ashgrayzero - Tumblr blog

[ashgrayzero]

i want to write when my heart is aching?

physically or emotionally?

depends on how you perceived it :-)

[ashgrayzero]

i think i’m drowning in words but never knew i was dying.

[ashgrayzero]

thats clouds; it only means one thing.

empty canvas.

[ashgrayzero]

i wanted to be in love, nor just feel something in between being in love and feeling alive.

[ashgrayzero]

eyes; i am no longer find it very amusing.

[ashgrayzero]

she was more than water and summer storms because i got held by her like soft as the stone, something logically intended and really difficult to explain it.

[ashgrayzero]

I’m going to bow down on my knees, to prove to myself that what I’m doing is wrong. People never seen me with pride and ego building up I always give in, but when I build it up it feels like everything is against me.

[ashgrayzero]

I either have too many thoughts and words that they start spilling everywhere or I've absolute silence, inside and out.

[ashgrayzero]

I get to escape an hour and got back from this dark place with white walls again.

I thought being away will ease something but too bad the hell itself came right away.

I never knew how insensitive a mere individual could be until they made you feel a bad person for being angry.

[ashgrayzero]

I am the storm, the pages are more. The sunrises are less but could be adore.

[ashgrayzero]

Y’all have been treating me harshly, every damn time.

I never asks anything in return if y’all are borrowing something from me.

Haha I don’t wanna be here anymore.

[ashgrayzero]

I’m getting impatient as time goes by, but... I need to take, to take this moment because it’s for me and for me alone. Take me to where patience is well served because I would be lying if I say I can wait.

[ashgrayzero]

I’m here, breaking into tiny bits with the thoughts of you having a pleasant time strolling around.

It’s nowhere to be found, the one thing I know I want because desires don’t have its way of knowing how shall they come true.

You have been nothing but you, and that is how I know what perfection is, isn’t it? Being what you are and who you are makes you special for infinite.

Hey, it’s crazy, it’s more than crazy I guess and I’m losing my sanity although you happened to come around once in a blue moon.

But you exist and I don’t think I’ll get through this life without having these feelings towards you.

Now, I understand in spite of you seeing me as someone who belongs in the crowd there are things has it reasoned to be lost in living here.

This is impromptu just letting my tiny thumbs and hay wire mind having its way of articulating how I felt towards you.

Second time around, making me feel crying of knowing how much you feel, of how much your grace, your exquisite being, and your magnificence suffocating me in such beautiful ways.

I come here because I don’t know how to tell you everything about it so I’ll leave it here.

You could be endless and I would still adore you infinite times.

You are priceless because no one could afford who you are and who you might be ahead.

You are immeasurable, even the pain you’ve caused a thousand more, you are adored.

And I know ‘how come?’ But I’ve arrive to the point I want you to live inside of me, making me feel endless possibilities.

I see nothing but a kindness that brought love and pain throughout the day I begin to know your name.

You are adored, adored infinite times.

By Dang Jayno, endless possibilities.

R. A.

[ashgrayzero]

What are your thoughts about emotional cheating?

I think it’s very much unfair to let yourself get invested in someone, to let yourself get through them, and do what lovers' do with them. You don’t drop the “we are just friends” or assuring them but still letting that person hang around.

I would like to have it the other way around, I would make them imagine that their partner would do the same and what would they feel… yes, they might not say the exact words because they don’t feel what’s already happening.

When you say you have a crush on someone other than your partner, (that’s emotional cheating already) that’s when your partner’s insecurities will act up. They might put a mask saying that it’s okay because it’s just a silly crush but deep down they are being consumed by their own issues (after all you’re your own greatest enemy).

Please I don’t want a partner saying to open up with them but entirely aware of what they are doing or what they’ve caused. Just because your partner won’t open up about it doesn’t mean you need to fight over it.

Things take time… even the silliest things or the smallest you may perceive to have its time to take.

You may tell your partner they are just your friend but friends don’t look at each other that way. At the very first start, you should build a healthy relationship between them that despite being a friend there is still a safe distance.

But the friend, I don’t get them at the same time I do. Why some of them are being pushy just because they are beginning to like that person as well (or they like the person a long time ago). Don’t you have dignity within yourself? That you push yourself to people who are tied already?

You see that person is happy already but you’re pushing your asses to them like nothing. It’s so disrespectful, ignorant, and selfish.

And if they broke up because of you, you would cry and be sorry. That’s shitty, you are a piece of shit.

Please don’t put yourself in a situation that you would lose the goodness other people saw in you. Don’t be such a home wrecker.

And if you feel like you don’t feel the same with your partner cut them off, don’t lead them on and if you’re committed please stay committed because I believe that emotional and mental damage is infinite times worst than a physical one.

Emotional cheating is still cheating.

And keep your fucking zippers up.

Based on experience?

That could be the possible conclusion of my answer anyway.

[ashgrayzero]

I firmly believe that there’s no right time but the wrong time is.

Bad timing is there for a reason.

Being a pessimist doesn’t live that way, I mean yea you are a pessimist but also attempting to get the idea of normal things.

Sadness has won its favor in this world, happiness has fit as rare. When you mostly experience blues, your thoughts are naturally would see things through like apparent outcomes are ‘pain’.

Satisfying as well, to assume things will happen that way and would be surprised if the other way around happens.

[ashgrayzero]

In the ancient greek mythology stories, eating an apple or an apple means a fleshy fruit associated with love and procreation.

Simply means having sex or sex.

God’s fallen angel named Lucifer, was sent to earth with his envious and rebellious behavior.

Lilith, Lucifer’s first love created in the image of Eve.

Remember when Eve ate the apple given by the serpent or snake?

It only means one thing.

That Eve met Lucifer in the garden which only means that they had sex.

Which is why god punished her with mortality.

But why did god also punished Adam?

Because he was given a choice whether to choose eden or god but he chose Eve.

At the very same day they had sex.

Afterwards..

Eve bore two sons named Cane and Abel.

Theoretically, they are two embryos planted in Eve’s, the cause of her having male twins.

Abel was Adam’s son while Cane is Lucifer’s. That’s why Cane was the rebellious one and killed Abel afterward.

Just theories roaming around my head.

[ashgrayzero]

Envy, envy, envy, envy, envy…