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Pink?, p!nk?, PYNK!

A call to women, empower your pink.

5 Reasons why I love the music video PYNK by Janelle Monae

1. Janelle Monae has been our androgyny Queen for a long time and she does not disappoint. Janelle promotes inclusion for cisgender, transgender and nonbinary in her music video PYNK as she uses costumes to symbolize vaginas in a gorgeous way, but what makes this scene remarkable is the women who don't possess the pants to represent not all women have them and the next scene so a pink bat between the legs of one of the actors.

2. Every women in this video is a black women. There is not one depiction of beauty. They range in skin pigment to weight size to hair texture. You see black fashion being open and creative and shunned.

3. Janelle pushes the normalization of body hair. The bedroom scene she poses so the camera can see the pubic hair emerging from a crafty underwear reading “sex cells”. Body hair on women has been constantly deemed unhygienic and unattractive, yet on males if a different story. We should just be cleaning our bodies with soap and water and not worrying about anyone else’s.

4. The “I grab back” panties are the perfect pair. A rally I can get behind to dismantle the promoted rape culture by Donald Trump.

5. I love Janelle’s empowerment around the sexualization of the black female body. As black women, we are always hypersexualized, therefore to have a scene where black women are enjoying their bodies brings confidence.

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Black-ish: Black-ish?

Parents Andre Johnson and Doctor Rainbow Johnson M.D. worry their five children Zoey, Junior, Diane, Jack and baby DeVonte are going to lose touch with black culture because they are growing up in an affluent, mostly white neighborhood leading to a different perspective of life than Andre’s “hood” and Rainbow’s “hippie” upbringing.

When you first hear the name, it surprising because what exactly does Black-ish mean? Well Black-ish means there’s not one way to be black. The title expresses the intersectionality we all live through. None of our experiences are the same or are interpreted the same. I think Black-ish is a black family sitcom we’ve been needing to return the understanding and mindset again. When we start putting ourselves in these boxes of what this is suppose to be, we lose ourselves and/or cause stress. Black-ish is a show that commands reflection for our community about what is it and isn’t. It commands we take into account the lives and feelings of our children. It’s visible through the characters and ourselves. If we’re labeling plainly, Zoey’s a “diva”, Junior’s a “weird little nerd”, Diane’s a little “spiteful”, Jack’s well a little different. However, when you watch the show, you know that’s not all they are. Black-ish is a refreshing for ourselves and children to see they don’t have to cut pieces of them to fit somewhere. We have romanticized this media portrayal of what it means to be a Black man or woman. That we should be this “ride or die chick” with this “hoodrat/gangsta” on the rise, and it isn’t healthy for any of us. I know suburban black boys who have never experiences that fear, PTSD that some real young black men have, and want to claim something because they’ve spent the night over a cousin’s house a few times. As if, they want to erase the privilege they’ve been given for a life the doesn’t benefit them not gives unrealistic identity to all black people.

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Fictional Characters: Should Race Matter?

Don’t think the biggest fandoms in the world aren’t subject to racism? Guess again. Hermione Granger in Harry Potter and the story of Legendary Spy James Bond. There was outrage against a Black woman named Noma Dumezweni playing Hermione in the theatre production of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Fans raging that Hermione isn’t black, but Hermione is a fictional character whose race was never specified. Then here we are again when there were rumors Idris Elba was to become that new James Bond. Fans of 007 were stirred because Idris was a Black man and not because of his acting skills.

If a character was given a certain depiction of race to enable the existence of experience then yes race matters because taking that away erases that group of people who relate. However, if that character does not, then it shouldn’t matter. The character being fictional without experiences to that don’t realistically tie to a race’s experiences hold no weight as they “are this race”. However, the real issue lies in the racial bias people have because if you love a story, you love the story for the content of that story, you should believe it should be played by who is the best fit, not by the color of their skin because you possess this ideology of who does what in the world. Black wizards and witches would exist, the fictional place isn’t some white only utopia sorry not sorry, and I’m pretty positive Black spies are a thing. It intertwined with the hegemony of representation. It should bother you if you don’t see other people on your devices.

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Big Mouth: Can it give you insight into life and sex?

