house vibrates with the energy of twenty something’s on the cusp of the rest of their life, all mega watt smiles and blushing cheeks thanks to the keg Eddie Munson set up in the backyard next to the pool. A kind gesture and a ploy to get with one of your roommates, you just didn’t know which one because he actively flirts with both. It didn’t matter to you tonight, because your new mission was to get that joint you knew he had tucked behind his ear long forgotten since hiding it there before he left the trailer park, because the idea of Steve not showing up has you gnawing at your bottom lip so hard it might bleed.

Making your way through the crowd, there’s an anger that simmers just below the surface and you’re not sure if it should be directed at yourself for letting him get under your skin, when you should’ve known better. Or if maybe, he should take the blame, because the lack of communication on his end comes with realizations shrouded in the kind of sadness you’re not equipped to handle yet. Still, you look for him, smiling and nodding at a few people that you recognize zig zagging through the makeshift dance floor all the way to the kitchen.

At any party, you can always find Eddie Munson by the cheap bottle of tequila, a beer in hand and unlit cigarette dangling dangerously at the edge of his mouth debating peoples music taste. Which typically is annoying for everyone involved but it’s perfect tonight because not only do you need a shot to go with your much needed THC, he needs to finally smoke that cigarette, and whoever he’s trapped needs to be saved.

“There she is! I thought you locked yourself away in your tower for the night.”

The metal head grins wide enough to see his signature dimple poke the side of his cheek when you walk in, and sure enough that Marlboro red is hanging on for dear life. Heather Halloway sees this as her escape route and quickly shuffles out, she is a big New Kids On The Block fan and you know he can’t stand them.

”Thought about it,” you shrug with a small smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes, “pour me a shot?”

Eddie studies your face long enough to know something is off, so he pours you a double in a red solo cup instead.

”That’s funny cause, I heard this party was your idea.” He arches a brow, offering you the shot with a hand decorated in chunky silver that catches in the fluorescent light.

”Maybe.” You play nonchalant, downing the whole thing without warning or time for him to give you any kind of chaser which you usually demand with a look of disgust on your face any time you catch a whiff of alcohol.

”Jesus Christ.” Eddie huffs, finally knocking the dangling cigarette from its resting place but his reflexes are still quick enough to catch it, “not maybe, that’s literally what I was told when I was invited.”

”Ooo which one invited you?” You tease, making his cheeks turn pink.

”That’s neither here nor there sweetheart,” He tries fighting a grin before forcing a serious look on his boyish face, “what’s going on here? What’s wrong with you?”

Your stubbornness kicks in, giving him a shrug staring down into your empty red cup, not wanting to reveal all your pathetic cards just yet.

”Pour me another one,” you sigh, finally meeting his big brown eyes, “and then I’ll tell you.”

Eddie contemplates the idea of telling you no because he’s a firm believer of not drinking when you're sad but, he also thinks about the consequences of actually telling you no. So he pours you just a single, in which you down just like the first one tossing the empty solo cup in the trash with a small burp before pointing to the joint behind his ear.

”Also, I wanna smoke that.”

The metal head looks confused for a minute before his eyes roll up towards the joint he had indeed forgotten about, a realization that makes his lips curve up.

”You’re needy tonight aren’t you?” He teases with every intention of giving into you, the nicotine in his fingers calling his name “to the bonfire we go then.”

Goosebumps pebble across the skin that’s not lucky enough to be warmed by the flames in front of you, but the big inhale of your first hit that fills your lungs does what the fire can’t do. The temporary rush to your head settles the anxiety that’s been clawing at your chest for days and you relish in the relief for a little bit before finally confessing your secrets to Eddie under the starry night sky.

”It’s Steve.” You say simply, defeat evident in the way you roll your shoulders back and take your second hit.

”Harrington? Wait, you two are a thing?” He practically chokes on the smoke of his Marlboro.

”It’s new-ish, I mean since right after graduation.” You shrug, desperately trying to come off as nonchalant, refusing to meet his eyes.

”Three months? You and Harrington have been bumping uglies for three months and I never figured it out?!”

“Eww Eddie! You are making me regret this, oh my god.” Embarrassment sets your cheeks on fire, and you take another big hit to get rid of it.

”I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Raising his hands in surrender, the smirk that pulls up his full lips makes you want to punch him, “just not what I was expecting, I mean, good for you. I’ve heard…things.”

”EDDIE!” You huff standing up, smashing the burning end of the joint into the brick surrounding the bonfire, putting it out.

”Sorry! Sorry! Don’t go, please I’ll stop!”

He does his best to sound serious in between small giggles, metal bound fingers grabbing your wrist to stop you from leaving. Your desperation to finally talk about it has you forgiving him quicker than usual, but not without a glare and a heavy roll of your eyes, before you flop back into your chair.

