asher-west

[asher-west]

      Asher has absolutely NO idea what he’s going to do with his life in the upcoming days, months, years — and he’s loving it. He knows he isn’t entirely in the clear yet, and has a lot to sort out soon, but the sense of overwhelming freedom in his future has him in an outrageously good mood. As such, the on-his-way-to-getting-buzzed Floridian is making the rounds, trying to simply enjoy the evening as much as possible. 

      “So weird to think this is the last time I’ll do one of these things.” He muses out loud, eyes scanning over all the fancy outfits and decked out venue. // @gallagherstart​

[asher-west]

komorcbis​:

      𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢  𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢  𝚜𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚝  ,  eyes  scanning  the  blonde  for  any  hesitation  in  his  features  .  it’s  an  unorthodox  suggestion  .  for  all  satomi  knows  ,  asher  doesn’t  seem  entirely  comfortable  with  the  notion  of  murder  despite  having  done  it  once  already  .  the  whole  thing  doesn’t  bother  them  .  it  should  be  ALARMING  but  given  how  they  grew  up  ?  not  so  much  .  that  has  to  do  with  years  of  being  desensitized  to  crime  and  violence  .  “  i  guess  that  all  depends  .  if  it’s  something  you  feel  like  you  need  to  do  yourself  ,  then  by  all  means  .  ”  they  put  their  hands  up  .  “  and  you  don’t  have  to  decide  on  it  now  .  just  know  that  you  have  my  support  and  i  am  willing  to  take  care  of  it  for  you  .  ”

      Asher listens to them silently, nodding. His hair falls in his face but he doesn’t go to move it, so caught up with this concept. Hazel eyes meet theirs and he nods once more, though this time it’s more definite. “Thank you.” For even suggesting this, for talking to him, for being there. He knows this is something he needs to think over, something that shouldn’t be taken lightly, but a swell of hopefulness begins to rise inside his chest despite himself. “For everything.” He adds, needing them to know. “I’ll... I’ll get back to you.” He assures, finally sweeping his hair out of his face in a fluid motion, hand staying on the top of his head distractedly. 

[asher-west]

riaflicke​:

It didn’t fit with who she thought he was, and it made all of those feelings churn up in her stomach again. Could anyone become a killer? If she was pushed into that situation would everything she’d tried to push away come up to the top and lead her to do the same thing? If someone as genuinely kind as Asher could, what was stopping her? “Stop.” One word, all she could say apart from reaching out to grab his hand. “It’s not who you are. You’re not evil.”

      Asher frowns, almost offended by her contradiction to his inner narrative that she hates him now and never wants to see him again. “I just told you I killed someone, Ria.” He protests, practically spitting out that word like poison on his tongue. “If that isn’t evil, what is?” Therein lies the culmination of his self-loathing — how can he face his mother after all he’s done? His sister? He has blood on his hands. He deserves to be hated. 

[asher-west]

noahwxrd​:

“I know. It’s not easy, and I see that you feel awful about it,” she starts, pausing for a moment, wanting to word her thoughts out right and comfort Asher. “But, seeing how everything went down? Unfortunately, you had no other choice… as hard as that choice had been, you did it to protect yourself. It was either you or him,” she reminds him. It was all in self-defense. “You’re here, they can’t reach you. You should consider telling administration about this, I’m sure they’ll ensure your safety.”

      Asher nods, eyes welling up with tears as she speaks — it almost feels too much to have her be supportive of him, a nagging feeling in his gut that he doesn’t deserve her words of reassurement. “I don’t know who I can trust.” Asher admits quietly, something he hadn’t ever admitted before. Sure, Gallagher is better than Blackthorne was for him, but who’s to say the administration here isn’t also holding this above him? He can’t risk it — not when they know where his family is. 

[asher-west]

riaflicke​:

Strangely poetic, that’s what it was. She and Asher met because of him breaking up a catfight, and now here they were. Practically siblings in all regards. “No one ever said teenagers were smart.” That was what she blamed all of her bullying days on, all of her impulsive destructive decisions - being a kid. 