Big Mouth is the new hit animated comedy series on Netflix that focuses on a group of teens who are experiencing puberty at the discretion of their Hormones Monsters. This adult comedy really has it going on. They talk constantly about bodies, body parts, different types of sex, masturbation, orgasms, slut shaming and many other sex-related topics. Big Mouth not only covers sex, but topics like divorce, depression, drug abuse, child neglect, and bullying.

Big Mouth might be just be my happy playground. Sex is very important to me to create an educational, healthy and fun experience.

10 Reasons Why I Love Big Mouth

1. Big Mouth normalize masturbation with hands and “sex toys” and attempts to remove the stigma associated with touching yourself. Andrew is just imaginative, while Jay and Missy have their favorite objects.

2. It addresses genitals by their appropriate names removing a level of comfortability and secrecy about them. There’s a scene explaining Jessie’s vagina explaining to her correctly what each part is from her clitoris to labia minora to her actual vaginal opening.

3. There is a whole episode dedicated to Jessie’s first period. There’s an expression of normal emotions. Jessie’s reaction, and Andrew being a good male friend instead of making Jessie feel disgusting. We actually see red blood, which is very rare in the media and if you're a woman who menstruates reliving that first set of emotional rollercoaster and the diaper feeling that came along with your first pad can be hilarious.

4. It doesn’t stop there, there’s a whole episode and song number on body positivity when Missy gets self conscious about not having breasts. Missy’s mother takes her and Jessie to a nude Korean spa to see the variety bodies come in.

5. Big Mouth shows how sexuality is a spectrum and can constantly change with the character Jay as he learns he is sexuality attracted to “girl and boy pillows”. Yes, the kid has a thing for furniture.

6. Safe Sex I hear, Big Mouth plugs in to remember to have sex safe when Coach Steve loses his virginity. Pregnancy and STI’s are now up for discussion and myths are debunked. If you live in the state of Ohio, you can receive 25 free condoms a month. Go to Ohiv.org, Scroll over “Your Tools”, Click “Free Condoms” and fill out your info. You have to reorder them every month to receive more.

7. The show does a bachelorette themed to skit to give knowledge on Birth Control methods available and see which one fits you the best. They even bring it our old timer the diaphragm (*SPOILER ALERT: She has bone cancer).

8. A lot of people aren’t aware woman can actively get ovarian cysts, and that some get as bad as having to be surgically removed. However, they plug Planned Parenthood as a provider capable of this to remove the stigma surrounding they are an “abortion factory”.

9. Someone has an addiction to porn and it’s Andrew. Big Mouth shows how if not used properly, porn can become a dangerous onset in someone’s life. Everything is good in moderation.

10. The most important piece to any encounter is Consent. There is a scene where Jay wrongly accused Jessie’s of wanting to be sexually touched because of her bra. Which is never plausible cause. It also displays inappropriate behavior from a teacher. The scene is one of the first in the series to discuss slut shaming and how this affects young girls, the topic comes back up in a later episode regarding Nick touching Gina’s breasts.

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Comedy: How subjective is too far?

There has been a recent uproar about homophobic tweets made by Comedian Kevin Hart back in 2009-2011 resulting in him stepping down from hosting the Oscars.  

It is in no way or form my place to tell someone when or when they should be offended especially if I do not identify that way and cannot fathom their experience. A lot of people feel that the LGBTQ community is hypocritical and sensitive, and some have said the same about the Black community, we don’t allow anyone to talk about us yet we can say whatever we please about others. For some, I cannot disagree, but this ideology in my opinion stems from the knowledge, I don’t possess that level of power for it to hurt you physical, socially, and economically. As someone who enjoys comedy particularly stand up comedy from all walks of life, it has always been subjective and act the same for other content. It is sometimes hard to contemplate that jokes can hold livelihood weight, but as a society we are letting that subjectivity hold so much weight. I feel we should be able to joke about each other’s differences in good fun while acknowledging them, a fair exchange of blows, however it is never possible to please everyone. The subjectivity of comedy only goes to far when someone is using that as a stance that has and can lead to harming of someone. Although comedy is apart of media culture and expression, it should not hold the same weight as our nation politically does and how we make decisions and interpret them. There is also discussion around Kevin saying he would have an episode based on if his son displayed “gay” behaviors, which is partially rooted in homophobia but I also think people rather want to admit it or not, we want our children to be a reflection of us because it enforces they are an extension of us and who were are so they difference is scary outside of even recognizing the adversity they may face because we have our norms and we know they won’t instantly change for our kids.

