ashesandwines

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

Eddy nodded silently, suddenly holding back the urge to burst into tears—due to what emotion, she wasn’t sure. “Yeah, well. I mean, you were busy, I’m sure. How was everything? Brazil and home and…” she trailed off, her brain interrupting with the question Did you meet someone else?

She was relieved to finally see Lyra, but there was no way she could’ve prepared herself for the rush of happiness and pain and frustration and sadness that she was experiencing. Eddy had gone back and forth between mourning their relationship and being hopeful that they would potentially get back together once school started. Now that she had the opportunity to find out how the other girl felt, the idea was a bit too terrifying for her.

“Brazil was —” Her mouth went dry. “It was good, great experience. Loads of magical creatures there.” While she could normally go on for hours about nearly any topic at a moment’s notice, all words seemed to fail her. How could she talk about summer when there was this tension between them? Lyra had break-ups before, experienced heartbreak, and fell in love again and again, but something about this one felt visceral. Eddy and Lyra in young love, surrounded by rust leaves and wrapped in yellow and blue scarves still lived in her memories, searing and strong.

She suddenly realized she was meant to carry on the conversation and asked, “And what about you? How have you been?” And then there it was: a laugh. It was small and under her breath and it might’ve sounded a little bit like an exhale of relief more than a laugh, but it was something. “I just asked that, didn’t I?”

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

“Yeah. Of course.” Eddy spoke as if she were in a trance, immediately backing away from the group of girls. She felt this magnetic pull in her stomach and honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if she soon found herself plummeting downwards through the floor and towards the dungeons. There was no way she could have adequately prepared herself for this moment. She’d painted a clear image of what she’d feel, how she’d act, what she’d say – but all of that faded into oblivion as she locked eyes with Lyra, desperate but unable to look anywhere else.

“Where do you, uh—We can just…” she mumbled, gesturing vaguely down the stretch of hallway that would eventually lead them towards the greenhouses.

She formed a smile, or at least she tried to will herself to — it barely looked like she upturned her lips as she walked down the hall with Eddy. All she could focus on were their footsteps, which were just a fraction of a second off from each other. Every time she tried to fall into step with her, it was never quite in sync. “How have you been? I should’ve owled you this summer,” she finally said quietly after failing to fall into a type of rhythm.

[ashesandwines]

ashesandwines​:

“What Eddy’s trying to say is —” She shot a pointed look at her friend that said are you even trying to play it cool? “We were just leaving. Hufflepuff’s common room was taken over by sodding first years blabbering about first year things.” It seemed nearly impossible for her to feel as much secondhand embarrassment as she did in that moment, but the irony of the situation was too much. Of course she would appear right as they stopped talking about her. Tavish wondered if the garland that Eddy was working on suddenly felt heavier in her bag. “You have a good time in Brazil, Lyra?”

Seeing Eddy again felt like being in a tunnel with all of her senses caving in. She barely registered what anyone else said until she heard Tavish say her name. “Hm?” She broke her gaze on Eddy with a blink before glancing over to her best friend only for a moment to have her eyes flit back to her ex. Her ex. Suddenly, missing lunch and going to the kitchens to see her favorite house elves didn’t matter.

"Eddy, can we catch up?” She didn’t look at Calla or Tavish to ask for permission or an apology for ignoring Tavish’s attempt to dispel the awkward energy, but kept her fixed stare. It was discerning how months away (and apart, her mind reminded her) changed the dynamic of the relationship between Eddy and Lyra.

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

Before she realized what she was doing, Eddy found herself blurting, “Same. I mean, me, too. The kitchens.” She looked over at Tavish, alarmed at her own reaction, desperate to be bailed out by her friend and sure that she wouldn’t be. She immediately amended her statement, stumbling over her words. “I mean, I don’t have to be. I was just going to, uh… You know. Hufflepuff. Next to… uh… yeah. Um. But I’m… I don’t – I could… Not.” She was sure at this point her face was beet red, and she felt as though her heart was climbing up her throat and about to jump out of her mouth onto the flagstone floor of the corridor.

“What Eddy’s trying to say is —” She shot a pointed look at her friend that said are you even trying to play it cool? “We were just leaving. Hufflepuff’s common room was taken over by sodding first years blabbering about first year things.” It seemed nearly impossible for her to feel as much secondhand embarrassment as she did in that moment, but the irony of the situation was too much. Of course she would appear right as they stopped talking about her. Tavish wondered if the garland that Eddy was working on suddenly felt heavier in her bag. “You have a good time in Brazil, Lyra?”