“It’s different, please, understand that I’m trying to understand… Please.” The question was to the point, but it was something that changed everything. The reason her vapid hatred for her father was so much worse than for her mother, even though they’d both let life slip away by their own hands. “Okay, okay-” Not sure whether to look at him or to look away, she gently moved from sitting on his lap to sit beside him. “Y-you did what you had to do.” 

      “I know, I know.” He nods — he understands that it’s too much, this newfound knowledge of what he’s done and what his past looked like. He’s disgusted with himself even thinking back on it, he can’t imagine hearing it for the first time. He watches her, heart sinking as she moves away from him. The details were too much, look how afraid  of you she is, a voice chimes in from the back of his head, and though he tries to shove it away, he can’t. “Are you—” Asher cuts himself off, giving her her space. “I should go.” He nods once, already mentally planning what bag he’s going to pack to disappear. 

[asher-west]

komorcbis​:

      𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚒  𝚗𝚘𝚍𝚜  𝚒𝚗  𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐  .  for  as  long  as  they’ve  known  asher  ,  he’s  never  really  spoken  much  about  his  past  or  how  he  got  to  blackthorne  in  the  first  place  .  his  personality  isn’t  entirely  fitting  of  the  whole  assassin  school  setting  .  “  you  are  not  going  anywhere  .  just  …  stay  put  for  now  .  keep  a  low  profile  for  the  next  two  weeks  .  it’ll  pass  .  ”  it’s  the  only  thing  they  can  tell  him  .  “  i  don’t  want  to  sound  presumptuous  ,  but  do  you  want  me  to  help  you  take  care  of  it  ?  ”  a  read  between  the  lines  moment  .  “  because  i  can  and  i  will  .  ”

      “You’re right.” He nods, brushing hair away from his face again nervously. “Oh.” Asher blinks, the thought settling in for a moment. “Oh.” Of course, he’d considered it a few times, as something he could do to free himself, but there were too many things that could go wrong — and besides, he isn’t sure he could ever do that again. The gesture of Satomi even offering to do something like this for him is staggering to him. “Would— Is— How would that even work?” Wonders briefly is he’s a terrible person for even considering it, and yet the more he mulls it over, the more it seems like the solution. 

[asher-west]

ofbrightsmiles​:

When he told her that he was in the book, she hummed and nodded slowly. Crossing her arms over her chest, she sighed. “You don’t have to tell me a thing. It’s none of my business anyway. I didn’t read the book for this exact reason. Whatever it is that the book had to expose, it’s none of my business or anyone else’s” she assured him. 

     “I...” He sighs. “Yeah, I’d prefer not to. Thank you for not being pushy about it.” Asher is sick of explaining it, of reliving it, and having someone who is obviously curious not need that from him is comforting. “This whole thing has been a mess.”

[asher-west]

thrill-cfthechase​:

elliot nodded in agreement. “yeah, it definitely isn’t. this is fucked up.” she was trying to keep her cool, but the more she thought about everything, the angrier she got. her desire to punch someone was even stronger than usual. “is there anything i can do to help? i’m not, like, great at being helpful, but i can try.”

      Her question takes him aback, and he finds his lips curling into a small smile at how kind she’s been to him. “No, I — you’ve actually been really helpful already.” Asher admits, sighing. “Thanks, El.” He adds sincerely, shrugging off the hood on his head. “I’m gonna head back...” He snags an apple off the table and gestures to the cafeteria exit. “But I really appreciate this.”

[asher-west]

the boys are back

[asher-west]

thrill-cfthechase​:

“i think you′ll find that a lot of people here are kind of chill with killing people and shit, so i would try not to sweat it.” it was easy for elliot to say, given the fact that she didn’t have to deal with that kind of judgement from people, but she really believed it to be true. “i don’t know,” she sighed. “i didn’t really want people to be able to just, like, look at some creepy book and know that shit. but i also know i probably shouldn’t be complaining.”