”I can’t stand you.” You complain with a cross of your arms.

”You love me.” He grins, clearing his throat, “so, what’s going on with Steve?”

For some reason hearing someone else say his name makes the dull throb in your chest ache just a little more. Swallowing your pride, you even contemplate re lighting the joint before confessing, but ultimately decide against it.

”I haven’t heard from him in two weeks. I’ve called him a few times, nothing, you know, crazy or anything, but I’m getting pretty familiar with his voicemail.”

You hope that Eddie can’t hear the bitterness in your tone, the anger from before starting to bubble again.

”That’s weird, I literally just saw him yesterday at Wheeler’s house. They’re moving Nancy out, and he was helping everybody. He seemed fine, I mean I’d even say a good mood.” He says casually taking a long drag of his cigarette, not realizing that he just confirmed your worst fear with two simple sentences, punching a hole in your gut.

It’s too late for damage control when realization dawns on Eddie quickly adding in a panicked, “Jonathan was there too!”

But that part didn’t really matter, everyone who’s familiar with their history knew that.

”Umm, I’m uh, glad to hear he’s doing good. Not hurt or like, kidnapped.” There’s no hiding the crack in your voice, and you refuse to meet the pity in Eddie’s gaze that you can feel burning a hole into the top of your head.

”Hey, I’m sure it’s not like tha-“

”EVERYONE JUMP IN THE LAKE!”

Eddie’s attempt at easing your worries falls on deaf ears, both of you jumping at the sound of Patrick McKinny’s very loud exclamation, followed by an even louder round of cheers as most of the party starts running down from the house in a blur of clothes tossed into the air along the way. Conveniently ending your conversation with Eddie at the perfect time.

‘Everyone who grew up here knows he’s always going to be in love with Nancy Wheeler.’

“I’m gonna go with them, thanks for the joint.” You don’t wait for him to answer, getting up and quickly blending in with the crowd, before he can stop you.

The heartbreak tightens in your chest and restricts the air flow to your lungs, the corners of your eyes stinging because how could you be so wrong? How could you be so sure that you were the exception to the Steve Harrington rule?

You blink back tears nearing the edge of the lake, haphazardly kicking off your sandals, letting the soft waves lap at your toes, before taking a shaky breath finally lifting your eyes. The lake is full just like the people swimming in it, water splashes accompanied by playful screams and the kind of smiles that glow under the silvery moonlight. Carefree chaos orchestrated by you, but somehow you’re the one with heavy shoulders, and a broken heart. A plan that was doomed from the start, a truth you knew deep down after day two of his radio silence.

The water is colder than you thought it would be, but you don’t let that stop you from continuing deeper, only getting used to the temperature once you’re waist deep. A shiver runs down your spine, and you plug your nose before throwing all caution to the wind fully submerging yourself. Because who cares at this point?

It’s quiet under the water, and the party that surrounds you becomes muted in the peaceful darkness and it feels like you can finally slow your thoughts down for the first time since Eddie opened his unknowing mouth. Folding your knees you let yourself sink deeper, the soft cotton of your dress clinging to your curves like a second skin. You extend your arms out, spreading your fingers, feeling the soft water between them, letting the gentle currents soothe you. Cursing your need for oxygen, you ignore the screaming of your lungs for as long as you can, basking in your solitude for just a few seconds longer before planting your feet on the rough sand beneath you pushing yourself back up.

It’s almost jarring how loud the party is when you breach the surface, wiping the water from your eyes, you notice how many more people jumped in after you. It makes you wonder just how long you were actually under, especially with the way every deep breath you take stings in your chest. Pushing your hair back, a twinkle in the stars catches your gaze, craning your neck, you try and get a better look. Tugging your bottom lip between your teeth, you pick your feet up, letting the lake cradle your back. Floating. Weightless. Just like you.

The sky expands the more your eyes adjust, and it’s easy to get lost in its beauty just like your thoughts that come racing back. The sadness that you feel now, you know is a temporary kind of pain, because you had a whole life before Steve, and you’ll have another one after him. But it all hurts just the same, mourning the part of you that day dreamed the summer away about a future that might include him too.

’He’s never going to leave Hawkins, and you’re moving after college.’

It’s not Hawkins, that Steve won’t leave. It’s Nancy. He’ll wait here till her inevitable return when her new life with Jonathan implodes in on itself because anyone with eyes can already see the cracks in their foundation. He’ll help her pick up the pieces of her broken dreams and meld himself into them with her new ones. Everyone else between now and that fated moment is just here to pass the time. Practice for the main event. You’re just a visitor in Steve’s long path to the one that got away, whether he knows it or not. There’s a part of you that’s not so sure he even sees it yet, because putting her first has always just been second nature.