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

Calla, being anxious to a fault, felt as though she might throw up on behalf of Lyra. They hadn’t yet been able to discuss the current state of her back-to-school-seeing-your-maybe-ex? feelings, but Calla knew it couldn’t be anything particularly good. Then again, it was probably best that the two spoke at some point. “Eddy. Tav…ish,” she fumbled, awkwardly giving her acquaintance a nickname. It somehow felt too intimate, but she wasn’t able to give it much of a second thought; her brain was scrambling for something to fill the uncomfortable silence. “Hey. We were just – um, going… nowhere…?” She turned to Lyra, beet red. “Where were we going, Lyr?”

Of course, Lyra knew that she was bound to see Eddy again eventually. Despite having months apart and the first few days of classes to find the right words, everything and nothing came to mind all at once. She wanted to tell her how good she looked, to ask her all about her summer, to share everything she saw in Brazil. “We were going to the kitchens,” she managed to say in a perfectly even tone while her eyes stayed on Eddy. There were so many things Lyra wanted to say (more than usual), but it was like her brain completely glitched and she couldn’t form any other words.

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

“Okay, but we both know Callum is set on marrying Victoire Weasley, like, now,” Eddy laughed, remembering the last conversation they’d had, where he couldn’t focus on anything but her. “I’m not saying you need anyone, ‘cause obviously you don’t. I’m just saying maybe you should think about it. Like, it doesn’t have to be difficult and stressful. It can be nice and fun!” Eddy found her mind journeying back to Lyra. If you’d have asked her, back when the two were dating, what she’d change about their relationship, she would’ve come up empty-handed. But now there wasn’t a relationship at all, and she honestly suspected she might still be in a state of shock about the whole thing. Just as she began to get lost in her own thoughts, the exact person occupying her mind was walking towards them, her arm linked tightly with Calla’s. “Oh, fucking shit,” Eddy sputtered, pinching Tavish’s arm. She found herself suddenly self-conscious, sweating buckets, and in need of a wee.

“Who doesn’t want to marry Vic?” Their laughter mingled together as she rolled her eyes. It was probably the fact that she had some Veela blood mixed into her genes, but even Tavish could remember the times when she caught herself staring at Victoire or Dominique across the Great Hall. But girls were just another distraction at the end of the day. “I am seeing people — just nothing long term. Maybe I’m not a relationship per— ow!” she hissed.

Her face pulled a scowl and she had half a mind to smack Eddy right back before she followed her line of sight to Calla and Lyra. Her eyes flitted between the two before forming a small O with her mouth in realization what exactly was going on. “Calla. Lyra.” She nodded in acknowledgement to the both of them.

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

“Okay, Tav,” Eddy sighed, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes, but grateful for the opportunity to change the subject. “Maybe you need to find someone who’s just as busy as you are. Like… are any of the Head Girls cute? I don’t actually know who got it this year. Or someone on your team! Or someone on my team.” She went through her mental rolodex of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team and practically shuddered at the thought of Tavish eating them alive. “Never mind. You don’t want to date a Hufflepuff. But I’m sure there’s someone out there for you.”

Throwing in a fake shudder for show, she snorted back a laugh. “Definitely not a Hufflepuff. I’m only friends with you outta obligation,” she joked as she jabbed her pointy elbow gently into one of Eddy’s ribs. The laughter slowly disappeared from her features as she thought about it to herself. Girls and relationships just made things more complicated and she didn’t need complicated. She needed to focus on building a strong team and getting good enough marks in potions to get onto a good team. “Why does there need to be someone else out there for me, anyway? I’ve got Quidditch, I’ve got you — I’ve even got sodding Callum still.”

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

“Well… I love her,” Eddy said quietly, avoiding Tavish’s gaze. As the pair retreated from the now raucous common room, Eddy sighed, trying to make some sense of the mess of emotions overflowing in her brain. “I’m terrified, I think, of… us not even being friends? ‘Cause we were for a while before we started dating, and I don’t want to lose her completely over this.” She fell silent, stunned at the rare moment of lucidity she’d experienced.  “What about you, Tav? Too busy for love this year?”

“I’m busy — you know that.” Tavish waved it off with a flourish of her hand. Dating just wasn’t in her cards, but Eddy was always the one that needed to talk through her emotions. She spun around to face her, bracing her hands on both of her shoulders like she was trying to shake some clarity into her. “Eds, you know that at the end of the day, she’s the the one losing you — not the other way around.”

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

“Bad? No. No, of course not. It was just… necessary. It didn’t make any sense to stay together, y’know? I’m just…” Eddy trailed off, distracted by a small herd of first years entering the common room, probably buzzing with energy from their first flying lesson. “I don’t know. It’s hard to say ‘cause I haven’t seen her. But I really want to. But I’m also nervous. What if everything’s different? I mean, it is… but you know what I mean.” She turned the half-finished garland over in her hands before suddenly stuffing it into her bag. The first years were chattering at an unprecedented volume, and Eddy honestly felt like her head might explode. “Shall we wander somewhere else, Tav? I don’t think I can handle whatever’s going on over there.”