     Asher takes in a deep breath, eyebrows raised. He supposes with that whole security footage leak, people must not be too shocked by the news. He offers a vaguely sympathetic smile. “Yeah. I don’t think it’s fun having anyone know your secrets against your will, whether they’re like mine or not.”

[asher-west]

ofbrightsmiles​:

a starter for; @asher-west​

“Were you also in the book or were you spared?” Azi asked as her eyes landed on the familiar face. That was the guy who had complimented her and her outfit. Now stuff like that stayed in her memory. Because it wasn’t everyday someone took the time to make another person feel good about themselves. Which was rather tragic. “Anything juicy? Come on, do tell”

      It’s been a little while since the release, enough time where he’s had the chance to explain himself to the people closest to him, but he realizes at the other’s question that not everyone got clarification — or even read the book in the first place. “Oh, uh —” He clears his throat. “No, I was in it.” He grimaces. “Depends on your definition of juicy.”

[asher-west]

komorcbis​:

      𝚒𝚗  𝚊𝚕𝚕  𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚢  ,  satomi  isn’t  in  the  position  to  judge  asher  for  doing  what  he  had  to  nor  do  they  want  to  .  “  i  think  it’d  be  naive  to  assume  that  they  don’t  know  about  blackthorne’s  closure  and  the  integration  with  gallagher  ,  ”  they  start  .  and  they  don’t  want  to  assume  what’s  to  come  of  asher  if  he  were  to  leave  gallagher  .  “  i’m  pretty  sure  no  one  has  to  pay  for  tuition  at  gallagher  ,  ”  they  half-joke  .  “  but  i  don’t  think  it’s  a  good  idea  for  you  to  leave  .  i’m  not  saying  they  have  the  ability  to  chase  you  down  ,  but  living  life  on  the  run  isn’t  the  best  way  to  go  .  ”

      Asher nods slightly jerkily — unsure if he’s relieved or more worried at the idea that Sutton knew about this already. What if the Blackthorne deal is off, but now Gallagher holds the blackmail? He’s sick of being at the mercy of authority figures. “I didn’t know that when I started.” He shrugs, another reason he’d continued to go along with the deal. Their words resonate with him — he gets a flash of what his life would become and shudders mentally. “Okay. You’re right. I just... Where do I go from here?” Literally and figuratively, he supposes. 

[asher-west]

riaflicke​:

Seeing Asher nervous, worried, was definitely new and she didn’t think that she liked it. He was someone she didn’t really know how to provide comfort to. In her mind, he was the strong one. The stable one. Watching the worry on his face, the hesitance, it threw everything into more imbalance. Fuck the burn book. “How’d they find you? Aren’t you too good to get caught up in that?” It put his family at risk, she assumed. “Is that how, uh, Blackthorne found you?” Blackthorne wasn’t something she talked about much with any of the former students. It was a place that reminded her of her father and conversations she didn’t like having. “Okay, please don’t call me psycho.” Even if it was true. “Was, is… Did, did you kill him with your bare hands?” That was different. That was stronger rage and violence that she didn’t think he was capable of. And she knew she had to ask.

      “I...” Asher sighs. He has never liked talking about his childhood, or money, or the jobs that were a result of both of those factors. But if it helps dissolve any misunderstandings about him following that damned book, he’ll do it. “I got into a few fights at the docks where I worked. And apparently someone noticed. There was a job I was approached about, where I could drive, and fight, and get paid a lot. So. It seemed ideal. I was seventeen. I thought this would fix everything.” How stupid he’d been. 

      “Anyway. Long story short, the people who approached me were involved with people at Blackthorne. So.” He pauses, glancing back over at her in shock. He hadn’t been expecting that, and he wonders briefly how his answer will affect their relationship. “He had a knife. In his belt. I’d seen it, when he arrived. Part of my job, to know what weapons people had.” Spares her a sideways glance. “When... When it all happened, I managed to push the gun away and grab his knife.” He doesn’t think he has to elaborate beyond that. 