The thought is enough to ease some of the anger, but sadness just fills in the gaps, making the corners of your eyes sting again. It takes you a minute to hear it, too lost in your own head to realize the man that’s consumed every waking thought is calling out your name. Your reaction is stalled, heart racing because your plan actually worked after all of this. Your toes find the sand, pushing yourself back up onto your feet, and you hate that you meet his gaze almost instantly. Eyes locking together like two magnets searching for each other, and the smile that pushes up his cheeks makes your chest tighten and not in the way you’ve grown so fond of.

He waves excitedly like he hasn’t just dropped off the face of the earth the past two weeks to help his ex girlfriend move. You wiggle your fingers just barely above the surface and you know your smile doesn’t meet your eyes. He’s either too far to notice or is completely oblivious because the shine of his pearly whites doesn’t falter while he lifts his shirt over his messy bed head making you suck in a sharp breath, and another one when his jeans hit the grass too.

Of course Steve Harrington is coming to unknowingly stomp all over your heart some more in nothing but his underwear.

His skin looks tanner than the last time you saw him, which you didn’t think was even possible this far into summer. The patch of hair on his chest that drives you crazy is a dark contrast to the bronze he glows under the moonlight. His long fingers nervously card through his hair while he adjusts to the water temperature walking towards you trying to play it cool like he didn’t need extra time, and it’s almost enough for the corners of your lips to twitch.

“I was looking for the prettiest girl at the party,” he flirts like he just kissed you silly across the console of his car last night, “and Eddie told me she was in the lake with everyone else.”

Steve winks, looking for the eyeroll he usually gets in response to his relentless cheesy passes, but he gets nothing but an awkward half smirk, and that stupid smile on his face finally falters.

“Hey honey, are you okay?” Concern twists his handsome features, finally closing the space between you, water lapping at his waist straightening up.

Honey.

The anger from before finds its way back, warming your cheeks, and you look up at him between slanted eyes, doing your best to ignore the bergamot and amber that threatens to envelope you.

“It’s weird hearing you say anything besides ‘hey you’ve reached Steve, sorry I missed your call.’”

His face drops, catching the hurt that’s wrapped around your words, guilt making him unsure of what to do next, trying his best to read your body language despite most of it being hidden from his sight under the dark water.

“Look, I know I sucked at calling, but I swear I wasn’t doing anything but helping the Wheelers. Nance is moving to New York with Jonathan -“

”I don’t really care what Nancy Wheeler is doing Steve.” You bite, watching him flinch, satisfaction swelling deep in your gut.

“I just lost track of time, we did so much -“

”You didn’t talk to me for two weeks. What am I supposed to think about that? That I wasn’t even a thought in your head, I wasn’t even worth you sparing five minutes. You don’t even see how wrapped up you are in her do you?”

The tears that had been threatening to spill over finally do, and Steve can’t help himself, swiping them away with the pad of his thumb before cupping the side of your face in the palm of his hand that almost swallows you whole.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he coos, but you refuse to meet his gaze, “I’m here now, I came here for you, I showed up here looking for you, to see you.”

He bends down, doing his best to get you to look at him, but you hold strong because you know that you won’t be able to fight how good it will feel to be with him tonight after wanting nothing more for the past few weeks. Even if you know it’s not the forever that you wished for, the one you were silly enough to daydream about despite knowing better. With just two months before your chapter in Hawkins is set to end, the thought of walking away from him while you can still have him is a different kind of torture you weren’t prepared for yet, one that would be easier when you’re miles apart. Not while he’s pleading for you now.

”I can fix this, I can make it up to you.” He whispers, gently tugging at the bottom of your chin, doing his best to coax you to lift it and meet him halfway. “Come on baby, let me.”

He can’t fix a problem he doesn’t realize is there, a truth he’s not ready to admit to himself yet, but you’ll selfishly let him have it this time because when you finally meet the emerald and gold in his eyes, you want to believe he can too for right now.

”There she is.” His smile is warm, just like his touch pulling you closer by the hip when you lean deeper into his palm. “I’m sorry. I really am, baby. I’m here now though, let me make this okay.”

You don’t trust yourself not to cry if you try to give him a response, so you don’t, encouraging him silently with your hands flattening against his chest instead. Glittery fingers getting lost in coarse hair, deciding to memorize this feeling while it still exists. The sounds of the party drown out for the second time as he bends down, the tip of his nose brushing against yours, asking for permission that you grant with the slightest tilt of your head, letting him kiss you dizzy like this isn’t the end.

#ashley’s fic recs #steve harrington #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #eddie munson #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fic

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