Some of Eddy’s words were drowned out by the Hufflepuff common room’s sudden increase in volume, but she still got the general idea. Tavish’s face screwed up, silently agreeing with Eddy as she packed up her things. “I guess I just don’t get why you would be hung up about it still,” she muttered, letting her words get lost in between the prattling first years. Shoving her playbook in back in her book bag, she shouldered a couple of Hufflepuffs on her way out without any excuse me’s. “I mean, you’re bound to see her again. Have you thought about what you guys are going to say to each other?” Tavish asked, waiting outside of the barrels for Eddy.

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

“Honestly, I doubt it… but I’m sure you could spy on them in secret? I don’t know if I’ll be able to give you the play-by-play afterward,” she called out, beginning her descent towards the pitch. “I think I’ll probably… completely black out. Not remember a thing. But once it’s over and done with, maybe we can fly around again when no one’s out here? What do you think? It’s kind of nice, no?” She was hesitant to admit that she liked flying, that it actually felt kind of natural to her, but she couldn’t imagine hiding anything from Lyra. When her feet finally touched the ground, Calla felt as though she’d been holding her breath the entire time she’d been in the air and was only now releasing it. It was an unfamiliar sensation, but not an unwelcome one – perhaps even one she’d want to experience again soon.

Harumping to herself, Lyra hid her small pout. It wasn’t even like she cared or knew anything about Quidditch, but she simply wanted to support her best friend, not steal secrets. “So you’re saying it’s out of land to make signs for your try-outs?” she joked lightly. Her landing was less than graceful as her feet struggled to find their footing on solid ground; nevertheless, Lyra beamed once she got her balance back. “I would love to fly again. Is there a recreational flying club? We should start it and call it Wings of the Welsh Green... Airborne and Aerial with Antipodean Opaleyes...” she pondered out loud, trying to brainstorm as many dragon related nicknames as possible as she hooked arms with Calla off the field.

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

“I mean… we exchanged a few owls back and forth, but… I dunno. It feels weird to not talk to her at all, and I thought it could kinda be a peace offering…? Not that there’s not peace, or anything. Just… ‘cause we haven’t seen each other. I don’t know. I guess I didn’t really think it through? But I do miss her. Have you seen her around? Does she seem different?” Eddy was prone to rambling, but Lyra always caused her thoughts to be absurdly tangential. At the moment, she had more questions than answers, and she felt a bit desperate to figure at least some things out. “Maybe I just need to take my mind off it. Stop overthinking it, y’know?”

“You’re definitely overthinking it,” she said flatly. Tavish was used to her chattering and often tune out most of what she would say, opting to read the latest article in the Daily Prophet while half-listening and half-acknowledging with hm’s and oh’s. But she could tell that this wasn’t the conversation that would be easily remedied with one-worded, evasive answers. “It wasn’t a bad break-up, right? Didn’t you guys just end things since she was away last term?” She shrugged, settling into the worn leather sofa. “Do you still have feelings for her or something?”

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

“You think so?” Calla called over her shoulder, immediately veering downwards and almost losing her balance. Rather than feel scared, though, she found herself laughing, drunk on the newfound freedom she’d discovered in the air. “I suppose it’s not as terrifying as I thought it’d be, but I’m still not so sure about the actual sport.” There was no way she was good enough to be on a quidditch team. Truthfully, she didn’t actually know how good one would have to be, since she hadn’t seen a game since first year, but she felt safe in her assumption. “I could stay up here for days, I think. I can see why dragons like to fly.”

“I know so!” she exclaimed back, letting gravity pull her toward the ground before swooping back up shakily. It was obvious that Calla was much more graceful on a broom than Lyra would ever be. She was sure that she would have patches of blue and purple decorate her pale skin and callouses and splinters on her hands where they tightened around the broom. “You think that Slytherin lets other houses come watch tryouts?” Her nose wrinkled. Some people were particular about inter-house friendships as it was, but Lyra heard that Tavish was way too serious about Quidditch in general. “I’ve never even been to a game — I probably wouldn’t know what’s going on, but I want to support you!”

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

“Oh, we’ll be fine,” Eddy sighed, hinting that fine was not necessarily good. “We need a couple chasers, and I suppose we’ll take an alternate or two if any of the kiddos show promise.” Hufflepuff was certainly not as ruthless as, well, any of the other teams, and they hadn’t won the school Cup in nearly a decade, but it honestly didn’t seem to bother anyone on the team, including Eddy. She picked up the garland in her lap, holding it up for Tavish to inspect. “What do you think? They’re asphodel leaves. I thought I’d make a garland and give it to Lyra.” Though the pair had technically broken up, Eddy was anxious to see her, unsure of exactly where they stood.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine as always,” she echoed. Tavish didn’t even make much of an effort to hide the smirk that curled on her lips, but she at least had the courtesy to not scrawl a note in her playbook (at least in front of Eddy). She always felt a little bad that Eddy had to play for Hufflepuff of all teams, even if it didn’t quite bother her. But the smirk was quickly wiped away as a look of confusion painted her features. A term plus a summer apart seemed like it put on eon of time away from someone in her eyes, so she had never given Lyra much of a second thought. “I mean, they’re great, Eds, but why would you want to give that to her? Have you even talked since she left for... Brazil, wassint?”