I don’t think Kevin should have stepped down, he should’ve stayed with his I’m changing if it was really true for him. People have mentioned he was approximately 30 something at this time, he should’ve known better, and I think that’s false. We need to realize this is a gradual experience. Everyone isn’t experiencing this removal of stigma on the LGBTQ community at the same rate. We are just now actively and collectively becoming more understanding of how we were wrong. I’m pretty sure all adults in the era can attest that was normalcy for them. It wasn’t something to be talked about. Coin to the title of this blog, we are our own jigsaws, we’re constantly learning, rearranging all parts and the parts for this particular area/piece. Change isn’t instant, we’re figuring it out. For myself, the rights and wrongs of feminism is a gradual experience, it doesn’t all happen at once, I had to relearn. I’m not saying we shouldn't hold each other accountability, but take in account how is the behavior changing and where is it coming from (in general, not specifically just to Kevin Hart).

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Red Table Talk: Setting the tone for Intergenerational Conversations

https://www.facebook.com/redtabletalk/

Red Table Talk, a series on Facebook Watch by Jada Pinkett-Smith sits down to discuss topics with mother Adrienne, daughter Willow and sometime special guests. The table brings an open dialogue from family, friends, marriage, life, motherhood, forgiveness, sex and so much more.

I recently started engaging more with Red Table Talk, and it dawned on me this is a form a content that needed to be viewed by Black women. This the first time I’ve viewed a platform of this nature that feels targeted towards me for discussion. To have three generations of black women speak on topics and how they affect us is groundbreaking, especially when we can see these women started off life very differently therefore interpretations reflect differently on experiences and expectations. There is a particular episode on prejudice and discrimination, where the ideas of that are clearly different for everyone at this table and it shows because of what that real life experiences has projected it to be. I think sometimes we get lost as generations trying to overtalk each other and belittle because we always think we’re the only ones that are right, instead of taking those opinions and understanding why we feel that way. This ideology, “You’re too young or you’re too old”. Reflection and growth requires listening and a deep level of honesty with ourselves and the people around us. Continuing something like Red Table Talk across the board creates a healthier dynamic for how we interpret and view each other as black women. There is no one way to be a black woman, and starting a conversation about those livelihoods from generation to generation and just woman to woman places us on monumental level of continuing to love and protect one another. 

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Thank U, Next: Too Cheer or not to Cheer?

We’ve all fallen in love with the Thank U, Next video by artist Ariana Grande. A song in commemoration of growth for lessons learned and experiences from past relationships. The video references classic films such as, Means Girls, Bring It On, 13 Going on 30, and Legally Blonde. The video broke records as the fastest rack up 100 million views on YouTube and over 8 million streams on Spotify. We can all agree this video is a nostalgic cinematic masterpiece, however I got one problem I can’t seem to shake.

The film Bring It On had a main pillar to represent the creativity, passion, and possibility for Black Women who were cheerleaders. The film actively showed how easily this can be whitewashed and stolen without anything being done. One may or may not realize it there is a culture difference in cheerleading, on a high school and collegiate level for music choice and dance style, it is visible in schooling systems due to division in what races attend what schools and it is clear if viewing a Historically Black College and University or a Predominately White Institution, therefore as a former cheerleader, it was very disappointing to only see the women representing the Clover Squad by twerking. Black cheer has so much more to offer from its standard cheer move execution to it’s very own sub cheer culture of Stomp and Shake. Don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with twerking, it’s a beautiful expression in our culture. I understand the video is meant to be fun, I raved over it but that doesn’t dismiss the sexualization that comes along with this scene because the Toro cheerleading squad had no problem executing their moves. The Clovers didn’t try anything outside of the twerking besides those poorly executed high kicks. Where was the leg strength ladies, Toro or Clover? I am unaware if this was a choice by the dancers themselves or the director, I just wish someone would have made a better one. I know Victoria Monet and Tayla Parx are incredible dancers and choreographers. This whole scene in the original film was about the Clovers showing their spunk and how they were a better squad than the Toros through their originality. So not showing what black cheerleaders are capable of, did it no justice.