[asher-west]

thrill-cfthechase​:

“i think you′ll find that a lot of people here are kind of chill with killing people and shit, so i would try not to sweat it.” it was easy for elliot to say, given the fact that she didn’t have to deal with that kind of judgement from people, but she really believed it to be true. “i don’t know,” she sighed. “i didn’t really want people to be able to just, like, look at some creepy book and know that shit. but i also know i probably shouldn’t be complaining.”

      “I’m learning that.” He sighs, remembering the video file that had been emailed to all of them. He spares her a sideways glance, trying to read her expression as she speaks. “Yeah, no, me neither.” He makes a face. “At least they said you were good at what you did.” He tries to lighten the mood slightly. 

[asher-west]

noahwxrd​:

“So, it’s in self-defense,” Noah concludes. It’s a pretty obvious conclusion. Asher didn’t kill the guy because the mafia family forced him to do it for money, it was to keep himself alive. “I know it’s not easy, having to take someone’s life away… but it’s like you said, it was either him or you.” Her tone is gentle. “Is it related to why you’re here?” All students from non-spy families had some big reason that lead them to being in Gallagher and she wouldn’t be surprised if that was Asher’s reason.

     Asher blinks. “Yeah.” He’s sort of unnerved at how easily she’s accepting this, yet gratefulness fills him when she doesn’t turn and run away in horror. “I... Yeah. I just wish I could have — I dunno, done something differently.” Not murdered someone, he means. “The, uh, the family I worked for, they sent me to Blackthorne. To train. And then, when I’m done, I go back and work for them. And they don’t tell the police what I did.” He sighs. “They’ve got me, Noah.”

[asher-west]

komorcbis​:

      𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛  𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢  think  about  it  ,  the  more  they  begin  to  wonder  if  gallagher  already  knew  about  this  .  it’s  spy  school  .  it’d  be  surprising  if  they  didn’t  conduct  extensive  background  checks  on  EVERYONE  .  and  if  the  authorities  come  for  asher  ,  then  it  looks  like  they’ll  have  to  come  for  ALL  of  the  murderers  on  campus  .  and  when  he  explains  how  he  got  himself  involved  ,  there’s  a  part  of  them  that  can’t  help  but  feel  protective  of  their  friend  .

      however  ,  there’s  a  slight  difference  between  asher’s  involvement  in  organized  crime  and  satomi’s  .  he  did  it  because  he  needed  the  money  whereas  they  were  born  into  it  .  “  and  i  take  it  the  deal  isn’t  off  even  though  blackthorne  no  longer  exists  ?  ”  they  can  tell  how  much  it’s  affecting  them  .  when  push  comes  to  shove  ,  they’ll  find  way  to  get  their  friend  out  of  this  bind  .

      He waits for them to speak, hoping their judgement of him won’t have shifted — although he’s not sure he would blame them for it. At their question, he huffs out a humorless laugh, a flash of a memory of being sent the details about Blackthorne coming to mind. “I haven’t asked. They haven’t... Contacted me, I guess, since I joined.” He shrugs, though this has been a question on his mind for several years. “All I know is someone is paying for me to be here, and it isn’t me or my mom.” If he weren’t worried for the repercussions on his family, he would have come clean to Sutton long ago in hopes he could get help. 

[asher-west]

riaflicke​:

A few people knew the details of Ria’s situation, she could count them on one hand, and she hoped to hell none of them said anything… But seeing Asher right now, seeing his reaction, she knew everything had been safe with him. “It would be different if everyone was in the book.” No it wouldn’t. It’d just give her a little ammo to stop self pitying. Quietly, she peeled away to look up at him, voice in an uncharacteristic whispered tone. “How… How did, why did… What happened?” 

      “I mean... Most people are.” He defends, sighing, though he can’t help but be suspicious as to who was left out and why. Some of the entries are common knowledge. When she asks, he presses his eyes shut briefly — he knew she would, knew it was a matter of time, but still wasn’t prepared. “It was him or me.” Asher establishes right off the bat, the same thing he’s told himself over and over since it happened. “When I was in Florida, I... I did some shady jobs for money. And one of them ended really bad.” He hopes she won’t ask for the gruesome details, but if she does, he’ll tell her.