ashetheshade

[ashetheshade]

if you’re someone who has to wear glasses every day that makes them basically the most important item you own which means you really gotta show those fuckers who’s boss just toss them everywhere and knock them off things and roll over them in bed at least twice a week

[ashetheshade]

"this character is so specifically coded as [x] idk how the author can tell us that it was unintentional" tbh most of the time it's probably something a lot simpler than the author being cowardly or duplicitous and not wanting to admit they wrote a certain kind of character, they likely just based that trait on someone they know (or themselves lol) and didn't consciously realize that trait was in any way non-average or implied anything else. it's still free real estate dgmw, if the text suggests that a character is (for example) super mega transgender then the text suggests that character is super mega transgender, but it doesn't necessarily mean the author knew that the text was suggesting that the character is super mega transgender.

[ashetheshade]

no way i just saw people in tiktok comments crying screaming throwing up at the idea of aslan being a jesus figure. worsties the lion literally dies to save edmund (the sinner) and then rises from the dead. he tells the pevensies he can be found under a different name in our world. what else could this have meant

[ashetheshade]

the dumbest person alive has come to warn you that fruit has sugar in it

[ashetheshade]

Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting

[ashetheshade]

Just a little PSA for all our mental health (and chronic pain*) spoonies out there! A lot of doctors neglect to mention this little side effect, which means a lot of us are suffering extra from the heat without knowing why.

*Many psych meds are used to treat chronic pain as well, if you didn’t know!

[ashetheshade]

listen to me, really. I am holding your two hands tenderly in mine. being part of a privileged group and benefitting from systemic exploitation without meaning to is not the same thing as being an inherently trash person who makes the world worse by living it in. that's not what that means. I'm telling you this for two reasons, 1) so you can chill the fuck out and be at peace with yourself without feeling like you're draining the universe of value, and 2) so you don't go onto oppressed people's posts about systemic privilege and exploitation and react like they've just told you that you, personally, should not exist because you're a man who lives within the vicinity of a supermarket that sells chiquita bananas. you're just gonna have to put some trust into your own brain and hold on to both the ideas that you're on one of the dominant sides of a set of global scales of injustice and that you don't have to shrivel out of existence about it. it can be difficult to reconcile those ideas at first, but it's completely possible and worth doing. if you don't, then you start constructing a worldview where you believe that either you have a civic duty to self destruct or you start vehemently denying that these systems of oppression exist, both of which are Bad and Not Good. peace and love x

[ashetheshade]

I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

[ashetheshade]

“Medieval peasants couldn’t handle my Spotify playlist” but could YOU handle a medieval bard relaying the epic of Beowulf over the course of an hour? Humble yourself.

[ashetheshade]

believe it or not but people addicted to drugs are able to have stuff like chronic pain and they still deserve pain meds

some people here are not normal about ppl w substance abuse and u need to show solidarity with them or perish

[ashetheshade]

in conversations about sex education for children many people fall back on teaching children to recognize and, hopefully, report predatory behavior as the primary reason why this education is good, and obviously I don't disagree with that! when I educate my 4th-6th students, we spend a significant amount of time talking about boundaries and consent and drilling in to the kids' brains that they do NOT need to tolerate inappropriate touching or other behavior from anyone, not even adults who might try to pressure them into thinking otherwise.

BUT! but but but! I think it's also really important to remember that preparing for the worst case scenario isn't the only reason to educate kids about sexuality and their bodies! kids deserve to enter puberty understanding all of the changes they'll experience, and not just the growing and sweating. it's good for kids to understand the new desires they might start experiencing! it's good to know about intense new crushes and erections and wet dreams and sexual fantasies and masturbation! those things can be really, really scary and confusing for young people who don't have any framework to understand them, and it's really easy to feel like you're doing something dirty and inappropriate if no one has told you that sexual pleasure and curiosity is normal, healthy, and good.

good sex ed should help students feel comfortable and safe expressing their sexuality! that's crucial!

[ashetheshade]

I love it when women tell me they just finalized their divorce. ESPECIALLY older women. The correct response is always “congratulations” and they always seem so pleasantly surprised, they just seem to light right up and talk about how happy they are, what their plans are, how well they’re doing. I’ve only ever met like 1 person who was upset to be divorced and it was a middle-aged dude. Second most exciting is young men. A 25 year old guy says he just got divorced and you go “congratulations” and he SMILES? You KNOW there’s a story. I love it. People should get divorced more

[ashetheshade]

The funniest part of the “ummmm actually ☝️🤓 birth control can be REALLY bad for you” responses on my ‘hey I think the current health fad demonization of hormonal birth control is right wing propaganda’ post is that I can’t take hormonal birth control. It reacts badly with my body’s chemistry. But I am wise enough to understand that it is a lifesaving medication for many people and encouraging people to get off birth control if it is working for them with no adverse reactions is bad. Birth control is bad for me and it can have terrible side effects but the potential of pregnancy and periods are worse for many people.

[ashetheshade]

so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

[ashetheshade]

as a person who uses either public bathroom on a toss of a coin i gottta say its kind of ridicuous that people are so attached to them being seperate facilities. youre not usually gonna see anyones dick at the urinal and youre not usually gonna be able to spy on any women. the stalls are the same except one has a little tampon bin. we would lose nothing if all bathrooms were unisex and i'll die on that hill.

[ashetheshade]

hello physically disabled person reading this. it is not your fault that your medical supplies are made from a lot of single use plastic and you can continue using them guilt free. your health comes first. thank you for existing.

[ashetheshade]

youcan trust my notorious second in comand. backstabula