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

Calla couldn’t help but laugh at Lyra’s mention of becoming a Dragon Whisperer. Truthfully, she was envious of her friend’s optimism and seemingly endless imagination. While professors had consistently praised Calla for her diligence and work ethic, she’d never been complimented for her creativity or originality. “I think that sounds perfect,” she shouted, starting to gain confidence as she flew laps around the pitch. “I’ll follow you around and write about all our adventures. Well, mostly yours. I guess it depends how the dragons feel about me.”

“Nope,” she shook her head, popping the P like it was a piece of Drooble’s. “We’re a package deal — the dragons will understand that.” Her eyes followed Calla faster than her skills on her broom allowed her to, which barely allowed Lyra to trail in a less than straight path. “You actually look so comfortable up here, Calla! We probably won’t even have to see Madam Pomfrey afterward,” she chuckled, her light laughter and blonde hair catching in the wind.

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

“Hmm…” Eddy sighed, turning the needle over in her palm. “I don’t think I did, but… you know, there’s always a chance. She dropped the needle into her sewing kit, fishing out one that she’d convinced herself looked less suspicious. “Are you ready for tryouts? I think we’ll have a good batch this year. Lots of eager first years who think they’re the next Harry Potter, but… it’s all a bit of fun, no? Ah! There we go.” She’d finally managed to thread the needle, able to pick up where she’d left off… as soon as she figured out where that was.

While Quidditch was always an easy conversation that she was eager to talk about, Tavish paused for a moment. Should she tell Eddy about her new seeker (Calla technically was not the Slytherin seeker just yet, she had that gut feeling that told her she had nothing to worry about)? While there was no reason to keep secrets, she still glazed over it. “Yeah, only need to replace Selwyn as Seeker, so shouldn’t be awful. How’s Hufflepuff faring?” Slytherin banned first years from going to tryout after the Harry Potter debacle happened altogether, even if Tavish didn’t mind new blood trying out. Her da told her all about how Potter was really that good. “What are you making, anyway?”

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

Calla could feel herself falter on her broom when Lyra mentioned her dad. She’d been so determined to avoid any connection to him, she actually had no idea how he’d done in the Triwizard Tournament. Obviously he didn’t win—she knew that much, at least—but had he used a broom in any of the challenges? 

“I don’t know, actually,” she tried to say as nonchalantly as possible. “Maybe. I don’t know much about, uh, his quidditch stuff. I guess I could ask next time I see him.” But when would that be? The last time they’d had lunch was more than three months ago, with barely a full conversation since. “What would you have done, Lyr? I’ll bet the dragon would just know you were its friend, like, instinctively.” 

Sensing the conversation intentionally steering away from the mention of her dad, Lyra felt bad for bringing up the subject of her dad. She was an open book and would tell anyone and everyone about her great-great grandfather if they cared to listen. But Calla was more reserved with that kind of information than her and she learned over their years of friendship when to continue prodding and when to let things go.

Her flight became a little less erratic, still jerking her to the right when she wanted to go to the left, but nonetheless slowed to a leisurely speed. “You think they would listen? Maybe I can be a Dragon Whisperer after I graduate!” Lyra’s eyes sparkled at the possibility, imagining the big majestic creature swooping and looping through the Quidditch towers gracefully.

[ashesandwines]

monardafistulosa​:

“Oh, very little work gets done in here. Last spring, a group of first years complained about the noise, actually. Said they were trying to have a silent study session? Can’t say anything got done about it.” Eddy shrugged, turning her attention to the garland of dried herbs she was stringing together. “I’d say the space is better suited towards arts and crafts, choreography, solstice rituals…” she trailed off, squinting at the needle she was attempting to thread. “Have you ever heard of an enchanted needle with a shrinking eye? Because I feel like I’ve got one.”

Choreography? Her eyebrow quirked before glancing behind the couch, watching as a handful of second years mimicked the swaying of the dancing house plant in the corner of the common room. Or was that a solstice ritual? “You know you are all a walking stereotype,” she guffawed as she poked Eddy’s side with her socked toe. “Did you get it from Madam Malkin’s or Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes? I heard that’s a new product,” Tavish pointed out, glancing at her friend’s latest creation in her lap.