ask-a-cultist - Tumblr blog

[ask-a-cultist]

Where are you from? Like where were you born?

Well, to be perfectly honest…I don’t really recall where I was born. My earliest memory was waking up in a room strapped to a table, with many hooded figures surrounding me, before I passed out again. I believe I was 8 at the time of that memory. Huh…..wonder what that was about. Well, no time to think about that, my mind is now clear and I’m ready to answer more questions as I lay in wait for my revenge to unfold!

[ask-a-cultist]

Fair enough, fine don't use my advice then...

Sorry I appear to need to collectmy thoughts. It has been quite the illuminating experience to have my overlord used against me by my enemies. *rubs nose on shoulder* I just am confused by your plan, you say murder isnt awalsy theanswer but then you advise me to kill Max. I will know soon when the vision comes to me how to get back at them. I will help them learn how to become safe....maybe I can finally get through to them if I help them with my friend.

[ask-a-cultist]

Did you die?

Ii didnt die, I;ve been thinking wih a frined about howw to punishh themn. Sooon the viiison will comne to me

[ask-a-cultist]

You could dress as David again and do illegal things to get him arrested. Then take his place and murder max before he figures out your plan.

dIDnt yOu sayy thaat I shouldnt resortto kiiling? *sniffs* YoU suure backtrack, maybee I shouuldnt be taking adviec fron yOu. Aibtotugjmthis

[ask-a-cultist]

:0 you thought I was right?! Anyways, why don't you ask David for advice for solving your problems instead of getting assistance with it?

Of course! Killing would be too good for them! I have to think of other ways to handle my problems and I will be planning my revenge on David and those campers who dared use Xemug’s image to manipulate me! *wipes blood from nose* I won’t be ascending them, they can continue to live and be corrupted and unsafe from the dark particles that infect them every day they walk this earth!

[ask-a-cultist]

Killing is not always the answer to your problems, and neither is purification

You are kind of right, excuse me I have to have a conversation with an ...acquaintance...to help me figure out how to deal with my problems...

[ask-a-cultist]

oh trust me, they totally could, and they totally did.

Oh....I see....Well then. It appears I will be returning to Sleepy Peak....I have to teach them a little lesson about....Staying Safe....I really should find my sacri....ascension dagger, I got rid of it when the great overlord said it was no longer needed....

[ask-a-cultist]

Hate to break it to you, but Max and David tricked you into going to Antarctica, by using a giant head of Xemüg. You have been tricked my friend.

Haha….ha…ha….wait….what….How would they have had the time to…..well they did vanish a little before Xemug appeared…..but…they couldnt have possibly put together an exact replica of Xemug in such a short time….could they? *eye twitches*

[ask-a-cultist]

whats that on fire behind you?

Oh! that is the bonfire for the shrine! I built it first because it is really fucking cold here

[ask-a-cultist]

well its not your job to ascend people anymore, its your job to keep his shrine and woreship Xemug from there! that's a huge honor! and besides, you've probably already ascended enough people to make Xemug happy enough to give you such a high honor. yeah.

You are so right! I ascended many for him. I didn’t know there was a limit on it though, but it is good to know that I’ve done enough to make him give me such a great honor such as this!

[ask-a-cultist]

well obviously the shrine is suppose to be in Antarctica becaaaauuusssseee only true followers would travel that far through such a cold and dangerous land to be able to worship Xemug at his shrine!

Hmmm….You do have a point. A true follower, like myself, would go to the ends of the world to appease the great overlord Xemug…I guess I will continue to build the shrine alone till the other followers find their way to my location

[ask-a-cultist]

Do you sleep with your eyes open or not sleep at all?

I sleep with one eye open! Always! I tried to keep both open, but the pain was just too much. I have to be alert for if Xemug shows up again to give me orders on how exactly to make his shrine!

[ask-a-cultist]

( I will be answering the ask in my inbox soon! I have to get more screenshots and do some fun editing before I can answer some of them though.)

[ask-a-cultist]

It sure is lonely here in Antarctica, I wonder why Xemug wants his shrine here. Surely, a more popular location should have been a better choice, oh not to question Xemug's wishes of course! But how am I supposed to let people know they can be safe, sure Xemug said no more sacr...err no more ascension is needed, but it does feel a bit depressing to not have ....willing... followers help out around here...Feel free to ask me questions of enlightenment!

[ask-a-cultist]

Daniel, I'm worried my allergies will prevent me from following a full purification diet :-( I have a mild oral reaction to most fresh produce, what do you suggest I do?

Oh dear! You may have to take a whooole handful of allergy medication!

[ask-a-cultist]

have you ever been in a relationship?

*Sweats* Yes, I have been. Lets just say things didn’t end very well.

[ask-a-cultist]

Who was your favourite camper at Camp Campbell?

Hmm favorite camper….Well I do like the Space Kid…..he was really easy to convince into joining the new order of things…..Should have taken him with me to Antarctica…